Somewhere I Have Never Travelled
by my-other-ride-is-your-mum
Summary: Naomily AU with the rest of the gang - Naomi is new at college, quiet and shy, while Emily is a self-imposed social outcast and troublemaker, determined to push everyone away...lots of angst...romance...and a bit of humour...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is my new fic...er...obviously :P it's AU and set in college and will be **_**all**_** from Naomi's POV...no negotiating on that one! I also don't know much about the British schooling system, so this Bristol College is a mish-mash of my experience in Australian high schools, my vast DVD collection of American teen TV dramas and movies (mean girls ftw!), and what I saw on Skins...so, no need to tell me I got something wrong...it's a pretty safe bet that it's all wrong!**

**For those of you wondering - I will finish my other fic...just suffering some writers block and hoping that if I continue on with this it might resolve itself...and hopefully soon :)**

**Anyways hope you enjoy!**

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Naomi hovers at the gate and watches the crowd of students mingle about and meander into the college slowly. It's colder in the morning here than she's used to, windier, and she pulls her cardigan closed across her chest and slides the sleeves over her hands. The material is grey and nondescript, just like the rest of her clothing; dark skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt and some sneakers. Over the years she's learnt how to not stand out.

She sweeps some stray blonde hair away from her face and glances around the grounds. It's not an unattractive college, recently built with modern, concrete and glass buildings and manicured lawns. Nicer than most of the schools she been to, and there have been a few. But she's sure that it's like all the others on the inside. They're always the same. Disillusioned and underpaid teachers. Apathetic and disaffected students. She doesn't expect it to be any different this time. But all she needs to do is keep her head down this year and get her A-Levels.

If she's here long enough.

She hitches her bag up higher on her shoulder and takes one last deep breath, resigning herself to her fate, then forces her legs to move and makes her way through the front entrance. She's done this so many times now that she shouldn't be nervous, but she is. Can't seem to shake that anxious feeling in her stomach she always gets when she's thrown into a whole new group of students.

Forever the 'new girl'.

Halfway up the steps she hears yelling and shrieking coming from behind her and instinctively turns her head. A fight has broken about between two meat head guys, each one pushing at the other as one girl, who Naomi presumes to be the cause of the fight, screams at them to stop. The blonde shakes her head. From her very limited experience she's learnt that teenage boys are very stupid. Although she's pretty sure most teenager girls are stupid too. Half the reason she's never had any friends.

As she turns her head back around to keep walking something catches her eye and she freezes. At first it's a colour, a brilliant fiery red. It takes her a second to realise that it's hair. She squints. She's never seen hair that radiant shade before. It changes colour as it reflects the sun and Naomi thinks it looks like fire. Thinks that whoever died their hair that colour must be pretty self-assured to pull it off. Briefly wishes she could be like that.

Her focus then shifts to the girl in question and her eyes widen slightly. Not that she can see much of her, because the petite redhead is pushing a brunette girl up against a tree, their mouths fused together in a frantic kiss, hands roaming all over each other unashamedly, as if they don't know that they're putting on a show for every teenage boy in the vacinity.

Naomi knows she's staring. Knows she's been looking at them far longer than is polite, but she can't seem to tear her eyes away. Even from this far away it's almost like she can feel the energy emanating from the redhead. Frenzied and loud and brash. She barely notices the brunette.

It's all red.

She watches the girl slide her hand up the brunette's thigh and under her skirt, and feels her own stomach flip. It's enough to startle her out of her daze, and she dismisses the feeling quickly as she turns to continue walking up the steps.

Two boys rush past her and almost knock her to the ground. One with wild bushy hair and braces, the other a little rough looking but still kind of cute. Neither boy stops to help her steady herself, in fact they don't seem to notice her at all, and she thinks that yes, this is going to be exactly like every other school she's been to. Not that she actually expected it to be any different. Or wants it to be.

She shakes it off and makes her way inside, faintly catching bits and pieces of the boys' conversation. Something about their friend Emilio hooking up with a '10' last night. Naomi rolls her eyes. Stupid horny teenage boys rating their conquests. The same everywhere. She used to catch the bus home from school with a bunch of boys a couple of years older than her...and the things she heard them talking about were things she could have gone her whole life without knowing.

The familiar anxiousness tightens her chest. She isn't sure where she's going, but thankfully there are teachers standing in the corridors, herding them like cattle, directing first years into the theatre hall and second years into the gym. It's the first day of school and the teacher's already look like they don't want to be there.

Not an encouraging sign.

She notices that she's following the two boys into the gym and rolls her eyes. Hopes that she's not in their class.

She's part of the last group that trickles in, and groans inwardly when she finds the bleachers are almost full. She glances around quickly and feels her heart beat a little faster as she tries to determine the best place to sit. Feels self-conscious, knowing that people are staring at the new girl, and makes her way to some clear space in the back corner. She can feel people looking at her as she moves up to the back, but she keeps her head down. Tries not to hear the hushed conversations about the new girl.

Finally she takes her seat just as a tall slim woman with dark brown hair steps out from the line of teachers in the middle of the basketball court. She calls for quiet, which takes about three minutes to achieve, but eventually the crowd of students are more or less silent, or at least no longer throwing balls of paper and talking on their phones. She introduces herself as Harriet, and the name sounds vaguely familiar to Naomi. Thinks that her mum probably mentioned her. She's obviously the head of the college, and as she starts her speech welcoming the returning students and the few new ones Naomi zones out, glancing at the crowd around her instead.

She spots the stereotypes straight away – they're almost comical in their adherence to the various clichés. So easy to pick out.

The nerds are predictably down the front, some of them even have notebooks open with pens hovering above, prepared to note down anything of importance. Naomi can't imagine anything important being said to a crowd of 300 teenagers, but even if there was she's pretty sure she's heard it before at another school.

Her eyes wander back from the nerds and she spots the pretty girls sitting in the middle of the crowd, immaculately made up with bouncy hair and flawless make-up. Short skirts and cute little tops. They aren't paying attention to Harriet either, one of them checking her phone and one flicking through a magazine while the rest of them whisper covertly. They seem to have two leaders, both with brown hair, which surprises Naomi a little. In her experience it's usually the blonde's that are in charge in these cliques. She can't see any of their faces, but they have an air of arrogance and power about them. A blonde girl, kind of innocent looking, seems to fawn over both of them.

Next to the pretty girls are the cute boys. Of course. Cute boys always follow the pretty girls. The two groups seem to exchange flirty glances every now and then. She notices two boys in particular, one tall and lanky and cute, with floppy black hair and olive skin, the other quite solid with dark skin and a warm bright smile that he seems to wear most of the time. The tall one catches her staring and smiles, a dazzling smile that causes a flutter low in her stomach and her heart to race a little. He nods as if saying hello, and Naomi smiles tightly before glancing away. She never knows how to deal with attention from boys.

She plays with her fingers for a few seconds while she calms herself, picks at her already chipped bright blue nail polish. Her nails are always brightly coloured, despite not wanting to draw attention to herself. Pink, blue, purple, orange, green. It's her subtle rebellion. One of the only aspects of her personality that she displays outwardly. Plus, she likes the colours.

She shifts her focus back up the stands, finds the emo kids, the Goths, the art and drama kids. Naomi knows she doesn't fit into any of those groups. She doesn't fit in anywhere. She doesn't make friends easily...or at all really. She'd grown up awkward and gawky, with limbs too long for her body. Glasses too big for her face. Clothes that were never quite cool enough, no matter how hard she tried. When she was fifteen she'd finally grown into her body, woken up one morning with boobs and hips. Her puppy fat gone. She'd begged her mum for contact lenses so she wouldn't be teased anymore. Suddenly the girls stopped picking on her and wanted to be her friend. The boys leered at her during class and made innuendo laden comments. But she didn't know how to make friends, felt awkward and insecure around people her own age, so mostly ignored them. When she looks in the mirror now she sees the same pretty blonde girl everyone else does, but still feels like a chubby nerdy kid with glasses, who prefers to stay home and read a book rather than getting drunk at a party.

She flicks her eyes to the opposite corner of the bleachers and feels her breath hitch as her lungs contract. Fiery red hair. And the girl it belongs to. Sitting with those two boys that almost bowled her over on the way in. The two boys are nudging each other and whispering, the cute one opening his mouth in a near silent chuckle every so often, making vulgar gestures with his hands. But the girl is sitting with her legs crossed and her head down, peering at a book she's holding low in her lap. The boys try several times to engage her but she ignores them, seemingly transfixed by what she's reading.

Naomi finds herself wanting to know what that book is. Wants to know what could make the redhead with so much energy before so still now. She wonders briefly if maybe it's not the same girl. Maybe she has a twin or something, because this girl seems nothing like the one from outside.

She starts to wonder about other things. Like whom the brunette girl is that the redhead was kissing outside, and why they aren't sitting together now. Doesn't want to think about why she might care.

Her eyes trail over the girl. She's wearing short dark-blue shorts with dark tights underneath, a white singlet and a bold yellow cardigan. It shouldn't work but it does. Naomi figures that she's just one of those effortlessly cool girls that she envies so much.

She isn't sure how long she's been staring but suddenly the redhead lifts her head and turns quickly to look directly at her, as if she knew Naomi had been studying her this whole time.

She peers at Naomi through narrowed eyes, almost questioningly, and there's an anger and abrasiveness behind them that almost makes Naomi flinch. She's pinned down by them, feels like she's been found out, exposed in a way she can't quite define.

But then the redhead's expression changes, softens, the anger drained from her gaze, with a look that steals the breath right from Naomi's chest. For some inexplicable reason the blonde thinks that maybe she's not the only one feeling exposed.

She knows she should look away. Her brain is screaming for her to look away, but that fluttering feeling is back in her stomach and her heart is pumping faster as the redhead is holding her gaze like she's some kind of magnet.

The girl continues to stare for what feels to Naomi like an eternity, before the blonde notices her lips curling into a smirk. It's hard and mocking and Naomi knows exactly what that look means, and suddenly she feels like she's thirteen again getting belittled in the playground by the class queen bee.

The feeling forces her eyes down and she stares at her feet. Can't help wondering if the redhead is still looking at her, then what the fuck that just was. Puts it down to first day nerves because it's too complicated to think about what else it might be.

Her eyes are glued to the floor for the rest of the assembly, not daring to look up at the redhead, despite their weird little staring contest being the only thing she can think about. She tries to focus on what Harriet is saying but it floats around her head without anything actually sinking in. She doesn't even realise they've all been excused until the noise erupts from the students as they stand and carry on their conversations.

She grabs her bag and stands, finally chances a sly glance over at the redhead but she's gone, and so are the two boys she was with. Naomi scans the throng of students bottle-necked at the exits but doesn't spot the blazing red hair. Shakes her head because she doesn't even know why she's looking.

She's at the back of the pack and one of the last students to exit the gym, then follows the signs to her home room, the number of which was sent to her in her enrolment pack. The corridors have well and truly emptied by the time she finds the room and she knows she's late, opening the door quietly and trying to slip inside without causing any disruption. Doesn't quite pull it off. The teacher at the front notices her intrusion immediately, pauses in the middle of writing on the whiteboard and turns around to greet her.

"Another fucking one," he complains in a thick Irish accent.

Naomi frowns and feels slightly affronted. She's not used to teachers swearing, but then again this guy doesn't quite look like a teacher either. Shaggy – that's probably the best word to describe him. Messy hair and unruly beard, untucked shirt and mismatched clothing. If he was younger he'd look like a uni student. But he's old and he just looks tired and pissed off.

He looks at her and gestures to the classroom full of desks that Naomi has been ignoring, not yet ready to meet her classmates.

"Go on then," he urges her. "Find an empty fucking seat."

She smiles nervously as he turns back to the whiteboard, then she swivels around to peer at the classroom full of students, their hushed conversations buzzing around her.

She stands there like an idiot scanning the tables for an empty seat and finds some of the faces she'd noticed in the assembly. The two pretty brunette girls are sitting in the middle row with the blonde girl next to them, all staring back at her with friendly smiles. Naomi feels like they might not be the bitches she expected them to be. The one with the longer hair has piercing blue eyes and Naomi feels slightly uncomfortable under her gaze. The other brunette is not quite a brunette, her hair shining a subtle shade of purple under the lights now that Naomi can see it more clearly. She also looks familiar, but the blonde has had that many classmates that everyone starts to look familiar after you've been to a few schools.

The cute dark-haired boy who smiled at her is sitting in front of the girls with the dark-skinned boy, both smiling at her warmly. The dark-haired boy winks at her. She glances away, feeling uncomfortable with his attention. She supposes he might be flirting with her, and she has no fucking idea how to handle that.

She shifts her gaze up to the back and when she sees fiery red her heart stops. The girl with the blazing hair is sitting in the corner, scratching at the desk with a pen and ignoring her completely. She's sitting one seat apart from the two boys she was with in the assembly, the cute one relaxing back in his chair with his feet up on the table and the bushy haired one staring into space and talking very fast about something Naomi can't make out.

There are only two spare seats in the whole classroom and Naomi feels like the universe is trying to punish her for something. One is next to the redhead, the other in the middle row next to the blonde girl, directly in front of the redhead and directly behind the dark-haired boy who smiled and winked at her.

She bites her lip. Not much of a fucking choice, but she's not brave enough to sit next to the redhead, even if she does want to...which she doesn't...probably. The blonde girl is grinning at her and excitedly pointing to the empty seat next to her, so Naomi moves forward tentatively and pulls out the chair.

"Hi," she mumbles with a smile as she sits down.

The blonde's face lights up. "Wizzer! I was hopin' you'd sit next to me. I'm Pandora, I like your hair."

Naomi feels a little overwhelmed by Pandora's intense energy, but at least it's friendly and welcoming. She finds herself smiling back naturally, subconsciously fiddling with her hair which she'd braided this morning.

"Thanks, I'm Naomi."

"Naomi," Pandora echoes, her voice about three octaves higher than the blonde's. "That's a flippin' cool name. Not like mine." She throws her arm out to her other side. "This is Effy," she points to the one with the blue eyes, who nods back at Naomi, "and this is Katie," she points to the other, "we're the bestest friends in the flippin' world."

Naomi keeps her smile fixed in place, feels Effy gaze at her intently while Katie only glances at her briefly in acknowledgement, before looking back down at her magazine. Naomi tries not to take it personally. Also tries not to think about whether the redhead has noticed her yet.

"Right," the teacher announces, drawing Naomi's attention back to the front of the class.

She turns her head just in time to catch the dark haired boy staring at her before he turns back around. She furrows her brow and wonders what the fuck is going on. She's used to the usual general interest that she generates being the new girl, but this is just odd. She touches her forehead subtly to make sure nothing sprouted since she left the house this morning.

"Alright. I don't want to be here anymore than you do, but we're stuck together all year so let's try not to hate each other."

Naomi scoffs at the inspiring speech. She's never had a teacher like this guy before. Maybe Bristol College isn't going to be like all the others.

"Now I don't particularly care who any of you are but the college thinks that if we all stand up and introduce ourselves we'll all get along better." He scratches his beard. "Although I guess most of you know each other from last year. But fuck it, I've forgotten who half of you are so I'll go first. I'm Kieran, and I hate being a fucking teacher. Who's next? You, big guy."

He points to the dark-haired boy in front of Naomi and he stands, slips his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Naomi notices some scrapes down his forearms and wonders how he got them. He looks like a skater, he probably got them showing off. He looks the type, with his hair falling all over his forehead, loose careless clothing and cocky attitude.

"Uh, I'm Freddie...and I recently discovered that I like blonde haired girls with ice blue eyes."

Naomi's whole body freezes, her breath catches in her throat, thinks that he couldn't possibly be talking about her, _maybe he's talking about Pandora_, until he turns around briefly and winks at her. She's pretty sure that her heart actually stops, and then thumps against her ribs a few seconds later. She shifts uncomfortably in her chair. But there's something about his warm brown eyes that draws her in.

She hears mocking laughter behind her and tries to ignore it. Knows that it must be coming from the redhead because she's the only girl back there and it's definitely coming from a girl. Wonders what she did to piss that girl off.

_Oh right, the creepy staring._

The rest of the class seems unfazed by the whole encounter, and Naomi tries to slow down her heartbeat with deep calming breaths.

"That's fucking marvellous," Kieran adds dryly. "You next."

The dark-skinned boy stands. "Hello, I am Thomas." He speaks with a thick African accent. "I was born in the Democratic Republic of the Congo but I came to Bristol last year to escape the war in my country and to have a better life here. I like this country very much."

He flashes a brilliant bright smile and Naomi finds herself smiling back. He seems genuinely nice and she knows all about the horrors of the war in the Congo thanks to her mum.

It's Katie's turn next, and she stands with a flirtatious flick of her hair and a confident smile. Sweeps her fringe behind her ear.

"I'm Katie," Naomi notices she has a slight lisp, "and next year I'm going to go to university in London and study fashion design."

She grins and then takes her seat again, and Effy stands up slowly.

"I'm Effy. My parents got divorced over the summer because my mum was having an affair."

Her voice is flat and monotone, and Naomi wonders for a second if Effy's telling the truth or just messing with everyone. Her intense blue eyes don't give anything away.

Pandora jumps to her feet next, and Naomi's heart beats a little faster knowing that she's next.

"I'm Pandora, but everyone calls me Panda...I had a ripper summer, and now I'm just happy to be back at college with all my friends."

She gives a small little wave to the class and giggles, then takes her seat, and Naomi takes a deep breath because it's her turn.

She stands up slowly. She's done this before at some of her other schools and she was nervous enough then, but with the weird start to the morning her legs are feeling like jelly.

"Hi," she croaks out, winces in embarrassment then clears her throat and tries again. "Hi. I'm Naomi. I just moved to Bristol with my mum but I've lived all over...we were living in Australia last year."

She smiles tightly and sits back down. Hears whispering behind her and forces herself not to turn around, is thankful when the next person gets up and diverts the attention from her.

A few more of her classmates have their turn and then Naomi knows that it's time for the three in the back row. Hears a chair scrape angrily across the linoleum floor.

"I'm JJ. With regard to mathematic aptitude I'm in the top 0.3% of the population which is an interesting demographic statistic because paradoxically my communication interpersonal and intuitive skills are towards the lower quartiles."

Naomi guesses that it must be the bushy haired boy and smiles. He actually seems quite sweet. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Pandora turn around and wave at him.

"I'm Cook...and I don't give a fuck."

Kieran scoffs. "Well we're in agreement there. You, redhead, last one. Thank fucking god."

Naomi stiffens. Feels like no other sound exists in the room other than the scraping of a chair and the beating of her heart.

"I'm Emily..."

She feels her stomach flip again and hands tighten into fists. Something about Emily's husky voice warms her skin. She can't stop herself from turning to look at her, and when she does her stomach clenches into a knot, because Emily is staring right at her. Talking right to her, her dark eyes blazing with something Naomi can't name, drawing her in like a magnet again.

"...and probably 98% of what you've all heard about me is true," she smirks, "although my dear twin Katie probably doesn't want you all to think that."

Naomi frowns. _Twin? Katie?_

She turns back to Katie who's rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Glances back to Emily who's smirking at her. Back to Katie.

How could she not have seen it? They aren't identical, but they look similar at a glance. The same button nose and doe eyes, though Emily's are a little wider than her sister's, her chin a little more pointed, Katie's face a little fuller. Emily's lips curl up a fraction more.

It's obvious to her now that they are sisters, twins, but they seem so different that she hadn't even put it together. Emily seems fierce and abrasive, while Katie looks to be controlled and polite. They seem to be complete opposites.

_And what the hell had people heard about Emily that was true?_

She looks back to Emily, who's still standing and smirking at her.

"Oh, and I like blonde's with ice blue eyes too."

Her voice is mocking and cruel, and Naomi blinks hard and turns around, tries to concentrate on getting air into her lungs. Swallows and finds her throat dry. She hears chuckling behind her, mumbled swearing in front of her and Katie's hushed complaining next to her.

_Fucking hell._

And this is only the first morning.

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**So what do you think so far? I'm kind of excited about it, but there's no point me continuing if no one else is, so please let me know...I will warn you that it's going to be pretty angsty...like 75% angst, 20% sexy-angst, and 5% fluff...I loves me some angst...but we all know the Naomily love cannot be denied..just delayed :P**

**Chapters probably won't normally be this long, (er...maybe), but I just wanted to give you guys a good idea of where I will be taking this.**

**So shoot me a review and let me know what you think! Should I keep going?**

**peace out,**

**audrey :)**

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**By the way, the title for this story is from my favourite e. e. cummings poem, which is generally referred to by its first line, 'somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond', (he never titled his poems). It's so beautiful and fits perfectly with an epic love like Emily and Naomi's. You should read it and swoon...**

**somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond  
any experience,your eyes have their silence:  
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,  
or which I cannot touch because they are too near  
**

**your slightest look easily will unclose me  
though i have closed myself as fingers,  
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens  
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose  
**

**or if your wish be to close me,i and  
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly, **

**as when the heart of this flower imagines  
the snow carefully everywhere descending;  
**

**nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals  
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture  
compels me with colour of its countries,  
rendering death and forever with each breathing  
**

**(i do not know what it is about you that closes  
and opens;only something in me understands  
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)  
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands**

**Grammar mistakes are intentional...Edward Estlin was a rebel :P**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: HOLY FUCK BATMAN...I **_**seriously**_** was not expecting such an awesome response from you guys...I want to like...cry at how nice you all are and then make out with you all or something! Feeling the pressure for this next chapter to rock though :P**

**Now, I realise that these are familiar storylines that we've all seen in movies and TV and books before, but everything's been done before anyway right? And hopefully I bring something new to them...er...hopefully :P**

**A lot of you expressed that you want long chapters...hmmm...*rubs chin*...I'll see what I can do...**

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Naomi's last class before lunch is English, with a very strange teacher named Josie, and her hand puppet named Gerald. They're studying Hamlet which Naomi aced last year, so she's not paying much attention to Gerald the hand puppet. Not that she thinks she'd learn a great deal from him anyway. She's at least glad that she doesn't seem to be behind in any of her classes, might even be ahead of the curriculum. She takes pride in how smart she is. Thinks it's the only real thing that makes her stand out.

Her head is down and she's doodling in her notebook. She's rubbish at any kind of art but most of her school notebooks have pages filled with little scribbles and drawings. She finds it calming, and a good way to pass the time considering she's usually bored in class.

Pandora and Katie sit to her right. Katie fiddles with her phone for most of the class, while Pandora seems to be captivated by Gerald, a loopy smile gracing her face as she follows his movements.

Naomi likes Pandora, despite her raging enthusiasm being a little confronting. She's a little dippy, but genuinely friendly, and seems to be devoid of any of the posturing bullshit that most teenagers, including herself, usually adopt. Katie is a little more aloof, but polite and friendly, and Naomi thinks that maybe she's somehow lucked into making actual friends.

She feels her phone vibrating in her pocket and pulls it out surreptitiously. Not that she needs to be covert because Josie and Gerald don't seem to even notice the ten or so students who have had their phones out all lesson. But Naomi is used to following the rules. She likes rules.

She glances down to it at her side, knowing that the message must be either from the phone company or her mother, because they're the only people she gets messages from, which she knows is all kinds of pathetic.

She rolls her eyes as she reads her mother's message.

**Just met the most amazing**

**man at Tesco. I told you I**

**have a good feeling about**

**this town! Enjoy your first**

**day. Love you – Mum.**

She feels a weight in the pit of her stomach. That familiar ball of anxiety.

Fucking Tesco. The bane of Naomi's existence and her mother's favourite hunting ground. She's found at least five of her losers in that place, and they've been in Bristol for less than a week and already her mother has met another man. Naomi was hoping it would take a little longer this time, so that they might actually stay in one place for more than a few months. She can only hope that this Tesco guy isn't stupid enough to get caught up with her flighty mother.

She slips her phone back into her pocket and feels someone staring at her. Turns her head and finds Pandora smiling, her hand sliding a piece of paper over to her desk. Naomi pulls it towards herself and feels her body tense. Instinctively assumes the worst. She's had some horrible notes passed to her during her school years and she automatically steels herself to read something nasty.

She scans the page and feels her body relax. In messey, loopy handwriting Pandora has asked her if she wants to have lunch with them. Naomi takes a relieved breath and struggles to suppress a huge grin. Thinks that despite the strange start to the morning maybe Bristol College won't be so terrible.

She scribbles down a yes and even a smiley face which is not like her at all, then pushes the paper back over to Pandora with a smile. The girl's face lights up when she reads it, and Naomi watches her nudge Katie with her elbow and show her. Katie's reaction is more subdued but still pleased, smiling and nodding her head slightly.

Naomi lowers her eyes again and continues to doodle absentmindedly. She hasn't seen Emily or Freddie again since home room, and tells herself that she's glad that the redhead hasn't been in any of her classes yet, although she occasionally thinks about her throughout the morning. Thinks of Freddie too, and the way he so blatantly flirted with her. She's never had a guy be that obvious about it before, and she can't help wondering if maybe he was just messing with her. That seems like a far more likely scenario given her track record and the fact that he's obviously a popular and good-looking guy.

Her thoughts shift to what happened with Emily in assembly and then in home room. The ambiguous tension that seems to exist between them. Tries not to think about how she felt when she watched Emily push that brunette girl up against the tree and slide her hand up her thigh. Or when she'd made that remark about liking blonde's with blue eyes. She isn't sure if Emily was mocking her or Freddie with her comments, but either way Naomi's decided that Emily is someone she should avoid. Even if there is something that the blonde finds inexplicably intriguing about her.

She's pulled out of her reverie by the bell signalling lunch and the noise of the subsequent stampede of students. Panda jumps out of her seat like a jack in the box, startling Naomi somewhat.

"So you're going to have lunch with us Naomi? Wizzer!"

Naomi grins despite herself, because she's never had anyone be so excited to have lunch with her before.

"Katie, Effy and me always eat lunch together," Pandora continues, then looks up thoughtfully, "unless one of them has a boyfriend." She frowns. "I've never had a boyfriend."

Naomi smiles sympathetically but is too shy to voice that she's never had one either.

Katie turns to them, her eyebrows raised expectantly. "Alright bitches, let's go, I'm starving."

Naomi's smile widens because a girl her age just called her a bitch and she wasn't being mean.

She glances down at her notebook before she closes it. Is surprised to find that most of the page is filled with tiny little hearts.

She could have sworn she started off drawing stars.

-x-

"The cafeteria is this way," Katie says to Naomi over her shoulder.

The brunette is walking slightly in front of her and Pandora, and Naomi takes in the way she's dressed, almost the opposite of her twin. Her cute skirt and blouse are preppy and obviously expensive, a stark contrast to Emily's outfit, which looked scavenged from a second-hand shop. In fact almost everything about them seems to be different, at least outwardly. The only similarity Naomi has noticed is that they both have a commanding presence, an energy about them that can't be ignored.

She watches Katie walking ahead of her and it's obvious that she's used to being in charge, as the mass of students in the corridor seem to part as she walks past, while Naomi and Pandora have to struggle through, knocking into people and pushing past others. She tries to keep up as best she can while apologising profusely to the people she's practically physically assaulting. Keeps an eye out for the bright candy-striped dress Pandora is wearing.

Following through the cafeteria she keeps her head down out of habit. Always feels so self-conscious in such a large crowd. Her eyes are low, so when someone steps in front of her the first thing she notices is their shoes. Ratty, beat-up sneakers. Her heart thumps a little faster. She doesn't need to look up to know who they belong to, but her assumption is proved correct when she finally lifts her head.

"Hi. Naomi right? I'm Freddie."

He smiles and flicks his hair out of his eyelashes and her stomach flips, like some kind of instantaneous chemical reaction that she wishes she could control, because with all the hair flicking and eyelash batting he seems like a bit of an entitled douchebag. And she doesn't want her stomach flipping for an entitled douchebag.

She blinks a couple of times. Tries to keep her breathing even. He's good looking and he knows it, which doesn't annoy her as much as she thinks it should, which then annoys her. There's something boyish and charming about him. A naiveté, even though Naomi is fairly certain Freddie knows exactly what he's doing.

She remembers that she's standing there staring at him like some kind of silent moron and decided she better say _something_.

"Um...hi...yeah, Naomi...that's me."

She can't help cringing at her stammering, despite the fact that Freddie is watching her closely, an amused smile playing on his lips.

"Well it's nice to meet you Naomi."

It's usually such a throwaway line, but his warm brown eyes are holding her gaze and it crosses her mind that he might actually be sincere.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm having a party this Friday night at my house. It's kind of like a tradition for the first week back at school. Katie, Effy and Panda will be there. Everyone will really. So...you should come."

His voice is nonchalant and Naomi can tell that he's used to girls saying yes to him. Parties are not her thing...not that she's ever actually been invited to one. Her brain is running through a list of all the reasons she should say no, but when her mouth opens she surprises herself.

"Um...okay, sure."

Freddie's face lights up with a wide grin, his dark eyes sparkling. "Cool." He scratches his head. "I guess I better let you get back to your friends."

He nods in the direction of Katie, Effy and Pandora, who are sitting at a table watching them with interest. Katie and Effy are wearing sly grins, while Pandora is smiling excitedly, her body leaning forward in her seat like she's trying to hear their conversation even though she's on the other side of the room. Then Naomi realises that those three aren't the only ones watching them, several other interested pairs of eyes focused on her and Freddie.

She's suddenly feeling incredibly self-conscious and lowers her eyes again. These are the types of situations she's avoided her whole life.

"Yeah, see ya."

Freddie nods at her a final time and smiles, before turning and walking back to his table, his hands dug into his pockets. Naomi takes a second to compose herself, and after a few deep breaths heads over to the other girls, her legs feeling like jelly.

"What was that all about?" Effy asks with a smirk before Naomi has even sat down.

"Yeah, what was that about?" Panda echoes. "Freddie is super dreamy."

Naomi laughs nervously, just because she doesn't know what else to do. "It was nothing..."

"He invited you to his party didn't he?" Katie asks, and tough her tone is light there's an edge to her voice that unnerves Naomi.

"Yeah...he...he mentioned it," she stutters, unsure of what Katie wants to hear, not wanting to jeopardise their potential friendship.

Katie shakes her head and drops the french fry she's holding, a disgusted look on her face. "I knew it. He made it half obvious in home room. Fuck, he's such an operator."

"No he's not," Effy says warily, as if they've had this argument before. "He's a nice guy. You've just never liked him since that business with Emily. That was years ago Katie."

Naomi sits up a little straighter when she hears Emily's name. Wonders what happened between her and Freddie, and then remembers Emily's comment from home room and considers what she might've meant about 98% of the rumours about her being true.

She glances around the cafeteria looking for red.

"You're just saying that because you two used to fuck," Katie counters.

Naomi whips her head around to Effy at this new information, and the brunette is smiling and shaking her head.

"Hold on," Panda addresses Katie with a mouthful of chocolate brownie, "I thought you hated Emily?"

Naomi frowns in confusion. There are too many questions and not enough answers.

"Whatever," Katie says firmly, clearly wanting to end the conversation. "Its rude to talk about things Naomi doesn't know about." She shifts her focus to the blonde. "So, why were you in Australia anyway?"

Three pairs of eyes are trained on Naomi, and she sinks back into her seat, uncomfortable with the attention.

"Oh, nothing exciting," she says casually, busying herself with unwrapping her sandwich, "my mum just likes to travel. We were in Melbourne for about a year."

"I bet the guys are way hotter there than they are here," Katie adds, taking a sip of her Diet Coke. "I've heard they're hotter, tanned and muscly..." she trails off with a faraway look in her eyes.

Naomi smiles nervously. She's never been _one of the girls_, so she has no idea how to do this stuff – gossip and talk about boys. Plus, she doesn't have much to add on the subject. Although there was this one boy she liked, who had no idea she even existed.

"Well...they're not all like that...but some of them...yeah, very cute."

Despite her underwhelming response Katie seems pleased with her confirmation that the guys are indeed cute.

"I knew it. We need more cute guys at this school."

"I think JJ's cute," Pandora blurts out, looking embarrassed when Katie's eyes flare.

"I told you Panda," she says tightly, "JJ's a dick. He hangs out with Cook and Emily for God's sake."

She says her sister's name harsher than the others, and clearly anything Emily is a sore point for Katie. So despite the fact that she has dozens of questions, Naomi holds her tongue. Doesn't want to risk alienating any of them.

"Don't listen to her," Effy says with a roll of her eyes, "JJ's nice."

Panda grins, her feelings having been validated.

That seems to be the dynamic Naomi has noticed between the three of them. Katie forceful and outspoken and sometimes a bit of a bully, countered by Effy's composure and calm, while Pandora is...something Naomi has never encountered. Innocent and naive and enthusiastic about the smallest things that most people wouldn't care about. Naomi finds it endearing. She can tell that they have been friends for years by how at ease and honest they are with each other, and she finds herself envious of their friendship.

"So did you leave a boyfriend in Australia?" Kate asks, returning to what seems to be her favourite subject.

Naomi doesn't know how to answer that question and not sound lame so she resorts to something vague.

The discussion moves along, the conversation bouncing around like a pinball between the three of them, Naomi mostly silent and observing. It's what she feels most comfortable doing. They ask her questions about her life or her opinions on various subjects, but she enjoys watching the interaction between the girls.

Briefly let's herself hope that maybe she's actually made some friends.

-x-

She doesn't see Emily for the rest of the day, even though the redhead is supposed to be in her politics class. Their teacher called her name out a couple of times but it looks like Emily ditched. It mustn't be that unusual because the teacher almost seems to expect it, as do her fellow students. Truthfully Naomi is a little disappointed. There's something about the redhead that she finds intriguing, like a puzzle she needs to figure out. She tells herself that's all it is.

She's taken her time at her locker to let the chaos in the corridors die down, and slides her bag onto her shoulder as she makes her way to the college library in search of new books to devour.

Because they're moving all the time Naomi has learned to pack light, and boxes of books aren't conducive to her mother's nomadic lifestyle. Plus, her mum always taught her not to pay for something she could get for free. She usually tries not to listen to her mother's advice, but she's found that to be useful over the years.

She pushes through the glass door and takes a second to orientate herself with the library. It's impressive, a smile sneaking onto her face as scans the seemingly endless shelves of books. This is where she feels most herself, surrounded by the words of the writer's she loves, where she can disappear into other worlds and imagine that she's braver and smarter and funnier than she really is.

Besides the librarian there are only a handful of students spread out among the desks. And it's quiet, the way libraries are supposed to be. The way Naomi likes it.

She heads through the work area and to the bookcases, scanning the ends to find the section she's after, finally pulling up in front of the classics. She's found that reading something familiar helps her feel a little more settled after they've just moved someplace new.

She thumbs through the books, enjoying the feel of them against her fingers, delighted that there are so many. She caps herself at four even though she could have taken at least ten, because she has to walk home with them in her already heavy bag.

"Naomi Campbell huh?"

She's startled by the voice behind her and juggles the pile of books in her hands, the top one almost tumbling to the floor. But it's caught by a small hand, and when Naomi glances up to see who it belongs to she almost loses her shit again.

Emily. Smirking at her. Again.

She wonders if that's her default expression.

"Is that seriously your name?"

"Yes," Naomi answers instantly, because something about Emily puts her on edge. She just doesn't know what it is yet.

The redhead is standing at the open end of the bookcases, her hands casually resting on a shelf on either side of the isle, and despite her tiny frame Naomi feels like the redhead is blocking her in. Like she's trapped between her and the wall.

Emily takes a step forward, almost as if she senses her discomfort and wants to rub it in. Naomi feels her heart thumping faster.

"Were your parents playing a joke on you or something?"

Naomi is too busy marvelling at the redhead's husky voice to formulate and answer. Emily doesn't seem to mind her teasing being ignored.

"So why do you move around so much? Ten schools in like, six years. A year long stint in Australia. Are your parents' fugitives or something?"

"How do you...how do you know all that?" Naomi frowns, feeling uncomfortably exposed. She's doesn't like people knowing things about her that she hasn't told them herself, and she's already decided that Emily isn't someone she wants to have something over her.

The redhead shrugs. "Harriet shouldn't leave me alone in the office. I have very _sneaky fingers_."

She draws the last two words out and winks, and Naomi feels her face flush. Pulls the books up to her chest protectively.

"Well...um...I..." she stammers, "...better go."

"Right," Emily nods, stepping to the side to let her pass, "of course."

But she doesn't step back far enough, and Naomi knows that she's going to have to brush past her on her way through.

She smiles tightly, then grips her books harder as she moves forward. Tries to pass through as far away from Emily as possible but it's inevitable that they'll touch, and when her arm grazes Emily's she feels a heat radiate through her body. Her breath hitches in her throat and all she can hear is her heart pounding in her ears.

"See you tomorrow," Emily calls after her as Naomi makes her way to the front desk, that mocking lilt present in her voice once again.

But the blonde doesn't turn back, and makes her way out of there as quickly as possible, the conversation running through her head on a loop. Questions firing through her mind. _Why did Emily look up my file? Why did she even stop to talk to me? Why does she always seem to be making fun of me? Why did she make me walk past her?_

It's not until she's hurrying out of the college gates, her now heavier bag weighing down on her shoulder, that Naomi asks herself what Emily was doing in the library in the first place.

-x-

She unlocks the front door, only to be confronted by the wall of boxes filling the house, and negotiates through the gauntlet on her way to her room.

They've been in the house for a week, and they've barely made a dent in the unpacking. Not that Naomi ever fully unpacks anyway, it's a waste of time, always one or two boxes of childhood stuff that stays boxed up. She likes this house, even though it's a lot older than her last one in Melbourne, but her room is a lot bigger and she has her own bathroom so she figures it evens out. She wouldn't mind staying in this charming yellow house for a while.

She passes the kitchen and finds her mum unpacking more of their crockery.

"How'd your first day go, love?"

Naomi shrugs. She knows exactly what her mum wants to hear. "It was fine...the usual."

"Good, I'm glad." Her mum reaches up to put some mismatched glasses away.

Everything her mum owns is mismatched. Bits and pieces collected from everywhere they've been. It drives Naomi crazy, because she doesn't understand why her mum can't just buy a uniform set.

"What are the little assholes like? Did you make any friends?"

Naomi thinks about Effy and Katie and Pandora, and is happy that for once she doesn't have to lie.

"Yeah, I did. A few really nice girls."

Her mum is practically beaming, her hands on her hips. "That's fantastic. And I'm going out with Roger, the guy I met at Tesco, at the end of the week. I told you I had a good feeling about this place."

And Naomi keeps smiling but it's hollow now as her good mood evaporates. Because her mum always says that. And they always end up moving. But she keeps smiling, because that's how she and her mother work.

"Yeah, me too."

-x-

Later that night in her room after reading The Great Gatsby she grabs a cotton bud and some nail polish remover and cleans the blue off her nails. She likes to change them often when her life is feeling chaotic. Her fingers hover over the colours, then dip down almost of their own accord and pick out a vibrant red.

Just because she hasn't been able to keep that colour off her mind.

.

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* * *

**So I'm a bit of a book nerd...I don't know if you can tell :)**

**Just want to remind you all – there will be lots of yummy angst, and I have epic plans for this baby...but this is a marathon...and good things come to those who wait...and the early bird gets the worm? Wait...that's wrong...you know what I mean...**

**Disclaimer: no disrespect to Tesco...I loved going there when I was stuck in a hell-hole hostel in London...and come to think of it my friend did pick up a guy there one day...hmm...**

******So, I hope it lived up to expectations...even though it's only chapter two ;) **Now, if everyone who reviewed chapter one reviews this chapter I will be VERY happy and it'll motivate me to update faster...not that I'm trying to blackmail you all or anything :P


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Seriously you guys...I'm just like...**_**awed**_** by your lovely words...and I shall do my best to live up to them! No more blackmail...I'm just glad you're enjoying this...**

**Also, I just want to reiterate – this is AU folks...so while some personality traits of the characters do resemble their TV counterparts, a lot of them don't...or won't for now...just keep that in mind...oh, and can we just pretend that Naomi is a natural blonde? Pretty please...because...it works better for my story...thanks ;)**

* * *

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Naomi shuffles into the kitchen in search of coffee, still in her sushi pyjamas with her slippers scuffing against the floor, reluctant to actually get dressed and acknowledge she has to go back to college today and face all the weird shit that happened yesterday.

She yawns and rubs at her eyes, tired and grumpy thanks to a fitful night of what can only be loosely described as sleep and some strange dream about being trapped in a library with a snake after her. Her mood isn't helped by the noise of the radio her mum has playing while she sits at the table, a steaming coffee placed in front of her and head hidden by the newspaper.

"Morning love," she's greeted cheerfully.

Her mother is always so sunny in the morning, which Naomi doesn't appreciate. She's never been a morning person, usually deathly tired after staying up too late reading or writing or listening to music, and it takes a couple of hours for her to even wake up properly. After 17 years her mother still doesn't understand that she likes it quiet in the morning.

She grunts and tips her head up slightly in reply, then moves across to the kettle and flicks it on to reheat the water so that her coffee is boiling hot, the way she likes it.

"There are some good jobs going," her mum continues, lowering the paper to the table.

Naomi notices numerous red circles littering the black and white and tries not to roll her eyes.

"Hopefully I'll have something in a couple of days."

On some level she's comforted by her mother's optimism, though she can never seem to shake her underlying anxiety. Doesn't like things being left to chance, which is unfortunate because that's how her mother lives her life. They've been through this so many times before, landing in a town without her mum having a job, but somehow it always seems to work out in the end. She usually finds a job within a week or so, bumping into someone in the street who knows someplace that has a job opening, or charming a store owner who wasn't even looking for a new employee, or something just as random.

The longest stint of unemployment had been three long weeks when they'd moved to Brighton, her mum recovering from a particularly bad break-up with Henry-the-carpenter in a very dramatic fashion, refusing to leave the house and cutting her long blonde hair into a bob which she's had ever since. Naomi was even a little bit upset about the break-up with Henry, because he was actually pretty decent and a rather good cook. Her mum had spent most of her time on the coach watching soap operas and bursting into tears at random things like toilet paper commercials, so it was a good thing Naomi knew how to take care of herself. But their savings started to dry up and she began to fear that they'd finally run out of luck, her mother sinking further into her quasi-depression every day. But then one afternoon she came home from school and the house was clean, her mum showered and dressed and even wearing make-up, exclaiming proudly that she'd found a job in a sex shop. That had been an eye-opening six months for a then thirteen year old Naomi.

Her mother is just one of those people, falling into things seemingly effortlessly. Jobs, relationships, friendships – they all seem to come so easy to her, and Naomi resents that she didn't inherit that trait from her mum.

"That's great," she mumbles in reply, lifting her coffee and walking over to sit across from her at the table.

Her mum holds the paper a little closer, "Yeah, it looks promising. Listen to these."

As she starts to read through the ads Naomi studies her face, her eyes tracing the lines and curves, trying for the thousandth time to find something of herself mirrored in her mum's features. They don't look alike, not really, but if they stand next to each other it's not a stretch to assume that they're mother and daughter. Naomi has always resembled her father. She has his narrow nose and chin, but it's her eyes, her glacial blue eyes that are identical to his. She hates them. Hates eve more that people seem to admire them. Hates that she looks like him. Doesn't want to be reminded of him every time she glances at a mirror. Avoids them if she can.

She shakes the thoughts from her mind and focuses on her mum's rambling to distract herself.

"So I thought I'd try the pub," her mum continues, "I worked that bar in Dublin for a couple of weeks remember? That was fun...made some good tips too."

"Yeah...sounds perfect," she croaks out, holding her coffee mug with both hands for warmth.

Any job working with people is perfect for her mother. There's nothing physically remarkable about her, though she's by no stretch ugly, but people are constantly attracted to her. Everybody who meets her loves her, drawn to her contagious and effervescent energy. Feel compelled to make her their best friend as soon as they meet her. Naomi wishes she'd gotten that gene too.

"Yup, I told you," her mum announces, "this town is going to be good to us." She drops the paper again and winks at Naomi. "I like that red on your nails."

-x-

There's no introductory speeches or class bonding time in homeroom that morning, which Naomi is thankful for. Emily isn't there, which the blonde finds herself genuinely relieved by. She doesn't like not being in control, and for some reason Emily throws her off balance. Makes her feel like she's falling and Naomi hates that feeling. Freddie is there though, and he greets her with a warm smile before he takes his seat, looking back at her once quickly, making Naomi blush.

Kieran reluctantly reads off the morning's announcements in a gruff and annoyed manner, and then takes his seat, the noise level rising instantly.

Katie and Effy resume their engrossing discussion about whether or not Katie should go out on a date with some guy she met last weekend, while Pandora finishes off some homework she hadn't gotten through last night. Naomi pulls out her book and rests it open on the table, resumes from where she'd left off last night.

"Hey, what's that you're reading?"

She lifts her head at the sound of Freddie's voice and finds him swivelled around in his chair smiling at her. His brilliant and bright smile that makes her stomach flip and lips curl into a smile.

"Oh..er...Mrs Dalloway." She doesn't see any recognition in his eyes. "Virginia Woolf?"

He shrugs. "Never heard of it. Any good?"

"Yeah," she replies, caught between being embarrassed for being such a nerd and surprised that he hasn't heard of the book, "it's one of my favourites."

Freddie doesn't seem to care either way. "Cool. So hey, how did your first day go yesterday?"

He seems genuinely interested and again she questions it. She's never found herself particularly fascinating and can't imagine why anyone else would, but Freddie actually seems to think that she's worth getting to know. The thought lifts her heart a little higher, a warm feeling humming through her skin. And then she thinks about her answer to his question, her mind recalling her encounter in the library.

"It was fine," she says somewhat unconvincingly as she closes her book. "Everyone was really nice." She hears Cook laughing behind her and remembers him laughing with Emily about her. "Well, almost everyone."

"Don't worry about Emily," Freddie says quietly, seemingly reading her mind, his eyes sliding towards Katie to see if she'd overheard her twin's name. "She's..." his voice trails off and his brow furrows, "...like that. Don't take it personally."

And Naomi's not sure what she shouldn't take personally – Emily's antagonism or her possible flirting. Can't decide which would be worse. She thinks of the questions she has about the redhead that just keep piling up.

"Why doesn't she like you?" she blurts out, her curiosity getting the better of her.

She watches something pass across Freddie's face – guilt. But in an instant it's gone, his dazzling smile fixed back in place.

"Oh, you know," he answers with a casual shrug, "friends grow apart. Nothing interesting."

But Naomi is interested. More than she wants to be. She's about to ask one of the other dozen questions in her head when she hears Cook calling out behind her.

"Oi! Fredster, stop trying to dip your dick in Blondie. She doesn't want your baby cock."

He cracks up with laughter and thumps his hand onto the table, and much to Naomi's embarassment the comment seems to attract the attention of most of the class. Freddie rolls his eyes and shakes his head, swearing and lifting his hand to give Cook the finger, while Naomi shrinks into herself and keeps her eyes down at the table.

"Fucking hell Cook," Katie says exasperatedly, flicking her fringe out of her face as she turns to face him. "Could you be any more disgusting?"

Naomi smiles, surprised but thankful that Katie is sticking up for her.

"I can be as filthy as you like darlin'," Cook replies, wiggling his eyebrows and licking his lips.

"Urgh," Katie groans, her face contorted in disgust. "You are repulsive."

"You know you love me," he teases, moving his hand down to grab his crotch.

Katie turns in her seat, a wicked smile on her face, and Naomi senses that any playfulness in the exchange has evaporated, replaced with harsh glares and vicious tones.

"Nobody loves you Cook. _Nobody_. When was the last time you even saw your mum?"

Cook's smile doesn't falter as he chuckles. "Oh you're one to talk, _Katiekins_." He leans forward over his desk, a menacing glint in his eyes. "When was the last time Emily even stepped foot inside your house? Or you came to ours? Top fucking family you've got."

Panda gasps, and Naomi isn't sure what's just happened or what Cook is talking about, but suddenly the air has been sucked out of the room. She turns to Katie and watches as her face falls, her whole body deflating. She casts her eyes down but as they catch the light Naomi notices that they're glazed with tears.

"Shut the fuck up Cook." Effy glares at him, her usual disinterested tone hardened with a threatening edge.

"Yeah Cook," Pandora echoes, "just shut up."

But Cook continues to chuckle to himself silently, seemingly impressed with his efforts and nudging JJ to join him, but he just looks terrified of the death stare Effy's shooting them.

Katie turns back around in her seat as does Effy, whose hand reaches out to Katie's on the table. Naomi watches with a furrowed brow, trying to figure out what the hell just transpired and why Katie is so upset. Clearly something bad happened with Emily, and various scenarios play out in her head as a means to explain why Emily doesn't seem to see her family and lives with Cook, who also doesn't see his family, or at least his mum. There are a million questions caught in her throat, but she knows it's none of her business and definitely not the time.

She watches Effy whisper something to Katie, and Katie nods her head, sniffing and taking deep breaths. Panda and Freddie turn back to face the front as well, and Cook's laughter fades, a sombre mood settling between them all. Suddenly Naomi feels like an intruder, like she shouldn't have been witness to whatever that just was.

The bell goes shortly after and she collects her things and makes her way out of the room. Thinks that whatever happened with Emily must have been bad, and that maybe she doesn't want to know after all.

-x-

It's not until her last class of the day that she finally sees Emily. She'd looked for her at lunch, taking a quick glance around the cafeteria every so often while Katie and Effy squabbled about something or another, and kept an eye out for her in the corridors, but after a while she'd assumed that the redhead hadn't shown up that day.

So when Emily strolls into their politics class Naomi's a little surprised, then feels something else altogether in the pit of her stomach when the redhead winks at her. She's in jeans today, a skinny black pair that hug her hips tightly, and a green t-shirt. Coupled with her bright red hair it makes Naomi think of Christmas, which makes her think of her father, a knot tightening in her stomach as she does.

Emily walks through and takes a seat up in the back corner, Naomi watching the way she moves as she passes, powerful but smooth, and she thinks it's rather like a panther. Her eyes trail down to the redhead's hips landing on a sliver of skin is exposed on her right side where her t-shirt has ridden up, and Naomi notices a swirl of vivid colour. Blue, green, yellow, orange. Her eyes widen slightly with this new knowledge that Emily has a tattoo. She wants to know what it is. Wishes she was brave enough to just ask. Wants to know what Emily found so important she had to permanently mark herself with it.

She tries not to think about her during class, tries to keep her focus on what their teacher is saying, but she's hyper-aware that Emily is right behind her and she feels on edge. Her thoughts continue to drift to the redhead, and then to what happened this morning in home room. To the things Cook and Katie had said. Katie looked hurt, devastated, and Naomi assumes that Emily must have done something horrible to estrange herself from her family. Doesn't understand why anyone would do anything that might distance themselves from their loved ones like that. Especially when family is the only thing Naomi's really ever wanted.

The lesson is over before she knows it, and she makes her way out of class quickly, wanting to avoid any chance of interaction with Emily. Gets all the way back to her locker before she realises that she's left her copy of Mrs Dalloway on her desk and groans with annoyance at her own thoughtlessness. She packs her back and throws it over her shoulder, walks back toward the room through the crowded corridors, and then pauses at the side of the open door when she hears voices floating through.

"...honest I'm surprised you even came back after last year."

Naomi recognises the voice of their politics teacher Mr Watson, but his tone is different, more gentle. She's about to knock when she hears another voice she knows. Husky and teasing.

"Yeah, well. So am I," Emily replies flippantly. "But apparently the government will only support me if I show up to this shithole."

Naomi knows she shouldn't be eavesdropping but she can't make her legs move. Especially now that she knows Emily is in there. She feels her body tense and her heart race. Bites her lip and listens as Mr Watson sighs loudly.

"You and I both know you're smarter than this Emily."

The redhead scoffs but Mr Walker continues, his voice lowering, thick with concern.

"You don't need to let what happened define you."

They're both silent for a moment, and Naomi leans forward as close as she can without being seen, desperate to know what the hell is going on.

"Great. Fantastic," Emily replies finally, any humour banished from her voice leaving it tight and scathing. "You fixed me. Now is this fucking therapy session over?"

Naomi hears movement in the room and then footsteps coming towards her, panics and tries to make it look like she's just arriving. But she's thrown by what she just heard and not a good actress, so when Emily emerges from the classroom the redhead spots her instantly, takies a second to comprehend the situation and then glares at her with narrowed eyes.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she spits out, stepping closer and getting into Naomi's face. And despite the fact that Naomi is taller than her she feels intimidated by the redhead, wants to step back and make some space between them but she's flush up against the wall and Emily knows it. Seems to delight in making her squirm.

Much to her annoyance Naomi's body reacts to being so close to the redhead again as if it remembers what happened in the library yesterday, her heart quickening and her stomach swirling. Emily looks tired, defeated and weary, dark circles under her fierce brown eyes. Naomi can smell the faint trace of cigarette smoke on her but it's mixed with something else. Something fruity that the blonde decides she doesn't hate.

"You think you're some kind of fucking Nancy Drew?" Emily continues, stepping closer so that they're almost touching and making Naomi's breath hitch. "Lurking around the fucking corridors spying on people?"

The blonde's face pinches in anger because she doesn't deserve this, especially when Emily was the one who went snooping through her school file then teased her about the information she found. She straightens her back and lifts her head.

"You're the one who read _my_ file," she shoots back irritably, staring the redhead right in the eye and refusing to back down.

And just like that Emily's hard expression softens, her eyes widening and lips curling, the tension between them diffusing as she takes a step back.

Naomi is confused as hell. Thinks the redhead almost looks impressed.

"I have your book," Emily says amiably, as if the last few minutes hadn't actually occurred.

Naomi watches as she reaches into her bag and pulls her book out.

"I was going to give it back to you tomorrow morning," she shrugs and hands it over.

The blonde is dumbfounded and feels turned around, because Emily was pissed as hell with her a minute ago and now she's smiling and doing her a favour and actually acting nice.

"Er...th...thanks," she stutters as she takes the book.

She can feel Emily watching her as she tucks it into her bag, eventually lifts her head and meets her eye. Finds the redhead wearing a curious smile.

"You know that Clarissa is gay right?" Emily asks, referring to the main character of the book.

Naomi's eyes shoot up. Partly because Emily has read the book, and partly because something in the redhead's tone is asking far more.

"You...you've read it?"

"I _do _know how to read," Emily laughs, and Naomi realises her comment has been misinterpreted and starts to explain herself.

"No...I...I didn't mean..."

"Relax. I'm just kidding"

She smiles at Naomi and the blonde's own lips tug up into a nervous smile. She feels terribly stupid and self-conscious, like she's constantly playing catch-up in their conversations.

"Anyway, I better go," Emily says as she throws her bag back over her shoulder. "See you tomorrow."

She turns without waiting for Naomi's reply, but the blonde calls after her anyway.

"Okay...sure...bye."

The redhead keeps her back turned but waves her hand in the air, and Naomi cringes at how stupid she sounded.

"Fuck."

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**Gahh, I'm not really happy with this one...but it was driving me crazy and I thought I'd better post it before I started pulling my hair out and drinking heavily...next one will be better!**

**Also, did anyone spot the **_**really**_** minor Buffy reference? And a **_**very**_** subtle nod to another awesome and sadly missed British teen show? He he...let's see how awesome some of you are...**

**Now for the bad news – my dad has been quite sick for a while (lung cancer despite NEVER smoking...life is a real motherfucker like that) and he's really not doing well right now, which will affect me in either of two ways: I'll either be writing like crazy to distract myself...or I'll be so distracted by everything that updates might be a bit more sporadic...I know none of you want to hear this when I've just started this fic and I feel bad because you've all been so lovely about it, but yeah...the situation just sucks all round...but know that I am super excited and dedicated to this and will do my best :)**

**thanks and much love,**

**audrey**

**:)**

**review time now? :P**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for all being so lovely...I don't know if the well wishes will help but they certainly can't hurt right? So obviously at the moment I'm distracting myself with some Naomily drama...and also yelling at my boyfriend over everything...but thankfully he's lovely and understanding...I need to stop doing that...anyhoo, thanks again...**

**Oh, and yay to all you fellow Buffy geeks who spotted the sushi pyjamas reference, as well as the Sugar Rush one. When I was thinking about places Naomi and her mum have lived I instantly thought of Brighton, lol...Bonus points to HardestHearts for noticing the TWO Buffy references...(the snake in the library) I was being sneaky and only saying there was one :P Also, I know there are different views about Clarissa in Mrs Dalloway, so what Emily said is **_**her**_** opinion...anyway you should give it a read it's awesome!**

**I love how some of you are trying to guess what's up with Emily...you're all way off base...mwahahaha...it's so much fun to keep you all hanging! Oh, and just for clarification for this chapter – Freddie's mum is still alive and well...**

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The rest of the week passes in a blur as Naomi settles into life at Bristol College. Homeroom calms down for the most part, both groups keeping more to themselves, but still some antagonising comments fly between them occasionally. Mostly from Katie and Cook, things Naomi doesn't understand and that add to her general confusion about everything. Katie and Emily don't speak. Don't even look at each other. If they weren't twins Naomi would think they were strangers, and she can't really even think of them as sisters. Can't imagine them growing up together or sharing a room.

Emily sits up the back either laughing with Cook and JJ, or reading silently, completely absorbed in the book she has resting on the table, the jacket hidden from Naomi's curiosity. She ignores everyone else in the class, even Naomi, which frustrates the blonde because she thought that after their semi-friendly conversation Emily would continue to be friendly. But she doesn't speak to her, doesn't even look her way as far as Naomi can tell. The blonde finds herself looking for any excuse to turn her head to catch a glimpse of the redhead – from yawning and stretching her back to _accidentally_ dropping her pencil so that she can turn in her seat and slyly flick her eyes over to Emily.

Naomi doesn't even know why she's doing these things, why she is so interested, because she doesn't even like Emily. Could never imagine being her friend. The redhead is mean and intimidating and really bloody angry, and obviously did something to piss off everyone around her. She's everything that Naomi doesn't like. Arrogant and unkind. But still, she looks to see what Emily is wearing each day. Wants to know what book it is she's reading. Tries to overhear what the redhead is muttering to Cook and JJ.

Politics is the only class they share and it's much the same as homeroom. Emily isn't there on Friday, but when she actually does show up she sits at the back by herself, not interacting with anyone else in the room. Naomi's pretty sure the redhead actually falls asleep on Wednesday, but the teachers all seem to tolerate her behaviour, and the blonde can't understand why.

It all confuses the shit out of her.

As does Freddie continuing to flirt with her, which she finds herself starting to enjoy. Even relaxes enough to flirt back a couple of times in her bumbling way that he seems to find endearing. Her stomach never fails to flutter when he smiles at her, and on the one occasion that their skin has touched, when his hand accidentally grazed hers on the desk, she felt her skin burning, a heat radiating down her arm.

In homeroom he spends half his time turned around in his seat talking to her, asking her questions about her life and telling her about his. Mostly telling her about his. He strikes her as a little self-involved, but she actually doesn't mind it. Prefers that they talk about him and not her. When he asks about her family she gives a vague answer about it just being her and her mum and changes the subject quickly, distracting him with a question about his family, at which point he launches into a five minute speech about his parents and his sister. But he's kind and funny and obviously interested in her, which Naomi still struggles to believe, because he's also very cute and popular and from the flirty glances he gets could probably date any girl he wants.

She just can't understand why he wants her.

The girls playfully tease her about it, even Katie, who seems to have lightened up on the hatred she showed for Freddie on the first day. On Thursday they go for coffee after college, and as they fold themselves into the scattered armchairs the conversation inevitably turns to the subject of boys.

"So seriously Naomi," Katie asks, tucking her fringe behind her ear, "what's going on with you and Freddie?"

Naomi sips at her coffee and blushes, all eyes turning to her. The question makes her nervous, especially in front of Effy, now that she knows they used to date...or whatever it was they did, and her eyes slide over to the brunette.

Effy seems to read her mind. "Don't worry about me." She places her hand on Naomi's arm reassuringly. "Freddie and I didn't like..._date_, and it was almost a year ago now anyway."

Naomi is comforted by the fact that she hasn't pissed off her new friend, but the ball of anxiety tightens in her stomach knowing that in all likelihood Effy and Freddie were just fuck buddies or something, and her pulse races at the thought that he is so experienced and she...isn't. She's barely even been kissed, if you can call a shy peck on the lips from some boy she didn't even like when she was fifteen a kiss.

"I don't think he even likes me," she says modestly, shrugging her shoulders.

Katie snorts. "Of course he fucking does. He gets a semi when you walk into the fucking room."

Naomi's cheeks flush pink again while Katie and Effy giggle and Panda frowns in confusion. Thanks to an enlightening conversation when she was thirteen with her mother's sex-shop co-worker in Brighton, Naomi knows far too much about the subject of sex. Too much for someone who's never had it at least.

"A semi," Panda echoes with a question in her voice.

Effy giggles, then leans across and whispers something in Panda's ear, and the blonde's mouth drops, then curls into a smile.

"Blimey Naomi! He must _really_ like you."

Katie and Effy chuckle. Naomi finds herself laughing along nervously.

"And I think he's asked you if you're coming to his party what...like four times now?" Effy adds, resting back into her chair. "The boy's got it bad."

Naomi smiles bashfully at that, because it had almost been comical the amount of times he'd asked her about the party. There had been the initial invitation the first day they'd met when she'd agreed to go, and then every day since then he'd managed to weave it into the conversation, seeking confirmation from her time and time again that she will indeed be there. She thinks it's cute, that he's excited for her to be there, though she's not sure what will happen once she actually is.

"Well I'm hoping JJ will be there," Panda declares, before sipping on the straw in her iced chocolate.

"Oh he'll be there," Katie replies knowingly. "He follows Cook anywhere, and Cook never misses an opportunity to party."

Naomi instantly wonders if Emily is going to be there too, torn between hoping that she is and wishing that she isn't.

"Emily will probably be there too," Effy adds in answer to Naomi's silent question.

Naomi's eyes flick up instantly to find the brunette looking at her pointedly, a smirk playing on her lips, and the blonde feels her body tense. Thinks that maybe she hasn't been as subtle as she thought she was about the glances she throws Emily's way, or the expression on her face when she does.

She breaks eye contact with Effy and stares down at her coffee.

Katie groans, then waves her hand dismissively. "Whatever. The most important thing is that Thomas is going to be there, and I'll be looking hot."

Naomi smiles and nods along to the rest of the conversation but she's thrown by Effy's comment and the way she smiled at her knowingly. Wants to know why Effy smiled at her like that but she'd never dare ask. There are a lot of things she wants answers to, and as the discussion moves from one topic to another Naomi has to bite her tongue, constantly fighting the urge to ask question after question about Katie and Emily, and Emily and Freddie and why everyone seems to hate each other. But no one wants to talk about it, the conversation skirting around the subject, and Naomi knows that it's information she'll have to earn.

-x-

After the final bell on Friday Naomi makes her way to the library to return the books she'd borrowed earlier in the week and exchange them for others. It's a little routine she's developed over the years, giving her something to do during her usually eventless weekends. Even though her life seems to have changed since she's moved to Bristol - she's finally made friends and has been invited to a party later tonight - she still can't shake the habit that she's formed after years of having no social life. She finds comfort in the routine.

She slips the books carefully into the return slot, wincing every time she hears the dull thud of them hitting the bottom of the box underneath like trash, imagining their covers being bent and spines dinted. Books are her most favourite thing in the world and she treasures everything about them, can't stand to have them blemished in any way.

She makes her way back up to the rows of shelves, walking past them undecidedly, still unsure about what it is she wants to read. She walks between the bookcases, her finger running across the spines trying to figure out what she's after. She hates when she's in this mood, feels off balance and out of whack because she's nervous about the party.

Naomi's not completely naive – she knows from TV shows and movies and stories she's heard at her other schools what it's going to be like – alcohol, drugs and lots of sex - but she feels completely unprepared and inexperienced. She has no idea what she's going to wear, but thankfully Katie gave everyone a rundown on the outfit she's planning on wearing so Naomi at least knows what ballpark to shoot for.

She's nervous about Freddie too, and about what Freddie wants to happen between them. He does seem interested, a fact confirmed by Katie and Effy, but part of Naomi is still doubtful, still unwilling to believe that Freddie wants _her_, and she doesn't want to make a fool out of herself by assuming he does. She isn't sure what's going to happen, but over the years she's overheard stories from girls in her classes about things they've gotten up to at parties, and the idea of some of it makes Naomi blush. Still, she's comforted by the fact that Katie, Effy and Panda will be there too.

She walks through the fiction shelves without anything catching her eye, so she continues on to poetry section, her heart stopping and then thumping back to life a second later when she sees blazing red out of the corner of her eye.

Emily is the last person she expected to see, partly because she's sitting at the end of the poetry section and partly because the redhead wasn't in their afternoon politics class, and Naomi had assumed she'd ditched again. She's sitting with her back leant against the wall that closes off one end between the two bookcases, her legs stretched out in front of her and crossed at the ankles.

Naomi holds her breath as she peeks at Emily through the tiny gap between the top of the books and the shelf, worried that the redhead will _sense_ her or something equally ridiculous but nonetheless alarming. The first thing her eyes fall to is the book Emily is reading, and though she can't read the print on the front she doesn't need to, recognising the cover immediately – a collection of poems by e.e. cummings. She hasn't laid eyes on that book in years and her heart clenches in her chest as she registers what it is. Takes a deep calming breath and feels it loosen again. The scene surprises Naomi, mostly because she didn't think that Emily was the poetry reading kind of girl, but also because as far as poetry goes, Naomi would've assumed that Emily was more of an Edgar Allan Poe fan. It just adds to the enigma in her mind that is Emily Fitch.

Her eyes trail up to the redhead's face and she watches as Emily reads, eyes darting across the page and her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. She looks at peace, the furious whirl of energy that usually surrounds her seemingly gone, and Naomi prefers her this way. Thinks that if Emily was like this all the time they could be friends.

"I thought we established that neither of us like being spied on."

Naomi's breath catches in her throat as Emily's gaze flicks up to hers, her brown eyes narrow but not enraged. She looks more curious than anything else.

"No...I..." Naomi stutters, her heart beating wildly at being caught staring at her like some creepy stalker. "...I wasn't...I was just..."

Emily cocks an eyebrow expectantly and the blonde gives up on any kind of excuse. She figures she's already been found out so there's no use pretending and steps out from behind the bookshelf to the end of the isle that Emily's sitting in. Decides to go on the offensive.

"I think snooping through my file is worse than staring."

A sly smile spreads across Emily's face. "So you admit that you were staring."

_Shit_.

Naomi tries not to wince, while Emily's smile only grows wider.

The blonde shifts her balance on her feet and picks the red polish off her nails. Decides to change the subject.

"I wouldn't have picked that you like reading poetry."

"You know nothing about me. How would you have any idea what I like?"

There's a slight edge to Emily's voice, and Naomi feels herself panicking.

"I didn't mean..."

Her eyes meet the redhead's. It feels like Emily is looking right into her, and Naomi says something she never imagined she'd ever admit out loud again.

"My dad used to read me poetry before I went to sleep instead of fairytales."

She doesn't know why she says it, why she brings up her father with a virtual stranger, especially when she hasn't talked about him in years. Will rarely let herself even think about him.

She feels exposed, wants to run away but her legs won't move. Looks down at her shoes and suddenly they're not her dirty old sneakers, but polished black shoes with shiny silver buckles that reflect the light. And she's nine years old again, holding onto her mother's hand while an old bearded man in a robe talks about her dad and heaven and the ending of pain and a lot of other things she doesn't understand. People are crying everywhere around her and others are sniffing back tears. Her little hand is shaking, not of her own accord, but because the sobs that are wracking through her mum's body are vibrating through their joined hands and into her. She can feel it flowing through her body. Sorrow. Despair. But she doesn't cry. Won't let herself cry.

"Are you okay?"

A concerned voice finds her through the fog of memory and Naomi feels like she's being shoved back into her body. Her arms hang heavily at her sides and her legs feel like jelly. She lifts her head slowly and comes face to face with Emily, the redhead's brown eyes searching hers.

"Naomi?"

She blinks, her mouth unable to form words, but her brain incapable of ordering them even if she could speak right now. Her hands are clammy, and she can feel them shaking at her sides. Feel her pulse surging through her body. Emily is close to her, too close, and she shuffles backwards to put some space between them. Notices the redhead's furrowed brow and downturned mouth and it strikes her that Emily looks genuinely concerned.

But she doesn't want it, she doesn't want anyone looking at her like that and seeing her like this. Doesn't want to feel the way she does right now. So she turns around and forces her legs forward, walking so quickly that she practically runs out of there, her bag bouncing up and down against her back. She's thankful that Emily doesn't follow, and if the redhead calls after her Naomi doesn't hear, her thumping heart the only thing she can.

She doesn't slow down until she's well clear of the college, leaning against a fence down a side street on the way back to her house. She sucks in mouthfuls of air and feels her lungs burn. She feels like she's drowning, like she opened something she swore she never would and now it's trying to pull her down with it.

After a couple of minutes her heart starts to slow and her breathing evens out, the shaky feeling in her legs fading. She hasn't spoken about her dad in years, almost half her life, refuses to even think about him. She has no idea why talking to Emily had made her say what she did, but Naomi had seen something in those brown eyes that pulled the words from the place she had hidden them.

She doesn't want to think about any of it anymore. Shakes her head and starts to walk slowly, concentrates on moving one foot in front of the other, counting her steps to distract herself. It takes 478 steps to get back to her house, but her hands are still shaking slightly as she pushes her key into the front door and unlocks it.

The feel of home is an instant comfort, and she exhales a long breath before moving through the house to her room. She passes the kitchen on her way and glances in, notices a scribbled piece of paper on the table with a £10 note, doesn't need to read it to know what it says, but she lifts it and scans the page anyway.

_**Working a late shift tonight – probably won't be home until the early morning. Money for dinner. Have fun at the party.**_

She sighs. Not feeling much like going to the party now. But then she thinks of her new friends, of Katie and Effy and Panda, and how excited they are for the party and that she's coming. Thinks of Freddie and how nice his smile is and how much he wants her to go. Decides that she will, because if she stays home she'll spend the whole night thinking about what happened in the library and that's the last thing she wants. Needs a distraction.

Thinks that Freddie might be the perfect one.

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**Oh Naoms...I love that all of you keep saying how intrigued by Emily you are but nobody seems to wonder about Naomi *evil grin***

**Next chapter – the EPIC drama of the party...oooh, the whole group together under one roof with alcohol flowing...it's gonna get messy folks...**

**Hope you enjoyed...review if you would be so kind...they make me smile...**

**:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks so much guys...glad you are all enjoying it! I don't have much time so I thought that rather than reply to you all I'd give you a new chapter instead...**

**Oh dude...reaching into the not-too-distant past of my party-filled adolescence to write these chapters was probably not a good idea...there's a reason you try to forget the stupid things you do at parties as a teenager *cringes* at least I've completely blacked out the really shameful stuff...er...mostly...thank god youtube wasn't around back then, lol...**

**Now, just be aware that this is part 1 of the party...because I'm a bitch like that :P **

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Naomi stands in the middle of her room in her underwear, her entire wardrobe scattered on the floor around her. She's spent the last hour trying on every top and skirt and singlet and dress and jacket that she owns in different combinations, eventually coming to the conclusion that nothing is cool enough for the party. All of her clothes are sensible and plain; white, black, grey or other muted colours, and most of them hang loosely from her slim frame, because even though she lost her puppy fat years ago she still feels shy about her body. Doesn't usually want to wear anything that draws any attention to it. But tonight she's feeling bold and wants to make a good impression, doesn't want to look like a loser at the party.

She kicks the clothes around her feet, walking out of her room and into her mother's. She hates herself a little for it, but she slides open the wardrobe and thumbs through the clothes.

Her mother dresses more like a teenager than she does, which Naomi has always found slightly pathetic and embarrassing on both their behalf. She has always been mortified by the low-cut tops, short skirts and tight pants that her mum wears, cringing in embarrassment whenever they are out in public together. Her mum is always complaining about Naomi's clothes and suggesting that they go shopping together, but the blonde would sooner die. Can imagine her mother pulling out some leopard print bodysuit or something equally hideous. It hasn't always been like this, and Naomi constantly wishes everything could go back to the way it was before. Knows that that's impossible.

She examines everything in the wardrobe one by one, sliding the hangers across and dismissing most things as gaudy and slutty, then pauses when she sees a cute black dress. She pulls it out of the wardrobe and holds it up in front of herself, surprised to find something this elegant and simple in her mother's wardrobe. Turns it around just to make sure that the back isn't panelled with animal print or anything more suited to her mother's fashion tastes. But it's just a classic black dress, with a not-too-deep v-neckline and a cinched in waist, just short enough to be fun and flirty but not slutty.

She pulls it off the hanger and slips it over her head, then does up the zip at the side. It fits well, perfect actually, the material sitting snugly around her chest and skimming across her hips. She can't imagine her mother wearing it, her bust quite a bit bigger and her hips a little wider. Although something being too tight has never stopped her mother before.

She shuffles over to the full-length mirror next to the wardrobe and stands close enough so that only her body is reflected and not her face. Peers into it and immediately notices how much bigger her boobs look, the dress pushing them together and up. Even though she knows she's alone in the house she instinctively crosses her arms over her chest, feeling exposed, even just to herself. She stares at the reflection for a minute, her arms eventually slipping back down to her sides. Admits to herself that the dress actually does looks rather nice on her.

She lifts her arm and checks her watch, panicking when she realises that the girls will be at her place to pick her up in little over half an hour and she still needs to finish getting ready. When she'd given them her address the girls realised that Naomi lived less than a ten minute walk from Freddie's, so they'd decided they'd meet at her house and leave together.

She skips out of her mother's room quickly and back into her own, moving through to her small en suite and flicking the light on. Standing in front of the mirror she tries not to meet her own eyes in her reflection as she decides what to do with her hair. It had dried into its natural loose waves, but she decides she wants it sleek and straight, and flicks the button on her straightener. While it heats up she searches through the little bag of make-up that she has. She doesn't usually wear any so she doesn't have much, just a motley collection of half-used eyeliner pencils, eyeshadows, blush and mascara that her mum has given to her over the years. She pulls out the mascara wand and brushes it over her lashes, wincing when she pokes herself in the eye. She grabs a tissue and mops up the tears, then decides to give her eye a chance to recover and carries on doing her hair. After that some eyeliner, which she can never get straight, and then some dark eyeshadow.

She steps back and examines her reflection in the mirror, a confident smile sneaking onto her face when she realises that she actually looks quite nice, even pretty. She doesn't dwell on it though, a knock at the door drawing her attention. She moves quickly through her room, reaching for her grey cardigan in the mess of clothes, deciding to wear it to cover herself up just a little more. She slips her feet into her black flats and makes her way to the front door, the noise of the girls outside growing as she nears it.

"Hi guys," she greets them as she opens the door, a cool gust of wind hitting her.

"Jeez Naomi," Katie exclaims with her eyebrows raised, "You've really got the girls out tonight haven't you? Who knew you even had those." She looks down at her own ample cleavage. "Giving me a run for my money."

"Wizzer," Panda adds.

Naomi smiles nervously and subconsciously crosses her arms over her chest.

"That's their way of saying 'hello, you look nice'," Effy adds with a sly smile.

Katie rolls her eyes and waves her hand dismissively. "Yeah yeah we all look hot, but we won't for much longer if we keep standing out in the cold."

Naomi gets the hint and steps to the side to allow the three of them in, then leads them into the kitchen, the four of them congregating around the bench.

"Pre-party drinks?" Effy suggests as she lifts the bottle of vodka in her hand that Naomi hadn't even noticed.

"Fuck yes," Katie replies and Naomi reaches for some glasses.

Effy pours the drinks and they each grab one, the other three throwing them back quickly while Naomi watches. She brings the glass to her lips hesitantly, then figures _what the fuck_, and throws it down her throat, coughing and sputtering as she feels it burn all the way down to her stomach.

"Bit of a lightweight huh?" Effy asks as she pours them all another one.

Naomi carefully wipes the tears out of the corner of her eye and smiles guiltily.

Effy smirks. "We'll fix that."

They have another three shots in rapid succession and Naomi already starts to feel a little warm and woozy. But she doesn't want to slow down, determined to have fun tonight, even if it means waking up with the hangover of the century. She's only been drunk and hangover once, when she'd hung out with her next-door neighbour in their apartment complex Melbourne.

Her name was Chelsea and she was a uni student, living with her boyfriend who seemed to work all the time, both in their early twenties. Chelsea was always friendly to Naomi whenever their paths crossed, and Naomi liked talking to her, liked the way she smiled at her genuinely. Chelsea was beautiful and fun and outgoing, and Naomi liked being around someone like that, as if some of it rubbed off on her somehow. One sunny spring afternoon Naomi had been sitting in the courtyard reading when Chelsea had wondered down complaining how bored she was. They started chatting and Chelsea suggested they take the party up to her apartment and have a drink, so they spent the rest of the evening drinking beer after beer, the conversation degenerating as they got increasingly drunk. They'd woken up the next morning in a heap on the couch, Naomi startled to find her head resting on Chelsea's chest and the other girl's arm draped over her shoulder. Chelsea had laughed it off and said they should do it again sometime, but Naomi avoided her after that. Ducked around corners when she saw her coming and kept the conversation brief when they did bump into each other. Told herself that she felt that way because she was embarrassed about getting drunk and making a fool out of herself.

She doesn't seem to have that problem tonight.

Katie erupts in laughter next to her from something that Panda said that Naomi missed, and the brunette pulls her phone out of the pocket of her high-waisted skirt.

"Alright bitches, the party should be getting interesting by now. Let's go."

Naomi grabs her bag and keys and follows the girls out the door before locking it behind her. The night air is chilly and she slips her arms into her cardigan. Effy lights a cigarette and offers the pack to her but she declines with a shake of her head. She smoked once in her life, coughing up a lung when she did, the burning in her throat lasting for hours. She wasn't a fan.

Katie falls into step beside her and loops her arm through hers. "Okay Naomi, since you're going to be partying with us I'm going to let you know about some of the...rules we have."

"Rules?" Naomi echoes and watches Effy roll her eyes.

"Enough with the "rules"," Effy says making air quotes with her fingers. "We don't need rules."

"Ah, yes we do," Katie replies emphatically. "We do if we don't want a repeat of the stomach pumping episode at Hamish McLean's sixteenth birthday party."

Effy shakes her head as Panda leans closer to Naomi and explains, her voice low.

"Effy took something super nasty and Katie found her passed out in her own sick. It was whacker bad. Eff wouldn't wake up and Katie was crying."

Naomi notices the darkness that clouds Katie's eyes for a moment. Thinks that it's nice that Katie is so protective over her friends. Makes her feel special that the brunette is protective over her now too. She wouldn't have thought that Katie was like this when she first met her, but this past few days she's noticed the way the brunette is always looking out for her friends. Will always have an extra pen with her because Panda always forgets hers. Chastises Effy for smoking because she doesn't want her best friend dying. Calls for them all to look both ways before they cross the road. It makes the situation between Katie and Emily all the more confusing for Naomi.

"Anyway," Katie continues, her eyes bright again, "they're more like guidelines really, to ensure that none of us get arrested."

Again she looks pointedly at Effy, and Naomi's curiosity is piqued, but Katie moves on before the blonde gets an explanation.

"Firstly, if one of us leaves our bag with you don't walk off. I don't care how distracting the boy is."

Naomi nods because it makes sense but she hears Effy sigh.

"Secondly, don't take drugs from a stranger. Eff and I have plenty of pills and a few spliffs if you need anything."

Naomi blinks. She'd never taken anything stronger than a couple of painkillers and hadn't been planning on it.

"Thirdly, if you leave the party for whatever reason try and tell one of us." She winces. "We don't need anyone calling the police."

"Well how was I supposed to know you hadn't been kidnapped," Panda whines but Katie waves her off.

"And lastly and _most importantly_, if you go into a room with a guy to do anything involving the removal of underwear, make sure the door is _locked_." She stares at Effy self-righteously. "Because someone might go looking for you and see things they shouldn't."

Effy throws her arms up into the air in frustration. "Everything's always my fault."

Katie scoffs. "Well some of us have seen things that we never _ever _wanted to see. Things that are burned into our brains."

"I thought the door was locked!"

There's a tense silence for a moment, but then the girls erupt in a fit of giggles, and Naomi laughs along too. Enjoying being a part of this little friendship spat.

Effy links arms with Panda to mirror Naomi and Katie, and the four of them continue walking and giggling about silly things, the alcohol definitely starting to affect the blonde. She feels warm despite the cool weather, and there's a goofy grin on her face.

The music is loud enough to hear from the end of Freddie's street, punctuated by the occasional booming voice of a fellow partygoer. As they get closer and the music gets louder the reality of the situation hits Naomi. They're going to a party at Freddie's house. Freddie who might like her. Who she might like. And she's wearing this tight dress. Emily could be there too, and the blonde remembers what happened in the library earlier that day and suddenly she's incredibly anxious. But Katie keeps her moving forward and she tries to suppress her nerves.

When they step through the front door Naomi feels as if she's stepped into another world. Like she's fallen through the rabbit hole or walked through to the other side of the wardrobe or any other fantastical scenario she's read about in her favourite books. The scene before her is loud and chaotic, rooms full of people and hazy with smoke, the thunderous bass of the music vibrating through everything and everyone, so heavy Naomi can feel it in her chest. Thumping in time with her quickened heart. She feels painfully self-conscious, suddenly regretting choosing to wear the dress. Pulls her cardigan closed across her.

She glances around quickly, her eyes darting from one thing to another. A guy smoking a joint on the couch. Two girls dancing and giggling. A couple making out against the wall. Some of the people around her she recognises from college and some of them she's never seen. It's sensory overload and Naomi blinks rapidly as she takes a minute to take it all in. But the moment doesn't last long and suddenly she's being thrust into the chaos, pulled along by Katie, who as usual is walking through the crowd as if the people are parting for her. The four of them end up huddled in a corner with some people from college that Naomi recognises, talking loudly about nothing in particular. She's grateful when Effy passes her the vodka bottle and takes three big mouthfuls, wincing as she feels it burn.

After a few minutes she hears her name being called faintly over the music, then a tug on her elbow and she turns around.

Freddie.

Freddie with his brilliant smile.

Freddie looking very cute in some faded jeans and a polo, his hair falling over his forehead.

"Naomi, I'm glad you came." His eyes trail up and down her body. "Wow, you look...beautiful."

She doesn't know if it's that smile and sparkling eyes, or the alcohol, or the fact that he's the first person that's ever called her beautiful, but suddenly Naomi's stomach is fluttering like someone's let loose a million butterflies in there and it feels wonderful.

She smiles bashfully and opens her mouth to thank him but some guy calls out his name, and Freddie turns and nods at him.

"Shit, I've gotta go help my mate with something."

Naomi notices that he looks genuinely annoyed at having to leave the conversation.

"I'll come find you soon yeah?"

She nods, then returns his smile, watching as he turns and walks back through the crowd. Her eyes fall on Katie a moment later as she turns back to her friends, the brunette smirking at her, and Naomi is thankful that the dim light makes it hard to see she's blushing. Not that Katie can't tell.

"Right Naomi," she says playfully, "he doesn't like you at all."

-x-

An hour or so later Naomi is wondering through the rooms trying to find the bathroom, squeezing past people and getting knocked into by others. She left Katie flirting with Thomas in the kitchen and Panda talking to a friend, Effy having wandered off a while ago with some cute boy. She's seen Freddie once or twice since he'd come over, always engaged in conversation and throwing her an apologetic look. She hopes that he finds her soon, the alcohol emboldening her.

She's stumbling slightly, the effects of too much vodka, and turns to walk down a hallway, stops dead in her tracks when she sees that familiar shade of red, her stomach dropping to the floor.

Emily.

Emily in a skirt and tights and a singlet top.

Emily pushed up against some girl and kissing her furiously.

Emily holding that slutty girl's thigh up around her hip and grinding into her.

Naomi doesn't know if the girl is actually a slut, doesn't know her at all, all she knows is that she hates her. Feels the urge to pull the redhead off her.

She stands there unable to move, watching as Emily dips her head and kisses the girl's collarbone, the girl's head lolling back against the wall, her eyes closed tight. Studies the way the muscles at the back of Emily's shoulder move under her smooth exposed skin. Feels her chest tighten. Her breath shorten. An ache low in her stomach like she's never felt before. She's transfixed by the sight, cannot even blink. Blames the alcohol. Blames it for making all her feelings wrong and everything in her head turned around.

Someone stumbles into her from behind and she's snapped out of her daze, finally able to move her body again. Finally able to breath again. She moves as quickly as her shaky legs can carry her, pushing past anyone in her way until she's outside in the backyard, swallowing mouthfuls of air. Finds the bitter cold soothing as it hits her face and travels to her lungs.

"Hey, are you okay?"

She turns at the sound of the familiar voice, finds Freddie's concerned eyes.

"Yeah...just got a bit hot in there."

Freddie nods, then moves to stand beside her, both of them looking out into the yard. They stand in silence for a minute, which Naomi is glad for. Taking the time to even out her breathing and calm her heart. It's quieter out there, most of the revellers choosing to avoid the chilly autumn night and stay inside. Still, there are a few people scattered about, none that Naomi recognises.

"Sorry I've been a bit distracted all night," Freddie says softly, brushing his hair away from his face. "Duties of the host and all."

He turns to her and smiles, and once again Naomi is hit with how attractive he is, with his dark silky hair falling around his face, his warm but playful dark eyes and honest smile, his olive skin. Then she remembers that he called her beautiful and blushes, and she's acute aware of the alcohol warming through her body.

"It's a good party," she manages to say.

Freddie shrugs. "It's become a tradition because my parents are always away this weekend every year visiting family. I'm kind of over it though."

The comment surprises Naomi because from what she's heard he likes a party. Wonders if he's lying or if what she was told wasn't true.

"The cleanup is always such a bitch," he adds, and she thinks that he meant not liking parties at his own house which makes a lot more sense.

"Are you having fun?" he asks her and Naomi stares back at him blankly for a moment, not sure if she should tell him the truth or not, the alcohol slowing the whole decision making process. She wants to say that she's feeling overwhelmed by everything, the amount of people and the noise and the vodka and Emily and now the way that his eyes are constantly falling to her lips and cleavage, and that she feels incredibly out of place. That watching all these people drinking too much and smoking too much and taking too many drugs is actually rather depressing, because they're chasing something that doesn't exist, and in the morning they'll just feel worse because they couldn't catch something that's not even really there. She'd rather be at home reading.

But she decides to lie, mustering as much forced enthusiasm as she can.

"Yeah, it's great."

It must sound sincere because he smiles at her again, moves closer so that their arms are touching, and she can feel the warmth of him through her cardigan.

"What's in there?" she asks to distract herself, pointing to the shed at the bottom of the yard.

Freddie's eyes linger on her a second longer, before following her eye line.

"Ah, that's my shed," he explains, "my little island away from the chaos in my house."

Naomi immediately wants to know what's inside. Wants to know what's important enough to Freddie to have a place in there. Her curiosity indulged when he asks if she wants to see it.

He leads her down the path and in the dim light she trips, his strong arm reaching out and steadying her. And then they're holding hands, and Naomi likes the feel of his warm hand wrapped firmly around hers.

He pulls the door open and the first thing Naomi notices is the musty smell, but it's not too bad. He flicks on the lights and she blinks as her eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. She looks up and Freddie is standing in the middle of the room, his arms out at his sides.

"So this is the famous shed," he announces proudly, then drops his hands to his sides. "Not many people get to see inside here."

Naomi smiles, pleased that she's been allowed into his sanctum, then glances around the room.

It's bigger than it looks from the outside but it's crowded with stuff, things that seem to have been accumulated over the years. The area is filled mostly with an old mismatched couch and a couple of armchairs, a milk carton with a piece of wood on top serving as a table between them. About ten different skateboard decks line one wall, the other barely visible beneath a mass of posters. The other stuff is just junk, an old radio and bike and lawn chair, and Naomi finds it all very anti-climactic. It's just a typical boys shed. Nothing soul revealing in there.

Her eyes scan the wall of posters; band logos and half naked girls, but then she sees something that draws her attention, a photo pinned to the wall with a thumbtack. It looks like a photo of Freddie and Katie, but as she moves closer to examine it she realises that it's actually Emily. A brunette and young looking Emily, probably about fourteen. She and Freddie are laughing and he has his arm around her shoulders, their temples pressed together. It makes Naomi wonder if they ever dated, maybe before Emily realised she was gay. The thought doesn't sit well and she pushes it aside.

Freddie notices her staring and comes to stand beside her.

"We used to be best friends," he explains, and Naomi can hear the regret in his voice.

"What happened?"

He takes a long moment to answer, shrugging his shoulders as he does. "Just grew apart I guess."

But Naomi knows that isn't the full story, can hear it in his voice, but it's obvious he doesn't want to talk about it so she lets it go.

"You do look really beautiful tonight," Freddie says softly.

Naomi can feel him looking at her, and suddenly she can feel _everything_, the thumping of her heart and the tightness in her chest. The closeness of his body to hers and the crackling tension between them. The thousands of butterflies let loose in her stomach.

She turns to face him slowly and encouraged he takes a step closer, his gaze flicking from her eyes down to her lips and back again and Naomi knows she's about to be kissed. Trapped somewhere between wanting it and wanting to run out of the shed. But as Freddie leans down to her she knows that she's made her decision, closing her eyes and licking her lips seconds before she feels him brush his against hers, once, twice, his lips rough but gentle at the same time. She has no idea what she's doing, but as she feels his tongue slide across her lips she opens them, gasping slightly when his tongue slides into her mouth. She tries to mirror what Freddie is doing, tries not to think about how she's probably doing it all wrong, but he doesn't seem to mind, placing both hands on her hips as she rests hers on his chest.

When they break apart for air a minute later Naomi is almost panting, her eyes still closed. Freddie rests his forehead against hers for a moment, before pulling away, and Naomi finally opens her eyes. Their hands remain where they are and she can feel his heart beating wildly beneath her hand, looks up to find his dark eyes gazing at her intensely, a smile dancing on his lips.

She thinks that as far as first kisses go that one wasn't too bad at all.

.

.

* * *

**I know...you all hate me right now...but like I said...this is only part 1 :P**

**Also, I really urge you to listen to an awesome song called 'Plans' by the brilliant Aussie band Birds of Tokyo...it's a massive inspiration for this story...and might hold a few clues...just because I'm so enjoying messing with you all :P**

**As always reviews appreciated...I love hearing what you all think about what's going on!**

**:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry peeps! I really didn't mean to keep you hanging so long and I was hoping to have this up Friday night, but a quick drink after work turned into me getting poured into a taxi at 3am...then we had our Federal election Saturday and I'm kind of a politics geek ( that's right, I'm a complex and contradictory young woman :P ) so I was occupied all night watching politicians talk shit...my friends and I played a drinking game where every time one party talked smack about the other we'd take a drink...we had to stop playing because there was a real threat of alcohol poisoning...**

**Anyways, as always I very much appreciate hearing what you think, and I don't want to sound like a dick, but to those of you wanting things to go faster between Naomily I sincerely suggest you go read another story or come back when this one is finished...no hard feelings...because you're not going to find out Emily's secret for a while yet, and there are more to come...I like to reveal things about the characters gradually...but I warned you at the start! :P Most of you seem to get what I'm doing though, so that's good...**

**Some of you are bummed that her first kiss was with Freddie, but I think you'll understand why I did that after this chapter...and I know what you were all thinking reading that last chapter – this can't be a party without Cook! :P**

* * *

.

.

"Naomi fuck!" Katie yells at her, grabbing her hand enthusiastically and pulling her closer, her pupils wide and grinning excitedly. "Where the fuck did you disappear to? You were gone for fucking ages."

Naomi thinks about where she's been and what she's been doing and feels her stomach flip again. Her face flushes with heat. After their kiss Freddie had asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. She'd been a little stunned and very much flattered, and tried not to yell yes too quickly. It wasn't the first time a boy had ever asked her out on a date, but it was the first time she'd wanted to say yes. They'd kissed again briefly, interrupted when his phone had gone off with a message from one of his friends inside the house. Apparently some guy had turned over a table and used it as a sleigh down the stairs, making it to be bottom successfully but then crashed into something and cracked his head open.

In truth Naomi was glad for the interruption, uncertain of where things had been heading with Freddie in the shed and unsure of exactly what she wanted to happen. She likes Freddie. He's sweet and funny and charming and very cute, and he makes her smile. Makes her feel like she's someone important. He might not be the smartest boy she's ever met, and they might not have a lot in common, but she likes the way he makes her feel. The way he smiles at her.

The kiss and the promise of a date is enough for now.

"I made out with Freddie," she blurts out to Katie, smiling proudly as she listens to herself say the words. Partly because of the fact that she actually made out with Freddie, and partly because for the first time in her life she's talking about kissing boys with a friend.

Katie's eyes widen. "Slut," she laughs, pushing Naomi's arm playfully. "You pretend to be all innocent but you're just like the rest of us."

Naomi grins, happy to be thought of as just like Katie and Effy and even Panda. Enjoys the warm and pleasant swirly feeling in her stomach that's been there since Freddie kissed her.

"I mean I don't like Freddie," Katie continues, her arms waving about carelessly, "but you could do worse." She turns her head at the sound of a guy vomiting in the corner and scrunches her face in disgust. "Like him."

Katie passes her drink over to Naomi, and the blonde takes it, doesn't even ask what the pinkish-red liquid is before she leans her head back and throws down the remaining three-quarters of the cup in one go.

Katie claps quickly and cheers and Naomi doesn't even feel it burning this time, her throat immune to the pain after so many drinks. She doesn't know how many she's had, lost count after five or six, but her head has been foggy for a while now, her body feeling light and free.

Katie tugs on her arm. "I'm going to look for Thomas," she slurs at Naomi, "I'm feeling kinda slutty too."

She tries to wink at the blonde but doesn't quite pull it off. Ends up closing both eyes and losing her balance, gripping tighter onto Naomi's arm to stay upright, almost pulling the blonde down in the process.

Katie swears and Naomi giggles, the two of them ending up in some kind of accidental hug, laughing breathlessly.

Some guy Naomi has never seen walks by them and pauses, a delighted grin lighting up his face. "Fuck yeah! Please tell me you two are going to make out."

Naomi freezes, her smile fading as her mood sobers instantly. She drops her arms from around Katie and straightens up, but the brunette is still laughing, seemingly unfazed by the comment.

"Yeah, you wish," she grins, waving him off, then patting her hair down and pushing up her breasts in her top. "Alright, off to find Thomas."

The blonde smiles tightly and watches her go, Katie walking a little unsteadily out of the lounge.

Naomi tries to reclaim her good mood, but glancing around the room quickly she's suddenly aware of the fact that she's standing there alone and doesn't really know anyone around her. She recognises a couple of people from her classes but doesn't feel confident enough to approach them. She shifts from one foot to the other awkwardly, trying to decide what to do and in the meantime feeling like a loser. Looks around for Freddie but can't see him. She doesn't want to follow Katie because she's not particularly interested in watching her friend fawn all over Thomas, Effy hasn't been seen in hours and Panda is sitting on a couch talking to JJ. Naomi knows that she could probably go over and sit with Panda, but that would mean talking to JJ, and though the boy seems nice, conversation with him at the moment would be a bit too difficult, considering she can barely keep up with people who don't talk a million miles an hour. That, and the fact that he makes her think of Emily. And she doesn't want to think about Emily. Particularly when she's drunk. Especially when she's just kissed Freddie.

She's saved from standing there awkwardly for even longer than she has been by the sudden need for the toilet. She still hasn't gone from when she'd needed to go before, but her body had seemed to forget about it until this very moment. The image of Emily pushing that girl up against the wall flashes through her mind, and she remembers why she never made it to the bathroom the first time. Decides to venture upstairs and see if there's a bathroom up there, just in case Emily is still there with that slut.

She makes her way through the mess of people, her eyes flicking around the room curiously. A guy and a girl are snorting lines of white powder off the coffee table, and Naomi has seen enough movies to know what the powder is, watches as the two of them then relax back into the couch and practically attack each other with a kiss. There are a few girls shrieking with laughter and dancing to her right, and they look like they've had far too much of something, their arms and legs flailing about as if they aren't connected to their bodies. Two guys in the far corner making out. There are people everywhere, dancing and drinking and talking and laughing and kissing, but Naomi still feels alone. Still feels out of place. Feels like she needs another drink.

At the bottom of the stairs she feels someone tug on her wrist, shrugs her hand away and turns around to face them.

"Naomikins! Where the fuck you been?"

She squints in confusion. Doesn't understand why Cook is talking to her like they're friends despite never having so much as spoken to each other. Takes her another second to notice the mass of bandaids on his forehead.

"What the fuck happened to your head?"

He throws his head back and chuckles almost silently, laughing much more than Naomi thought the comment warranted, which was none.

"I thought I'd try and surf down the stairs," he explains, holding his arms out and mimicking a surfing posture. "Didn't work out so well though. Smashed me fucking head into some cabinet and bled all over the fucking carpet..."

She laughs then, remembers the text message that Freddie got and thinks in a roundabout way she should thank Cook for interrupting them before anything got too serious.

"...little party gift for Freddie."

It's then that her foggy mind remembers that Cook hates Freddie. And with Cook as off his face as he appears to be Naomi takes the opportunity to get some answers to her questions.

"Why don't you two like each other?"

She keeps her voice light and casual, as if she's not desperate to know the answer and hasn't been thinking about it all week.

But Cook ignores her. Simply looks her up and down, his eyes circling wide.

"Fuck! You look hot."

He leers at her as if he's just now seen her for the first time that night, his eyes lingering on her cleavage, and Naomi realises what he's doing and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Er...thanks," she says shyly.

She regrets the words instantly because Cook interprets them as encouragement, sidling up next to her and throwing his arm around her shoulders with a smirk.

He leans close to her ear. "You. Me. Willy-waggle. What you reckon?"

His breath is harsh and loud in her ear, and he smells of sweat and alcohol and antiseptic and it makes Naomi's stomach turn in an altogether different and unpleasant way to how it has been since Freddie kissed her. She scrunches her nose and shrugs his arm off her shoulder, stepping away from him.

He staggers backwards and laughs, unfazed by her rebuff. "Oh come on Blondie! Show the Cookie Monster some love."

"No thanks Cook," she says firmly because he doesn't seem to be getting the message. Holds her arm up between them.

"Don't tell me you're saving it all for Funsponge?"

Naomi frowns in confusion, her mind drawing a blank on the name. "What's Funsponge?"

Cook chuckles again, and she's starting to get annoyed at being laughed at all the time, especially when she's the only one making any sense.

"Freddie," Cook says leaning against the wall for support, "is a fucking funsponge. Boring as fuck. He can't even have fun at his own party."

He throws her a self-righteous glare with his eyebrows raised and Naomi silently disagrees with him. Thinks that Freddie seemed to be having fun with her in the shed. But she's not going to divulge that to Cook. She does, however, see another opportunity to ask about Freddie and Emily again.

"Why don't you like Freddie?"

"Because he's a _funsponge_," Cook replies, punctuating the last word by punching his fist in the air, the swift motion causing him to fall back harder against the wall and swear.

Undeterred, Naomi presses on, fighting through the cloud in her head.

"But he used to be best friends with Emily. Why do they hate each other?"

"No no no," Cook shakes his head and wiggles his finger in her face. "You've got it all wrong. Emily hates Freddie. He aint got no reason to hate her. He's the one who fucked her over aint he...plus, he's a fucking funsponge."

Naomi sighs. She knows she's not going to get anything out of Cook besides the word funsponge over and over again, and the way he's running his eyes over every inch of her body makes her feel like she needs to shower.

"Well thanks Cook," she says with a forced smile, "but I have to..."

She tries to think of a reasonable excuse, but her mind isn't working that fast at that moment.

"...go away from you now."

He laughs at her again and again she has no idea why. Doesn't really care though because he doesn't seem to be troubled by the fact that she's slowly backing away up the stairs. After a couple of steps she turns her back to him, but hears him call after her.

"Have fun upstairs Blondie."

His comment causes her to pause momentarily, something about his tone confusing her, as if he knows something she doesn't. She keeps moving though, concentrating on lifting one foot after the other and not falling down the stairs.

She makes it to the top and gives herself a moment to get her bearings, glancing around and looking for the likeliest looking door. Which is difficult because they all look the same. Two giggling girls brush past her on their way down the stairs and Naomi steps to the right, deciding she may as well check that side of the house first.

The first door is open so Naomi pokes her head inside, finds a few partygoers sitting on the floor passing around a joint. She doesn't recognise any of them but one of the girls notices her, smiles and motions with their head for her to join them, but Naomi shakes her head and backs away.

She reaches out to the handle on the next door and twists it. Finds the door locked. Twists it again a few times just to make sure. She remembers Katie's rules and thinks that maybe someone is in there, then briefly wonders if maybe it's Effy or Katie or Panda. The image of one of them in there with someone is something she doesn't want to have and she pushes it out of her mind quickly. Not that much is actually staying in there at the moment. Not that she wants most of what she's seen tonight to stay with her.

She moves onto the next door, feeling a bit like she's playing a silly game of some sort. Feels a bit like Alice again when she's fallen to the bottom of the hole, surrounded by different doors.

She opens it and finds it completely dark except for the light shining in through the now open doorway, illuminating a guy and a girl on the bed with most of their clothes off and definitely in the middle of something.

Naomi's mouth drops open and her eyes circle wide, momentarily stupefied by the sight before her, the alcohol in her system slowing down any sort of swift decision making process. Anything that would normally tell her to close the fucking door.

"Ah sorry, this room's taken," the guy pauses and says casually, as if he doesn't really mind that Naomi is standing there while they're doing _that_.

"Unless you'd like to join us?" the girl underneath him purrs a little breathlessly. Licking her lips as she quirks an eyebrow.

Naomi doesn't need time to understand what the girl is suggesting, mumbling out a "no thanks" and slamming the door shut. She suddenly understands why Katie has that rule about locking doors, because it's a good rule, but she also thinks that perhaps knocking before opening the door would also be a good idea.

She keeps going, wondering how many rooms there are in this fucking house. Considers cutting her losses and going back downstairs. She yawns and is surprised to find herself feeling sleepy, thoughts of her warm bed at home creeping into her mind. She thinks she might have had enough of this party, everything seeming like a letdown after being in the shed with Freddie.

But she decides to try one more door, finds it already open a fraction and pushes it back, a satisfied sigh escaping and a triumphant smile forming when she realises she's found a bathroom at last. A nice, clean bathroom. But glancing around she realises that she's also found something else, her breath catching in surprise. She's found _someone_ else. The last person she expected to see. The person she'd come up here precisely to avoid.

Emily is standing at the basin washing her hands, and Naomi questions what the redhead did to get them dirty in the first place, then decides she doesn't want to even think about it. She watches her. Emily with her bright red hair that seems to call out to her like a beacon. Naomi used to hate the colour red. Couldn't look at it without thinking of blood and pain, thoughts inevitably then leading back to her father. She'd hated red. Anything associated with red. But then she'd seen Emily's hair and something about it captured her attention. Something that didn't make her eyes glaze with tears. It was bright and full of life, exactly the opposite of what it had meant to Naomi for as long as she could remember.

She's standing in the doorway unable to move, watching Emily intently, her eyes drifting over the redhead's petite frame. Her short skinny legs, the curve of her hips and her narrow waist. It still amazes Naomi how small Emily really is, considering how large and intimidating her presence feels.

It seems to Naomi like she's been staring for hours but it's probably mere seconds before Emily looks up into the mirror, her eyes meeting Naomi's through their reflections. Emily's face hardens for a second, then relaxes into a smile, before she turns around to face the blonde, resting back against the basin.

"Spying again are we?"

Naomi blinks, suddenly feeling very drunk once again, and Emily's husky words taking a little longer to reach her. She leans against the doorway for support, her legs feeling a little shaky. She blames the alcohol, even though she was feeling okay a minute ago.

"No," she says simply, unable to come up with anything better.

Emily smiles and Naomi thinks to herself that she has a pretty smile. Likes the way her lips curl up at the ends. Thinks it makes her seem friendlier. Thinks the redhead should smile more often.

"I would have thought you'd be with Freddie," Emily continues, a question in her voice.

Naomi feels her heart thumping faster. "Why would you think that?"

"It's pretty obvious he likes you," Emily shrugs. "And word is you two were in the shed for twenty minutes. That usually means one thing."

She lifts her eyebrow and smirks and Naomi feels her face flush with heat. Knows it probably shows with her cheeks turning pink. She doesn't like that everyone knows about her and Freddie in the shed. Wants to know how they found out. But for some reason she hates that Emily knows about it even more.

Then she remembers the photo of Emily and Freddie, and the fact that Freddie told her they were best friends.

"Why do you hate him?" she asks meekly, her voice wavering slightly, feeling herself losing her nerve as Emily looks her right in the eye.

The redhead sighs. Bites her lip in concentration. "I don't forgive people once they've fucked me over."

"What did he do?" Naomi asks automatically, but Emily smiles wryly.

"That's none of your business."

They stare at each other silently, the moment stretching out between them as Naomi wracks her sluggish brain for something to say. Emily seems to enjoy it. Enjoy making her feel uncomfortable.

"So why are you here?" the redhead asks finally, resting her palms on the basin behind her.

Naomi feels like the wind has been knocked out of her. She knows she doesn't fit in at this party. Knows she's not as cool as everyone else. She just didn't think Emily needed to point it out.

"Freddie invited me," she mumbles dejectedly, wondering why Emily feels the need to be so bitchy.

But the redhead just laughs. A throaty, husky laugh that hits Naomi low in her stomach. The blonde doesn't know why Emily's laughing at her but she doesn't care. Not like she did with Cook. She likes Emily's laugh.

"I meant _here_," Emily explains, gesturing around the room with one arm. "Why are you up here lurking in bathroom doorways?"

Naomi smiles, relieved that Emily wasn't calling her out for being the world's biggest dork.

"Just needed some space," she lies, because if she tells Emily the truth, that she needs to use the toilet, the redhead will leave. And Naomi doesn't want her to leave.

"Well come on then."

Emily pushes herself away from the basin and moves over to the bath, perching herself on the edge. Naomi stands there for a moment, apprehensive about what might happen if she crosses the threshold of the room. Her heart is racing and her stomach is tight, but she wants to go in. Wants to keep talking to Emily.

She steps into the room hesitantly and moves slowly over to the redhead. She looks at the small space next to Emily and knows that if she sits there they'll be far too close, so she pulls the lid down on the toilet and sits. Looks up and finds Emily watching her, a glint of amusement in her eye.

Naomi sits stiffly on the seat with a nervous smile fixed to her face. She doesn't like the silences between them that Emily seems to enjoy so much, but her mind is blank and she can't think of a thing to say. Nothing that wouldn't make her sound like an idiot.

Emily pulls a slim cigarette case out of her skirt pocket and opens it up, holds it out to Naomi.

The blonde hates smoking. Hates the taste and hates the smell and hates the burn in her throat and hates that it kills people. But still she finds her arms reaching out and grabbing one.

Emily seems surprised, and she passes over her lighter as well. Naomi takes it from her. Hates herself when she puts the cigarette between her lips and lights it, inhaling a few shallow breaths until she's sure it's lit. She holds it out in front of her and watches Emily light her own, inhaling deeply and then sliding the case and lighter back into her pocket.

Naomi brings the cigarette back to her lips, takes a shallow drag and inhales the smoke, feels her body tense as the smoke swirls down into her lungs. She wants to cough but she won't let herself. Doesn't want to look like a loser in front of Emily. But she exhales quickly, her throat and lungs on fire and tears in the corner of her eyes.

Her gaze falls on Emily and she watches as the redhead's lips part, a long cloud of smoke sneaking out from between them. Naomi's eyes follow the smoke for a moment before they flick back to Emily's lips. Her perfect pink lips that curl perfectly at the ends. And Naomi feels a sudden want to kiss those lips. Those lips that look so soft and supple yet firm. The thought triggers a warm radiating heat low in her belly, and Naomi crosses her legs instinctively. Has no idea why she's just thought of such a thing. Pushes the image from her mind.

She takes another drag, the pain of it stinging less this time, but she's glad for the distraction. Again she suppresses the urge to cough. She doesn't know exactly what it is, but the thousands of chemicals seem to be swirling through her bloodstream and straight to her head, which is now light and floating. Her eyes dart around the room, everything looking and feeling somewhat surreal.

"So won't Freddie be wondering where you are right now?"

Emily breaks the silence finally, pulling her arm back and flicking the ash of her cigarette in the bath, her eyes on Naomi the whole time.

The blonde blinks, not sure of how to answer that question or even if she wanted to. She knows Emily hates Freddie, but she doesn't want Emily to hate her. Doesn't want to talk about Freddie right now.

Decides to shrug instead and take another drag. Tries not to wince too obviously.

"Wow, you must really like him," Emily replies dryly, a smirk playing on her lips.

"What about you? Won't your girlfriend be missing you?" Naomi counters as a ribbon of smoke leaves her lips. Remembers that whore Emily was with downstairs and feels a surge of hatred for her.

But the redhead simply scoffs and shakes her head. "I don't have a girlfriend."

"What about that girl I saw you with earlier?"

"You were watching me?" Emily teases. "Again?"

"No," Naomi replies hastily, shaking her head, afraid she's been found out. She recovers quickly though, taking a breath and trying to sound nonchalant. "The two of you were just hard to miss."

The image of Emily pressed up against that girl flashes through her mind again like it's on some kind of timed loop, and Naomi feels her stomach tighten when she thinks about it.

Emily waits for the blonde to meet her eye again, and when Naomi does she finds the redhead's own blazing with intensity. Feels her stomach flip when Emily's tongue darts out quickly to lick her lips.

"She isn't my girlfriend."

And Naomi is both relieved and bothered. She's glad that the slutty girl isn't with Emily, but the redhead didn't rule out that she did actually have a girlfriend. Naomi isn't sure why she cares. It's none of her concern really. Doesn't stop her asking.

"Who is she then?"

"A girl."

They fall back into silence, but Naomi can't stand sitting there quietly with Emily. Can't stand this ambiguous tension that seems to exist between them. She feels like she needs to move but doesn't want to leave the bathroom altogether. Needs something to do.

She stands quickly, too quickly, because her head is spinning and her legs are unsteady. She takes a moment to regain her balance, then looks down to find Emily watching her.

"Just want some water," she explains, walking towards to basin and grabbing the glass on the counter.

Disgusted with herself she drops her half finished cigarette in the sink, then fills the glass with water and brings it to her lips.

The cool liquid soothes her throat as it travels through her body and she ends up sculling it all in one go. She needs to cool down. Everything is making her too hot.

But then she hears Emily move. Hears the clap of her shoes on the tile floor. Can feel the heat of her as the redhead moves to stand behind her.

Naomi whips around quickly, confronted with a smirking Emily much closer than the blonde would like. She feels her heart quicken as her breath shortens. Emily is close, too close, and Naomi is torn between pushing her away and pulling her close. But she doesn't want Emily to move away from her really. Because there is an ache low in Naomi's stomach that she never wants to go away.

And it's in that moment that Naomi finally stops lying to herself. As her eyes trace Emily's face, from her mysterious brown eyes to her adorable button nose to her perfect lips, Naomi finally allows herself to admit that she doesn't just want to be Emily's _friend_. Up until then the blonde has been telling herself that she's just intrigued by Emily. That her interest in the redhead is purely one of curiosity, but deep down she's always known it was a lie. It was a lie when she told herself the same thing about Chelsea back in Melbourne. It was a lie when that girl hit on her in Brighton and Naomi told her she wasn't interested. It's a lie when her eyes travel down the length of Emily's body, pausing on her chest before crawling back to her face to find the redhead still smirking.

But it's not a simple as that. Because she likes boys too, and she definitely likes Freddie. Certainly likes kissing him and the way her stomach flutters when he smiles at her. But she enjoys talking to him as well, finds him charming and fun.

It's different with Emily. Emily makes her stomach clench and her hands clammy. Makes it so that Naomi can't think about anything at all other than touching her. Sparks some kind of chemical reaction that spreads heat throughout her body that she can't stop even if she wants to. Despite that, Naomi isn't really sure if she even _likes_ Emily. Because the redhead is difficult to say the least, and they've barely had three conversations since they'd met, two of them involving Emily yelling at her. And Katie hates Emily, so Naomi doesn't want to piss off her new friend. But the redhead likes to read. Seems to be much smarter than she lets on. Looked genuinely worried when she freaked out in the library. Naomi wants to believe that someone good and worthwhile is hiding beneath Emily's attitude, but so far she hasn't seen or heard much to support that theory.

There's no denying that the redhead has some kind of hold over her, and Naomi feels it as their eyes meet again. The tension in the room has shifted. Charged. And from the expression on Emily's face she can feel it too.

"Do I make you nervous?"

Naomi swallows, her mouth suddenly dry despite downing a whole glass of water a minute ago.

"No...I just...no."

Her eyes dart around because this is all feeling like too much. Emily being so close to her and looking at her that way. Emily making her feel more with one glance than Freddie did with a kiss.

But soon her focus returns to Emily's intense gaze once again, as if she can't control it.

Emily's eyes flick down to her cleavage, and Naomi watches as the redhead bites her lip. Feels another pang of something altogether pleasurable low in her stomach.

"That dress looks good on you," Emily purrs in her husky tone, taking a step closer so that their bodies are centimetres apart.

Naomi's breathing is short and shallow, her heart thumping in her ears. Emily's body is so close, and the blonde can feel her fingers twitching to reach out and touch her. Balls her hands into fists to stop herself.

"Thanks," she manages to mumble.

"You look beautiful. I don't know why you're wasting your time with Freddie."

Emily lifts her hand and runs her fingers softly down Naomi's right arm, her ghostly touch causing goosebumps to break out over the skin as a shiver runs down the blonde's back. She gasps, and Emily seems to be enjoying the effect she's having on her.

"Who shou –" Naomi chokes out, her sentence cut short by the gasp that leaves her mouth when Emily shifts her fingers across to her collarbone, running them along it slowly.

The redhead's touch is so light and tantalising that Naomi almost can't stand it. Once again torn between pushing Emily away and pulling her closer.

Her body makes the decision for her though, as Emily's finger starts to trail down her chest slowly, not pausing or hesitating at all as she continues through the valley of Naomi's breasts, all the way down until it meets the material of her neckline.

The blonde's eyes flutter closed at Emily's featherlight touch, the sensations creating an ache in her centre. She's a slave to her body, the reactions Emily is igniting within her nothing like she has ever felt before. Part of her can't believe she's doing this. Standing there letting Emily touch her like this. But the other part isn't thinking at all. Never wants to think if it means she gets to feel like this.

But just like that Emily's fingers are gone, and Naomi opens her eyes to find that the redhead has stepped away from her, the heat of her body now gone. An amused glint in Emily's eye has Naomi frowning with confusion and a bit of frustration, wondering what the hell is going on and why Emily was touching her one second ago and now she's over by the door.

The redhead takes another step back, a wicked smile curling her lips. "Have fun."

She winks and then turns around, out of sight as soon as she walks away of the doorway.

Naomi falls back against the sink, leaning on it to support her shaky legs while she tries to catch her breath, practically panting now.

She thinks about the way Emily was looking at her, _touching her_, and then the way the redhead just left like that. Left when all Naomi wanted her to do was kiss her. When it seemed that that was all Emily wanted to do too.

She has no idea what the fuck just happened.

What she almost let happen.

What she wanted to happen.

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**Sooooo... review maybe? **

**:P**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Apologies for taking so long with this one...life is generally sucky at the mo...and I got distracted catching up on 'Ink' and 'Relapse' and 'Half Asleep' and 'I Hold A Force...' and 'Electric Feel'...and many other brilliant fics on here...I'll try to be quicker with the next one...and I do appreciate your reviews and messages so much...they are made of win! **

**Oh, and just a reminder – I mentioned in chapter one that Naomi wears contact lenses...I'm not just making that up right now :P**

**I'm just giving you fair warning...this is basically just filler...and Naomily-light...**

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Naomi blinks her eyes open tentatively, then clenches them shut again, the morning sunlight streaming in from the open curtains far too bright. But that small action causes her whole head to pulse with a sharp shot of pain, followed by a dull ache that feels like it's settling in for a long while. Her head feels like it's been filled with sand, her whole body does actually. Heavy and lethargic. She shifts a little and feels pain everywhere but especially her head. Feels her left leg nudge something. Cracks her eyes open just enough to make out the shape of something next to her.

_Someone_ next to her.

It takes her a few seconds, but the realisation that there is another person lying beside her is enough for her eyes to flick open quickly. She's slept in the same bed with someone else only a handful of times that she can remember, mostly her cousins during Christmases at her grandmother's house when she was little, but not once since she stopped wearing Care Bear underwear though. She likes to have her space, especially when she's sleeping.

But more troubling is the fact that she has _no idea_ who it is or how they ended up in bed together. She moves her hand under the sheets and pats her chest to check that she's clothed, uses her other hand to touch her thighs, relieved to find her dress still on and covering what it's supposed to.

The rapid beating of her panicked heart has helped to wake her, and she's now somewhat alert, but without her glasses or contacts she can only vaguely make out the face of the person next to her. Coupled with the blonde hair she is fairly confident that it's Pandora, and she relaxes slightly, thankful that she didn't end up in bed with some random.

Or Freddie.

Or Emily.

Especially Emily.

She takes a deep breath. Feels disorientated, her mind taking a lot longer to process everything, but when she stares up at the ceiling she's pretty sure it's the one in her new bedroom. There's a crack that runs out of the left corner that she recognises. _At least I made it home_, she thinks to herself, _I just don't remember how_.

She yawns and rubs the sleep out of her eyes, the ache in her temples intensifying as she does. She feels like someone ran over her head, put the truck in reverse and then backed over her, then did it again for good measure.

Her heavy hands drop back to her side and the right one smacks something. Something warm and soft.

"That's my leg you just hit," Katie says with a hint of annoyance, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Sorry," Naomi tries to whisper back, but it ends up getting lost in a coughing fit.

The coughing only makes her body thud with even more pain, and it feels like someone has rubbed her throat raw with sandpaper.

As she's wondering why it hurts so much the memory of smoking that disgusting cigarette floats to the surface of her murky brain. She knew she'd regret it. Add to that all the smoke that blanketed the house that she'd inhaled all night and she'd practically smoked a whole pack. If she doesn't get water soon she's pretty sure she'll die, but she can't force her body to actually get up and get any.

"That does not sound good." Katie says somewhat redundantly.

And then Naomi feels the brunette shifting beside her, a second later a glass of water is being held over her face.

"Sit up and drink this," Katie orders her in a firm but caring tone. "I brought them up last night because I could tell you were going to have a champion hangover."

Naomi smiles and thanks the universe for Katie fucking Fitch, then takes a deep breath to steel herself before attempting to sit up. She decides to get it over quickly, like ripping off a band-aid, lurching her body up suddenly and resting her back against the headboard. Instantly regrets it, her heartbeat pulsing in her head so strongly that she thinks she might be having a stroke or something.

She clenches her eyes shut and pushes at them with the heels of her palms.

"Looks like I was right," she hears Katie beside her as she takes the glass. "You were well fucked up last night."

Naomi brings the water to her mouth and takes small sips, the cool liquid soothing as it puts out the fire in the back of her throat. She ends up drinking the whole lot in one go, passing the glass back to Katie with her thanks.

"No worries," the brunette shrugs as Naomi shuffles back down the bed to lay horizontal again, "I'm used to it."

Naomi tries to smile but is not sure she pulls it off, her face still hasn't woken up enough to emote properly.

"You don't seem to be hungover," she whispers hoarsly, almost accusingly, irritated that her friend seems so bright and shiny after last night.

"I don't get hangovers," the brunette answers smugly. "I have the tolerance of an elephant...although I still come nowhere near Effy...shit..." She sits up and glances around the room, her eyes flicking around slightly panicked. "Where the fuck _is_ Effy?"

Naomi lifts her head but lays it back down quickly when she feels her neck twinge. Hears Katie's phone beep with a message a second later.

"Fucking hell," the brunette mutters and Naomi feels the mattress move as Katie gets up and continues her whispered rant. "I messaged her when we came back here but she never replied and I fucking fell asleep. She _totally_ broke the rule..."

Naomi thinks about the rules she broke last night. Her own rules. Rules about liking Emily, and smoking and drinking so much that she can't remember things she'd done. She wants to regret it, but then she thinks about the glint in Emily's eye when the redhead touched her and she can't. Although she still wished her throat didn't hurt so bad. Or the rest of her body for that matter.

She hears Katie breathe a sigh of relief. "Good...It's from Effy. I swear she's fucking psychic..."

Naomi thinks there might be something to that. Sometimes Effy stares at her like she knows a secret about her that Naomi isn't even aware she has.

"...Apparently she stayed at some random's house, but she's on her way over for breakfast and party debrief."

"Party debrief?"

Katie walks back over and sits on the edge of the bed. "You know...who we hooked up with...anything interesting we found out...what we got up to...general party gossip."

Naomi notices that her friend looks a bit of a mess, smudged mascara and smeared lipstick with her hair flopping about, and the blonde feels a little comforted knowing that she's not the only one.

She looks over to Panda who's still deep in sleep.

"She can sleep through a nuclear bomb," Katie explains. "Exactly like Em –"

The brunette stops herself from saying the rest of her name, her eyes lowering and her mouth turning down slightly. It's clear she's talking about Emily, but the mention of her name has the exact opposite effect on Naomi. Her stomach flutters and a small smile tugs up her lips.

The details are still foggy, but she remembers being in the bathroom with Emily. Remembers Emily talking to her. Inviting her in and offering her a smoke. Staring at her in a way that made the blonde blush. Standing so close that Naomi could feel her body heat. The redhead's hand reaching out to touch her. Caressing her skin. Naomi feels a shiver running down her spine at the memory, her body twitching as if her muscles remember her touch. She thinks that Emily might have been flirting with her last night. That the redhead might actually like her.

"So you and Freddie."

Katie's statement pulls her from her Emily daze and throws her straight into another memory from last night. Freddie. Her stomach flipping when he kissed her in the shed. When he asked her out on a date. When she _agreed_ to go out on a date. The thought makes her feel uneasy now.

Now that she might like Emily.

Now that Emily might like her.

But she doesn't really know what the fuck she feels, and with her head throbbing the way it is nothing seems to make sense.

"He asked me out," she admits tentatively, her eyes glued to the ceiling.

"Did you say yes?"

Naomi bites her lip. She has no idea how to answer that question. The brunette sounds curious rather than judgmental, but Naomi knows that Katie doesn't like Freddie. Last night the brunette seemed okay with her kissing him...although that could have just been because she was wasted. Then there's the whole Emily thing to consider. And the fact that she told Freddie she would go out with him.

Basically she has no fucking idea.

Katie looks slightly disappointed, like she knows the answer to her question, but Naomi's saved from having to answer by Pandora sitting bolt upright, scaring the crap out of her.

"I'm awake!" Panda yells into the room as if they'd asked her a question.

Naomi stares at her with wide eyes, wondering what the fuck that was. Panda just rubs at her face and stretches her body out.

"She does that all the time," Katie says casually, not even bothering to look over. "Morning Panda."

"Hey Katie. Where's Eff?"

"Shacked up with some guy. She'll be here soon."

"Right."

The two girls by her side settle back into silence, and the closer Naomi gets to being fully awake the more she remembers from the party, though there are still some holes in her recollection from after Emily left her in the bathroom.

She remembers feeling shaken up and off balance, taking a minute in the bathroom to splash some water on her face and collect herself. She'd wanted to go home then, but she'd gone downstairs and found Katie and Panda doing shots, then someone had passed her one and she'd thought what the fuck, downed it in one go and then another and then another.

After that it gets patchy. She danced with some people and she thinks maybe Freddie was one of them. She thinks she might have kissed him again. In front of everyone. The thought makes her head hurt even more.

She still doesn't remember how she got home. But the one thing she does know is that she didn't see Emily again last night. Her brain tries to come up with reasons why the redhead disappeared. Maybe Emily had another party to go to or something. Maybe she wasn't feeling well. Maybe she hooked up with that skank again. Maybe Emily was just messing with her to piss off Feddie.

Naomi rubs her temples again. She doesn't want to think about it anymore.

"Alright sluts," Katie announces as she sits up and smacks her palm down on the bed. "Eff will be here soon and I'm starving. Get off your asses."

Naomi shuffles off the bed not at all gracefully, her head thumping at the effort, while Panda practically jumps out of bed. She doesn't seem too hungover either, and Naomi feels like an amateur for trying to keep up with these girls who seem to be semi-professional binge drinkers.

She pulls an old hoodie out of her drawer and throws it over her dress, feeling even more self-conscious about it in the light of day. She knows she should probably put in her contact lenses or her old glasses on because everything is looking a little fuzzy, but Panda and Katie are waiting for her and she doesn't want to make a thing about needing them. She got teased enough as a kid.

As soon as she opens her bedroom door she hears someone moving around the kitchen and feels her heart quicken when she realises that her friends are going to meet her mother, which is usually something she avoids as much as possible. She's chronically embarrassed by her mother, but the whole world seems to be charmed by her, and the few acquaintances that Naomi has introduced to her in the past have been no exception. Naomi is pretty sure they liked her mum more than they liked her.

But right now it seems their meeting is inevitable.

Naomi takes a deep breath before she walks through to the kitchen, Katie and Pandora shuffling behind her still in their party clothes but not looking much like they care. She finds her mother sitting at the table flicking through one of her silly gossip magazines, casually dressed in a t-shirt and skirt with her hair in a messy ponytail. Then she notices the pile of pancakes sitting in the middle of the table and grins, her mood improving instantly. Her mum does make the best pancakes.

"Morning girls," she greets them as she puts down her magazine, rises from her chair and walks over to the kettle. "Just in time for breakfast. I was wondering how long it would take for the smell to lure you in here."

"Wizzer," Panda says behind Naomi.

"Brilliant," Katie adds.

And the two girls hastily take a seat at the table, introducing themselves and chatting easily with her mother who pours them each a coffee and fawns over them, souring Naomi's mood further. She hears her mum telling them how pretty they both are and how much she likes their dresses, and the blonde is caught between wanting to laugh at how pathetic her mother is, trying to impress her friends, and feeling hurt because she never acts like that with her. She knows her mother wants a teenage daughter more like Katie.

There's a knock at the door and she looks to her mother to answer it so that she'll shut up for a few seconds, but she's deep in conversation with the girls and none of them seem to have heard it. So she grudgingly pulls her heavy body up from her chair and trudges up to the front of the house.

She opens the door and finds her mysterious blue-eyed friend, also looking a little rough, her hair wild and messy and her makeup smudged.

"Hey Eff," she greets her with much less enthusiasm than she means to.

"Wow Naomi, try not to knock me over with how pleased you are to see me."

She smiles and rubs at her temples again. "Sorry. Bad hangover."

"You'll get used to it."

Naomi thinks that she doesn't want to get used to it. Doesn't want to do last night ever again.

The pair walk back through the house to the kitchen, and Naomi motions to her mum.

"Mum this is Effy. Effy this is my mum."

"Call me Gina," she smiles at the brunette, "now how about some coffee? And pancakes? Good for a hangover."

Effy nods yes to both and takes a seat, tucks into her pancakes and sips at her coffee with the rest of them. Naomi watches silently as they chat for another ten or so minutes, the three seeming to be quite taken with her mother, which is no surprise to the blonde.

"Well girls," her mum begins as she stands from her seat. "I'd love to stay and hear about the mischief you got up to at the party but I have some errands to run."

Relief floods Naomi but she looks around to her friends who seem genuinely disappointed.

"Thanks for letting us crash," Katie offers.

"And for breakfast," Panda continues with a mouth full of pancakes. "These are ripper pancakes."

"It was lovely," Effy adds.

Her mum smiles brightly, clearly satisfied with herself. "Of course girls. Anytime."

They say their goodbyes, and as soon as the front door closes Katie turns to Effy.

"Where did you fuck off to last night without telling anyone?"

Effy smirks. "Don't worry _mum_, we used a condom."

Naomi's hand pauses with her fork halfway to her mouth, a little shocked at how cavalier the brunette is about sex, while Panda giggles next to her, obviously used to it.

Katie scrunches her face. "Ew. We don't need details. Again."

"He was just some guy," Effy shrugs. "Just a good time. Speaking of..." she turns to Naomi. "You and Freddie in the shed huh?"

Naomi almost chokes on her coffee.

"What? How did you...how did you hear about that?"

Effy simply smiles in that knowing way that unnerves the blonde slightly.

_Great_, Naomi thinks. She wonders if the whole party knows that she kissed him. That she agreed to go out with him. Mostly she wonders if Emily knows.

"He asked her out and she said yes," Katie adds, shoving another mouthful of pancakes in.

And all Naomi wants to do is slide under the table and hide from this conversation.

Effy studies her for a moment. "And he's the one you like?"

Naomi can't help her eyes widening at the comment, her heart thumping hard against her ribcage. She doesn't know how Effy knows about Emily, but the blonde is pretty sure that's what she's referring to.

"Why?" Katie asks, her interest piqued. "Who else do you like?"

"No one," Naomi says quickly, avoiding Effy's eye and trying to act like she genuinely has no idea what the brunette's talking about, and Effy seems to get the message.

"I'm just messing around."

Katie stares at them for a moment, her gaze flicking between Naomi and Effy as if she's trying to decide whether to believe them. Naomi holds her breath the whole time. Tries to look innocent. It must work because soon Katie shrugs and launches into a story about herself, and Naomi finally exhales the breath she'd been holding.

They gossip and catch up as they finish breakfast, and the girls leave shortly after. Truthfully Naomi is happy to say goodbye to them. Her head is still killing her and she wants to sleep some more, but mostly she just wants to get back to her routine. She's felt thrown off all week and she wants to spend the weekend feeling like herself again.

She spends the rest of Saturday in bed, not wanting to move. She napsand watches some television, but she can't focus enough to read. She's ready to fall alseep before dinner, conscious of the fact that her mum is out on a date on a Saturday night while she's in bed. Not that that's really something new. Her phone goes off with a message from Katie asking her if she wants to hang out, but Naomi declines the offer. She's still recovering from the night before. Feels like she'll be recovering for weeks.

She spends most of Sunday in her room as well, reading and listening to music, finally starting to feel normal again. Also avoiding her mother who wants to tell her all about her allegedly _amazing _date with Roger the electrician from Tesco. She loses herself in her books and tries not to think about Emily. Fails most of the time. It's almost as if now that she's finally admitted to herself that she likes the redhead the floodgates are open and she thinks about her all the time. Wonders what it will be like at college on Monday. Maybe Emily will talk to her more now. Smile at her. She likes Emily's smile. Maybe she'll ask her out on a date even. Maybe she'll kiss her at the end of the night.

But homeroom on Monday morning proves all of her fanciful daydreams wrong. She puts a little extra effort into her appearance, taking some time to straighten her hair and trawl through her entire wardrobe again to find an outfit that made her look good, but not like she was trying too hard. Which she was.

Emily completely ignores her.

Doesn't speak to her. Doesn't smile at her. Doesn't even look at her. She just sits up the back and jokes around with Cook and JJ, her throaty chuckle still making the blonde's stomach swirl, against her will. Freddie tries to talk to her but she just nods along, not even remotely aware of what he's saying, all her thoughts focused on the redhead behind her. Part of Naomi wants to think that maybe Emily is ignoring her because Katie is _right_ there, but the sensible part of her brain thinks that maybe it was all just some fucked up game for Emily. That she was just messing with her for some reason. Maybe to get back at Freddie.

She scolds herself for being so fucking stupid. For thinking that Emily might actually like her.

It gets worse at lunch, when Naomi glances around the cafeteria and spots Emily sitting in the corner with a lapful of some very tall brunette girl.

Her stomach falls to the floor.

She feels like such a fucking idiot.

"Oh god," Katie says, scrunching her face at the sight, her attention drawn to it by the cat-calls of some boys. "That's just wrong."

Naomi looks away when she sees Emily's hand sliding up the girl's back, under her shirt. She glances back to the disgusted look on Katie's face and something occurs to her for the first time, and she can't believe the thought has only just crossed her mind.

"Is that why you don't get along with Emily? Because she's gay?"

The tension between the four of them thickens immediately. Effy keeps her head down and her expression hidden, while Panda pauses her sandwich midway to her mouth, her eyes darting between them all.

Naomi regrets asking it instantly. Feels like she shouldn't have brought up Emily at all.

The brunette is eyeing her harshly, and Naomi steels herself for Katie to lash out at her.

"I don't give a toss about that," she says finally, her voice level and calm, nothing like Naomi had expected, and she feels herself relax slightly.

"I'm not some crazy homophobe," the brunette continues. "I just believe in having some class. As in not doing _that_ when people are eating. Plus, I can't believe she's all over that Mandy girl. She's disgusting...and like...twice her size."

Effy smirks. "Maybe that comes in handy."

Katie sticks her tongue out like she's going to be sick. Naomi feels the same way, but for a completely different reason.

"They were together at the party," Panda explains, and the news makes Naomi's chest tighten again.

She almost wants to laugh at herself for being so naive. Emily was with that slutty blonde girl _and_ this Mandy girl. Clearly she doesn't give a shit about plain boring Naomi. She finds herself getting angry with the redhead. Pissed off that she played with her like that. Made her admit things to herself that she didn't want to.

"And then she was in the bathroom with some other girl," Panda adds, looking somewhat amused by the situation. "That's what I heard anyway."

Naomi's eyebrows raise is surprise. _Are they talking about me? Or was Emily with yet _another_ girl?_ She's not sure which is worse.

"I don't want to hear about it," Katie says firmly, holding up a hand and waving the conversation away.

The mood picks up again shortly after, the discussion jumping from one topic to another rapidly like it always seems to. Naomi is getting better at keeping up, but she still struggles with a lot of their in-jokes and references. Especially now that she's distracted. She occasionally sneaks a glance over to where Emily is, but the redhead and that giant Mandy girl disappear halfway through lunch, something Naomi is thankful for.

But not really.

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**Arrrgh! I don't know what happened with this chapter...I'm pretty certain it's complete **_**shit**_**...my brain didn't want to write...we had several heated arguments about it...some hurtful things were said...so you should direct a review to my brain and tell it to get off its procrastinating-veronica mars re-watching-book reading ass and pick up its game...is all I'm saying...**

**Also, you might all probably know this already, but I only found out about it today because I think I only know of about 1% of the awesome Naomily stuff on the interweb (pretty much just Heather Hogan and Rophy), but the brilliant Heather Hogan has written a fanfic, so if you haven't read it yet here's the link:**

******http: / /heather-hogan. livejournal. com /954. html **– (take out the spaces obvs...because FF sucks...)

**It's awesome...just thought I'd do a public service announcement for those who like me didn't know about it...**

****Review if you would be so kind...next one will be better I promise...and lots of delicious Naomily!****

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	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks so much for your kind reviews and messages, especially when I struggled so much with that last chapter...they motivated me to knock this one out a bit quicker...and to all my silent readers - glad you're liking it...hopefully...or at least not sending hate mail if you don't :)**

**Now before you all beat me with a stick – yes, Emily actually **_**speaks**_** in this one instead of just kissing randoms :P**

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It's not until Thursday morning that Freddie brings up their date again.

They're sitting in homeroom in relative silence because Kieran just blasted the shit out of them all and told them to shut up, slamming his fist on his desk and glaring at them. He's a pretty grumpy guy but usually quiet, so the outburst has shocked most of them into silence. Naomi is pretty sure he's hungover. She can't blame him.

He seems to be tolerating a few hushed conversations around the room though, including Katie and Effy bickering about their English homework, but Naomi is taking the opportunity to finish reading her book. She can hear Emily and Cook whispering behind her and she tries to tune it out, but her mind keeps drifting from her book to their conversation, trying to hear what they're saying. Torn between her curiosity and her annoyance with the redhead.

Emily still hasn't spoken to her since the _bathroom incident_ as Naomi has taken to referring to it, and barely even glanced in her direction. For the first couple of days the blonde was bordering on furious, a confusing swirl of hurt and anger over how Emily was treating her. But then she gave herself a reality check. Reminded herself that the redhead is a bitch and that she doesn't even like her, despite the way her body reacts when she's around. She puts it down to some strange anomaly, because her feelings for Emily are new and confusing and she doesn't trust them. So she's decided to completely forget about it. Forget about her. Put it down to some sort of temporary insanity, because clearly Emily doesn't in fact like her, so Naomi isn't going to waste any more time thinking about her. She's going to ignore the little flutter in her stomach every time she hears that husky voice. Sees that mischievous smile. Ignore her completely.

She's decided to focus on her new friends and her college work instead. She's ahead in most of her classes but she wants it to stay that way, and she's vowed to go back to her old plan of not being interested in anyone, Emily or Freddie. It's safer that way. The other way just leaves her anxious and confused, and she hates not being in control of her feelings.

The only problem is that Freddie doesn't seem to want to cooperate with that plan. After the indifference she's shown him the last few days; avoiding eye contact and answering him with short, closed off replies, she thought he might've given up or backed off. But if anything it's just seemed to make him try harder, and against her better judgement she finds herself flattered by his attention again.

Doesn't stop her being surprised though when he turns around in his chair to face her and leans onto her desk, his face is close enough to hers that all she can think about is when they kissed. Her stomach flips again at the memory despite herself.

His eyes seem to struggle for a moment with whatever he wants to say, until he finally opens his mouth.

"Did I do something wrong?"

She's taken aback by the bluntness of his question, but also the genuine concern lacing his words, and her wide eyes blink back at him.

His voice is a low whisper but in the unusual quiet of the room Naomi's acutely aware that her friends and probably his friends might overhear. Emily could too. She wishes he had waited until after class.

"Because I had fun with you at the party and I thought you had fun with me. But since then you've been a bit...I don't know...did I do something to piss you off?"

She instantly feels guilt twisting her stomach, because no, he didn't do anything wrong. In fact he has been completely lovely to her ever since they met, a friendly face that made coming to college every day that much easier. It's just that he confuses her even more, because how could she have liked kissing him if she liked it so much when Emily touched her?

Her focus darts around nervously before finally settling back on him, and his sweet brown eyes seem genuinely troubled be her behaviour. \

Her resolve starts to falter.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," she whispers softly, hoping that no one else hears. "I've just been...distracted...with settling in and everything. New college and new town."

It's not really a lie, but it's nowhere near the whole truth either.

"Sorry," she adds as an afterthought.

Freddie seems relieved by her answer, a smile stretching across his face.

"Right. Of course. I didn't even think about it like that." He scratches the back of his head in that absentminded way that Naomi thinks is cute. "Jeez, I must look like a real self-involved dick for thinking that it was all about me."

They share a laugh, and Naomi thinks it's better to have Freddie feeling like an idiot than knowing she's one. But then she hears Emily's unmistakable throaty laugh and Cook's chuckle behind her, sees Freddie's smile falter for a second as his eyes flick over her shoulder. Her body tenses, and she wonders if she and Freddie are the cause of the laughter, relieved when Cook says something about some girl's tits and they laugh harder.

Freddie just shakes her head and rolls his eyes then smiles at her. She smiles back, feeling like they're sharing their ownprivate joke, but also because she can't not when he's looking at her like that.

"Well are you busy this Saturday then? I can give you the grand tour of Bristol and then we can have dinner maybe? My uncle owns this great restaurant."

He looks so hopeful that Naomi can't bring herself to say no, which she should because she promised herself that she wouldn't get involved with anyone. But she wants to say yes. Then she remembers that she has plans to go shopping with the girls.

She realises that she's been staring at Freddie blankly for far too long.

"I can't," she spits out finally, and it sounds like more of a rejection that she meant it to.

Freddie's smile drops a little on one side but he tries to cover his disappointment, and Naomi hastens to add the reason why she can't go.

"It's not that I don't want to...but I'm supposed to be going shopping with these guys."

She points and looks along the table to her friends, is slightly alarmed to find them all staring back at her at and Freddie, an amused smile on Effy and Pandora's faces, and an apprehension in Katie's. It's pretty clear that they've heard the whole conversation.

"Don't even worry about that," Effy says waving her hand dismissively. "We can go on Sunday or something. You two go out on Saturday."

Naomi can feel Freddie's gaze fall back to her, and an anxious knot tightens in her stomach. She does want to go, because she likes hanging out with him, but that would mean they're going on a _date_. Which goes against her whole _not getting involved _policy. More important is the fact that she's never actually been on a date, and just the thought of it has her stomach churning with nerves...but also a little excitement.

"So...?" Freddie says looking for confirmation.

The words tumble out of her mouth before she even thinks about them.

"Okay...sure."

-x-

Naomi pushes through the double doors of the library and takes a deep calming breath. Friday has been long and painful, mostly thanks to the numerous messages she's received all day from her mother about Roger the electrician not calling her back. She had to hear all about it over breakfast this morning and she tried to be sympathetic then, offering the same supportive and placating words and excuses for why he mightn't have called her that she has in the past, but Naomi's sympathy drained quickly as she got several updates from her throughout the day. For once she wishes that a guy would call her mother just so she can shut up about it.

Part of her is worried that her mother seems to like this guy so much so quickly, but another part knows that if he had called her back her mum wouldn't like him quite as much. In the end she's glad he hasn't called, because it just means that her mum will have to find some other asshole and they might not have to move again for a while.

Her mood also wasn't helped when some bastard bumped into her in the corridor at lunch and almost knocked her over, not even stopping to apologise or see if she was okay.

But the final bell has gone for the week and she wants to let it all go and lose herself in some books.

She carefully slips her stack of borrowed books back into the return slot, smiling politely at the librarian Mrs Clarke, before taking off in search of more. As she moves between the shelves she feels her body relaxing, something about the smell of so many books, so much wisdom and history, that never fails to calm her.

She's glad that her friends and Freddie don't know she comes in here. Partly because she feels like a total nerd, but more so because the library is hers. A place she can go and just be herself. Not have to worry about saying something uncool or wearing the wrong thing. She can just be Naomi.

She's trawling through the fiction shelves when she feels someone tug on her arm. She scowls and turns around, her breath catching when she finds herself face to face with Emily. The redhead looks tired, but she's smiling at her, and again Naomi thinks to herself how much she likes it when she smiles at her.

"Hey."

Emily's husky voice thickens the word so that it sounds to Naomi much more than a simple greeting. It winds its way around her and squeezes all the oxygen out of her body. She can feel her skin burning where Emily touched her. Feels like she can't move. Can't speak.

But then anger swirls inside her and she remembers how pissed off she is with Emily for making her feel like a fool and then ignoring her all week. Finds it much easier to speak again.

"What do you want?"

Emily looks surprised by her harsh words and tone, but she recovers quickly, a gentle smile on her lips.

"Are you angry with me or something?"

Naomi scoffs because she wants to look like she doesn't care, but she's also getting déjà vu from her earlier conversation with Freddie in homeroom, only with Emily the answer to the question is yes. But her forced nonchalance falters briefly when she thinks she sees fear in the redhead's eyes.

"Did Katie say something to you about me?"

Naomi frowns because she wasn't expecting that. "No."

Emily studies her for a moment as if she's trying to work out if she's telling the truth.

"Did Freddie?"

"We have better things to talk about."

Naomi smirks, satisfied with her snarky comment. She realises too late that it would have been the perfect opportunity to ask exactly what either Katie or Freddie could have told them about her.

Emily's eyes narrow, and she moves on before Naomi has a chance to backtrack.

"Then why are you pissed at me?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't."

Emily shrugs and looks down, leans back against the shelf with her shoulders hunched, and it occurs to Naomi that this is the first time she's seen the redhead's cool exterior waver. Emily almost seems wounded, and it pulls at something in Naomi's chest. Makes her want to take back the last minute and start over.

They stay in a silent stand-off, Naomi not sure of what to say but not wanting Emily to leave either. They're a metre or so apart on either side of the isle but Naomi feels like Emily is so much closer to her. Surrounding her. Wearing her down. She wants to take a step back but her back is hard up against the shelves.

"You've ignored me all week," she admits finally, feeling foolish for being so honest as soon as the words leave her mouth.

But it's the truth. All week Emily has acted like a complete stranger. Worse than that really because the redhead has almost gone out of her way to avoid even looking at her, and Naomi wondered if it was intentional. And what she did to make Emily act that way.

Emily lifts her head, her mysterious brown eyes locking with the blonde's, and Naomi feels her heart skip.

"You didn't talk to me either."

Naomi blinks. She wasn't expecting that. She hadn't even thought of it that way. That Emily might have been waiting for _her_. That's just not the way she thought they work. Emily is always finding her, always initiating any of their conversations.

But then she thinks about the time she watched Emily reading in the library, or in the bathroom at the party, and realises that that's not really true. Either way she knows exactly why she didn't approach her all week.

"Well on Monday I saw you with that girl in the caf–"

Emily's face scrunches in confusion. "Mandy?"

Naomi's feels a flicker of irritation at the question in the redhead's voice. As if she was with so many girls on Monday that Mandy could have been one of many.

"Yeah," she says with an edge in her tone.

Emily pushes her shoulders off the shelf and straightens up, closing the gap between them slightly. Looks at Naomi hard.

"Why does it matter that I was with Mandy?"

The question sucks the air out of Naomi's lungs.

She wants to tell Emily that it matters because after the party she thought the redhead actually liked her. It matters because she admitted to herself that she's attracted to her. _A girl_. It matters because seeing that giant Mandy girl all over her felt like a punch in the stomach. Made her feel like a fool.

It matters.

But she can't tell Emily any of that. So she lies.

"It doesn't."

Emily continues to stare at her with an unreadable expression, but something about the knowing look in her eye makes her think that the redhead knows the truth. Has Naomi's heart beating wildly.

The blonde is thankful when a couple of guys walk past the aisle talking loudly, the distraction diffusing the tension between her and Emily and allowing her time to take a couple of steps further down the aisle away from the redhead.

She turns her back on Emily and faces the shelves, her eyes scanning the books but not reading anything, just taking the time to take a few deep breaths and compose herself. She doesn't want Emily to leave, for their exchange to end, but she can't look at her at the moment.

She's relieved when she hears the redhead behind her.

"So which book is your favourite?"

Naomi smiles, thankful for the change of subject, but keeps her back turned. She thinks a lot clearer when she's not looking at Emily.

"That's a very big question."

Emily chuckles, and it lands deep in Naomi's stomach. "Do you have a very big answer?"

"I can't pick just one favourite."

The redhead makes a playful exasperated sound in her throat that makes Naomi's grin wider. "Yes you can. Like if you were stuck on an island and could only have one book what would it be?"

Naomi bites her lip and thinks about it for a second, the obvious answer coming to her quickly. She moves away from Emily down the aisle until she finds the book, pulls it off the shelf and makes her way back. Hands it to the redhead.

Emily reads the title, a small smile gracing her lips. "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." She lifts her eyes to meet Naomi's. "Why this one?"

"Because I love it," she says quickly, then realises that it's not much of an answer. "I've been reading it since I was little but it's different every time," she explains, turning her back on Emily again. "I get something new out of it each time."

Emily makes an approving noise over her shoulder, and when Naomi moves slowly down the aisle again the redhead follows.

"What about you?"

"Yeah I don't mind it," Emily answers nonchalantly.

Naomi smiles. "I meant which book would you take to the island?"

"The bible."

Naomi stills in surprise and whips her head around. Finds Emily smirking back at her struggling to stifle a laugh.

"Very funny. But seriously?"

Emily takes a step toward her and widens her eyes in feigned innocence. "What? I'm _extremely _religious."

But the redhead can only hold it for a few seconds before her mischievous smirk is back. Naomi tries to glare at her sternly but she too ends up smiling. She likes Emily's smirk. Emily's lips.

It's then that she notices that the redhead is close to her again. That she's wearing a t-shirt with a low neckline, and Naomi can't stop her eyes from falling to Emily's chest fleetingly.

But when she looks up the redhead is smirking at her in a different way, and she knows that Emily saw her. The tension between them tightening again as the blonde tries not to blush too obviously, knowing she can't stop it completely.

"I can't believe you're going on a date with Funsponge."

Emily's voice is light and casual, but her eyes tell a different story, studying Naomi seriously. The blonde is caught off guard by the abrupt turn in the conversation, but even more so by the fact that she'd completely forgotten Freddie existed until now. She thinks about what that says about who she really wants to be going out on a date with.

But Emily's question troubles her further, and she wonders if the redhead is referring to the fact that Freddie is popular and hot, someone Naomi always thought was out of her league. It's something she's thought about often, especially when she catches the jealous and contemptuous glares directed at her from various girls around the college when she's talking with Freddie. He dated or did _whatever_ with Effy, and Naomi doesn't consider herself to be even half as gorgeous as the brunette.

But she wants to hear Emily's answer.

"Why is it so unbelievable?"

Emily shrugs. "Because he's a fucking dick."

There's a harsh resentment in her voice, and it's then that Naomi remembers that Emily hates Freddie. And that they used to be best friends. Takes the opportunity to ask why.

"Why aren't you two friends anymore?"

Emily stares at her with an unreadable expression, and Naomi shifts on her feet uncomfortably. She doesn't like asking people questions. Mostly because she hates answering them herself. But she desperately wants to know the answer to this one.

The redhead bites her lip and sighs. "You should ask Freddie."

"I did."

Emily looks surprised. "And what did he say?"

"He didn't really answer."

The redhead laughs and nods slightly then, like she expected that.

And Naomi thinks that she hasn't known Freddie for that long but he's been nothing but sweet to her, and she feels the need to say so.

"He just offered to show me around Bristol and then have some dinner. He's actually been really lovely to me."

But Emily doesn't seem to like that, her features hardening and jaw tightening, the tension between the two of them shifting again.

"Yeah, that's because he's trying to fuck you."

Naomi blinks, unsure of how exactly to respond to such a claim, or why Emily seems so annoyed by it in the first place. She doesn't know how they got from laughing about books to arguing about Freddie, but she can feel the anger radiating from the redhead.

"Just don't fall for any of his bullshit," Emily says finally, a bitterness in her tone. "Because he's full of it.

Naomi isn't sure if it requires an answer but she nods her head anyway.

The redhead takes a deep breath, then glances out to the other end of the aisle.

"I better go."

She turns back and locks eyes with Naomi, and the blonde doesn't want her to leave like this, after that small argument, but she can't think of a reasonable excuse for her to stay.

"Okay."

A small smile tugs up one side of Emily's face and Naomi smiles in return, though it's more forced than anything, and then the redhead turns and walks away.

And Naomi is again left wanting more.

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**Poor Naomi...Emily alway leaves her hanging :P**

**For those of you wondering about when I'll finish Memories & Dust...to be honest I don't know. I feel like it will come when the mood takes me (does that sound dirrrty to anyone else? :P ) but I don't know when that will be...sorry...but I WILL finish the last two chapters...eventually... :/**

**Also, just because I'm obsessed with music and love sharing it - some of you (especially Aussies) may have heard of Megan Washington and her band Washington, but if you haven't you should definitely youtube them...especially the new single 'Sunday Best'...they are the shizzz...**

**Next chapter – FREDDIE & NAOMI DATE NIGHT! See, you're not excited now but you will be when you see what I got planned :P**

**Reviews are welcomed...and appreciated...and encouraged...and treasured like stars in the sky...okay I don't know what that was...but you get the point... :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'd like to preface this by saying I've never been to Bristol, so I besides a quick look at a tourism website I have no idea what I'm talking about in this chapter. Apologies to people from Bristol (Bristolers? Bristolians?) if I got anything wrong...most of it's factually inaccurate I'm sure...from what I've seen on **_**Skins**_** I know they have lovely park benches and lots of parties, so I think I would fit in perfectly - going to the parties and then passing out on the park benches...you think I'm joking, but seriously, the amount of times I've passed out in public is truly shameful...and yes...I have snuck some Melbourne love in here too...I can't help it...I love Melbourne so much I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant...**

**Sorry for the length of this one...and for being filler...next one will have moar Naomily...and I have to be up in 4 hours so this isn't proof read...I'll fix the mistakes later...**

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Naomi doesn't want to go on her date with Freddie. Spends all of Friday night tossing and turning in her bed thinking of excuses for why she can't. She refuses to play the sick/dead relative card because she knows what it's like to actually have that excuse and can't bring herself to trade on that kind of pain. She thinks about faking sick or saying something else has come up unexpectedly, but she's pretty sure Freddie will sense the rejection. She may be good at denying or hiding her feelings but she's not good at blatant lying. Her eyes always betray her, and she doesn't want to hurt Freddie.

Her thoughts of why she doesn't want to go on the date continue to drift back to Emily, the two inextricably linked. Her mind plays their latest library encounter over and over again on a loop, and she spends hours dissecting everything that was said and trying to remember the redhead's facial expressions and gestures; every quirk of her eyebrow and hint of a smile, looking for some kind of hidden meaning or clue as to what is going on between them. What Emily wants from her. What she wants from Emily.

At about 3am though, when fatigue is seeping into her muscles and her body is crying out for sleep, her mind floating somewhere between asleep and awake, Naomi realises how pathetic she's being, that she has become one of those girls. The ones she used to judge and make fun of and feel superior to; those silly, ditzy girls who obsess endlessly over the boys they like.

Or in her case _girl_.

The thought is somewhat jarring, as if it hasn't really hit her until that moment, and Naomi flicks her bedside lamp on and sits up against her headboard. Sweeps back the hair that's fallen over her face and tucks it behind her ears. Stares into space, the realisation overwhelming her.

Emily is a _girl_.

_She has small hands and smooth skin and soft lips and...other girl parts,_ Naomi thinks._ I have no idea what to do with those._

The thought is confronting. Makes everything more real.

She's liked other girls before, fleeting crushes on them as she admired from afar. But it was safe then, harmless really, because the girls she liked were straight and probably had no idea she even existed. Definitely no idea she liked them. Naomi barely acknowledged to herself that she even liked them. There was no danger at all.

With Emily though, everything seems dangerous. For a start Emily is actually gay, so that freaks the blonde out because theoretically something _could_ happen. But more importantly, Emily seems to be interested in her, for reasons Naomi can't fathom. And Naomi is interested in her too, intrigued by the brief glimpses of Emily that she's gotten. Not the bitchy, slutty Emily, but the smart and interesting Emily from the library. She likes that Emily.

And then there's Freddie. _Freddie who you've agreed to go on a date with_, Naomi reminds herself. She wonders what he did to Emily. Thinks about what he could have done to turn them from best friends to enemies. She has trouble reconciling it because everyone else seems to like Freddie and no one seems to like Emily. Maybe Emily and Cook are lying, and Freddie didn't do anything. But then Naomi remembers Effy saying something to Katie about her disliking Freddie because of what he did to Emily.

The thoughts circle around her brain like a dog chasing its tail until Naomi feels her eyelids getting heavy.

She turns off the light and shuffles back down under the covers, pulls them up around her neck the same way she has since she was little. And as she drifts off to sleep she resigns herself to going on the date with Freddie tomorrow, mostly because she said she would, even though her dreams are filled with red and fire and a frightening feeling of being completely out of control.

-x-

She knows she has to tell her mother something. Freddie is going to show up at the door in a couple of hours with his polite smile and sweet eyes and maybe even something that screams date, like flowers, and her mum will be home and she'll know something is up. She has no choice but to tell her. She'd wanted to avoid all of this by meeting Freddie somewhere far away from her mother and her house, but he had insisted, wanting to be all chivalrous, and especially because they didn't live that far from each other.

So Naomi takes a deep breath before padding into the kitchen. Finds her mum making a coffee.

"Morning."

Her mum turns to her, a bright smile already lighting up her face.

"Morning love." She holds up her mug. "You want one?"

Naomi nods and smiles tightly, watches her mum's back as she moves around and fixes her a coffee, humming as she does so.

Roger the Tesco electrician finally called yesterday evening, so she has been in a nauseatingly good mood since, much to Naomi's annoyance. She'd been hoping that Roger would never call, so that her mum would have to spend some time finding some other loser to obsess about. No such luck. He gave her some terrible excuse about working blah blah blah that her mum totally bought, and they were going out again tomorrow night.

Naomi found it all terribly irritating.

"Here you go," her mum says as she places the mug in front of her, the blonde smiling her thanks.

They sit in silence for a moment, Naomi mustering her courage.

"So mum," she begins hesitantly, her eyes staring into her dark shape reflected in the coffee, "I just wanted to let you know I won't be home for dinner. I'm going out."

She tries to sound casual about it, throwing in a small shrug of one shoulder and keeping her voice as neutral as possible.

Her mum seems delighted by the idea. "Oh good. What are you and the girls doing?"

Naomi bites her lip. Keeps her eyes down. She can feel her heart hammering away in her chest, because this is the closest she has ever come to talking about boys with her mother. It's usually a fairly one sided conversation, Naomi sitting silently as her mum gushes about the guy she met at the post office or parking lot or someplace equally unlikely.

"Well, I'm actually not going out with Katie, Effy and Panda. Another friend from college has offered to show me around the city...Freddie."

She doesn't want to, but her eyes flick up to meet her mother's almost involuntarily, and she finds them staring back at her, wide with surprise.

"Freddie? A boy?"

Naomi shifts her gaze back down to the table, not sure if she should be offended by the obvious shock in her mother's voice at the fact that she actually has a date with a boy. That a boy might actually like her.

Her mum must sense her indignation, because she reels in her surprise and softens her shocked features.

"Well, that's...great. Do you need some money or anything?"

Naomi shakes her head, not trusting her own voice and feeling entirely uncomfortable with the whole conversation.

"That's very nice of...Freddie?"

She nods. Her mum smiles.

"Freddie to show you around. And you'll be having dinner too?"

Nods again, feels her shoulders relax slightly.

"This Freddie, is he a nice boy?"

She smiles nervously, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, he's nice."

"Good."

Naomi lifts her gaze and smiles at her mother. Feels like she's just gone through a teenage girl rite of passage, talking to her mother about a date, and surprisingly she doesn't find it all that horrible.

"So is he a hottie?"

She blinks at her mother.

Takes back that thought about it not being horrible.

-x-

Naomi doesn't expect herself to enjoy her date with Freddie. The build up is stressful enough, freaking out about what to wear for an hour or so before finally settling on jeans and a cute top, but then her mother completely embarrasses both her and Freddie when he arrives, going on about how much her daughter has told her about him like Naomi is some kind of obsessed stalker. Then she pulls the stern 'no funny business' routine on Freddie before cracking up laughing, telling him that it's a joke and that she's a 'cool' mum.

Naomi wants to die.

After she gets them both the hell out of there as quickly as possible they catch the bus to the harbour and go to the aquarium, which again surprises Naomi because she doesn't think much of aquariums. She doesn't really care that much about fish, and sharks scare the shit out of her. But Freddie has her giggling the whole time, dragging her around to each display and pointing out the strange fish, making up names for them and spinning hilarious stories about where they live and what they eat. Naomi is laughing so hard she can't breathe sometimes.

After that they stroll along the harbour, and Naomi finds herself appreciating how beautiful the city really is. She hadn't wanted to come to Bristol. Hadn't wanted to leave Melbourne really. The culture there wasn't all that dissimilar to other parts of the UK that she'd lived, but Naomi loved being in Melbourne. All the beautiful gardens and interesting art galleries and hidden alleyways of the city containing whole other worlds. The streets with twenty cafes on each block and the best coffee she's ever tasted. And the beaches. She misses the beaches the most. She hadn't been one to strip down to a bikini in the middle of a crowd during the summer, but she loved finding her own space in the afternoon or evening and sitting by the water. Hearing the rush of the waves as she read her book or simply just stared into space and daydreamed. She missed the beaches.

Leaving Melbourne had been one of the hardest moves she'd ever had to make, though it was made easier by the fact that even after a little less than a year she still didn't really have any friends there. No one to say goodbye to or miss. But Bristol is different, and even though she hasn't been here long she knows it would be hard to leave.

From the harbour they catch another bus to the Clifton Suspension Bridge, which Freddie informs her is legendary in Bristol, and they walk across it, more giggling and joking around as they pretend to throw each other over the sides, getting warned by security to stop misbehaving.

Halfway down the other side of the bridge her hand brushes Freddie's and then a second later he's holding hers in his. Like it's no big deal. And it's not. To her surprise she isn't pulling away or wanting to. She's smiling and gripping back, exchanging an amused smile with him. It's nice. It feels nice to be on a date with a boy on a Saturday night and holding his hand. It's so painfully normal. Makes Naomi feel normal, which is something she wants.

But then she thinks about Emily's hands. Emily's small and delicate hands and what it would be like to hold them in her own, to have them hold her, and the thought causes her to pull her hand away from Freddie's, covering her actions by pretending she needs to fix her hair.

Freddie looks at her sideways and seems a little disappointed but she smiles, and they carry on walking through to the trendy cafe's and boutiques of Clifton Village, a little extra space between them and the mood a little deflated. They keep making small talk though, and when Naomi makes a joke they break up in laughter again, the tension between them dissolving.

But he doesn't reach for her hand again. And Naomi is glad.

The sun sets quickly, and Freddie checks his watch. "It's getting late. We should probably start making our way over to the restaurant. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah," Naomi nods but tries not to be too enthusiastic. She's been starving for an hour now but she didn't want to say anything, especially after the hand dropping incident.

They catch another bus back into the main part of town, and Naomi recognises it from when she'd first arrived with her mum a few weeks ago, but she hasn't been back since. There are clothing and music and book stores, as well as restaurants and cafes littered down the street, and Naomi is glad she's coming back here tomorrow with the girls to have a better look around.

They hop off the bus and Freddie directs her into an inviting looking restaurant, a warm space with a family vibe that Naomi finds comforting. It's a traditional Italian restaurant, with red checked table cloths and candles in the top of wine bottles, but instead of tacky and cliché Naomi finds it lovely and charming. It's loud and busy and crowded with families and couples, the smell of tomato and garlic hanging in the air.

A guy who looks about Freddie's age is working the front, and he grins when he see's Freddie.

"Cuz! Dad didn't say you were coming in tonight."

Freddie shrugs. "The old man is losing it. I called him yesterday."

They shake their heads in unison, and Naomi finds the familiar interaction adorable.

"So who's your friend?"

The boy looks over to Naomi and gives her a friendly smile and she feels her cheeks blushing already.

"This is Naomi," Freddie explains. "Naomi this is my cousin David." He leans closer to her and whispers dramatically. "Don't feel like you need to be nice to him."

David makes to clip him over the head but Freddie is too quick and ducks, and the pair share a wry smile and a laugh.

A pang of longing hits Naomi in the stomach as she observes the cousins. Family is something she's dreamt of having for a long time, ever since her father died.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Naomi," David says with a nod of his head. "Although I don't know why you're here with this dick." He gestures his thumb at Freddie, who rolls his eyes.

"Just show us to our table asshole."

They walk through to the back of the restaurant where there are still a few empty booths that seem to be reserved. Naomi tries to scoot herself into the booth as gracefully as possible, though there's really no such thing, and Freddie seems amused, sliding easily into the opposite side.

David comes back a minute later with some water and menus, before leaving them again.

"This is a nice place," Naomi says as she looks around, feeling the need to make conversation.

Freddie plays with his menu, no doubt knowing the thing back to front.

"Yeah. My uncle's had it since before I was born and I practically grew up in here." He looks back to the double doors of the kitchen. "David and I used to run around back there when we were little. I'm sure it wasn't at all sanitary."

Naomi smiles and imagines how cute Freddie must have been when he was little. His floppy hair and long limbs.

They fall into silence which makes Naomi feel awkward, so she holds up the menu and scans the dishes.

Freddie does the same. "Would it be weird if I ordered seafood after we went to the aquarium today?"

He makes a funny face, and Naomi can't help but giggle. A giggle that dies in her throat when she sees that luminous red that can only mean one thing.

Emily.

Here.

In Freddie's uncle's restaurant.

While Naomi's on a date with Freddie.

She clenches her hands into fists without even knowing it.

"Emily!" she watches David call out in greeting, and at the name Freddie turns around, his face slack with shock. "It's been a while since you last came in."

The redhead hugs David and says hello and something else, and Naomi can only just make out her husky voice. Emily looks to her side and it's then that Naomi notices that the redhead isn't alone. No. She's there with some girl. On a _date _with some girl.

Some slutty fucking girl that Naomi wants to punch in the face.

The realisation knocks the wind out of her, and she looks down at the table, her breathing laboured.

"Why is she here?" she whipers before she thinks she shouldn't.

Freddie turns back to her and shrugs. Doesn't seem too care all that much. "I guess she still comes in here sometimes. They've known Emily for as long as I have. They treat her like family."

She accepts the explanation with a nod of her head, but that's not what she was really asking. She wants to know why Emily is _here_, when she's on a date with Freddie. A date Emily knew about. And the redhead has her own fucking date. Some daft looking blonde girl with an ugly dress.

Naomi suddenly feels very underdressed. She suddenly feels a lot of things.

She looks back over and her breath catches as her eyes meet Emily's. The redhead smirks, and Naomi knows that whatever this is, she's in trouble.

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**dun Dun DUN! **

**I'm almost as confused as Naomi after this chapter...because as I write him I find myself _actually _liking Freddie! I don't even know...*shakes head*...I might even feel bad when he gets his heart kicked in...**

_**Sincere**_** apologies though guys...I really didn't mean to leave you on a cliffhanger, and this chapter was supposed to be much longer and with much less filler, I just didn't have as much time to write as I thought I would, but I still wanted to give you at least something...I promise next chapter shizz will go down! but by "shizz" I don't mean Emily on Naomi...what...too dirrrty? :P **

**The good news is that Blue-Eyed-Blonde90 updated Heart Skipped A Beat...so at least you got something good to read today!**

**Glad some of you liked the music suggestion also...Megan Washington is completely adorable and my new girl crush...I met her at a music festival a few weeks ago and my friend practically had to drag me away from her...eh...at least I made an impression...I also tried to stalk the Mumford & Sons boys and Florence Welch (of Florence + the Machine)...but, no dice...I got distracted by something shiny...perfect example of why you shouldn't take recreational drugs kiddies...they make you sound crazy in front of your musical crush and hinder your stalking abilities...life ruiners! :/**

**Feel free to leave me a review to tell me how annoyed you are at my short Naomily-lacking filler chapter...or you know...leave a nice one to make me feel good and encourage me to reach for the stars?**

**:)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello kiddies! Thanks for your reviews and messages and I hope everyone is doing fan-diddily-tastic! I'm okay, thanks for asking, (and for those of you who didn't: poor form)...sorry for the lack of delay but life has been busy...I ran my 10kms in my fastest time ever yesterday and mostly in the rain (go me!)...and then I went to Maccas with a friend and was practically force fed five cheeseburgers (my friend Travis was trying to flirt with the guy at the counter and he kept needing an excuse to go up there so he kept buying me food, and then the two of them would laugh about what a pig I am and where do I put it all blah blah blah :/ ) Travis pointed out that I didn't have to eat **_**everything**_** but...*shrugs*...I can't let food go to waste...so Travis ended up with the guy's number and I got a stomach ache...now that's taking one for the team :P**

**Hope you all had/have a lovely Father's Day...my dad's doing okay for those of you wondering...he's having another round of chemo so hopefully that helps...but we all had a fun lunch today with lots of playful bickering...my family shows it love for each other with insults...**

**Anyway...back to Naomi's nightmare date...I'm not 100% happy with the standard of this chapter but I thought I better post something...hope you enjoy :)**

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Naomi tries to pay attention to Freddie, tries to focus on the words coming out of his mouth, but her eyes kept flicking over to the redhead and her date at a table across the room. Emily looks like she always does, effortlessly beautiful, like she threw on whatever her eyes saw first but somehow it looks stunning. She seems to have paid a bit more attention to her hair and make-up though, and Naomi hates the idea that Emily is trying to look good for her date with the skank. For her part the skank looks like she's trying to impersonate a Barbie, a short tight dress and overdone big blonde hair. She's pretty, but in an obvious and tacky way that Naomi hates. She thinks the girl doesn't look like Emily's type, not that she really knows what that is, because from what she has seen it just seems to be _girl_.

Emily is sitting opposite the skank at a small table but she's facing Naomi, and every now and then when their eyes meet the redhead simply looks amused. Naomi finds herself vacillating between curiosity and anger, but as the minutes pass she moves closer to anger, simply because she's frustrated with the lack of answers to the questions firing through her brain. She wants to know why Emily is here and if the redhead knew she would be too. Wants to know who that skank with Emily is and why Emily brought her here. Wants to know if Emily is doing this just to mess with Freddie or with her.

She can't help thinking that someone is playing a nasty joke on her...and that maybe that someone is Emily. All of her insecurities bubbling to the surface.

Almost as if to enforce her paranoia, Naomi hears an eruption of laughter from the other side of the restaurant and immediately recognises it as Emily's, throaty and hoarse, as well as an annoyingly high pitched giggle from the skank. Her eyes dart over to them instantly, wondering what it is they are laughing about. Wonders if they're laughing at her. If maybe Emily has told the skank everything about her and now they're laughing at how pathetic she is.

The only thing she's thankful for is that Freddie has no idea she's ever even met Emily. That as far as he knows they've never spoken, and nobody is aware of her various run-ins with the redhead...except maybe the skank. She's glad that no one knows, glad that no one else knows how foolish she feels.

She has a scowl on her face that she can't seem to shake, and Freddie lets her get away with it for a while, continuing to push through forced conversations and letting the noise of the restaurant fill in their silences. But halfway through their mains he drops his fork into his plate, the sound drawing her attention.

"You don't have to stay," he mumbles despondently, "you know...if you're having a shit time. You can go."

Naomi looks at him then, looks at him properly for the first time since Emily and the skank arrived, and finds his eyes studying his plate and his shoulders slumped. She feels like the biggest asshole in the world. Realises that Freddie thinks it's _his_ fault that she's acting this way, that he thinks she's not enjoying the date because of him, when that couldn't be further from the truth. She'd actually been having a wonderful time all afternoon and evening until Emily arrived, and as far as first dates go she'd been quite happy that this was hers, but obviously Freddie had no idea why her mood had suddenly changed. He blames himself. She never considered that someone as popular and easy going as him could ever feel insecure, but looking at him now Naomi can sense how rejected he feels.

Her scowl fades immediately, her chest heavy with the guilt she feels. None of this is Freddie's fault, it's all Emily's fault and Naomi's own confusion, but she can't tell him that. So instead she reaches her hand across the table to cover his, watches as his eyes flick up to hers curiously. She gives him a gentle smile.

"I'm sorry. I've just been a bit distracted with something else."

She can't tell him the truth and she knows she's rubbish at lying, settles for something somewhere in the middle.

Freddie nods, a small smile of understanding on his face. "Is this about Emily?"

Naomi feels her heart fucking stop. Her eyes dart back to his quickly, wide with panic, searching for an explanation.

"I know it's weird that she's here, because you know we used to be friends." He shrugs, doesn't seem bothered by it all that much. "I don't know why she's here, but I wouldn't put it past her to try and ruin our date out of spite."

Naomi exhales the breath she'd been holding, relief relaxing her tense muscles. Unless he's a damn good actor Freddie has no idea she even knows Emily, which is the way she'd like to keep it.

But then she thinks about what Freddie is implying, that Emily being here has nothing to do with messing with her and everything to do with messing with him, and she doesn't know if that makes her feel better or worse. All she knows is that she doesn't want Freddie to know her lacklustre attitude has anything to do with Emily at all.

"No, it's not that," she says shaking her head. "It's just something that's going on with mum." She locks eyes with him and smiles. "I've been having fun, really."

He seems to accept it and smiles in return, his hand turning and folding over hers, squeezing back. His hand is large and warm and covers hers completely, and Naomi thinks that it feels nice. Comforting.

"Do you want to talk about the stuff with your mum?" Freddie asks, his dark eyes warm and sincere. "I might not have any good advice but I'm a good listener."

Naomi feels a rush of affection for him then, because clearly she's been a dick to him for the last hour but he's still being kind and considerate.

"No, it's okay," she says shaking her head. "I'm want to just forget about it and go back to enjoying our date."

He smiles at this, and Naomi finds herself feeling bold.

"Because I am, you know," she looks up at him shyly, "enjoying our date."

And it's mostly the truth. Because running around that afternoon at the aquarium and the bridge had been the most fun she's had in ages, the most fun she can ever remember having. She feels comfortable around Freddie, even though they haven't known each other long, but he just seems like a genuinely nice guy. Someone she might be able to rely on.

He lifts their joined hands then and Naomi knows what he's going to do before he does it, watches as he kisses the back of hers and smiles at her. It's a little forward and something that Naomi would normally find awfully tacky if she were watching it happen to anyone else, except now that it's happening to her she finds it rather charming.

A waiter comes over to top up their drinks, and Naomi looks to her side to say thank you, her eyes scanning across the room and finding Emily's inadvertently. It startles her because for a few minutes she'd managed to forget that the redhead was even there. She feels something twist in her stomach then, because Emily doesn't look amused anymore, not like she has all night. She looks pissed off, her dark eyes narrowed and her mouth a cold line, and Naomi can't help thinking that she's done something wrong, even though she knows she really hasn't.

She looks away and pulls her hand back from Freddie's gently, reaching for her water glass and taking a sip, knowing that flinching out of his grasp would send the wrong message and they'd be back where they'd started. He doesn't seem to take issue with it, picking up his knife and fork again and attempting to restart the conversation.

"So tell me about Australia. I visited Sydney when I was younger but..."

Naomi tries to listen, honestly attempts to pay attention again, but she swears she can feel Emily's eyes on her, feel the weight of her glare. She can't stop her own eyes from flicking back over to the redhead, no matter how much she tries to force herself not to. She's drawn to her like a magnet.

When she does finally look she finds Emily reaching across the table and stroking the skank's cheek in a way that seems so tender and gentle that Naomi feels like the air has been sucked out of her lungs. Feels another twist in her stomach. Emily isn't being aggressive and brash with this girl, not like she usually is. Naomi thinks about the time she freaked out in the library about her dad and how gentle and concerned Emily had been then, how different to how she normally behaved every other time Naomi saw her, and she had stupidly thought that maybe Emily was only that way with her. Obviously not.

The truth is like a punch in the stomach, and she can't seem to catch her breath. Can't seem to slow her thumping heart beat.

"I'm just going to go to the restroom," she says with a forced smile, struggling to keep her voice steady.

Freddie nods and points out where they are and she moves through the restaurant to them quickly, brushing past a waitress hastily and almost knocking her over, not stopping to help her and throwing an apology over her shoulder.

She bursts through into the restroom, relieved to find it empty, and leans her hands onto the sides of the sink. She drops her head and concentrates on breathing in and out, a concept that seems foreign to her body at the moment.

She tells herself that she has to stop doing this. Has to stop living in some kind of Emily fantasy world in her head where the redhead actually cares about her. Actually likes her. It's looking more and more likely that Emily is playing some sort of game to mess with Freddie, or even just to mess with the new girl. Either way Naomi looks at it, really looks at it without her Emily-tinted glasses on, she knows that she needs to stop hoping for something that isn't going to happen.

She hears the door open and the sound of the restaurant float in, closes her eyes and sighs, wishing for another minute to herself.

"Having fun?"

Her head whips up instantly at the husky voice. She stands up straight and turns to the side to find Emily staring back at her, that amused glint back in her eyes.

She feels her breath catch in her throat, then anger surging through her body. She's sick of Emily's games. Narrows her eyes and steels herself.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

The redhead doesn't seem fazed by her harsh tone and words, simply shrugging casually.

"I was thinking of taking a piss if you must know."

Naomi scoffs, not in the mood for bullshit, despite the playfully teasing smile Emily is giving her.

"I meant _here_." She waves back out in the direction she'd just come in from. "At Freddie's family restaurant. Why are you here?"

Emily simply shrugs, looks her right in the eye, her voice low when she says, "Why do you think?"

Naomi feels her stomach flip again, that hope that Emily actually likes her not willing to die, some small voice in the back of her head whispering 'she's here because she likes you'.

A small voice that gets crushed a second later.

"I'm here to eat," Emily adds, taking a step further into the room and forcing Naomi to turn around to face her.

Naomi crosses her arms over her chest and leans back against the sink. Fires another question.

"Did you know I'd be here with Freddie?"

"No."

She stares at Emily hard, and eventually a sly smile graces the redhead's lips.

Naomi finds herself growing more irate at how amusing Emily finds all of this.

"Okay, so I thought you might be. Freddie usually takes his dates here."

The confession troubles Naomi for two reasons, the first being that Emily did know she would be here and brought that girl with her, the second being that her whole date with Freddie might have been a routine that he's tried with lots of other girls. She cares much more about the first reason right now.

"So why did you come if you knew we would be here?" She pushes off the sink and stands up tall, feeling herself gain some sort of power in the argument as she towers over the redhead. "And why did you bring some girl?"

She regrets it as soon as the question leaves her lips, as soon as she watches Emily's eyes narrow and the smirk on her lips grow. She knows she's given too much, exposed too much about how she's really feeling, the power shifting back to the redhead.

Emily steps toward her, and Naomi rests back against the sink again, uncomfortable with being so close to her.

"Why do you care that I'm with some girl?"

"I don't."

The words sound weak coming out of her mouth, and she's sure that Emily knows it's a lie, but the redhead doesn't push the matter. Instead she moves over to the sink next to Naomi, paralleling her posture and resting against it.

Naomi is very aware of how close she is standing to her. Knows that if she moved to her right a little their arms would be touching. She can still remember how her skin hummed each time Emily has touched her. How it sent a thrilling shiver rippling through her body.

Shuffles to the left just to be careful.

"So are you having fun with your new boyfriend?"

Emily's tone is soft and curious rather than the accusing it has been, and Naomi turns and blinks at her, confused at the rapid change in the conversation and Emily's suddenly relaxed demeanour.

"He's not my boyfriend," is the first thing she says, mostly because it's the first thing that comes to mind. She doesn't want Emily thinking that she and Freddie are more than they are.

She tries to gauge Emily's reaction, but as usual the redhead doesn't give anything away, so Naomi decides to go on the offence.

"Are you having fun with your girlfriend?"

The image of Emily gently caressing that skank's cheek flashes in her mind and her stomach twists again.

She isn't expecting it when Emily sighs wistfully and shakes her head.

"Not really."

The answer throws Naomi off balance, and she turns to face the redhead, her brow furrowed equally with curiosity and confusion.

"She's not the sharpest tool in the shed," Emily continues. "Doesn't even know who Gordon Brown is. She thought I was talking about Gordon Ramsay."

Emily shakes her head again and turns her head to meet Naomi's gaze, the blonde finding herself grinning along with her.

"Hold on," Naomi holds up a hand. "Why were you talking about Gordon Brown? That's not exactly date conversation."

"I was making a joke."

Emily rolls her eyes, a small throaty chuckle escaping.

"So clearly a date isn't going well when I'm cracking jokes about ex-Prime Ministers."

Naomi feels her heart swell a little, buoyed by the news that Emily doesn't actually like her date. That little spark of hope flickers inside her again, though she tries not to pay attention to it. Doesn't want to get her hopes up just to have them dashed again.

"She thinks that Belgium is a city in Germany."

Naomi tries to stifle her laughter but fails, the two of them chuckling for a moment, and it strikes her then how strange this conversation has been, the two of them now laughing about Emily's dumb date. She marvels at how relaxed she can feel in Emily's presence, while at the same time feel completely on edge.

But her laughter only lasts a few seconds longer, because in the next moment Naomi finds her eyes trailing down to the redhead's chest, watching as her breasts bounce up and down quickly as Emily laughs.

She feels her whole body tense, her laughter dying in her throat and her face sobering.

Remembers that she doesn't just want to be Emily's _friend_.

She tries to recover quickly, tries to fix her smile back in place, but when she drags her eyes back up to Emily's it's obvious that the redhead noticed.

Emily stares back at her intently but with an expression Naomi can't read, and she finds her own eyes flicking down to the floor, holding her arms tighter over her chest.

They stand in silence for another moment, and Naomi can feel the tension thickening so fast that he knows that if she doesn't get out of this small Emily-filled room she'll suffocate.

"I guess I better get back out there."

She doesn't move for a second, some part of her still unsure about whether she actually wants to leave, but then her legs finally wake up and she moves toward the door.

Something catches her wrist and tugs her back, and Naomi knows it has to be Emily before she turns back to face her. Finds the redhead staring at her with something that looks a lot like regret.

Emily takes a step closer to her so that their bodies are half a foot apart, and Naomi's heart is thumping so loud in her ears that she's sure the redhead can hear it. Emily's still grasping her wrist, and Naomi can feel her skin burning. She briefly wonders what it would be like if Emily touched her in other places, the thought making her blush.

They stand like that for a brief moment, their eyes locked and the silence heavy with everything that Naomi wants to say, but neither of them speaks. She tries to look away but she can't bring herself to, her gaze held by Emily's.

It's not until the redhead's hand starts to move around Naomi's that the blonde realises that she's been holding her wrist this whole time. Emily shifts her hand down and folds it around Naomi's until their fingers interlink, and when the redhead's thumb brushes against the back of her hand gently she can't suppress the shiver that runs down her spine.

In some ways it's not as intimate as the way Emily caressed her date's cheek but in other ways Naomi knows that it means a lot more, as does the look in the redhead's eyes when she looks up from their joined hands and offers her a small smile. A smile that makes Naomi's heart feel full, because even though she doesn't really know Emily at all, she knows it's a genuine Emily smile. Not her usual smirk or exaggerated grin. It's honest.

And Naomi is torn between wanting to stand there like this forever and wanting to run out the door. It's all gotten a lot more serious and intense than anything she's ever felt before, and she can't stand that she feels herself quickly losing control of her own body and thoughts.

But her feet are held in place when Emily leans toward her and lifts herself up on her toes, Naomi's heart almost stopping completely as the redhead's soft lips lightly brush her cheek.

She hears herself gasp. Wants to cringe with embarrassment but doesn't get the chance, her body already reacting to Emily's mouth moving across to her ear, her soft breath tickling as she whispers, "You deserve someone better than Freddie."

Emily smells like soap and cigarettes and Naomi instantly decides that that's her favourite smell in the world. Thinks that being this close to a girl she likes should be paralysing, but instead she just wants to pull Emily closer to her.

She never has the chance because suddenly Emily is gone, her mouth moved away and her hand taken back, and Naomi looks up to find the redhead smirking at her, winking once before walking right out the door without another word.

She stands there dumbfounded, staring at the ground with her eyes darting around wildly, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Her breath is shallow and she inhales deeply to calm herself, practically falls back against the sink again.

She has no idea what the fuck that was.

She turns around and twists the tap on, the cool water soothing the skin of her hands that feels like it's on fire. She pats her wet fingers on her cheeks to cool down, aware of the fact that she's washing off Emily's kiss.

Emily's kiss.

The thought of it makes her stomach flip again, a small smile tugging up her lips. _Emily kissed me_.

_Emily._

_Kissed._

_Me._

She knows it was only on the cheek, but to Naomi it means more than any kiss she's ever had, which is really only Freddie. Closes her eyes and can still feel Emily's lips lightly pressed against her cheek. Opens them again to find herself looking in the mirror, a dazed smile on her face.

The smile fades though as she starts to ponder what Emily meant when she whispered in her ear. Wants to think that maybe it was something close to an offer, an invitation from the redhead. Naomi's just not sure what she's being invited to.

The other possibility isn't as lovely and hopeful, and that's that this is again all part of some plan to get back at Freddie. The possibility of that being true deflates Naomi instantly, because she knows that Emily hates Freddie and that she came here to ruin their date.

If she's being honest with herself it seems a far more likely scenario.

It's then that the real world comes smashing back to her, and she realises that she's been in the restroom for a remarkably long time, long enough for Freddie to be wondering if she's legged it. She starts to panic then, because she doesn't know how she's supposed to go back out there and act normal on her date with Freddie when Emily is sitting across the room.

She takes a deep breath and resigns herself to the fact that she has no choice, before pushing through the door and back out into the bustle of the restaurant.

Her eyes search for Emily's fire-red hair almost automatically, glancing over to her table to find it empty. She's not sure if she's relieved or not, decides she's not when images of what Emily and the skank might be doing right now flash through her mind.

She shakes them away and walks back to her table, a little unsteady on her shakey legs, thankful that Freddie's seat is facing away from the restrooms so he wouldn't have known Emily was even in there.

She finds him texting on his phone, and he looks up at her with relief when she takes her seat, quickly followed by a look of confusion.

"Sorry I was a while," she offers lamely, her brain too clouded to come up with anything other than a feeble, "I wasn't feeling too good."

She cringes internally at what she's just implied and watches as Freddie's expression shifts from curious to concerned.

It reminds her that he doesn't deserve any of this. Doesn't deserve the way she's treated him all throughout dinner, and that he's been nothing but kind and generous to her since they'd met. Guilt settles in her stomach again and she tries to think of a way to stop this before it gets worse, relieved when Freddie offers an end to the evening.

"Are you okay? Should I take you home?"

"I think that might be best."

They take the bus back to the stop near her house and Freddie walks by her side, minimal conversation passing between them. She hopes he's putting it down to her not feeling well and not blaming himself again.

It's when she's replaying Emily's whispered words into her ear for the hundreth time already that Naomi realises she still doesn't know why Emily hates Freddie. Not really. She can't stop herself from asking.

"What happened between you and Emily?"

She looks up at him then, her gaze strong and unwavering, and Freddie must sense that he can't blow her off again because he slows his pace slightly and sighs.

"We were best friends since we were four," he begins, his voice low and sombre, eyes focused straight ahead. "We did everything together, lived in each other's pockets...I thought I knew everything about her, so when I found out she was gay it kind of shocked the fuck out of me you know."

Naomi nods even though Freddie can't see her, and he sighs again and slips his hands into his pockets.

"I didn't react very well when she told me. I acted like a bit of a tit to be honest, not very supportive at all. I just wasn't there for her like I should have been. I mean we were only fourteen..."

He trails off then and Naomi knows he's lost in a memory. She gives him time with it, waiting silently for him to continue. She couldn't miss the regret and sadness in his voice as he spoke, and though she feels for Emily in this situation too she can't help thinking that Freddie isn't exactly the villain she's made him out to be.

The silence stretches on for another minute and Naomi realises that they're standing at the gate outside her house.

"I tried to make it up to her but she hated me, rightly so I guess. And then all that stuff happened with her family and everything just got a whole lot worse. She's never been able to forgive me. I don't think she ever will."

He shrugs dejectedly and glances around, a look of recognition on his face when he notices they're at her house.

"I guess this is where I leave you."

Naomi nods, shuffling her feet around nervously and trying not to meet his gaze. She doesn't want him to kiss her goodnight, and it looks like he's debating it with himself.

He must get the message because he leans over and kisses her on the cheek quickly, the same cheek that Emily kissed and Naomi almost wants to laugh at how ridiculous the situation is.

He pulls back and smiles at her, but it's nowhere near how bright it usually is and it's coloured with the slightest sadness.

Naomi takes a step back through the gate and offers her own small smile. "Thanks for tonight. I'm sorry it got cut short."

Freddie shrugs, his hands still in his pockets. "I hope you're feeling better tomorrow."

"Thanks. I'll see you Monday."

"Yeah. Night."

It feels awkward and strained but Naomi has no choice but to smile tightly and turn back towards her house, Freddie watching as she does.

She rolls her eyes and cringes when she catches her mother standing at the window waving. Hopes Freddie's hasn't seen her even though she knows he probably has.

She walks through the front door and locks it behind her, closing the door on what has been without a doubt the strangest night of her life.

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**Hmmm...do we think Freddie's telling the truth? **

**Okay...I think I've teased you long enough...so next chapter we find out Emily's side of the story...one mystery solved! And there might even be some real Naomily kissage! Get ready for the sleigh-ride into Naomily angst peeps...it's going to be a bloodbath...emotionally speaking of course...**

**Thoughts? Comments? Hate mail? Press that review button and send them my way...you know you wanna...**

**:) **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Big thanks to all my readers and reviewers and especially my loyal anonymous reviewers who I can never reply to...just know that I love you all like pie...or apple crumble...mmm...I'm going to make some apple crumble...om nom nom...**

**So, remember way back in my author's note in chapter two when I said I had epic plans for this fic? Yeah...what I meant to say was that I think I have a pretty cool idea...and not much else...so I thought I had a rough plan for what this chapter would be...and then I started writing it and this happened...don't hate me...**

**(It's late and I'm hella tired, so hopefully this isn't the complete shit I think it is :/ )**

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Her mum is at her the moment she steps through the door, a delighted grin on the older woman's face.

"So that's Freddie huh? He is a cutie. I didn't see a goodnight kiss though."

She lifts her eyebrows up and down a couple of times and Naomi huffs and rolls her eyes, not dignifying the statement with a verbal response as she makes her way into the kitchen.

"You're home earlier than I thought you would be," her mum continues to pester her, following her into the room.

Naomi checks the time on the microwave and sees that it's only just gone eight, feels like some sort of dating loser being home so early. Although it's definitely an improvement on her usual Saturday nights.

"I wasn't feeling well," she offers as an explanation, finding it easiest to continue the lie. "Nothing bad, just a bit of a stomach ache," she adds as an afterthought, not wanting her mum to get concerned. "I think I might go lie down."

"Okay."

She wants to avoid any more questions about her date with Freddie, but still she feels guilty when she hears the disappointment in her mother's voice, sees that shadow of sadness in her eyes that has made an appearance every now and then since her dad died. She knows her mum had been hoping that she would come home and they'd gab for hours about everything that happened on her date, the same way she regaled her reluctant daughter with everything after her dates. Naomi knows that's the type of daughter her mum wants.

The thought makes her stop, and she turns back to her mother with a small smile. She can give her this.

"Maybe we can have a cup of tea first?"

Her mum's face lights up. "Of course," she says as she turns and busies herself with filling up the kettle and putting the tea bags and sugar in the mugs.

Naomi takes a deep breath, leaves her bag on the bench and walks over to the table, taking her usual seat and picking at her nails. They're a deep purple to match the top she's wearing, though she's chipped half of it off during the day while she was fidgeting nervously.

Her contacts are rubbing her eyes raw so she pops them out, her sight extra blurry because of them but she doesn't mind. In truth she'd rather wear her glasses than contacts, but even though she has more stylish ones now she hates wearing her glasses in public, self-conscious thanks to a childhood filled with teasing and bullying.

"So what did you two end up doing?"

Her mum walks over with the mugs balanced precariously, sloshing Naomi's a little when she places it in front of her, though she doesn't seem to care. She's never been one for cleanliness and order, something that has driven Naomi crazy ever since she was little, especially since she was the type of child who'd alphabetised her books since she was five and ordered her toys according to height.

She picks up a napkin and mops it up, and she's about to answer the question when there's a knock at the door.

"Who the hell could that be?" her mum asks whipping her head around to the door and spilling her coffee in the process. "Fuck!"

Naomi leans back in her chair to avoid the splatter, then jumps out of her chair to grab the paper towels.

"Here," she says passing them to her mum, "I'll get the door."

Her mum busies herself with the paper towels and Naomi makes her way out of the kitchen, doubling back to grab her glasses from the bench so that she can actually see who's at the door. She walks to the front of the house wondering who it might be, the terrifying thought that it could be Freddie only occurring to her as she turns the door handle. It's only been a few minutes so he may have come back for something, _hopefully not a goodnight kiss_, she thinks to herself.

So her heart is already beating out of her chest as she opens the door, a big part of her hoping that it's not Freddie, but she's pretty sure her heart actually stops for a second when a gust of cool wind helps pull the door back and the person behind it is revealed.

Emily Fitch. At her house.

Naomi blinks in disbelief.

The redhead is smiling sheepishly, her damp looking red hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, her face free of make-up. A casual t-shirt and jeans on. She looks nothing like she did not even half an hour ago. In fact she looks like she's just gotten out of the shower, and the image of Emily in the shower paralyses Naomi for a second, before she shakes the thoughts away and comes back to reality.

Emily on her doorstep.

It's both surreal and frightening, and a million questions bombard her brain, the most important rolling off her tongue.

"What are you doing here?"

She doesn't think she's unhappy to see her exactly, but she doesn't like surprises, and this makes her feel even more out off balance than Emily normally does. Her hand grips the door handle tighter and she rests her weight against it to keep herself steady.

"And how do you know where I live?"

Emily's smile curls into a smirk, and she lets out a short husky chuckle, the sound hitting Naomi low in her stomach and warming her body in the cold. She really likes Emily's laugh.

"I didn't know you wear glasses."

Naomi freezes then, realises that they're still on her head, ripping them from her face a second later and holding them so tight in her hand that she almost crushes them.

"Oh, I don't...I mean...I do...but I wear contacts most of the time."

She closes her eyes and cringes at her own nervous stuttering, then realises that Emily is watching all of this and opens her eyes again, finds the redhead still smirking back at her.

They stand there like that for a moment, Naomi smiling nervously while the redhead smirks back, the tension between them obvious.

Naomi's brain is clouded with thoughts, from pressing matters such as what Emily is doing at her front door to more trivial but equally riveting observations like how pretty Emily's hair looks with the pale light of the moon bouncing off it.

"You should wear your glasses more often," Emily says finally, her voice low and gravelly. "They look nice."

Naomi blushes and looks down, embarrassed by the compliment, but more so by the fact that it came from Emily.

"Naomi? Who is it?" she hears her mum yell from the kitchen.

She turns to yell over her shoulder. "Just someone from school mum. I'll just be outside for a few minutes."

She turns back to face Emily, finds the redhead standing back on the edge of the porch lighting a cigarette and then staring up into the sky. Takes a deep breath and grabs her jacket that's hanging on the back of the door before closing it behind her and stepping out to stand beside her.

She shrugs on her jacket and they stay like that for a moment, Emily staring at the night sky and Naomi doing the same, the redhead taking a drag every now and then as a tension filled silence settles them.

Every few seconds her eyes drift down to the redhead at her side, studying her profile with fleeting glances; the slope of her button nose and the curve of her lips, and after the fifth or sixth time she's startled to find Emily staring back, an unreadable expression on her face.

"What are you doing here?"

The words tumble out of her mouth without much thought, her voice wavering slightly from the almost unbearable anxiety swirling in her stomach. It strikes her once again that Freddie doesn't make her feel this way. In fact she can't remember anyone ever making her feel quite like this, so thrilled and terrified at the same time.

Emily exhales a long cloud of smoke and shrugs. "I wanted to see how your date ended up."

Naomi thinks back to the restaurant with Freddie and it feels like a lifetime ago now, then to their innocent kiss-free goodnight. She wouldn't exactly call it a success. She doubted Freddie would either. But the thoughts lead her to Emily's date, and suddenly she realises why Emily might've needed to take a shower.

The idea of Emily fucking that girl tenses Naomi instantly, and she crosses her arms over her chest.

"How did _yours_?" she fires back, her voice tight.

Emily seems to notice the change in her tone, her brow furrowing slightly, but she doesn't react any further.

"I told her that I had to go home because I left a tap running in my house and no one else is home."

"And she believed that?"

Emily scoffs. "No. She knew I was fucking her off. Turns out she's not quite as stupid as we thought."

They share a smile then, and Naomi feels relief flood her body and relax her muscles with the knowledge that nothing happened between the two of them.

She lets her arms fall to her sides and slips her hands into her jacket pockets for warmth. Feels rather than sees Emily shuffle her feet and move a fraction closer so that their arms are just barely touching. Both girls stare out into the front garden, overgrown with wild flowers and weeds that her mother has grand plans for but Naomi knows nothing will ever happen.

She hears Emily moving and then a pack of cigarettes is being offered to her.

She looks over her shoulder into the house, aware that her mum could catch her, but she takes one anyway. Leans closer to Emily as she holds out the lighter for her.

She takes a drag and feels her eyes start to water as the smoke burns her lungs. Asks herself again why she's doing it and only coming up with one word. Emily. An overwhelming need to impress the redhead.

"Are you going to go out with Freddie again?"

She turns to look at Emily, but the redhead keeps her gaze forward, another cloud of smoke floating from her mouth and disappearing into the night. She thinks hard about how to answer the question. Doesn't know how much she'll be giving away. Decides to stick to what she knows – vague non-committal answers.

"I don't know."

Emily nods, seems to take a moment to think of what to say next. "Do you want to?"

The easy answer is no. She doesn't want to go out with Freddie on another date. Doesn't want to mislead him and have him think that she wants to be his girlfriend. But she did have fun with him until Emily arrived, so maybe the complicated answer is _probably not because I want to go out with you_.

But she can't possibly be that honest with Emily. Not when she has no idea what Emily is feeling or what her intentions are.

"I don't know...maybe."

Emily turns and looks at her then, her eyes narrow and her mouth pinched, and Naomi wants to think she's made Emily jealous.

"Did he tell you what he did to me?"

Emily glares at her and Naomi shuffles backwards from the force of it, unsure of whether Emily is angry with her or with Freddie. Wants to think it's Freddie.

"Yeah, he did," she croaks out, her voice cracking under the weight of Emily's glare. She takes another nervous drag.

He redhead stares at her expectantly, and Naomi finds her lips saying words before her brain can comprehend them.

"I mean I know it was bad...what he did...acting like a bit of an asshole...but...he told me how sorry he is..."

She watches as Emily squares her shoulders, her face contorting with anger, but Naomi can't stop her mouth from spewing words, trying to come up with some that will make Emily's face go back to normal.

"...and you know...he said how young you were...and how he wishes he could make it up to you...and I know it must've been hard for your best friend to act like that...but he really does feel bad about it."

Finally she manages to shut herself up, just in time to notice how agitated Emily has become, her face scrunched and her shoulders rising and falling quickly with shallow breaths. Naomi shuffles backwards slightly. Once again the redhead seems so much bigger than she actually is, her barely contained anger feeling like it's pressing down on Naomi's chest. Only gets worse when Emily steps toward her.

"Acting a like a bit of an asshole?" Emily mimics her words, her tone harsh and mocking. "It must have been hard for me? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Naomi blinks furiously. Doesn't know how all this went so wrong so quickly. Wants to run back inside and get away because she doesn't like this Emily who looks at her like she's no one.

But she's pinned down by Emily's rage, her feet no longer working.

"So you're on his side now?"

"I'm not on anyone's side," she says shaking her head, wanting to reach out to the redhead but not feeling like she can.

"I can't fucking believe this. _He_ feels bad about it does he? Never mind how I fucking feel. Never mind what fucking happened to _me_."

Her voice breaks on the last word and Naomi quickly realises that something is missing here, that she's missing something because Emily is angrier than she's ever seen anyone.

But then right before her eyes the girl in front of her seems to shrink. Folding into herself as her anger dissipates and her energy deflates. She looks small again. Smaller than she normally is. And sad. But mostly hurt, and it tugs at Naomi's heart to think that she did that. That she has made Emily feel this way.

The redhead keeps her head low but looks up at her through her eyelashes.

"I thought you weren't like them," Emily says softly, her voice laced with pain. "I thought you were different."

And Naomi almost can't bear to look back at her because the redhead's eyes are filled with tears and she knows it's her fault. Feels her stomach knot with guilt.

She opens her mouth to apologise, to tell Emily that she doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about and that she is different, but the redhead is already storming down the steps and away from her.

She wants to run after her but her legs are paralysed, wants call out to her but her voice catches in her throat. So she watches Emily's back as she retreats into the night, the redhead never looking over her shoulder as she stalks off down the street.

Naomi feels her heart slamming against her rib cage, adrenaline pumping through her body making her hands shake. Or it could be the cigarette, which she drops to the ground and mashes out with her shoe. She's never had an argument like that with anyone before, not even her mum. It's a side of Emily that she hasn't seen before, and it frightens her a little. The way the redhead exploded on her.

She watches after Emily for a few minutes even though the redhead is long gone, then finally manages to move her feet and walk back inside on shaky legs. Leans her back against the door, closes her eyes and takes deep breaths, grabbing at the bottom of her jacket because she feels like she needs something to hold onto. There's so much about what just happened that she doesn't understand, starting with why Emily was on her doorstep in the first place. Or how she knew where she lived. Not to mention the stuff with Freddie.

It takes a couple of minutes, but she finally feels her heart slowing and her breathing returning to a steady rhythm. She doesn't like this. Hates feeling like this. She's used to being in control. Used to the quiet routine of her life. It's been that way since her dad died and she learnt quickly that the only person she can rely on is herself. She can't depend on anyone else for anything. That's a one way ticket to disappointment and pain. So she's used to her life being a certain way, staying to herself and keeping her head down, doing what she needs to do to get through. It's comfortable and mundane and predictable which is exactly how she likes it.

Except ever since she's been in Bristol that's all gone to shit.

-x-

"I swear to fucking god he actually said that to me!"

Katie shrieks with laughter at her own story, Effy and Panda joining in, and Naomi finds herself chuckling along too, despite her somewhat sombre mood.

The four of them are sitting in a cafe in town having coffee after an afternoon of shopping. Naomi hadn't really wanted to go, especially since the only thing she could think about was last night. They'd asked the typical questions about what her and Freddie did and if they kissed and if they're going to go out again, and Naomi had answered them with a lot of forced cheer, leaving things vague and not mentioning Emily at all. She'd gotten through it mostly unscathed, and after that she actually found herself enjoying the excursion, the other girls' various dramas proving a useful distraction from her own. Especially Katie's story from last night.

"He seriously leant down to my ear and whispered," Katie lowers her voice and covers one side of her mouth to imitate his actions, "I believe you are what you eat, and in the morning I want to be you."

Katie continues to laugh loudly while Effy shakes her head in disbelief, Naomi vaguely aware of the looks they're getting from annoyed patrons around them. It also strikes her how different Katie's laugh is to Emily's, and she feels a knot in her stomach tighten. She can never stop thinking about her for too long.

She notices that Panda is quiet, a confused look on her face.

"Hold on. I don't get it Katie. How in the heck is he going to be you?"

Effy rolls her eyes while Katie continues to giggle and Naomi stifles her own laughter. She's glad that at least someone knows less than her.

Effy leans across and whispers something in Panda's ear, the blonde's eyes circling wide a second later.

"Blimey. I didn't even know that they do that."

The girls giggle again, Panda looking both fearful and intrigued, and Effy shrugs her shoulders, her blue eyes glinting with amusement.

"I don't know, it's not the worst invitation I've ever had. Did you take him up on it?"

Katie scoffs. "Fuck no. He was a mong. Maybe if he had've been well fit."

She knows it shouldn't but sometimes it still shocks Naomi how blasé Katie and Effy are about sex. Emily too, obviously. Everyone around her really. They all seem to be throwing it away, something Naomi can't understand. She knows she doesn't have a lot of experience, or none really, but she can't imagine having sex with just anyone. Right now she can't imagine herself having sex with anyone at all.

"Well bitches, it's been lovely," Katie announces as she gets to her feet, soothing her skirt out as she stands. "But I've got some dinner thing for my dad's gym that he wants me to come along to, because someone has to represent the Fitch children."

Naomi notices the sadness in Katie's eyes, finds it odd that the brunette seems to alternate between hating Emily and feeling the grief of their estrangement. She can see the similarities between the twins now, Katie's sorrow looking a lot like Emily's did last night, the memory tightening the knot in Naomi's stomach.

"I might take the bus with you Katie," Panda says as she jumps out of her seat, the thin fluoro plastic bangles on her arms clanking together. "Mum doesn't want me staying out past five when we've got college tomorrow."

Naomi opens her mouth to add her own excuse to leave, ready to go home and craving the comfort of her own room, but Effy beats her to it.

"Naomi and I might just stay for another coffee. We'll see you guys tomorrow."

Effy stares at her pointedly with one eyebrow raised, and Naomi knows she can't argue, farewelling her friends with a nervous smile because Effy is clearly up to something but she has no idea what.

They sit in silence for a few seconds, Naomi feeling the tension between them as her eyes dart around nervously, everything around them suddenly quiet. She can feel Effy staring and she finally turns to face her, the brunette's piercing gaze unsettling her. She has this strange way of looking at Naomi and making her feel like she knows all of her secrets. Sometimes it scares the shit out of her.

"Freddie said that Emily was at the restaurant last night."

Naomi's breath hitches in her chest, her eyes widening in shock briefly before she neutralises her expression again. It's too late though because of course Effy noticed, a smirk playing on the brunette's lips.

"Yeah, she was," Naomi says uncertainly, trying to figure out where the conversation is going. "When did you talk to Freddie?"

"I ran into him this morning," Effy says casually, crossing her knees and leaning back into her chair. "He thinks you don't really like him."

Naomi shifts in her seat under observant blue eyes, struggles to figure out the best thing to say. She knows Effy is technically her friend but they've only known each other for two weeks and the brunette has more loyalty to Freddie, so she knows she has to tread carefully.

"I don't know. I mean, he seems like a nice guy but...then I hear that he's done something horrible to his best friend."

Effy eyes her carefully, seemingly taking time to come to some sort of judgement.

"Have you met Emily?"

"No," Naomi answers quickly, knowing that it sounds like an obvious lie. "I mean I have...but I don't really know her. We're not friends or anything."

She struggles to keep her voice steady as her heart races.

"Did Freddie tell you what happened?"

"No," she lies again, much more convincingly this time, because Effy seems to buy it.

Silence stretches between them again and Naomi starts to wonder if she should say anything, looks across to her friend and finds her staring into space deep in thought.

"Those two were best friends," the brunette begins suddenly, Naomi nodding her head, encouraging her to continue. "Like cradle to grave best friends. Since they met in kindergarten. I didn't meet them until middle school, but I'd never seen two closer friends. People used to joke that they'd get married one day. I think Freddie always had a crush on her."

She pauses to lean forward and take a sip of her coffee, Naomi eager for her to go on but taking a moment to process the information. She can't imagine Freddie having a crush on Emily, although the more she thinks about it, it doesn't seem so crazy. Something about the look on his face when he explained it last night seems to fit.

"I don't know every detail of what happened," Effy continues, a pained shadow across her face, "but I know that he was the first person Emily ever told that she's gay."

Naomi nods, aware of this information.

"Freddie kind of flipped out, like _really_ flipped out. He told his parents and then he told Emily's parents too, and they're not exactly what you'd call tolerant. And then everyone at school found out too, so Emily copped heaps from the other kids. She was like the first proper out gay person any of us knew. They used to bully her and push her around, call her names and mess with her stuff. Emily tried to stick up for herself and give it back to them which just made it worse. One time some kids from another school roughed her up pretty bad. Not like hospital bad, but she was pretty black and blue...her skin scraped up and stuff."

Naomi's eyes widen in shock, images of a small fourteen year old Emily being beaten up almost unbearable to think about, the knot in the pit of her stomach tightening further. She thinks about what she said to Emily last night, her stupid and naive comments that made her sound so flippant about the situation. No wonder Emily had blown up at her.

But her sympathy for the redhead quickly turns to rage at Freddie.

"How...how can you be friends with him?" she stutters out, barely able to control her simmering anger.

Effy sighs, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Telling everyone, that's his fault. That was a shit thing to do. The bullying and everything else isn't his fault. He never did any of that."

Naomi opens her mouth to argue that he shouldn't have told anyone in the first place, but Effy holds up her hand, pre-empting her retort.

"I know it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't told everyone, but it's not his fault some kids are assholes."

Effy holds her gaze then and Naomi is breathing furiously, unable to understand how the brunette can be so forgiving. She can't imagine anyone doing what Freddie did to Emily. Betraying her on that level. She doesn't know how you could forgive someone for that. Understands Emily's hatred completely.

"He tried to make it better once he realised what he'd done," Effy adds gently, obviously sensing her anger. "He told everyone to back off and even got suspended from school once for beating up this idiot in our class who was harassing Emily. He tried to apologise but she hasn't spoken to him since. Not a single word."

And as bad as Naomi feels about what happened between Emily and Freddie all she can think about is last night. About the look in Emily's eyes when she had blathered on about Freddie being sorry. The emotion in her voice when she said that Naomi was just like the rest of them. Now she knows who the rest of them are, and she feels sick that Emily thinks of her that way. She feels her legs twitching. Wants to stand up and find the redhead, apologise and let her know that she's nothing like those assholes that picked on her.

"Like I said I don't know the whole story," Effy says with a sad smile, "for that you might have to ask Emily."

Naomi nods, that being the very thing she intends on doing.

-x-

She's sitting at the bus stop, freezing her ass off in the cold as she waits for the next one to take her home. She hadn't stayed much longer in the cafe with Effy after her revelations, the two of them deciding to call it a day which Naomi is relieved by. She wants to go home. Wants to feel the comfort of her own room now that her world seems to be spinning. All she can think about is Emily. Tiny little Emily being rejected by her friends and her family. Although when she thinks about it, it doesn't really makes sense that that's why Katie and her don't get along, especially since Katie told her that wasn't the reason. At the moment it doesn't matter though, because she's consumed with the need to speak to Emily, to explain herself.

And it's then that the very object of her thoughts comes waltzing down the street, Naomi's heart leaping out of her chest until she notices that silly blonde girl from the night before at her side, the two of them laughing and talking animatedly.

She feels like she's going to vomit, watching Emily look so amused and smiling so brightly, and she doesn't quite understand it. Doesn't really need to though when Emily pulls the blonde girl to a stop and kisses her in the middle of the street.

Naomi feels her stomach plummet to the pavement, an ache in her gut that feels like it'll never go away, and she reminds herself that this is why she doesn't get involved. This horrible feeling in her stomach. Because this is what comes of caring about someone else.

And she doesn't want it.

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**Okay...so I know what you're all thinking – WHERE'S THE NAOMILY KISSING!**

**I swear to god I have **_**no**_** control over what Emily does...I think she's going to zig and she zags...I think she's going to kiss Naomi and then she ends up with another random slutty girl! It's all a mystery to me...and I realise this makes me sound crazy, (which I guess from my author's notes you kinda already know I am), but seriously, I plan to write something and then it changes...she's so damn enigmatic that even I don't know what she's going to do next!**

**BUT...having said that, I can tell you 100%-without-a-doubt-cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die that there WILL BE KISSING in the next chapter...maybe even some over the bra action, lol...so...don't hate me :/ Also, I hope you pay little attention to the way I write Effy...her character is clearly beyond my abilities. What's that you say? They're all beyond my abilities? Ahaha shut up :P**

**So yeah...**_**one**_** Emily mystery sort of solved...more next chapter...Freddie was a bit of a fuckface really...I still can't help thinking that he really does feel bad about it...hmmm...we'll see...**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on the whole Freddie/Emily thing...and if you want to berate me about the lack of kissing I understand...**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Apologies this one took so long! I've had a shit week and my bf is away and the weather was crap so I was going to spend my Friday night alone at home moping and writing, but then my friends lured me out to a place called **_**Bimbo Deluxe**_** (contrary to what you're probably thinking it is **_**not**_** a strip club and has the best pizza in Melbourne) and then I was kept out all night with free drinks and a club that only plays 80s music...I'm sure you all understand that I couldn't say no to that...I needed an excuse to break out my awesomely-lame Breakfast Club dance moves...and then today I was hanging out with my little bro...because he's still young enough to think I'm awesome...soon I'm going to have to start bribing him... **

**Anyway, thanks again for your reviews and stuff...everytime i post a new chapter I'm like, 'fucking hell I hope it's not as shit as I think it is', and then when I read your reviews I'm all, 'they like me! they really like me!'...so...thanks ever so much for easing my crippling creative self-doubt...you are all the Emily to my Naomi, making me want to run for school president and go bike-riding and kiss gir...wait...what?**

**Like **_**skins003**_** said in their review, the pressure was on for this one...hope you like...(this hasn't been proof read because I'm fucking tires so I hope this all makes sense!)**

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Naomi hasn't stopped chewing on her fingernails all day. She's amazed she has any left in fact. Her already chipped nail polish is mostly gone now, a few flecks of purple remaining. She hates this feeling. This swirling anxious feeling in her stomach. Usually does everything she can to avoid it. Doesn't make friends and doesn't get involved and doesn't care. Avoids it all. But she can't seem to avoid Emily. Not sure she even wants to.

Too bad Emily is avoiding her.

Naomi isn't really listening as her English teacher Josie stands up the front having an argument with Gerald the sock puppet about Oedipus and fate versus free will. She keeps her eyes down and doodles in her notebook, writing her name over and over absentmindedly until she's filled up entire pages with it.

She's always hated that fucking play. Always hated the idea of fate. Doesn't like to think that there are some things in her life beyond her control. Wants to know that she's making her own choices in life and not just following a predestined path. She's never believed in any of that crap.

Her mum does though, constantly telling her that things are 'meant to be' and 'written in the stars', searching for meaning in a seemingly random series of events, or simply just mistakes, to make herself fell better about them. Every time they move somewhere new her mum finds a way to claim that it's fate, a convenient way to alleviate any sense of blame or responsibility. That's all Naomi thinks it is. A way for people to blame some mystical force in the universe for their misfortunes and avoid being honest with themselves. Avoid taking responsibility. Sometimes, when Naomi has had enough of her mum's 'destiny' talk she wants to ask her if she thinks what happened to her dad was 'meant to be'. If that was all part of some plan, because really, what kind of god would do that to somebody? But she knows that's unfair. She couldn't ever say that to her mum. So she lets her prattle on about how all the bad stuff turns out to actually be for the best, how moving from Dublin to Brighton after Terry dumped her must have been in her life's plan because Brighton is such a wonderful city and she met Peter there. And when he dumped her they moved to Melbourne which turned out great because she met Gary. And now they're living it up in Bristol and she has Roger from Tesco.

So she listens patiently, nodding her head at the appropriate times and feigning interest. Like on Sunday evening when her mum had come home from her date.

Naomi had been doing her usual Sunday night routine, reading the weekend's papers and getting things ready for college the next day. But she'd been on auto-pilot, distracted by everything she'd learnt about Emily and Freddie, her mind running through her argument with Emily. The hurt in the redhead's eyes, and then everything Effy had told her about what had happened between Emily and Freddie. She wanted desperately to talk to Emily and explain, hoped that the redhead would be at college the next day so that she could apologise.

She had been in the kitchen skimming over the paper when she heard the front door open and close, then footsteps along the floorboards getting louder until her mum entered the kitchen, a wide grin on her face.

Naomi knew that grin, that glint in her mother's eye, and the little countdown in her head started again. Her mum was already half-way in love, and now it was only a matter of time until Naomi would be packing all her belongings and moving to another town to start all over again. She'd hoped that she might stay in Bristol to finish her last year of college in the one place, but even before they got there she'd known it wasn't likely. She hadn't unpacked anything that wasn't essential and she wasn't planning to.

"Roger is perfect," her mum had said in a dreamy voice as she floated into the kitchen, her skirt almost too short and her top almost too tight. "He's smart and kind and pretty fucking hilarious," she continued as she took a seat across from Naomi. "And not too bad looking either," she added with a wink.

Naomi grimaced, never having seen Roger she couldn't make a judgement call on whether or not he was good-looking, although she did know that her mother had an interesting idea of what good-looking was. She wasn't turned off by long hair or beards or nose piercings or any number of things Naomi often thought of as ugly. As for the _smart and kind and hilarious_, Naomi wasn't holding her breath. Her mum thought that about every guy at the start. The blonde was willing to bet that Roger actually wasn't any of the three.

"He's got kids of his own," her mum continued and Naomi looked up with wide eyes, not even trying to hide the panic she felt at the idea of some kind of Brady Bunch blended family situation.

"Grown up kids," her mum clarified, and Naomi felt her heart start again. "They're both away at university. Their mum died five years ago. Brain aneurism."

Naomi kept her eyes down at the paper and felt something tighten in her stomach. Brain aneurism. She didn't think it was normal to envy the way someone else's parent died, but she couldn't help it. Knew it wasn't right to think that those kids were lucky. Or at least luckier than she was.

"So how was your day out with your friends anyway?"

She glanced up at her mum and her hopeful grin and pushed thoughts of her father out of her mind. Briefly thought about telling her mum the truth. Telling her about the mess she was already in after only two weeks in Bristol. That the boy she thought she liked did something horrible to the girl she thinks she likes, who is also the sister of one of her new friends but they don't speak to each other so her friend can't know that she likes her sister, meanwhile her other new friend might know, and she used to date the boy that now likes her and did the horrible thing and that she thought she liked but doesn't actually. Oh, and she might be gay or whatever, she doesn't know that either.

But she knew she would never really say any of that to her. They just weren't _that_ mother and daughter who talked about that sort of thing.

"It was fun," she said simply. "We just did some shopping and had coffee."

Her mum grinned and nodded, seemingly finding it much more interesting than it actually was.

"And what about that boy? Freddie. Have you heard from him after last night?"

Naomi thought about the several text messages she'd received from him throughout the day, mostly just enquiring after how she was and what she was doing. One of them telling her about how he'd attempted a new trick on his skateboard but ended up stacking it and scraping all down his arm. She'd been a little pleased to read that, however spiteful that was. She wasn't going to forget about what he'd done to Emily as easily as Effy had, and she'd ignored every message. She knew she'd have to deal with him Monday at college, but until then she could ignore him.

But her mum didn't need to know any of that.

"Yeah. A couple."

Her mum leaned back into her chair and sighed contentedly. "I'm telling you. Bristol is our town. Me and Roger and you and Freddie. I just knew this place would work out for the both of us."

Naomi rolled her eyes then and she rolls them again now as she recalls the conversation. More of her mother's 'fate' bullshit.

Josie and Gerald are still debating when Naomi notices a flicker of red out of the corner of her eye. She whips her head around quickly, her breath catching as she hopes that it's fiery red hair and the girl it belongs to, a disappointed sigh when she realises that it's just some kid in a red jacket.

Emily wasn't in home room and Naomi hasn't seen her all day. She doesn't know if it's being overly paranoid and self-centred to think that it might be because of her, and in some ways she hopes it is. At least that means Emily cares, even if it is for all the wrong reasons. She came close to asking Cook where she was, but she doesn't want to have to answer any follow up questions he might ask. Doesn't know if she actually has any answers for them.

She did have to deal with Freddie in home room though, but small talk was kept to a minimum because Effy seemed to know that she wanted to avoid conversation with him and had talked more than Naomi had ever heard her, and between her and Katie and Panda, who always talked a lot, Freddie didn't get a chance to get a word in. Naomi had run off to her next class quickly after that and hadn't seen him since, hiding out in the library at lunch to avoid him. She knows it's immature and silly, hiding from him like that, but she isn't sure how she wants to deal with it yet. Not until she's spoken to Emily. She'd also been hoping that Emily might be in the library, but the redhead was nowhere to be seen.

Naomi wonders if maybe Emily was with that dumb blonde girl she was kissing yesterday, or any number of the girls she's seen her with really, and that horrible ache in her stomach is back again.

She needs to find Emily and make it right.

-x-

She's heading to her last class of the day when she finally sees her, feels her heart add an extra thump when she notices the redhead walking into the gym of all places. Her first thought is how good it is to see Emily, her second is to wonder where she's been all day if she's definitely been at college. Then she thinks about following her. And it's not even a decision really, because as she watches Emily sneak off into the gym Naomi's legs are already moving, without thought or debate, and for the first time in her academic career Naomi Campbell is skipping class.

She thought it would cause her more anxiety than it does, but as she sneaks into the gym behind the redhead she isn't thinking about the politics class that she and Emily should both be in or the fact that she doesn't know where she's going, all she's thinking about is talking to Emily, the beat of her heart in her ears driving her on.

Feeling a bit like a creepy stalker Naomi enters the gym just in time to hear the door at the other end shut, and she walks through the empty hall quickly, careful not to make her shoes squeak on the floor too loudly. It's when she has her handle on the door, poised to open it, that it occurs to her that she has no idea what's on the other side. Or who. She hates to think that maybe Emily is meeting some slutty girl out there, but the possibility is not that unlikely really.

She takes a deep breath and pushes the door open, her heart thumping in her chest and nerves swirling in her stomach as she quints into the glare outside and finds that the door leads nowhere. Just an empty field at the back of the gym. She pokes her head out and looks to her left and then her right, finds the redhead leaning against the brick wall of the gym a couple of metres away, a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and one hand tucked into the pocket of her jeans.

"You know you really fucking suck at stalking."

A cloud of smoke escapes Emily's lips as she speaks and she keeps her head faced forward, not looking at Naomi.

The blonde freezes for a second with the shock of being found out, then takes a tentative step out of the doorway and feels the door shut firmly behind her. She's relieved that Emily doesn't seem angry at her anymore, though from their last conversation she knows that could change at any second.

She takes a second to look at Emily, her stomach doing a swift nervous flip now that she's right in front of her.

"I wasn't stalking. I was...following you."

She cringes knowing that it doesn't sound much better, but she can see the ghost of a smile on Emily's face and relaxes slightly, taking another step toward her.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

The redhead still hasn't turned to look at her, and Naomi continues to step closer until they're about a metre apart, leaning back against the wall with her head looking forward in a mirror of Emily's pose.

"Aren't you?"

Emily laughs to herself quietly, the moment fading until they're left in a tense silence again.

"Fine. Why are you _following_ me?"

"I wanted to..."

Now that Naomi finally has the redhead in front of her she has no idea what to say, all the speeches she'd prepared earlier slipping away from her as her mind blanks out.

"...I mean...Effy told me more...about what happened...with you and Freddie. I just wanted to apologise."

Emily turns to her quickly then, her features hardened and cold, eyes narrow and mouth pinched.

"Fuck. You."

Naomi blinks, taken aback by Emily's sudden change in tone and the same stone in her eyes that was there the last time they'd spoken. She's not sure what she's said to get her so angry again.

"What? I didn't –"

"I don't need your fucking apologies and sympathy. I don't know what Effy fucking told you and I don't care. I don't need your pity. You don't fucking know me. You don't know a fucking thing about me."

Emily takes a step towards her and squares her shoulders, fury blazing in her eyes, and Naomi backs up a little, intimidated by the redhead's anger.

She searches her mind for what she's just said or done to get Emily so worked up, and then realises that she didn't. She hasn't actually done anything wrong.

Steeled with that knowledge she takes a small step forward, using her superior height to gain some sort of advantage over the redhead.

"You know what? Fuck. You."

Emily's eyes widen and her face slackens slightly.

"I haven't done fuck all to you and all you do is treat me like shit. I just came out here to apologise for not having my story straight before but you know what? You don't fucking deserve my apology. And _you _were the one who told me to ask Freddie about it in the first place!"

She's slightly breathless once it's all out but she stands tall, eyebrows raised defiantly in a silent dare for Emily to challenge her words. She's acting far braver than she actually feels, especially with the way the redhead is glaring at her, and she finds herself holding her breath nervously.

But then a small smile breaks across Emily's face and the tension breaks, Naomi finally exhaling and her self-righteous anger dissipating slowly.

Emily meets her eye and smirks, and not for the first time Naomi wonders what the fuck is going on.

After a moment the redhead seems to let it go and turns back to lean against the wall again, taking a drag of her smoke casually as if that last minute hadn't actually happened.

Naomi leans back next to her leaving enough space between them. She's not sure what to say, or if she should even speak at all, careful not to blindly provoke the redhead into another outburst. So they stand like that for a minute or two, Emily bringing her cigarette to her lips every now and then, Naomi watching the smoke drift into the air.

"You should do that more often."

Naomi frowns, unsure of what the redhead is getting at.

"Huh?"

"Get angry and stand up for yourself," Emily clarifies, turning to face her. "It's kind of hot."

And Naomi thinks that Emily saying that with her husky voice is more than kind of hot. She feels her heart skip a beat and then start racing, tries to keep her face passive and the blush out of her cheeks so the redhead doesn't know how much her words affect her. Judging by the smirk on Emily's face Naomi's pretty sure she fails.

"So you like girls who get angry?"

The words are out before Naomi realises how flirtatious they sound, her blush deepening as Emily turns to her with an expression on her face that the blonde can't read.

"Do you?" Emily retorts. "Like girls I mean?"

She looks at Naomi like she's asking the most serious question in the world and the blonde feels her stomach flip again, her pulse racing as she tries to focus on stringing two words together rather than the irresistible curve of Emily's lips.

"I...I think so."

Emily sucks her bottom lip under her teeth in thought and Naomi is mesmerised by the action, so much so that when the redhead speaks again she realises that they are suddenly standing much closer, only she doesn't know if she was the one who moved or Emily did. She doesn't really care as long as Emily is this close to her.

"You think so?"

Naomi nods, not sure of what she'd say even if her entire vocabulary hadn't deserted her at the moment.

"Do you think we should find out?"

Emily takes a step closer so that they're almost touching, close enough that Naomi can feel the warmth of the smaller girl's body. She has the sudden urge to grab the redhead and pull her towards her, so she balls her hands up into fists by her side to restrain herself. She's not ready to be that bold.

She nods her head slowly in answer to the question though, not quite sure what she's agreeing to, a thrilling shiver running down her spine when Emily licks her lips and smiles.

Their eyes lock and Naomi almost gasps at the newfound intensity held in the redhead's gaze, paralysed by it as Emily lifts her thin arm and slips it around her neck.

Her gentle touch sends another shiver radiating through Naomi's body until it settles low in her stomach, her eyes threatening to flutter closed as she fights to keep them open. Emily's nimble fingers play with the soft hair at the nape of her neck and Naomi struggles to keep her breathing even, pretty sure she's having a heart attack with the way her heart is racing.

Emily's eyes flick down to her lips as she pulls the blonde closer, Naomi giving in to the gentle tug of the redhead's hand at the base of her neck until she's closing her eyes.

Their lips brushing together softly a second later and Naomi's breath hitches, the blonde fairly sure that Emily hears her when she feels the redhead smiling against her lips. But Emily doesn't pull back, pressing their lips together with a little more force. They're softer than Naomi could have ever imagined and she wants more, almost groaning when the redhead pulls away.

She opens her eyes reluctantly to find Emily staring back at her, a satisfied smile on her face.

"So?"

She doesn't want to answer. Doesn't want their little experiment to be over.

"I think...the results are inconclusive. We should try again."

Emily smirks, not wasting any time in pulling Naomi back to her and crashing their lips together again, this time with much more force and urgency. Naomi groans when the redhead's tongue licks at her bottom lip, not bothered with being embarrassed and opening her mouth, feeling Emily's hot tongue pressing against hers. It feels like she always thought a kiss should feel like, like her whole body is alive and her skin humming with the electricity between them.

She feels herself being pushed backwards, her feet shuffling quickly as Emily presses her into the brick wall roughly, Naomi not minding because the redhead's other hand has found its place on her hip, her thumb lightly brushing the skin under her t-shirt and raising goosebumps in its wake. She's faintly aware of Emily's breasts pressing into her, the idea of that rather than the actual feel of them intensifying the ache that has started to grow in the pit of her stomach.

She's not thinking about this being her second ever kiss or the fact that it's with a girl or that it's all happening when she's skipping class for the first time. She's not thinking at all, because Emily's firm body is pressed up against hers, touching her _everywhere_, and Emily's mouth is warm and tastes like peppermint and cigarettes and Naomi's knows that's her new favourite taste.

She's lost in the sensations the redhead is stirring in her, and Emily seems like she can't get enough, the two of them barely pulling away for breath.

But then Emily's hand is on her chest, roughly palming Naomi's breast as a firm thigh shifts in between hers. It's all suddenly too much and the blonde pulls back and gasps, the action snapping her out of the Emily haze her rational mind had been fogged with. It hits her then that she's one of _those_ girls. One of the girls Emily fucks up against a wall and forgets about an hour later, until she laughs about her with the next girl. This isn't special and it's not just an experiment anymore. It's just Emily trying to get something from her, something Naomi isn't anywhere near ready to give.

Emily doesn't seem to get the message, leaning into her again as she tries to pull Naomi closer, but the blonde resists, leaning back and pushing at her shoulders. The redhead opens her eyes and realises then that something has changed, confusion furrowing her brow as she steps back, both girls panting.

Emily's features darken a second later as some sort of realisation hits, and she runs her hand over her face and then through her hair.

Naomi watches, frozen in place, not sure what to say or what Emily is thinking. She feels like she's holding her breath until the redhead finally speaks.

"I shouldn't..._fuck_...I shouldn't have done that."

This is a new Emily that Naomi is seeing because she's seen her angry and amused and thoughtful and concerned but not like this...whatever this is, with her hands fidgeting and her eyes darting around, almost as if she's forgotten the blonde is even there.

Naomi steps forward, reaching an arm out comfortingly.

"What? No, it's okay. I mean it's not...but...we just got carried away."

Emily shakes her head, finally lifting her eyes and locking them with Naomi's. She looks frustrated and tired and sad, and the blonde doesn't like any of those things.

The redhead sighs. "Look, I shouldn't have kissed you."

Naomi feels something twisting in her gut, the words popping the hope that had swelled in her chest. Emily doesn't regret getting carried away.

She regrets kissing her in the first place.

The blonde's eyes are forced down as the familiar sense of rejection sweeps over her, and of all the times she's felt it in her life it's never been this painful. She wants to fold into herself until she disappears, crossing her arms over her chest and hugging them to her the best she can manage.

She feels Emily staring at her but she can't bring herself to meet her eyes, staying focused on her shoes instead.

"I'm sorry."

The husky words pull at her heart and punch her in the stomach, and Naomi's not sure if Emily means she's sorry she kissed her or sorry for reacting like this, but either way it hurts. Feels fucking terrible in fact. Tears flood her eyes no matter how hard she tries to force them away, and she's somewhat relieved when she hears Emily's retreating footsteps, not wanting the redhead to see her crying over her. The gym door opens and closes and Naomi knows she's alone, a thought she used to find comforting. Not today.

She stands there for a few minutes fighting off tears, a few slipping free and sliding down her cheeks. She's not sure if the temperature drops quickly or if it's always been this cold outside and she just hadn't noticed, but suddenly she's freezing, her teeth one step away from chattering.

But she doesn't go back inside. Doesn't move. Takes a minute to think about what just happened. What just _nearly_ happened. What she wanted to happen. Then she realises that it's the first time that Emily has apologised to her. Even after snapping at her unfairly on numerous occasions Emily has never apologised, always brushing it off and changing the subject quickly. She never acknowledged that she'd done something wrong. Until right now.

Because Emily is sorry they kissed.

.

.

* * *

**So...hope it was worth the teasing *shuffles feet* **

**I told you there would be smoochin'...and a bit of them gettin' handsy...but I never promised a happy ending :P**

**Things are going to get inneresting from here on out and hopefully it might surprise a lot of you, but that's the fun part right?**

**Anyhoo let me know what you think...because otherwise I won't know...obviously...**

**peace**

**:)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: And I'm back! I know it's been a while but this week has been a bit crazy (especially today but more on that later) and I've been distracted with family/friend/work stuff...but I'm here now...so here we are...**

**So, I was going to go into this whole rant about how I don't like to get reviews and messages from people telling me how shit I am, but whatever, I've got bigger problems than that. Most of your feedback is really brilliant and motivating and actually quite helpful, so let's focus on that! Cheers to you all! If it wasn't for you guys being awesome and encouraging I probably wouldn't have written more than a chapter...so go you! Special thanks to 6seats who gently encouraged me to update all week and then finally said "where's your update bitch!"...sometimes I really just need to be smacked in the face...so thanks. Oh, and go read and review the _'Ink'_ update if you haven't already because it's better than this crap...I'm not fishing for compliments I'm just dropping truth bombs!**

**Now this was supposed to be a longer chapter but I thought I'd better post **_**something **_**before you all forget what this story even is****...so hopefully this will do for now...I guess this is filler-ish...but hopefully not boring...**

* * *

.

.

The cool wind swirls around Naomi and she pulls her hoodie closed across her chest and up to her neck, then buries her hands in her pockets. The faint smell of cigarette smoke lingers around her from the crowd of students to her left who are huddled together, a group of emo kids with died black floppy hair and a truckload of eyeliner. They really shouldn't be smoking on college grounds because it's against the rules, but it's not like there's a teacher out there to stop them. They're probably too busy smoking somewhere in the campus as well.

The cigarette smell makes Naomi think of Emily and she wishes it didn't. Wishes she could forget about Emily entirely, instead of thinking about her all the time. Instead of replaying their kiss over and over again in her mind. Except she doesn't really. She knows it's all kinds of pathetic but she can't help herself.

_I've only known her for two weeks for fucks sake, _she admonishes herself constantly.

She shuffles on her feet a bit to keep the circulation pumping in her legs and maybe even warm herself up a little. She could go inside but she doesn't really want to and she's decided to wait out the front for her friends.

That's what she tells herself. It's easier to think that's the reason.

But if she's honest with herself she's also waiting for someone else.

Emily wasn't at college yesterday and Naomi hasn't seen her since she walked away from her after their kiss. After apologising for kissing her. Emily wasn't in home room yesterday morning and as far as Naomi could tell she wasn't at college at all. She's felt plenty of rejection in her life and she'd thought that by now she was used to it but Emily walking away from her like that hurt more than she could have thought it would. She's used to people not wanting her, it's a constant in her life, and she's learnt to brush it off as much as possible and try to forget about it. But something about Emily Fitch won't let her give up like she normally would.

She still doesn't understand what happened. Doesn't understand Emily at all really. Sometimes the redhead acts like she couldn't care less if she's around or not, other times Emily's spitting mad at her and then others she's touching her in bathrooms or kissing her behind a gym. Naomi wonders again if it's all just a game to Emily, if it all has something to do with messing with Freddie or even Katie, and if that's the case she thinks she's in big fucking trouble. She told Emily that she likes girls. She fucking _kissed_ her. And not just a little sweet kiss either. It was desperate and aggressive and made her feel things she's never felt before, and by the way Emily had kissed her back Naomi was sure that the redhead had felt it too.

But maybe not.

_Maybe that's the way Emily kisses everyone, _she thinks._ She's certainly had enough practice._

And if this is all just some game to get back at Freddie, Emily might tell _everyone_, including Katie, Effy and Panda. Naomi doesn't want anyone knowing, least of all her new friends, and the thought of it becoming public knowledge twists a knot in her stomach. She hasn't even begun to understand what it all means, liking Emily this way, and she doesn't want everyone knowing before she's had a chance to figure it out for herself.

She wants to be mad but the more she thinks about it the more confused she is, because she knows Emily wanted to kiss her. She _knows_ it. She _felt_ it. She just doesn't know why Emily apologised for it. Naomi had looked into those usually guarded brown eyes and seen Emily's fear and confusion. It had reminded her of when the redhead had looked so concerned about her when she'd freaked out in the library. She'd wanted to tell her that she's confused and afraid as well, but the redhead had run away from her. Left her there.

So now she stands to the side of the front entrance to the college waiting, watching her peers milling about and talking loudly, animated conversations punctuated with laughter or yelling. None of them notice her. Nobody says hello or even nods her way. She's used to it. Prefers it really. There's no danger that way. And it reminds her that even though she's now hanging out with Effy, Katie and Pandora every day she still doesn't feel like one of them yet, and part of her thinks it might just be better to cut her losses and go back to being a loner. Chances are she would be leaving Bristol in a few months anyway, so even if she did manage to stay friends with them that long it would end in tears, or at the very least her saying goodbye. B

ut she doesn't want that. Not really. She wants friends, and she likes hanging out with Effy, Katie and Panda. Thinks that they seem to like hanging out with her too. That's part of why she's so anxious about Emily telling everyone, because her friendship with the girls is so fragile and could still go either way, and she doesn't want anything to jeopardise it.

She just wants to talk with the redhead and find out what's going on, but that doesn't seem likely with Emily not being around and Naomi having no way to find her. She'd briefly contemplated asking Cook because she knows he lives with Emily, but she doesn't want to answer questions that would obviously arise, and knowing the little she does about Cook it doesn't seem unlikely that he'd use the information to tease Katie in some way.

A loud eruption of laughter draws her attention and Naomi glances across to it, shaking her head when the subject of her most recent thoughts, Cook, is standing in front of five or six girls and JJ telling a story that involves him holding his crotch.

She scrunches her nose and turns away, her gaze trailing across the grounds until she catches sight of Effy and Katie walking through the main gate together. They haven't spotted her yet and she half raises her arm to wave at them before she realises how lame that would be and that they will make their way to her eventually. She drops her hand to her side and hopes no one noticed.

"Naomi?"

She'd been so embarrassed by her lame almost-wave that she hadn't even noticed Freddie walking up to her on her right, and she turns to face him, her eyes wide in slight panic, her heartbeat quickening.

"Can we talk for a second?"

He takes a step closer and she shuffles back a little. Doesn't want to talk to him. Hasn't since he dropped her off at her house after their date, which feels so long ago now. She's still furious at him for downplaying the seriousness of what he'd done to Emily and how that had then caused a fight between her and the redhead, and she's managed to avoid his attempts to speak to her because Effy had been running interference for her.

But now he's managed to find her on her own, and she feels anger rising from the pit of her stomach. A tightness in her chest. She's angry with him and angry with her mum and angry and confused with Emily, but her mum's not here and Emily's not here but Freddie is, so she figures she may as well take some of it out on him.

"What?"

Her tone is harsh and she crosses her arms over her chest. Smiles when his gentle expression falls, then feels slightly guilty. She can't help it.

He stares down at his sneakers for a moment before looking up again, his eyes half hidden behind his black floppy hair.

"I just want to know why you're mad at me," he shrugs. "Did I do something to piss you off because you've been ignoring me for days."

Naomi laughs mockingly and is surprised by the level of her own vindictiveness, but with everything that's happened the last few days she's channeling her anger at him, unfair as it may be.

"You lied to me. Effy told me what you really did to Emily. How horrible you were to her. How you told everyone about her."

She holds her head high and lifts and eye brow in challenge, spiteful anger coursing through her. She expects him to protest, to lie again to cover up his previous lies. Expects him to weasel his way out of it the way boys like him always do, popular and cute boys who are used to getting their way and getting what they want and never being wrong.

But much to her surprise she watches as Freddie's face falls, guilt washing over him and his posture changing instantly, his shoulders slumping and head lowering.

She's a little dumbfounded by the reaction, the obvious regret and contrition evident in his eyes, and it tempers her anger somewhat, because his response has thrown her and she can't be blazingly angry at someone who already looks so ashamed and defeated.

She glances around them self-consciously and notices a few people staring, wishes they were having this conversation in private.

"I'm sorry Naomi."

His voice is thick with emotion, giving weight to his words, and he knows he's not just sorry for lying to her. She can't help but want to believe him, which troubles her again because she's used to having the opposite reaction to people, never trusting what they tell her. But something about Freddie has always seemed genuine, and she feels that again now.

He looks up at her with an almost pleading look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole truth about it, I just didn't want you to think I was that guy anymore. A guy who would do that to their best friend."

He hangs his head and Naomi feels her anger flare again as she remembers what he did to Emily.

"How could you do that to her? Your best friend? How could you treat her like that?"

He slips his hands into his pockets and shrugs his shoulders again, looking so much like a little boy, despite his height, that Naomi finds herself feeling sorry for him again despite her anger.

"I don't have a good answer or any excuse...I was just..."

He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, seemingly searching for the words to explain himself.

"I was just really fucking immature and shocked when Emily told me and I reacted in the worst way possible. I didn't know how to fucking deal with it. I was fourteen and it was a big deal you know."

Naomi thinks he's right, it's not a good excuse because there really isn't one, but it does sound like at least he's being honest.

"I know I did the wrong thing and I tried to fix it, I _really_ did, but Emily wouldn't speak to me again."

His voice breaks on the last word and Naomi's eyes flick up to his, finds them glazed with tears. Blinks in surprise because this really wasn't how she'd thought their little confrontation would turn out. She thinks all this emotion and remorse has everything to do with what happened to Emily and little to do with him lying to her about it.

Freddie composes himself quickly though, and when he speaks again his tone is gentle but controlled, like it usually is.

"Look, I understand why you're angry and I'm sorry for lying to you. I just didn't want you to know what an ass I was when I was younger because...I like you...and I wanted you to like me."

He smiles earnestly and Naomi feels that little flutter that she felt when he was flirting with her before and when they went on their date. Briefly wonders why it's different to the one she gets around Emily and what that means. In doesn't compare to the way Emily makes her feel and she knows that, no question about it. But it feels nice nonetheless. She's still slightly wary of him though, reminding herself that she's only known him for two weeks and that she can't just fall for him batting his eyelashes at her.

He takes a step closer and this time she lets him, not moving from the spot she's standing in.

"I know you probably don't want to go out with me again..."

He draws the moment out in a question and looks to her to disagree with him but Naomi remains expressionless so he continues.

"...but maybe we could at least stay friends?"

He looks at her so hopefully that Naomi feels herself blushing slightly at how much he seems to like her. He's right though, she doesn't want to date him, but as soon as he says it she can't help feeling that she does want to be friends with him. That she likes that he likes her. She had fun with him at his party and on their date, until Emily arrived that is, and she never once felt like he wasn't being genuine with her. She still can't understand why he did what he did to Emily, but she can appreciate that he'd changed, and from what she'd seen and heard he had changed, Effy's words of forgiveness also floating around her mind.

"I think it's best if we're just friends," she says finally, and she can see disappointment darken Freddie's eyes momentarily. "For now," she adds without thinking, not sure what she means by it exactly and cursing herself a little for implying that they might have a future as a couple.

She doesn't know how to take it back so she doesn't. Watches as a smile spreads across Freddie's face.

"Yeah, of course...that's totally cool...friends."

She gives a stiff smile and there's an awkward moment between them, the tension finally broken by a voice to the side.

"Fuck off Freddie. Stop harassing my friend."

Naomi smiles at Katie's words that are said half in jest, and the brunette throws a protective arm around her shoulder and narrows her eyes at Freddie. She likes how protective Katie is of her friends, and that she's now one of those friends she protects. She finds herself hoping it stays that way for a long time, though she knows the odds of that aren't in her favour for several reasons. Her mother's disastrous love life for one and Emily's possible scheming for the other. But she likes this. She likes being Katie Fitch's friend.

Freddie just laughs and shakes his head at Katie's dismissal, quickly nods in greeting at Effy and then turns his attention back to Naomi.

"I'm glad we cleared that up. I'll see you in homeroom."

He flashes his brilliant smile and her stomach flutters again, and she holds his gaze for a second before looking away self-consciously.

"Effy, Katie," he turns to them as he addresses them, "always a pleasure." He inclines his head toward Katie and whispers dramatically, "you know I like it when you swear at me."

Effy smirks as Katie scoffs, and Naomi can't help but think that Katie is a little bit charmed by him as well. The whole interaction is familiar and easy, and she hopes that she'll be friends with them long enough for it to feel that way for her too.

And as she watches him turn and walk away something captures her attention out of the corner of her eye. She knows what it is before she turns to look at it properly, her heart leaping into her throat and Katie's voice fading out around her as if somebody hit her mute button.

Emily's red hair.

She feels her breath catch in her lungs because the redhead is standing at the front gate and she has that silly blonde girl with her. Holding her fucking hand. Naomi watches as Emily tugs on their joined hands and pulls the blonde girl closer to her kissing her thoroughly.

Naomi feels her stomach hit the floor. She has to look away and this time has no trouble doing so.

Any lingering hope that Emily had actual feelings for her disappearing in an instant.

.

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* * *

******Hmmm...so do we think Freddie is really a good guy or just a manipulative little shit? **

**Apologies if it's not up to its usual standard because I'm just getting back into it after a week and it's after 2am and I'm on 3 hours sleep and I've had enough coffee to fuel a rocket to the moon...next one will be better and feature our love triangle in a cafeteria staring contest and Naomi finally getting bitchy...it will also include an awesome Mean Girls quote I have finally managed to find a way to squeeze in there...**

**So, my dad had a bit of a health scare today (that's always a fun phone call to get...but he's okay for now) and he'll be in the hospital for a few days so my little brother is staying at mine for a bit so I can spoil him rotten and take his mind off things. He's adorable but he can be a handful, which means I might not have time/be too tired to update for the next few days. We'll see how we go...and how much my insomnia kicks in. My bf and I are taking him to the Melbourne Show tomorrow...well technically today since it's the AM's...and we're going to eat sugar and play games and go on rides until we puke...so hopefully it'll distract the little bugger, he's had a rough few months and he deserves to have some fun...okay...I'll stop over-sharing now...blame it on the coffee and lack of sleep and drama...**

**It would be lovely to hear from you all about this chapter, (unless you want to tell me I'm shit and then you can go fuck yourself), but to everyone else I give a high five:**

***high five***

**Stay awesome peeps.**

**:)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sup peeps...thanks for being patient with me...life is kicking me in the ass lately but I'm doing my best. Your reviews are lovely as always, and really help keep me motivated with this story those times when I want to chuck it all in, pour myself another glass of wine and watch another episode of Party Down...so cheers, it's a team effort really. **

**Now again this isn't all that I had planned and rather shorter than usual, but I thought I'd better upload what I had before you came at me with pitch forks demanding another chapter...this week should be pretty cruisey for me so I should be able to get a lot of writing in...fingers crossed...**

**There's a good chance this is shit and it isn't proof read...I've had 3 hours sleep in 2 days and need to be up in 3 hours which brings it to a grand total of 6 hours sleep in 3 days...which is bad any way you look at it...I'll go back and fix the mistakes later...let's just pretend everything makes sense for now...**

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Naomi would be laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation if she wasn't in the middle of it, or pissed as hell about it.

She's sitting in the cafeteria with the girls at a table in the corner, Effy to her side and Katie and Panda across from them, the same table her new friends have sat at since the first day last year she's come to learn. It's chaos around them as usual, students milling about and throwing things between tables, two boys actually kicking a football across the room, no teacher in sight. Naomi thinks it's a bit like a zoo and the zoo keepers are on a break. The noise surrounds her, everyone chatting loudly to talk over the noise of everyone else, which of course only raises the noise level. Someone over the other side of the room has music playing, people are on their phones, a few girls are yelling between tables.

Naomi doesn't notice any of it.

She doesn't notice the words leaving Katie's mouth as the brunette prattles on about something. Doesn't notice the football that almost hits her head. Or even her lunch in front of her.

All she notices is Emily.

Emily with those soft pink lips that Naomi can't stop thinking about. Emily with her tight firm body that Naomi can't stop imagining pressed against hers again. Emily with her blazing red hair that reminds Naomi of fire, and how dangerous it can be. Emily with her intense brown eyes that have been avoiding her since homeroom.

Emily sitting next to that slutty blonde girl.

Naomi's hand grips tighter around her drink until her knuckles are white. The knot tightens in her stomach and her eyes narrow. She doesn't know what the hell Emily is playing at, but she can't move her gaze away from the redhead. Feels like a masochist because she's watched for the last half hour as Emily touches and kisses the blonde girl, hands flirting with the hem of her far too short skirt or getting lost in tacky yellow peroxide hair. The fact that Emily seems to find this little tramp attractive only pisses Naomi off more.

Emily hasn't met her eyes all day, and Naomi has been glaring at her enough to know that it must be a conscious avoidance on behalf of the redhead. Even in homeroom, when Freddie had turned in his chair to talk to Naomi and she'd heard a forceful sigh coming from the redhead behind her, when she'd flicked her head around she found Emily with her head down in a book, as if she was completely oblivious to her surroundings. As if nothing and no one around her mattered.

Naomi's anger started to build then, stewing through her first few classes, wondering what the hell Emily's problem was and why she was treating her this way. Emily had kissed her, had wanted to kiss her, and now she was pretending they didn't even know each other. Then Naomi had walked into the cafeteria to find Emily sitting directly in her eye line, that stupid blonde appearing again and sitting next to her. It all seems deliberate on the redhead's behalf, and all Naomi wants to know is why. Why Emily flirts with her. Why Emily kissed her. Why Emily is ignoring her. In some twisted way Naomi feels like she can't figure out what she's feeling without knowing what Emily's feeling.

She just wants to know why.

She's broken from her Emily daze when she feels a gentle jab in her side, shakes her head and shifts her focus to find the three girls staring at her with a mixture of confusion and amusement.

"What?"

Katie smiles and rolls her eyes in that affectionate way that friends do, and Naomi's now confident enough in their friendship to know that she's not being made fun of. She rather likes it when the girls include her in their playful teasing, now that she knows they actually like her.

"I asked what's up between you and Freddie," Katie repeats herself as she flicks her hair out of her face, "but you were away with the fairies."

Naomi realises then that she's gotten far too carried away with her Emily staring. Wonders if the girls know that's what she's been fixated on. Notices Effy's sly smile and thinks that the brunette might have seen, because she seems to know everything.

"It's nothing," she says, trying to brush it off casually and not have to answer any further questions about the whole drama. "We've just agreed to be friends."

"Are you sure _he _agreed to that?" Effy asks through a smirk. "Because the way he keeps staring at you suggests that he's thinking about being naked friends."

Effy nods her head to her right and flicks her eyes in the same direction and Naomi's gaze instinctively follows. Finds that Freddie is indeed staring at her, looking slightly caught off guard but then recovering quickly and offering a friendly smile. Naomi smiles back, feels a whirl of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. She knows she fucked up with her "for now" comment when Freddie asked about being friends. Doesn't know how to fix it. She's also worried that he might have noticed the way she's been staring at Emily and the skank and what conclusions he might draw, but from the admittedly lovestruck smile on his face she doesn't think he saw her. She feels like a real shit giving Freddie any kind of hope when she's pretty sure they will never be more than friends, promises herself to make that clearer to him in the future.

"Been gawking at you all lunch," Panda adds after taking a sip of her juice, "like you're something he wants to eat."

Katie and Effy scoff and Naomi takes a second to realise why and then feels her face flush with heat and the colour rise in her cheeks. Forces her eyes down to the table.

"What?" Panda glances around to each of them. "What's funny?"

Effy shakes her head and leans in closer across the table, wiggles her finger indicating for Panda to do the same, and the blonde mirrors her actions. Naomi hears Effy whispering and then watches as Panda's eyes circle wide. She can't believe that Panda has remained so innocent after knowing Katie and Effy for so long. Finds it an endearing quality in her new friend.

"That's not what I meant," Panda says to her apologetically.

"But it's true," Katie adds shooting a smirk at Naomi who's blush only deepens.

"Speaking of," Effy says in a hushed tone and then raises her eyebrows.

Naomi looks across and finds Freddie ambling toward them in the casual way he seems to do everything, his hands tucked into the pockets of his worn jeans and his hair a floppy mess. She does find it rather cute. Her heartbeat quickens and she takes a sip of her water, her mouth suddenly dry. Weary of the reason he's coming over to them. Hopes it's nothing to do with her. Forces a wide smile onto her face as Freddie approaches their table.

"Ladies," he greets them, his smile open and genuine, and the four of them offer their own greetings in return. "I wanted to check that you'd heard about the party that one of Thomas' friends is throwing this Saturday..."

Naomi can't help noticing that while he's addressing the four of them his eyes keep flicking back to hers, and she can almost feel Effy smirking beside her. She's not used to this kind of scrutiny on her love life, mainly because she's never had one before, and she doesn't like it. Can't imagine what it would be like if something were to happen between her and Emily and it became public. She's not sure she could handle it.

"...So are you guys going to be there?"

Naomi can feel his eyes on her as she sips her water again, refusing to look up at his hopeful gaze. She already knew about the party from Effy and the four of them had decided to go, but she doesn't need to answer Freddie because Katie does it for her.

"Yeah, Thomas told Effy about the party the other day and she told him we'd be there," the brunette says dismissively, a slight smirk curling up one side of her mouth. "Did you really come over here just to ask that or did you just want to leer at Naomi from a closer vantage point?"

Her smirk grows and Naomi blushes fiercely, but Freddie doesn't miss a beat.

"Oh Katie, always so lovely to everyone. It's so hard to believe you don't have a boyfriend."

"I could say the same about you," she fires back quickly.

The whole table giggles at that, and even Freddie has to admit defeat, sighing and rolling his eyes with a smile on his face. Naomi looks up and finds herself staring right at Emily, the laughter dying in her throat as she notices the way the redhead is glaring at her, her eyes narrow and her mouth a tight line. They lock eyes for a moment and she can almost feel the anger burning from Emily before the redhead looks away, her hand grabbing for the slutty blonde girl and kissing her again. Naomi's stomach drops to the floor and she can't stand to watch, looks back down at the table. She can only guess that Emily is angry at her for talking and laughing with Freddie, and Naomi can understand why, but then she remembers how pissed she is at the redhead and kind of enjoys the fact that she's made Emily mad in return. Thinks she deserves it for messing with her head and flaunting that blonde skank in her face.

"Anyway," Freddie says finally, startling Naomi slightly because she'd almost forgotten he was even there. "I just wanted to check that you guys were coming to the party, so..."

He looks around for something to go on but none of the girls give him anything.

"...I guess I'll piss off now and leave you to it."

He nods once and Naomi offers him a small smile before he swivels around and walks away.

"God he's such a dick," Katie huffs once he's barely out of earshot, and Naomi can't help feeling sorry for him even though she knows why Katie doesn't like him.

But the other girls let it go, and Naomi assumes it's because they've heard Katie complain about him for years and know it won't change.

Her eyes flick back over to Emily and she finds the redhead with her mouth still attached to the skank's, that irrational anger blazing within her again. She's almost talked herself into hating Emily, because she hates feeling this way and being treated this way by the redhead and wishes that she liked Freddie instead because he seems like a much more appropriate person for her to like. It would be so much easier than feeling _this_. Her stomach twists and her chest tightens as she feels the anger overtake her.

"God, doesn't that piss you off?"

The words fall out of her mouth with little regard for what she's saying and to whom, her anger taking complete control as her eyes stare hard at Emily.

Katie furrows her brow completely unaware of the show Emily is putting on behind her. "Huh?"

"That." She gestures over to Emily and the girl who are still all over each other and Katie turns to check it out. "Don't you hate having to see _that_ all the time?"

Naomi hates seeing it. Hates the idea of Emily kissing anyone. Knows it's different for Katie, but can't imagine it would be awesome to see your sister permanently attached to skanks. Wonders if that technically makes her a skank too. Thinks it probably does, and then hates Emily a little more for making her a skank.

Katie studies her for a long moment, her face unreadable in a thoughtful frown, and Naomi's suddenly aware of the shift in tension at the table, the heavy silence hanging between the four of them. Realises that she's stepped over the line, that imaginary line that's been there since day one. The line that says they don't talk about Emily, least of all with the girl they've known for less than two weeks.

She feels as if Katie is deciding whether or not she can trust her, and Naomi's not sure if she's ready to know the answer just yet. Feels like the whole table is sitting on the edge of their seat awaiting Katie's response. Watches as a million emotions wash over the brunette's face.

"My sister..."

Katie sighs and Naomi feels the urge to reach across and grasp her hand comfortingly, which surprises her because she's not that type of person. The brunette just seems to inspire it in her because she knows Katie wouldn't hesitate to comfort her if she needed it. She suddenly feels like an ass for bringing Emily up at all.

"Emily thinks she's doing something, proving something, with all these girls. And she's hooked up with _heaps_ of girls..."

When she emphasises _heaps_ Naomi cringes but tries not to show it, bringing her water to her lips again.

"Even this one here," Katie adds with a hint of disgust as she jerks her head in Effy's direction.

Naomi's eyes bulge and she chokes on her water. Katie chuckles at her while she splutters and wipes her mouth, and even Panda is laughing as she chews her donut.

Naomi looks to Effy but the brunette simply rolls her eyes.

"She's being dramatic." Waves her hand dismissively. "I was drunk. It was a party pash a couple of years ago. End of."

Naomi's mind reels for a long moment as she struggles to regain her composure and calm her erratic heart. She'd gathered that Emily is a bit of a slut but she doesn't like hearing it confirmed. Or the fact that the redhead had kissed Effy. Makes the kiss that she shared with Emily feel less special somehow. Knowing that it's possible that Emily kissed Effy just to piss Katie off makes it seem even more likely that she did the same thing with her. Fuels her anger but also makes her feel even more inadequate and stupid. How could she think that a inexperienced little virgin like herself could tempt Emily.

"Anyway Emily thinks that by throwing these sluts –"

"Hey!" Effy interjects, offended by the implication that she's a slut, even though from all that Naomi had heard the brunette seemed to be exactly that.

"By throwing these _girls_," Katie clarifies dramatically, "in everyone's faces that she's proving something. To me, to Freddie, to everyone. Showing us that she doesn't need us or our approval. It's all bullshit."

The brunette looks down at her lunch and Naomi can feel the mood shift again as Katie's sadness becomes apparent. She watches her intently and feels her heart go out to her friend, so clearly in anguish over the situation with her twin. She feels herself growing ever angrier with the redhead, wonders how Emily can stand making her twin feel like this. Thinks that no matter what happened between them Emily must be the reason they're still estranged, because it seems like Katie is willing to reconcile but Emily isn't. Can't imagine treating a sibling that way, even though she doesn't have any.

"Who the fuck is that ugly blonde girl with Emily anyway?"

At Effy's words Naomi's eyes flick back over to the redhead, finds her with her hands still all over the girl but no longer kissing. It's a small blessing.

Katie shrugs and Naomi draws a blank, not sure if she's seen the girl around school before.

"She doesn't even go here!" Panda says eagerly with a mouthful of donut.

Katie shakes her head. "Poor girl."

"Poor girl?" Naomi echoes sceptically, a confused frown on her face. She can think of a million colourful adjectives to describe that girl but none of them would carry any kind of sympathy.

Katie scoffs. "Look at her with that dopey love-struck look on her face."

Naomi does and has to admit with much annoyance that the skanky blonde girl does seem to be smitten with Emily. Makes the swirling in her stomach even more intense, because clearly she's not the only one who feels this way when it comes to the redhead. All the evidence seems to be stacking up in favour of her _thing_ with Emily, whatever it is, being not as special as she'd thought it was. The thought lands heavy in her stomach.

"Coming down here just to have lunch with my sister. That girl has no idea," Katie continues, her voice low and measured. "I've seen that stupid look on the face of so many girls before. Even a few _really_ stupid boys. They all think they can reform her, but I know my sister better than anyone else, I know that they _can't_."

The certainty in Katie's words and the strength in her eyes when she tells Naomi that shakes the blonde to the core. Punches her in the stomach. It's all a little too much truth for her to handle.

"They should stay away from her," Katie says firmly, and Naomi feels like the brunette is speaking right to her, even though she doesn't know it. "She's a lost cause, and sooner or later they realise that and get their hearts broken in the process."

Naomi looks back up just in time to watch Emily and the blonde walking out of the cafeteria. Feels her heart sink even further.

She takes a deep breath. Thinks that Katie might be right. Recalls all the drama that Emily has already caused in her life. Drama she doesn't want or need, not with all the crap she's already got going on. So she's going to take Katie's advice.

She's going to stay away from Emily.

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**Well...if there's one thing we've learnt, it's that Naomi can never stay away from Emily! Next chapter will feature a shit ton of Naomily so don't worry...I'm gonna try and bang it out asap...for reals this time...**

**Also, I'm obsessed with the song 'Young Blood' from a NZ band called 'The Naked and Famous'...so if you like MGMT or Empire of the Sun you'll love them...and 'Cold War' by Janelle Monáe...which is just awesome...so go forth and (legally) download! Oh, and I hope my fellow Australian's have bought tickets for Good Vibes next year? It's always a good party no matter who's playing...**

**Feel free to leave a review...if only to tell me to hurry my ass up! Also, I kinda love this Katie...just a smidge :P**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks everyone, you are all brilliant, but more on that at the end of this chapter. I just wanted to point you in the direction of two of my new fave stories on here at the moment – **_**No Barrier**_** by lazyboo, and **_**It's Running You With Red **_**by lovelessandless...they are awesome and really beautifully written, so give them a read and try and review if you can! Also, is it just me or is this site fucking up a lot lately? It's annoying...anyway, usual crap about it being late (it's 3am) and this not being proof read apply...I'm not super happy with bits of this one so if I have time I might rewrite some stuff...but I wanted to post something :)**

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Warm lips press against Naomi's, the swirling feeling in her stomach intensifying each time they touch. She's not sure whether the feeling is good or bad, it just is. She doesn't care right now anyway, her eyes shut tight, willing all rational thought away. A swipe of a tongue against her bottom lip and she's opening her mouth, a hot tongue wrestling with hers as she kisses back furiously. Somewhere in the back of her foggy mind she feels like she should be embarrassed by how aggressive the kiss is, but she's too drunk to really care. A firm body pushes against her and she feels herself being backed up against the wall, the thumping bass of the music vibrating through it and into her body. It feels wonderful and scary at the same time, like her skin can barely contain what inside it. Hands tangle in hair, run up and down sides and across backs, goosebumps raising in their wake. Resting on hips and pulling shoulders closer. Fingertips trailing over exposed skin. Shivers radiating down her spine and settling low in her stomach.

The lips are ripped from hers and she sucks in air as she feels a hot mouth press against her neck, lips sucking on her pulse point and a tongue licking her skin. She whimpers, barely able to keep her breathing in check as her heart pounds wildly in her chest. It feels like her body is feeling everything it can possibly feel, all at the same time.

Her eyes are closed but all she can see is red. All she can feel is red. Surrounded by it. Swimming in it. Drowning in it.

Emily.

Opens her eyes and finds the redhead staring at her from across the room, an angry scowl fixed on her face that Naomi swears also looks equally pained and hurt. Takes the blonde a sluggish second but eventually she feels her heart fucking stop when she realises it's not Emily she's kissing.

It's Freddie.

It's Freddie's lips on her neck. Taste on her tongue. Hands all over her skin. Freddie's body pressed against hers.

The realisation steals the breath from her lungs.

Emily stands with her arms crossed over her chest and stares hard at her for a moment that seems to stretch on forever, a million emotions washing over the redhead's face, all of them making Naomi's stomach twist into knots. Naomi blinks and then Emily is gone, and the blonde feels like she can breathe again, the crushing weigh of Emily's glare no longer pushing on her chest. Like she's woken up from whatever daze she'd been in. Pushes Freddie off her and stumbles away, ignoring his concern and shrugging his arm away when he tries to touch her. He must get the message because he doesn't follow.

The sounds of the party are washed out by the million thoughts whirring around her brain all fighting for prominence, though she can't hold onto one long enough before it slips away, to be replaced by another. The people she passes as she moves down halls and through rooms are faceless, everyone blending together as she tries to find her way outside. Her heart is thumping in her ears, and everything seems too bright and too sharp. Too loud and too much. She blinks furiously to try and focus her eyes and startles slightly when she feels the chilled night air slap her face as she steps into the backyard.

There aren't many people out there on account of the cold, only a few huddled in the far corner smoking something and talking loudly. A weak light illuminates the area closest to the house, but the end of the yard is hidden in shadows. Naomi walks around to the side of the house where she can obscure herself from view, leans back against the cool bricks and takes a deep breath, so deep that the cold air stings her lungs. The light doesn't make it here so it takes a second for her eyes to adjust to the dim moonlight. She doesn't want anyone to find her. Wants to hide. Wants to close her eyes and pretend that she's not here. That she hasn't done what she just did and that this last week was all a dream. Wants to be like Alice and wake up and realise it was all a dream.

But it's not a dream. It's real. And she fucked up.

She rubs at her eyes for a second before remembering that she's wearing eye make-up. Squints at her balled up fist and notices a dark streak across her skin. Tries her best to blindly fix what she smudged, though she doesn't know why she bothers. She should look as shit as she feels.

She lolls her head back and it hits a little too hard against the bricks of the house. Winces as the pain radiates through her skull and down her neck. She has no idea how much she's had to drink, lost count a couple of hours ago, but it's safe to say that it's probably more than she's ever had in her whole life...combined.

She takes another deep breath and out of nowhere feels an overwhelming wave of emotion rise with it, surprising her completely and bringing tears to her eyes.

She fucked everything up.

She kissed Freddie.

Emily saw.

She has no idea how it happened.

No.

That's a lie.

She knows exactly how it happened.

It happened because she's an idiot. And because Emily's a bitch. And because that blonde girl is a slut. It happened because Freddie was being sweet. And because Effy kept pouring her shot after shot after shot and looking at her in a way that made her feel uncomfortable, exposed, like the brunette knew her secret. So Naomi kept drinking and drinking and drinking, playing her little game, flirting with Freddie and ignoring Emily. Trying to make Emily jealous. Acting like she knew what she was doing. Like she was in control.

She wasn't.

She isn't.

And now it's all blown up in her face. All gone much further than she ever intended.

Fuck.

-x-

It had started earlier in the week at college, after Naomi's reconciliation with Freddie and talk with Katie, and she decided that she would put Emily in the back of her mind and forget about her.

Easier said than done.

She couldn't stop her eyes from finding Emily in a crowded room, though her flaming red hair was an easy giveaway, flashing at her like a beacon. Her ears were always on alert when Emily was around, desperate to catch a note of that husky voice. Even more desperate to know what the redhead was talking about.

But Emily still avoided her. Avoided looking at her in classes they shared or in the cafeteria. Even avoided coming too close to her and moved to the other side of the hall if she saw her.

It infuriated Naomi. She started to obsess about it, and it became less about how she actually felt about Emily and almost exclusively about how she thought Emily felt about her. The redhead occupied her thoughts constantly, even sneaking into her dreams some nights, and Naomi felt like she was going a little bit mad. She knew she hadn't done anything wrong, but she felt like Emily was punishing her for something.

Looking back now she doesn't think it was a conscious decision at the time, but when Naomi saw how Emily reacted to her and Freddie being friends it made her aware of the way in which she could get to Emily. Make her feel as shit as the redhead was making her feel. So she did what she thought was a good idea at the time. What she now regrets. She decided to punish Emily back. Because Emily was the one who had actually done something wrong. Emily was the one who was fucking her around.

It was subtle at first, she wasn't experienced with flirting after all, but when she was around Freddie and knew Emily could see or hear them she would laugh a little louder or hold eye contact with him a little longer. Leave a smile lingering on her lips or maybe even touch his arm or shoulder innocently, ruffle his hair affectionately. Just enough to give the impression that it wasn't strictly friendly.

What she didn't consider fully was that Emily wasn't the only one who could be potentially affected by her feigned flirtation. Freddie thought she liked him again, which she couldn't really blame him for. It became apparent to Naomi that he might be hoping for something to happen between then when the number of text messages he sent her increased, and when he returned her smiles and touches and even hugged her a few times. Got close enough to kiss her until she found an excuse to pull away.

Her friends noticed. Even the usually oblivious Panda noticed and made a comment about it. Katie and Effy asked her on several occasions what was going on, her answer always vague and non-committal. She knew they didn't buy it, but at least they didn't know the real reason. She'd managed to keep her Emily obsession to herself.

Naomi did enjoy being friends with Freddie again, it was so easy to be around him, talking and laughing effortlessly, but that's all she wanted from him. Friends. When she realised how her efforts to mess with Emily were encouraging Freddie's feelings for her she decided to stop. Didn't want Freddie getting the wrong idea any more than he already had. Plus, it didn't seem to be working on Emily anyway, the redhead showing no sign that she even noticed Naomi was alive, let alone was jealous of her and Freddie. She was glad that the skanky blonde girl hadn't been seen around college again, but it was a small mercy when Emily was still ignoring her.

So Naomi was at her locker packing her books in her bag after the final bell on Friday when she felt a hand tap her left shoulder. She swivelled around and saw no one, huffed and then turned to her right and saw Freddie grinning at her.

"Funny," she said dryly, but with a smile to let him know she wasn't really annoyed with his lame trick.

He shrugged his bag up higher on his shoulder. "I try."

They shared a smile, and not for the first time Naomi wondered why Freddie was wasting his time on her. She'd been at Bristol college for three weeks now but one day in that place was long enough to know that everyone loved Freddie, except for Emily and Cook of course, but even JJ seemed to be a little charmed by him from what she'd seen. All the boys wanted to be his mate and the girls wanted to date him, and even Katie seemed to be struggling to fight his charm. Naomi had no idea why, when given the choice of most of the straight girls in their college, Freddie would choose her. It was insanely flattering, and almost enough for her to want him back. If it wasn't for her borderline obsession with Emily.

"So you're coming to the party tomorrow night?"

He smirked and she rolled her eyes. Earlier in the week Katie had teased him for being so desperate and pedantic with asking Naomi that question several times, and it had since become a running joke between him and Naomi, the two of them playing it up in front of the brunette to annoy her.

He flashed his brilliant smile and nodded, before turning and walking away down the hall, Naomi watching him as he caught up with Thomas and exited with the crowd of students.

She was going the opposite way, like she did every Friday afternoon, shutting her locker and throwing her bag over her shoulder before heading off to the library. She'd been feeling off balance all week by everything that had been going on and needed something familiar. Her house isn't really her home yet, the closest thing she has being the books she's loved all her life.

She also isn't exactly rushing to get home these days, and especially didn't want to be there tonight while her mum got ready for her second date with Roger, not while she went on and on about how lovely and perfect he is. But Naomi was encouraged by the fact that including tonight the two had only been on two dates in three weeks, so maybe this blossoming romance was going to bloom a little slower. She might be able to stick around long enough to finish her A-Levels there.

Taking a deep breath as she pushed through the library door she felt comforted straight away. Loves the smell of books and libraries and printed paper. She dropped her books from last week into the slot and continued over to the bookshelves, as usual undecided about what she was looking for.

She ducked into an aisle to try her luck, thumbing through the spines of the books when she noticed a shadow at the end of the aisle, blocking her in. Looked up to find Emily standing there, her breath caught in her throat for that reason, but also because of how pissed off the redhead looks.

"What the fuck are you doing with Freddie?"

It's a simple question with a complicated answer, and even if she hadn't been startled by Emily's angry presence and the first words the redhead had said to her in days, Naomi didn't know what to say in reply. Decided to stick with being bitchy and deflecting it.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Emily scoffed, and Naomi felt an angry flame flicker inside her. Remembered that she didn't have to take that shit.

"And why do you care?"

She shot up a challenging eyebrow and Emily's face faltered for a split second. Recovered quickly.

"I don't," she said as she took a step closer to the blonde, her voice and actions belying her words. "I don't fucking care. But you know what an asshole he is. Why are you always hanging around him and laughing with him? Are you two a couple now or something?"

By the look on her face Emily seemed to notice her mistake. Showed too much. But it was too late. Her jealousy-laced words already out there, already triggering a reaction from the blonde, who found herself smirking. Despite appearances Emily _had_ noticed her with Freddie. Emily was jealous. The blonde felt like she had the power in the relationship for the first time since they'd met, and enjoyed the thrilling surge of rare confidence as she realised that she could give Emily a taste of her own medicine.

"What the fuck do you care? You made it pretty clear that you wanted nothing to do with me," Naomi said calmly but with all the conviction and venom she could muster.

She crossed her own arms and squared her shoulders, the two of them standing there in some kind of standoff. Naomi refused to back down, and soon enough Emily huffed and dropped her hands down to her sides.

"You can both go fuck yourself," the redhead said finally, before swivelling around and heading back out of the library.

Naomi stood for a second and thought about what had just happened. How Emily had basically admitted that she had been watching her interact and flirt with Freddie and was jealous. It was then that Naomi had decided to play it up even more.

-x-

She opens her eyes and takes another deep breath, her heart rate slowing slightly and her breathing reaching a steady rhythm. This is not how she'd thought the night would turn out. She isn't exactly sure what she had been expecting, but it wasn't this. It wasn't pissing off both Emily and Freddie and getting blind drunk, then ending up propped up against the side of the house.

Her flirting with Freddie had started off harmless enough, continuing the attentions she had lavished upon him during the week, but generally only whenever Emily was around. Her stomach had tightened when she'd first seen the redhead with that blonde girl, and she'd downed her third shot then, wincing at the burn that was quickly becoming familiar. It devolved into tit for tat after that. Emboldened by alcohol Naomi pulled Freddie with her so they could dance, placing his hands on her hips and smiling at him in what she hoped was an alluring way. She'd glanced over to see if Emily was looking, her eyes finding the redhead and the skank also dancing, their hands all over each other. Naomi had felt her chest tighten, making an excuse to leave the room. The more she drank the more the little game escalated, but when Naomi saw Emily kissing that girl again something snapped, and she snaked her arm around Freddie's neck and pulled him to her.

They'd kissed. Emily had seen and gotten jealous. But Naomi doesn't feel like she's won. Thinks all of them lost and it's her fucking fault.

She runs a hand through her hair and notices how numb her fingers feel from the cold. Contemplates going back inside but doesn't. Needs some more time to compose herself. She has no idea what the fuck she's going to say to Freddie, how she's going to explain her behaviour. She could write off tonight claiming it was all the booze, but it still doesn't explain how she's flirted with him all week. She rubs at her temples and takes another deep breath. Decide not to think about it until tomorrow when she has a much clearer head.

"Are you okay?"

She recognises the voice but has trouble reconciling it with the soft, concerned tone and caring words. Turns to find Emily standing a few feet to her left, faintly outlined but the weak light from the back of the house. Feels her heart beat quicken and her stomach knot with anxiety, adrenaline pumping through her veins. She has no idea why Emily is suddenly looking at her with worry evident in both her words and facial expression.

"I'm fine."

The lie slips out easily, because it's the same lie she's been telling since she can remember. She hasn't been fine for as long as she can remember.

Emily accepts it for the moment. Bites her lip. "No Freddie?"

Naomi doesn't know how to answer that or exactly what the redhead is asking so she doesn't.

"No blonde girl?" she offers, trying with all her being not to let her all-consuming jealousy seep into her words.

"Candace?"

Naomi wants to laugh at the name. It makes her think of a stripper. Nods her head instead.

"She's..."

The redhead trails off and Naomi holds her breath, hoping for an answer that includes the girl being run over.

"...somewhere."

Emily shrugs and the blonde doesn't know what her words mean or how to feel about it. Stares at her feet.

"You look nice," Emily says softly, like she doesn't trust her own voice.

Naomi's head snaps up to face her immediately, her stomach fluttering at the compliment. She's wearing an outfit that she'd bought when she'd gone shopping with the girls, encouraged by them to go for something a little more daring than her usual muted outfits. The skirt a bit shorter and more colourful and the top a little lower cut and tighter.

It's remarkable to her that she can be so much more flattered by Emily occasionally being nice to her than by Freddie's constant attention. She's always considered herself to be a logical thinker with a level head. But not around Emily Fitch. She's not quite believing of the radical change in Emily's attitude though, although she's seen it before so she doesn't know why she's surprised.

"Thanks."

Emily takes a step forward, leaving less than a metre between them. It's enough for Naomi's heart to start thumping, knowing that they could potentially reach out and touch each other.

"Who did you get all dressed up for?"

Brown eyes lock on to hers and pierce through her, stealing the breath from her lungs and quickening her heart further, the muscle beating so quickly now it's practically humming. The question hangs between them for a moment, but the longer Naomi lets herself be pinned by the redhead's intense gaze the more she is left with only one response. The truth.

"You."

From the way Emily's eyes widen Naomi thinks she hadn't been expecting such an honest answer. A million emotions wash over her face in an instant, but the blonde can't read any of them definitively. Naomi feels her cheeks flush pink in a heated blush, thinking that she's probably revealed too much. Her thoughts confirmed when Emily is the first to break eye contact and avert her eyes to the ground, a heavy weight of disappointment dropping in her stomach.

Naomi decides then that she needs to leave. Needs to get away from Emily. Save herself the further embarrassment and humiliation and pain of yet another rejection. Decides that this is it. This is really it. No more chasing Emily and putting herself out there. No more games. No more wishing for something that will never happen.

She hangs her head low as she moves to walk past the redhead, getting so far as a step past Emily when she feels something encircle her wrist, pull her backwards. She doesn't have time to think or breathe or do anything but close her eyes as her back is once again pushed against the brick wall, but this time lips are pressing against hers, her mind completely blanking out when it registers that they're Emily's lips.

She's kissing Emily.

Quick and frantic and desperate kisses, one small hand placed on her cheek and the other resting on her hip. Fingertips pressing into her exposed skin. Naomi feels like her whole body is swirling, her head and her stomach and her heart. Like she's floating and falling at the same time. She kisses back just as forcefully, curling her own hand around the redhead's neck and pulling her closer. Knows that it can never be close enough.

"I can't stand it...I can't" Emily mutters between quick kisses, whispered words filled with longing and desperation that shock the blonde with their intensity.

"It's okay," Naomi mumbles over and over again against her lips, never wanting this to end.

But it does, the need for air becoming too great a moment later, Emily pulling their lips apart but keeping her forehead pressed against Naomi's, both girls sucking in lungfuls of cold air and trying to steady themselves.

They stand there like that for a moment, the silence filled in Naomi's head by yet another barrage of thoughts and questions about what exactly just happened and what this all means. Everything that she's too scared to actually say out loud to Emily right now. Her eyes are still closed, but she opens them when she feels the warmth pulled away from her body, Emily pull away from her slightly. She feels panic rise in her again, a fear that this will be like last time. But the feeling is squashed when the redhead leans in again and places a lingering soft kiss on her lips, smiles, then looks at her expectantly.

"So what do we do now?"

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**I hope I surprised you and you weren't expecting it to end like that :P **

**I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel like teenage relationships (including friendships) can be really quite obsessive in nature...everything is so dramatic and the end of the world when you're that age, so little innocent Naomi is in the throes of that at the moment...it makes sense to me that she'd quietly obsess about Emily all week. I also couldn't resist having Emily say Naomi's dialogue from the locker kissing scene in ep 9...because it's hot and kind of perfect...we'll start to learn some more about Emily now...little by little...as well as her buddies Cook and JJ...**

**Now if you'll indulge me for a moment – I just wanted to thank you all. When I mentioned my dad being sick I did so because I have this thing about disappointing people and I wanted to pre-empt any long break between updates so you wouldn't get mad, and really didn't anticipate getting such a generous response from you guys. Some of the messages and comments I've received have been completely unexpected and really lovely, and it's remarkable how much reading something like that can help you when you're having a shit day. I know I've been shitty with replying to reviews lately so I just wanted to say thanks. Really. You're all superstars.**

**Cheers and I hope you enjoyed!**

**:)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I know FF has been fucking up lately so I want to thank those of you who still had the patience to shoot me a review...I was a bit unsure about that last chapter and where the story is heading so it was great to get your feedback...I hope the rest of you are still enjoying it too...and if not...sucks to be you :P**

**This could be seen as the beginning of act two of this little story...I'm nervous about it but I hope you like...it's short-ish, but at least it's something...and it's late here and I'm tired...so forgive any shittyness as usual...**

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Naomi follows her friends into homeroom, not paying much attention to the conversation the other three are engaged in, her mind occupied completely with something else. _Someone_ else. Her eyes dart around anxiously looking for any sign of red. Both relieved and disappointed a moment later when she doesn't see Emily. She's felt like that for the last 36 hours, a conflicting mess of intense emotions constantly swirling within her. Tangling and overlapping and twisting until she can barely recognise one from the other. Each leading to another and another and another until she's back to the start. As a result she feels constantly on edge. Her breath catching at the splash of red on a bike out of the corner of her eye. Her heart fluttering when she mistakes another girl with red hair for her redhead. She's even started to notice the similarities between her and Katie that she'd always overlooked. But when she thinks about it she knows that Emily has always made her feel this way, scrambling her emotions until she can't think straight – literally. Ever since that first time she saw her out the front of college on her first day.

She slides into her seat next to Panda and picks up a pen immediately, fidgety fingers needing an outlet, doodling stars and letters and eventually hearts in her notebook. Her left leg bounces up and down nervously under the table, unknown to everyone else, while her stomach churns with nerves and anticipation.

She hears a noise from the door and whips her head around quickly to meet it, cursing her eagerness when she finds Freddie staring back at her, bright smile beaming. He gives a small wave and she offers a weak smile in return, polite but not encouraging, before looking away quickly. Her heart beats rapidly and her stomach tightens. Freddie takes his seat just as Kieran stands to read the mornings announcements, and Naomi is thankful that she has some time until Freddie will try to turn around and talk to her.

Things were still uncertain with him since the party on Saturday night. Not on Naomi's behalf. She knew exactly what she wanted from their relationship, for it to remain just friends, but she was having a little trouble conveying that to him. Kissing him didn't help her cause obviously, and she couldn't blame him for being confused about the mixed messages she was sending. She hadn't seen him again since she'd walked away from their kiss at the party, a few noncommittal and vague text messages passing between them yesterday that didn't solve much at all, except let Freddie know that she wasn't angry with him again. She knew that they'd have to speak today, she just wasn't sure what to tell him. Didn't know what to say about running off at the party, or just being friends.

Of course she couldn't tell him the real reason she'd run off, a blush colouring her cheeks as she recalls what that reason was.

Emily.

Kissing Emily.

Her stomach flips and she swears she can feel her lips tingle, just like they did when Emily kissed her. She closes her eyes for a moment, the sound of Kieran's voice fading out as she recalls her kiss with Emily.

"_So what do we do now?"_

_The question hangs in the air between them as the redhead stares into blue eyes, locking onto Naomi's and not wavering in the slightest, a concentrated expression on her face as they both try to catch their breath and slow their thumping hearts to no avail._

_Naomi knows exactly what she wants to do but she's too scared to voice it. Almost too scared to even think it. Definitely too scared to actually go through with it. But she wants to all the same. Feels her body aching in a way it never has before. Doesn't know if it's the alcohol or Emily or both, but she's never felt like this. So alive. It's thrilling and terrifying at the same time._

_She studies the redhead's face and Emily doesn't look like she's embarrassed or guilty or regretful like the last time they kissed. Naomi is relieved by it. Feels the knot in her stomach relax a little. But the relief only lasts a second as the redhead's face then catches the moonlight and Naomi notices that Emily's pupils are dilated. Knows it's probably from drugs. Feels a flicker of despair at the thought that maybe this is all just the drugs. Maybe Emily is only acting this way because she's high. That when she's sober she won't want this. Won't want _her_. Naomi doesn't know if she can handle that again._

_But whether it's her own wishful thinking or stupidity or drunkenness she doesn't know, doesn't care, because right now, with Emily's hand on her hip and her taste on her tongue, Naomi believes that this is real. That Emily does want her. Her. Not just some girl to push up against a wall and fuck. Emily wants her. Emily with her red hair that lights Naomi up like fire. Her soft pink lips that mesmerise Naomi with their every movement and send shivers down her spine. Her throaty voice that settles low in the blonde's stomach and ripples through her body. The perfect curve of the redhead's hips that Naomi just wants to settle her hands on permanently, pull her closer constantly and never let go. Emily with her smile that's always halfway to a smirk, beautiful and teasing at the same time, keeping Naomi on an exquisitely thrilling edge. Things that had never before meant anything much to Naomi until they belonged to Emily, and now that's all she can think about. Especially now when they're so close. When Emily is holding her hip like she owns her and staring at her like that._

_Naomi doesn't know how long they've been standing there, but it's long enough for Emily's question to be forgotten, pushed aside for another time or never again. Right now Naomi doesn't care. Right now all that matters is how close she's standing to Emily. The noise of the party is drowned out by the sound of her own heart beating frantically in her ears, by the deep breaths she's still taking as she continues to try and catch her breath. Thinks that maybe around Emily she'll never be able to catch her breath. She feels like she should be scared or doubtful or anxious but she's not. Feels like maybe she's right in the eye of the storm, and hopes that once it starts to move through her again she's got enough of a grip on Emily not to get blown away. _

_The right corner of Emily's lips curl up into a smirk and Naomi's heart skips a beat, thumping back even harder right after, like it's reminding her that it's still there. The redhead licks her lips and leans in closer, slower this time, as if she's giving Naomi a chance to pull back and say no. _

_But that's the last thing Naomi wants, inclining her head forward to meet Emily's without hesitation, their lips pressing against each other and moving quickly. Mouths opening and tongues exploring. Emily tastes like cigarettes and bitter alcohol, and it should be unpleasant but it's not, and as the redhead's tongue continues to dance with hers Naomi hopes that she gets to taste this forever. Their kiss lacks the urgency of the one moments ago, but has the same intensity of feeling, Naomi's stomach fluttering constantly. She wonders if it'll always be this way when she kisses Emily, if she gets to kiss her again. Hopes that she does. Hopes that it is._

_Emily brings both hands up to cup her face gently and Naomi settles her hands on the redhead's hips, her cold fingers warmed by the exposed skin they find from where the top of Emily's low-slung jeans just barely meet the bottom of her t-shirt. She's not sure if Emily pushes against her or if she pulls the redhead to herself, or both, but suddenly their bodies are pressed flush against each other, and Naomi feels an ache low in her stomach that she's never felt before. Hopes it never goes away. In spite of the weather Emily's body is so warm against hers that Naomi feels it spread throughout her body, though she's sure that it's also from the way the redhead is kissing her. And even though she knows Emily is a good deal shorter than her, it doesn't make sense because Naomi feels like the redhead is bigger, her presence overwhelming and consuming her. The blonde briefly considers if she should be embarrassed by her lack of experience, but she's truly too drunk to care, and Emily doesn't seem to mind._

_They stand in the shadows kissing like that for what could be a minute or could be an hour. Time lost and meaningless to Naomi when Emily is kissing and pressing against her like this. But Emily doesn't let her hands roam freely like they did last time, isn't as aggressive. And though Naomi's body is pleading for more she's glad Emily is holding herself back. A confirmation that this isn't like before. That she isn't like those other girls. And that Emily isn't going to push her to do anything she isn't ready for._

_Eventually Emily pulls her head back and takes a step away from her, breathing heavily as she puts some space in between their bodies. Naomi misses her immediately, panic rising within her and wondering if she's done something wrong. But the redhead has a small smile on her lips, as if she knows she has to reassure her._

"_I have to go," Emily says finally. But it's not like before. It's reluctant, like she really would prefer to stay here with her._

_Naomi nods, not sure of what to say. Her mind a complete blank of anything other than what Emily's lips feel like on hers. Emily doesn't offer any explanation for her sudden need to depart and Naomi doesn't ask for one. Nothing has been resolved and if anything there are more questions and less answers, but right now she doesn't care. Her head is fuzzy from the alcohol and Emily, and she knows she's not thinking properly. Knows she should be less okay with this situation than she seems to be, but she can't bring herself to care._

_She likes this Emily. This calm and unguarded version of the redhead that she's seen glimpses of before. She thinks that maybe this is the real Emily. Hopes that it is. Hopes that it can be like this between them from now on._

"_Give me your phone," Emily tells her gently, her husky voice giving each word more weight than they deserve._

_Naomi doesn't even consider saying no to Emily, doesn't even think before following her direction, reaching into her skirt pocket and slipping it out to hand it to her._

_Their fingers touch as Emily grabs the phone and Naomi feels the heat travel all the way up her arm, her stomach fluttering again. Finds herself hoping that it isn't just the alcohol making it feel this intense. Hopes that it's like this all the time. She doesn't know what Emily's thinking for feeling, but from the small smile that tugs up her lips as their skin touches Naomi thinks that maybe the redhead is feeling it too. Hopes she is. Doesn't know what she'll do if she wakes up tomorrow and this was all just a drunken mistake. _

_She watches intently as the redhead punches the buttons on her phone quickly and then hands it back to her, a message tone going off simultaneously which Naomi assumes is Emily's phone, so that she now has her number. She looks up and smiles at Emily and finds the redhead smirking back. But her smile fades when she wonders how many other girls Emily has pulled that move with. How many other girls she's gotten the number of. _

_But she doesn't get to dwell on it for long because Emily steps forward again and Naomi thinks that the redhead is going to kiss her again. A little surprised when Emily moves to the side slightly and kisses her cheek instead, her lips lingering for a second before she pulls back again. They lock eyes for a moment, Emily offering a small smile before she turns and walks back down the side of the house and into the yard, Naomi watching her intently until she's gone. Emily never looks back._

_The blonde blinks a couple of times. Takes a deep breath. Feels lightheaded all of a sudden, as if the effects of the alcohol had been suspended while Emily was here, but now all of them rushing back at once. She leans back against the bricks and closes her eyes, focuses on her breathing, thoughts of Emily inevitably flooding her head._

_It's then that her mind starts to race again, her heart thumping just as quickly, as if she's just been given a shot of adrenaline right into the muscle to wake her up. Reality seems to hit all at once, churning up her stomach and confusing her thoughts. _

_Emily didn't promise to call. Didn't promise to text. Didn't actually promise anything at all. Naomi could have sworn she'd seen something in Emily's eyes, something that told her that this between them was different, but now she's not so sure of herself. She feels everything rising up within her rapidly and lurches forward, tucking her hair back behind her ears quickly before she vomits._

_When she feels like she's thrown up everything inside of her she leans back and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, thankful that she's out of view and doesn't need to deal with prying eyes. The cold hits her instantly and she's shivering, her teeth on the verge of chattering, though she knows that it's not just from the weather. She briefly wonders if she should perhaps feel something significant about being sick from too much alcohol for the first time. It's a rite of passage after all. But she mostly just feels embarrassed. She used to make fun of people who did this and now she's one of them. _

_She pulls out her phone and checks the time, winces she when sees that it's almost 3am. Suddenly all she can think about is her bed. Wants to go home, collapse into her warm bed and fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. She doesn't live too far from here and can probably walk it in less than twenty minutes, and thinks it will be better if she just leaves down the side of the house instead of finding Katie or Effy or Panda and coming up with a lie about why she wants to go home. _

_She turns to take one more look up the path to the yard that Emily had disappeared into. Fleetingly wishes that the redhead would appear again. Stares for a long moment before finally conceding that Emily was really gone, turning around and heading down the path towards the street, her heavy feet trudging along._

The sound of the door swinging open again draws Naomi's attention, turning her head to see who it is, her heart leaping and breath catching when she watches Emily move into the room. The redhead locks eyes with her immediately, but without offering even the slightest hint of a smile, and Naomi can't help but feel that familiar disappointment and rejection crushing her. Emily is finally looking at her at college, but it's a small consolation for the fact that the redhead didn't call or message her all day yesterday. She hasn't heard from her at all since Emily walked away from her at the party on Saturday night, and since then the questions and anxieties have started to pile up, so heavy now that Naomi fears she's going to collapse under the weight of it all.

"_So what do we do now?"_

Emily's question never got answered but it was all Naomi had thought about yesterday as she obsessively checked her phone and waited to hear from the redhead. It seemed to be too big for both of them at the time, especially given their less than sober states, but now Naomi isn't sure of exactly what Emily was talking about. Whether she was asking what they should do right at that moment or what they should do in terms of whatever they were going to be beyond that night. There's a lot to consider and Naomi spent most of yesterday running through the implications of any type of relationship she were to have with Emily, especially given her friendships with Katie and Freddie, as well as her less than stable living situation. It was a complicated mess. But all of her thinking and analysing might prove to be a waste of time, and as Emily walks to the back row of desks, realisation sinks deep in Naomi's stomach – nothing has changed.

-x-

She's sitting in class when her phone vibrates in her pocket, and it takes a second for her to realise exactly what that feeling is. She looks up to make sure that the coast is clear to check it and finds her history teacher Mr Leonard deeply engrossed in whatever he's doing on his laptop. She slides her phone out of her jeans and holds it in front of her desk, already preparing to roll her eyes at her mother's message. She's always writing her random things during the day. But her eyes almost bulge out of her head when she reads who the message is from. Emily. With a simple direction: _'meet me in the east side toilets'_.

Naomi reads it three times quickly, her heart hammering in her chest. There's no time mentioned but she assumes the redhead means now. Doesn't even wonder why Emily's asking to meet her before her hand is shooting up in the air. But Mr Leonard is oblivious to her efforts, so after a couple of minutes she stands and walks quickly toward his desk to ask for permission to go, desperate to get to Emily.

She hurries down the hallway and it occurs to her that maybe she should have replied to the message to let Emily know she was coming. Finds herself walking a little faster in case the redhead thinks she's standing her up and leaves.

She pushes through the door forcefully and it swings back so violently that it smacks against the wall loudly. It doesn't even make her flinch though, because she immediately spots the redhead standing by the sinks on the other side of the room, Emily's head lifting up when her attention is drawn by the loud noise.

The door swings shut again and Naomi stops where she's standing to the side of it, suddenly paralysed with nerves and unsure of exactly what she's there for and what Emily wants from her. The redhead smirks and Naomi can't help but smile along. The tension seems to be broken slightly, and the blonde feels herself relax a little, her breathing evening out slowly.

They stare at each other for a long moment, before the redhead takes a deep breath and sighs.

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**I didn't mean to go all cliff-hanger on your asses, but I need to get some sleep and I'd promised myself that I would post something tonight...so this is it. Let me know what you think...I know nothing major happened, but like I said, this is the start of the next act in the story, and it's going to play out a little differently to the way I think most of you assume it will...so it'll be nice to get your feedback as it progresses so that I know I'm not completely crazy...or you can confirm my craziness...I don't know...I need sleep...I hope you liked...I'll try and be quick with my update but unfortunately my life seems to take up most of my time...it's funny how that happens.**

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*** UPDATE: for those of you wondering, i did remove the last line of dialogue from the original posting of this chapter...i'm an idiot and wrote it half passed out asleep and it takes the story in a direction it wasn't supposed to go in...so...that's why it's no longer there...***


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Howdy peeps...some of you may not have noticed but I made a little change to the end of the last chapter about a day after I first posted it...it's little but it's also _super _important, so check it out and my explanation for it before you read this...also, thanks again for your reviews and for everyone reading...my motivation seems to be waning lately so it's good to know that people are still enjoying it...I know updates are coming a bit slow, but I'm a super hyperactive person who gets distracted by shiny things and I practically have to handcuff myself to my laptop to write this story...although youtube then becomes a distraction...there so just many stupid people filming themselves doing idiotic things or cute animals being adorable and hilarious...but I'm doing my best! **

**For some reason this chapter was a real motherfucker to write...painful really and I have no idea why...it's not long, but hopefully it's not shit either...maybe...I've completely lost any ability to be objective that I may have had...but I thought I better post it before I yelled 'FUCK IT!' and set my laptop on fire...I'll try and get my mojo back...although I'm starting to doubt I ever had any :/**

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It sounds very much like a sigh of resignation from the redhead but Naomi barely has time to consider what it means before Emily is moving towards her quickly, pushing herself forward from the sinks and stalking over with a determined look in her darkened eyes. The blonde's breath hitches in her throat when she realises that it's lust in those brown eyes, that Emily is going to kiss her again, her heart hammering in her chest.

_Emily wants to kiss me_, her brain declares in awe, a delighted thrill flipping her stomach endlessly.

In an instant the redhead is placing her hands firmly on Naomi's hips and guiding her back against the cool tiles of the wall, their lips crashing together as Emily presses her warm body against hers. Despite knowing what was coming Naomi's eyes widen in shock, not really prepared for anything to happen with Emily, not quite believing that anything would. She's not sure what she'd thought Emily had wanted when she'd gotten the text, innocently figured that maybe the redhead just wanted to talk. Maybe about Freddie. Predictably he'd turned around to talk to Naomi as soon as Kieran had finished reading the morning's announcements, and the blonde had shifted uncomfortably in her chair, acutely aware of Emily sitting behind her.

"_So you pulled up okay after Saturday night?" he asks her, even though she'd already told him the answer in a text message yesterday._

_She smiles anyway, wanting to make this as painless as possible. _

"_Yeah, fine. Must have been a 24 hours thing."_

_Yesterday when he'd texted her to see where she'd nicked off to from the party and why she'd run off she'd lied and told him she'd felt sick. He'd immediately responded with offers to bring her soup for god's sake, and it had only made her feel worse. She thanked him for being a good friend. Hoped he payed attention to the _friend_ part especially. Thought from the hopeful look on his face now it's doesn't seem like it._

"_I'm glad you're feeling better then."_

_She smiles tightly and nods. Looks to her right and as she does three pairs of eyes instantly look away, pretending to be occupied by something else, and she has no doubt that Katie, Effy and Panda are listening to every word. She swallows, knowing this isn't going to be easy, thankful that the classroom is even rowdier than usual and that most of her classmates wouldn't be able to overhear their conversation. She hears a loud throaty chuckle from behind her, a shiver running down her spine as she recognises Emily's laughter. Feels slightly annoyed because she wants Emily to be trying to listen in as well, not cracking jokes with Cook and JJ as if nothing had happened._

_She takes a deep breath. Looks up to meet Freddie's eyes. She knows there's a more appropriate place and time to have this conversation but she's feeling brave. Decides to get it over with, like ripping off a bandaid. _

"_So, about Saturday night," she begins tentatively, losing her nerve slightly and staring down at her fingers fiddling with her pen. Reminds herself she'll feel better once it's over. "About what happened...between us..."_

_She feels Freddie's gaze on her, slowly drags her eyes up to meet it._

"_I just...I don't..." She's not sure how to start let alone finish the sentence, all the words she'd thought of earlier deserting her completely. _

_She wishes Freddie could read her mind, but her body language is enough, and she sees him deflate somewhat as he takes in her frown and furrowed brow. He knows it's not good._

"_I was pretty drunk..." _

_Decides to play it safe and blame the booze, not the small redhead driving her crazy with jealousy. A look of dawning comprehension on Freddie's face pushes her on._

"_...and...I think it's better if we're just friends."_

_Freddie blinks at her, his mouth curved down in a slight frown, and Naomi's stomach twists with guilt. She wants to take it all back. Wishes she could go back and never go out with Freddie in the first place. Never kiss him in the shed or feel flattered by his attention. Although using him to make Emily jealous did work, she argues with herself. It also leads to Freddie staring at her with sad eyes like he is now._

_He scratches his head and clears his throat, recovers quickly with a small smile. "Uh, yeah, sure. If you want."_

_There's a slight question in his voice and Naomi doesn't leave it open like last time. Doesn't leave him with false hope._

"_Yeah. I think we should."_

Naomi could've sworn she'd felt Emily's gaze on her at various points during her conversation with Freddie, the weight of it pressing down on her shoulders, and noticed that the noise behind her had dulled. She doubted that Emily had overheard her then, but she hoped the redhead was at least interested in what was being said.

So Naomi had thought that maybe Emily had wanted to ask her about it. She had not been expecting this. For Emily to wordlessly push her up against a wall and kiss her. They were at college after all. Although from what Naomi had seen of Emily in action at college before, she really should have known better. And when she thinks about the other two times they've kissed she hadn't been expecting it either, Emily grabbing her and pushing against her unexpectedly. Not that Naomi had minded. Not that she minded now.

It takes her a second to react to Emily's advances but the shock quickly subsides and Naomi's body moves almost instinctively, closing her eyes as her mouth opens against Emily's, her hands moving up to slide around Emily's neck and losing themselves in soft red hair.

Its frantic, both of them taking hurried shallow breaths in between kisses. Emily keeps her hands on Naomi's hips, not pushing further, and once again the blonde is grateful for it. Her own hands slide down to Emily's shoulders, too scared to venture any further. The redhead is still pressed against her but Emily's not moving or grinding her hips like she did the first time they kissed. It's restrained, but still passionate enough for that dull ache to start again low in Naomi's stomach. She thinks she can feel Emily's heart beating furiously against her chest in time with her own. Smiles against the redhead's lips at the thought of Emily being as affected by this as she is.

But as their mouths move together Naomi still can't get out of her own head, her mind whirring with a million thoughts, each conflicting and running over each other. She feels both exhilarated and terrified by Emily's touch, but she has no idea what she's doing. On all fronts. Feels way out of her depth. They've kissed three times now and she's kissed Freddie twice but she still barely knows what to do. Still feels awkward and anxious. Like any minute Emily is going to pull away and laugh at her for doing something wrong. Then there's the fact that she doesn't know what Emily wants from her. What this is all about. She can't stop wondering how Emily feels about her or exactly what she feels for Emily or whether Emily is still kissing other girls in other toilets or whether Emily is using her to get back at Freddie or whether Emily will tell Katie, Effy and Panda or whether Cook and JJ know and the thoughts just don't stop. Every time she's with Emily all she gets is more questions and less answers.

She hears a clicking sound on her right penetrating through the silence. Opens her eyes, her heart leaping in her chest when she thinks someone is about to open the door and catch them. Looks across to find Emily's slim arm pulling back from the door.

"It's locked," the redhead mumbles against her lips, breathing heavily. "No one's coming in."

Naomi nods, happy with the explanation. Tries to push thoughts of people finding out to the back of her mind, concentrating on how soft Emily's lips are as the redhead leans in again.

Emily tastes like peppermint but smells strongly of cigarettes and Naomi figures that she must have just had one, which means the redhead is probably skipping class. Doing god knows what with god knows who. Speaking of class. She should be in class. Has no idea of how long she's been here with Emily. Time seemingly irrelevant whenever she's with the redhead, as if they exist in some kind of frozen moment, the world continuing to move around them but they're not a part of it. At least that's the way she feels. Has no idea what Emily's thinking or feeling. Or if she's even thinking or feeing anything at all.

Naomi gasps as her mind is suddenly brought into sharp focus when she feels Emily's thumbs brush against the soft skin of the inside of her hips. Her eyes flicking open instantly. She's not used to people touching her, especially somewhere so sensitive, and she pulls her head back at the same time as she pushes against Emily's shoulders.

The redhead gets the message and pulls away, stepping back immediately and putting some space between them, both of them heaving deep breaths. Naomi is surprised to find Emily looking at her with a mix of concern and contrition. She clearly feels guilty, like she pushed too far and Naomi feels a tug in her stomach. Just wants to pull the redhead back to her and kiss her again and again because now that she thinks about it Emily's thumbs brushing her stomach did feel rather wonderful, she was just surprised.

But before she can even contemplate reaching out to the redhead Emily breaks the silence, her voice hoarse and thick, each word echoing in the small room despite them barely being whispered.

"We should probably get back to class."

The only thing Naomi can think is that Emily wants to leave. Her paranoid and insecure mind assuming that the redhead wants to get away from her and that she must have done something wrong. She tucks some blonde hair behind her ear and searches Emily's eyes for any sign of regret. Any sign that the redhead didn't want that as much as she did. Doesn't find any. Relief flooding through her. She finds the opposite in fact, when Emily offers her a smile, as if she knew the blonde was having a mini freak out in her head.

Naomi smiles back, exhaling a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, but feeling as if she's rooted to the spot and can't possibly move. Probably more like she's pinned down by Emily's gaze.

Emily nods silently, stepping forward and moving close to a surprised Naomi again, tilting her head up and kissing the blonde on the cheek. Naomi's breath hitches and her heart swells at the sweet gesture. Interprets it as a way for Emily to show her that she cares about her. They loch eyes again for an intense moment before the redhead steps back an opens the door, stepping through but glancing behind her as she does, offering Naomi a small smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Naomi simply blinks in response as Emily smirks and turns back around, heading on her way and leaving the blonde a little dumbfounded, staring at the back of the door that's closed behind the redhead. There was a note of promise in Emily's words, and Naomi wants to think that the redhead didn't just mean she'd see her in homeroom tomorrow.

Dares to hope that maybe they'll be doing this again tomorrow.

That maybe she'll be kissing Emily tomorrow.

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**People are always kissing in bathrooms in my stories...I must have a thing for bathrooms that I never realised...**

**If you'd like to leave a review that would be awesome...I'm really going to try and get on top of this writer's block shit...it's annoying me...feel free to join the chorus of me telling it to get to fuck...power in numbers and all that :P**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: You're all awesome...awesome awesome awesome...collectively we shall fight my writer's block! Also, a few of you are commenting on how crazy/in her head Naomi is beingwith Emily...it's on purpose and will play into the story later...and it might've just been me, but I know I completely lost my shit over the first boy I liked in high school and was an insecure, neurotic and obsessive mess...so I guess that's where some of it is coming from...I envy those of you who could be unflappably cool in front of someone you liked...I had to get really drunk...also...I've noticed a strange correlation between Naomily fans and liking Harry Potter...I'm not judging, I myself have been a Harry Potter nerd for ten years or more...it's just funny...good taste I guess :P**

**So anyway, what do you get when you combine overtired and emotional with an inordinate amount of caffeine, a redbull, a couple of glasses of wine and a few sneaky cigarettes? No, the answer is not a heart attack...yet...the answer is this chapter...it's short...but it's all I got...**

***Disclaimer – due to the above artificial stimulants, this could be total bullshit...or the best yet...though i doubt that, but who knows...and be prepared for some verbal wanking over my (and Naomi's) favourite book...oh, and I can't remember if I wrote Naomi's bedroom as being upstairs or downstairs and I can't be bothered checking, so it's upstairs as of...now...**

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.

Naomi hears the front door slam and cringes, her glasses shifting up her nose briefly, the nail polish brush held in her left hand pausing and hovering over her nail for a moment. Her mood instantly darkens. Not that it was that bright to begin with, but she's now feeling on edge.

Her mum is home. She's been working the evening shifts at the pub and sometimes she's home early if it's not a busy night. Sometimes the drunks in Bristol have an early night. Naomi prefers it when her mum comes home late though. The blonde usually hangs out in her room at night but lately she's taken to sitting at the kitchen table, reading or doing coursework or painting her nails, like now. The kitchen opens through to the small dining room and the lounge and also backs out to the yard, and she likes to have all that space to herself, rather than being cooped up in her room all night. But now she's not alone anymore. Her mum has ruined it.

She slips the cap back on the dark plumb nail polish momentarily and checks the time on her phone. Realises that it's actually later than she thought. That time has gotten away from her. Not surprising with how distracted she's been today, ever since her little bathroom encounter with Emily. Just the thought of it makes her stomach flip again.

Her mum makes a ridiculous amount of noise as she bustles down the hallway, and Naomi can gauge how far away she is by how loudly she can hear her swearing, no doubt jostling with the bags of crap she always seems to bring home. Leftover food or gossip magazines or a few things she'd picked up from Tesco on her way home, her new favourite place ever since she'd met Roger there. The blonde knows it's no use trying to leg it to her room and pretend she was never here, she wouldn't make it in time and then her mum would ask questions about her hasty exit and get dramatic about how she never wants to spend time with her. No, it's easier to sit through some annoy conversation and then excuse herself back to the quiet and calm and solitude of her bedroom.

Figuring that she might as well finish her nails while she's here, she picks up the cap and resumes painting them. Doesn't look up when she hears her mum's heels clinking onto the kitchen tiles.

"Naomi love..."

Naomi can hear the genuine surprise in her mother's voice. Fleetingly questions whether her mum had been hoping that she'd be upstairs too.

"...this is a change. You're usually holed up in your little batcave upstairs. Listening to angsty music and reading your books."

The blonde refuses to verbally acknowledge her mother's attempt at humour, rolling her eyes instead and keeping her head down, concentrating on her nails. Her mum doesn't seem to notice or care about her indifference, moving into the kitchen properly and dumping her bags onto the table in front of Naomi and huffing. Loudly.

The blonde still doesn't look up. Knows she's being rude but doesn't care. Knows that her mum is doing it on purpose because she's baiting her, wants Naomi to ask about how her day was so that she can unload on her, and the blonde is not in the mood for it tonight. Not after the headfuck that today has been. Her mum should be asking her about _her_ day. About how _she's_ feeling. About how she's been feeling ever since that day all those years ago when she saw what she saw. About how she still sees it sometimes when she closes her eyes.

But her mum never does, because she doesn't want to know the answers to those questions. And Naomi knows her mother doesn't want to know so she doesn't tell either. The blonde has read a lot of quotes about how secrets and silence can be like a cancer, how they might not kill you right away but they slowly decay everything from the inside out until they do. She figures that at some point it must get to a stage where keeping the secrets are more harmful than confronting the truth...but she's not there yet. Thinks that nothing could be as painful as confronting her particular truth.

But she'd still like her mum to ask.

Her head is still down but she can hear her mum rifling through her bags. Naomi smells curry and feels her stomach ache for something to eat. Not enough for her to indulge her mother.

"That's a nice colour on your nails," her mum tries again. "Bit darker than usual...bit more..._passionate_ perhaps."

There's a question in her mum's voice and Naomi instantly knows what she's hinting at. Rolls her eyes again. She'd rather not engage with her about dating because she knows the conversation will somehow lead to her mum and Roger, but she wants to nip her mother's thinking in the bud before it becomes annoying. Even more annoying that it already is.

Sighs loudly and finally lifts her head dramatically, locking eyes with her mum for a brief moment before resting them on the table in front of her.

"Not passionate mum. I just like the colour. And Freddie and I are just friends, so don't go getting any ideas."

She raises her eyebrows and eyes her mother pointedly for emphasis. Knows it has to be able Freddie because her mum doesn't even know that Emily exists. Thinks of the redhead again and her stomach flips. Can still feel her lips tingling from when Emily kissed her. Wants to feel it again. Emily's tongue in her mouth. Emily's thumb brushing against the skin of her hips...she feels a shiver ripple through her stomach. Shakes her head. Wonders if her blissful thoughts have shown on her face. Not that her mum would notice.

The older woman holds her hands in the air innocently. "Alright alright. I wasn't saying anything about Freddie."

Naomi shakes her head and lowers her eyes back down to her nails. Her mum is always saying something.

"I'm not surprised though, to be honest," the older woman says casually.

Naomi thinks her mum must know that she's close to really pissing her off but she can never help herself.

"He was a cute boy but I really didn't think he was your type. Although I did like that floppy hair."

Naomi doesn't respond save for scrunching her nose. Wonders how the hell her mum would even know what her type is. _She_ doesn't even know what her type is. Doesn't even know if it's boys or girls or both. Puts it down to her mum's penchant for romantic drama and conflict, and always wanting people to believe she knows about these things.

The blonde finishes up the last coat on her last nail and slips the cap back onto the small bottle, careful not to ruin her still drying nails, and then collects her phone in her other hand.

"Well, I'm going to head up to bed," she says quickly, standing and stepping away from the table, leaving no time for offers of tea and a chat. She'd like some of that curry, but that might provoke further conversation and she's not in the mood.

"Okay. Night."

Her mum doesn't sound too disappointed which pisses Naomi off even more. She stalks up the stairs and into her room, moving over to her bedside and clicking on the lamp, then picking up the remote to her ipod dock and turning on some music. It's times like these that she likes being in her room. Likes hiding away in here with her books and hr music and just her. No one else to judge or annoy her.

Just as she's pondering her solitude her phone beeps with a message, her heart no longer fluttering like it did earlier in the evening when she'd hoped it was Emily. It was no doubt Katie or Effy or Panda or even Freddie, all of which had texted her in the last few hours. But not Emily. She'd though about messaging the redhead, taking the initiative, but even in those brief moments when she was feeling brave enough to she had no idea what to say. She can't exactly write what she wants to, which is basically 'what the hell is going on between us?'. Everything else just seems like bullshit.

She picks up her phone, still careful not to ruin her nails, and falls back onto her bed. Shifts herself into position so that she's sitting up against the headboard. Presses the button that brings her phone to life and opens her inbox.

Emily.

Her breath catches and her heart leaps when she reads that it's from the enigmatic redhead, her fingers hastily opening the message.

"**Well, I never heard it **

**before, but it sounds **

**uncommon nonsense"**

Naomi's furrowed brow eases into a smile as she recognises the quote from 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', her heart beating rapidly in her chest, excited that Emily remembers that it's her favourite book and that she's actually messaged her. It's not the message she was after, but she'll take anything from the redhead at the moment. Feels pathetic thinking that, would never admit it to anyone, but it's true.

She rereads the message just because she can. Her mind swirling with memories of Emily's lips on her own and the redhead's body pressed flush against hers. Bites her lip, fingers hovering above her phone, contemplating her response, or if she should even reply in the first place. She wonders if maybe she should play it cool. Not message back. But that thought is fleeting. She wants to talk to Emily. Finds the whole exchanging quotes thing quite charming. Smugly thinks that the redhead couldn't have done this with any of the other girls she's seen, because they most likely don't know how to read.

She mentally scans the book in her mind, trying to come up with the perfect quote in reply, something that says something without actually saying it. It takes her a minute, but she eventually taps out her reply.

**'I can't explain myself, **

**I'm afraid, sir,' said Alice,**

**'Because I'm not myself **

**you see.'**

It's a classic but at least she's sure Emily will know it. Possibly read into it if she wants to, but it's not revealing in any obvious way.

Happy with her reply she presses send. Holds her breath and stares at the phone in her hand, waiting for it to vibrate again.

Her face lights up at the same time as her phone a minute later, the little device beeping and shaking I her hand. She feels her heart soaring with expectation, wondering what the redhead has replied with.

"**I almost wish I hadn't **

**gone down that rabbit**

**hole-and yet-and yet -**

**it's rather curious, you **

**know, this sort of life!"**

Naomi's breath hitches. She doesn't know if she's reading too much into it but she can't help thinking that Emily is talking about what happened between them. What _is_ happening between them. But then again she might just have the book in her lap, opening it to random pages. Naomi doesn't want to entertain that thought.

It takes her a few minutes, but she decides on a neutral reply. Has to get up and flip through one of her editions because she can't remember it exactly.

**Cat: "we're all mad here. **

**I'm mad. You're mad."**

**"How do you know I'm **

**mad?" said Alice.**

**"You must be," said the **

**Cat, "or you wouldn't **

**have come here."**

She smiles as she sends it, for once enjoying the anxious swirling in her stomach. It occurs to her that in some bizarre way she's flirting with Emily. And Emily is flirting with her. At least she hopes that's what's happening. Maybe. She doesn't know enough about flirting to even know what it is.

She dismisses her doubts when her phone beeps again, her stomach flipping fo the hundredth time.

**If you drink much from **

**A bottle marked 'poison' **

**it is almost certain to **

**disagree with you, **

**sooner or later.**

Naomi frowns, her eyes narrowing as she reads the quote again, not that she really needs to because she knows it off by heart she's read it so many times. Confusion swirls through her mind, an unsettling feeling creeping into her stomach. She doesn't know why Emily would send her that. Is she trying to warn her? And what is she warning her off from? Her? Freddie? Katie? It's an odd quote to just send someone, especially given the nature of the preceeding ones.

The blonde drops her phone into her sheets and studies it, as if it's a representation of Emily. As if she looks hard enough at it she can unlock it's mysteries. She wonders if she's reading too much into it. But she doesn't think so. Emily is smart. Emily must know what she's doing. The only question is, _what _exactly is she doing?

Something unpleasant settles in the blonde's stomach. Twists her insides and tightens in her chest. She debates replying, maybe with something fun and silly, but she's not in the mood anymore. The flirtatious nature of the whole thing evaporating quickly until there's nothing left.

She leans back against her headboard again and rubs at her temples, Katie's words from last week echoing in her head, her warning to all the girls who fall for Emily; _"They should stay away from her. She's a lost cause, and sooner or later they realise that and get their hearts broken in the process."_

Maybe Emily is trying to warn her.

Now all Naomi has to do is decide if she's going to listen or not.

.

.

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**Only a book nerd would have two people flirting through book quotes...I think it's hot/adorable/fun...I realise I'm probably alone in this...I can deal with that...**

**So I kind of progressed the plot there right? Threw some actual useful shit in there? Maybe?**

**Like I said this is either total shit or actual goodness...I can't tell...let me know!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: So, the results are in, and it seems you guys think I write better when I'm half-cut than when I'm sober...so I'll interpret that as you all giving me an excuse to launch headlong into alcoholism...thanks...I think I'd make a rather charming drunk actually...maybe a little slutty though...and speaking of, yay for quote flirting! it got the tick of approval from most of you, and a lot of you employ the tactic yourselves...good work ladies...**

**But thanks once again for your reviews...I feel very spoilt, and it's so awesome to hear your different theories on things, especially Naomi's relationship with Gina. There is still much to be revealed, so it will be interesting to see if your opinions change...especially because mine does constantly and I'm the one writing it! And I liked reading your thoughts on what Emily meant by that last quote...some of you were spot on...I'm not telling who :P And shout out to an anonymous reviewer who put a quote in their review...awesome...**

**Unfortunately I'm not drunk, but I'm slightly delirious because I've forgotten what sleep is...so this chapter may or may not be made of awesome...I can never tell what you peeps are going to like...hopefully this...it's another shortie but at least it didn't take me **_**too**_** long...compromise?**

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Naomi's sitting through her third period philosophy class trying to pay attention but failing miserably, the words of her teacher not registering in the slightest. She's day-dreaming about a certain redhead, even though she told herself she wouldn't. That she would heed both Katie and Emily's warnings and stay away from her.

Like that was a promise she could keep.

She doodles in her notebook while her mind replays their bathroom kiss from yesterday over and over again. She can still feel the ghost of Emily's touch bringing a shiver to her skin, a small smile to her lips that she doesn't even realise is there. A month ago she didn't know it was even possible to feel this way about someone. Had always thought that people were talking shit when they spouted convenient and cliché lines about feeling powerless against attraction and one thing leading to another and how they just couldn't help it. But now she gets it. She can understand people feeling that way because she feels like that about Emily. Like the redhead is a magnet and she has no control over her attraction. She has no idea why she feels so much for Emily and has since she first saw her, she just does. It's a little infuriating for the blonde because she's used to being in control of everything, especially her own feelings, but she can't control what she feels for Emily. She can admit that to herself now without going into freak-out denial mode immediately after.

It's everything else that is far more uncertain and confused. All the things that liking Emily entails. Naomi struggles with the question of whether or not it makes her gay, because something about that label doesn't seem to fit right. She's liked girls before and boys too, but she's never liked or wanted anyone or anything in the way she does Emily. It's terrifying. As is the prospect of her new friends finding out, especially Katie. She assumes that Katie will be angry with her, not want to be her friend anymore, and Naomi can't think of a worse outcome for this situation. Just the thought of it makes her stomach knot painfully, the horrible feeling of not being wanted aching in her gut. But so far she and Emily appear to have some unacknowledged agreement to stay silent on the matter, and none of their respective friends seem to be aware that they even know each other. Naomi certainly hasn't told anyone and she's pretty sure that neither Cook nor JJ knows, because Cook doesn't exactly seem the type who would keep that to himself. But the unspoken agreement also extends to each other, much to Naomi's frustration. They haven't spoken about what's happening between them, and as each minute passes Naomi finds herself increasingly anxious for answers.

She stills her hand and furrows her brow. Determines that next time she's with the redhead she won't let her infatuation or whatever it is get the better of her. She won't just let Emily back her into another wall and kiss her without a word, as appealing as that sounds. Tells herself that the next time she's alone with Emily, if there is a next time, she'll force the redhead to confront what's happening. Make Emily speak to her.

She almost believes she can do it.

Her phone vibrates in her pocket and startles her so much that she jumps in her seat. A couple of students around her notice and give her curious looks that she ignores. Her heart leaps with giddy excitement and she slides her phone out so eagerly that she fumbles with it and almost drops it, encouraging more stares from her neighbours for her to ignore. Takes a steadying breath before surreptitiously glancing at it while keeping it out of view from her teacher.

Her breath catches in her chest again when she sees that it's from Emily, her resolve to stay away from her melting in an instant, as her heart races.

"**so many out-of-the-way **

**things ****had happened lately, **

**that alice ****had begun to **

**think that very few ****things **

**indeed were really **

**impossible."**** - same place, **

**right ****now.**

Naomi feels her heartbeat increase exponentially, her stomach fluttering like someone's just released hundreds of butterflies in there. Slips the phone back into her pocket and bites her lip, considers what's she's just read. Something about the demanding nature of Emily's message grates on her. She doesn't like being told what to do. Doesn't like that Emily just expects her to drop whatever she's doing and come running, even though that's exactly what she'd done yesterday. She instantly feels herself rebelling against it. But Emily is possibly flirting with her again. With her favourite book again. Might even want to kiss her again.

She shoots her hand straight up in the air, wiggling her fingers excitedly as she waits for her teacher to notice, then practically runs out of the room and down the hall as soon as she's been excused.

It's not until she's almost there that Naomi remembers her determination to be firm with the redhead and force them to talk. She stops walking abruptly, almost tripping over her own feet. Steadies herself and takes a deep breath. Tries to focus her mind and stop it from replaying images of Emily's smile.

She's not going to let Emily kiss her into oblivion again. Not going to let the redhead get away with playing this little game when Naomi doesn't even know the rules. Doesn't even know which game they're playing. They're going to talk. Figure out what is happening.

Nodding in agreement with her own thoughts, Naomi takes off again, purposely walking slower and trying to take deep, even breaths. It's a struggle, she can feel her legs tensing with the need to get to the redhead faster and her chest tightening with shortened her breaths, but she manages to more or less keep her cool as she approaches the bathroom door.

Pausing in front of it she takes a moment to gather her composure. Glances down the hall in both directions to make sure no one is watching, and then shakes her head, dismissing the paranoid thought. She smooths down her hair and tucks some of it behind her ear. Didn't notice until this morning that she's been wearing it the same way all week. The same way she was wearing it at the party when Emily said she looked beautiful. Feels like a twat, like one of those bimbo girls she makes fun of who dress to catch the attention of boys they like. But she can't help it. It's like her mind is doing these things subconsciously.

She adjusts her clothes, shifting her skirt around her hips and buttoning up her cardigan the way it's supposed to be worn. Unbuttoning it a second later when she realises she probably looks like a librarian or something. She winces. Hates that she never looks cool enough or has the right clothes. Not like Emily. Emily always looks cool, even more so because the redhead never looks like she tries to. She just is. Naomi never feels more self-conscious than when she's around Emily, but at the same time she doesn't feel it at all. When she can feel the redhead studying her Naomi's hyperaware of everything she does, but at the same time she doesn't care, can't care because Emily is looking at her like that.

Realising that she's spent far too long staring at a door, Naomi pushes through it, much more tentative than she did the last time. Takes a cautious step into the room, her eyes sweeping the room quickly for the redhead, panic rising in her chest when her blue eyes fall on a brunette girl instead. Some girl Naomi has never seen before.

The girl glances up while washing her hands and Naomi tries to smile politely but is sure it looks more like a grimace. The brunette doesn't react and moves to the hand towels, tugging a few loose. Naomi shuffles over to the sinks to busy herself with washing her hands and pretending she's in the bathroom to do something other than meet a certain redhead, but as the cool water runs over her trembling hands her mind goes into hyper drive. She wonders where Emily is. If she's been stood up. If maybe she misinterpreted the message. Her stomach falls to the floor. Maybe Emily had been in here with this brunette girl and was rubbing it in her face for some reason.

She chances a sly glance over to the girl next to her, her eyes flicking over the brunette who is now fixing her make-up in the mirror. She's pretty, with deep brown eyes and delicate features, tall and slim with big boobs. Naomi decides that she hates her. Looks back down at her hands and thinks about how big her own boobs _aren't_. That a lesbian like Emily probably likes boobs, and she doesn't have much to offer in that department. She feels herself deflating more and more by the second. Avoids facing her own reflection in the mirror like she normally does, especially when she's in a mood like this.

She can see out of the corner of her eye that the brunette is looking at her hands, probably wondering what the small-boobed blonde girl is doing washing her hands so thoroughly. Naomi thinks she should probably stop, but she lets her anxieties out through her fidgety hands, and knows she needs to keep them occupied. With one final disapproving glance the brunette is walking away, pushing through the door, Naomi finally taking a deep breath and turning off the tap. Reaches up for a paper towel and dries them off. Figures she may as well go back to class because whether or not Emily is messing with her, she isn't here, and there's no reason for Naomi to be either, with the room mocking her with its emptiness.

She's just about to take a step away when a clicking noise behind her causes her body to pause. She finds herself holding her breath, an irrepressible hope flickering in her chest, swelling completely when as she watches blazing red hair appear from behind a cubicle door she didn't even realise was occupied, a half annoyed half amused expression on Emily's face that Naomi can't help but find incredibly sexy.

"Fuck, I thought she'd never leave."

Emily's voice is low and hoarse and hits Naomi low in her stomach.

Everything happens very quickly then.

The redhead moves swiftly over to the door and locks it, spins on her heel and shifts her focus to Naomi, intense chocolate brown eyes pinning the blonde down and sweeping any and all thoughts from her mind. Before Naomi can ask any questions or make any speeches or even say a word Emily's body is suddenly pressed against hers, their hip bones fitting perfectly, their lips moving together as the redhead's hands gently hold Naomi's face.

They kiss breathlessly for a few minutes, one of Emily's hands sliding around to the nape of Naomi's neck and pulling her impossibly closer, the other tangling in blonde hair. Naomi tentatively places her hands on Emily's hips, not feeling very confident or comfortable with touching the redhead yet, but not being able to stop herself either.

Naomi is short of breath and practically panting but doesn't care, not as long as Emily is kissing her like this. Her thumbs slip under Emily's t-shirt almost of their own accord in a mirror to what the redhead did the last time they kissed, brushing lightly across the incredibly soft skin they find, pausing when she feels something slightly raised on the skin inside Emily's right hip. She ghosts her thumb over it again trying to figure out what it is but no obvious answer comes to her. It's then that she remembers she'd seen a tattoo there on Emily, and while she never thought that tattoo's felt like that she doesn't know enough about it. Doesn't get the chance to question it too much because Emily presses closer to her and suddenly groans, and the _want_ that groan contains is all Naomi can think about. Emily wants her. Someone like Emily Fitch wants her.

Naomi's head is swimming with thoughts but they're less insistent that before, subdued by the lust she can feel from the redhead and that's coursing through her own body. Emily pulls away eventually but doesn't move out of their embrace like last time, her amused dark eyes locking with slightly bewildered blue, a small smile tugging up one side of the redhead's lips.

They stand like that for a moment that stretches out longer than Naomi feels comfortable with, the silence heavy with everything that hasn't been said, her heart thumping uncontrollably in her ears the only sound. She feels like she's squirming under Emily's intense gaze. Wonders for the hundredth time what the redhead is thinking. And if she'll ever get her answer. Opens her mouth to say something, anything, but she doesn't get the chance before Emily leans forward again and places a light, chaste kiss on her lips.

It makes Naomi's breath hitch. Her heart skip a beat. Her stomach swirling like never before. For some reason she finds this last minute, Emily gazing at her and that small kiss, far more intimate than what preceded it. The redhead's dark eyes are unreadable, but there is a tenderness in Emily's expression that makes Naomi's heart swell.

Emily steps backwards and moves out of Naomi's embrace, catching her hands before they fall from her hips and holding them in her own. The blonde isn't sure what to do or say, a million things bunching up in her throat but nothing being spoken. The redhead holds their arms out between them and gives Naomi's hands a light squeeze, accompanied by a soft smile.

Naomi feels like she's going to melt into a puddle right there on the bathroom tiles. Or attack the redhead with her lips again. Either way, there's an ache low in her stomach that she never wants to go away.

They keep their eyes locked for another moment and then Emily drops her hands. Nods her goodbye and then Naomi watches as she walks over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open, glancing over her shoulder and smirking at the blonde before she steps through and into the hall.

Naomi stands there for a moment, her body and mind humming with thoughts and emotions and sensations, each one overwhelming her, wave upon wave. It takes a minute, but after a few deep breaths, eventually the bubble she's been in for the last six or seven minutes pops, and reality hits her cold in the face. The dizzying haze of Emily lifts and the sensible and controlled Naomi returns. She clenches her eyes shut and winces, admonishing herself for getting carried away by the redhead once again. Again she's let Emily override all her common sense and get away with not confronting the situation. Once again she's let the redhead walk away from her without a word. Without any sense of clarity over their situation.

She glances to her side and her eyes slide up her own body reflected in the mirror until she's looking back at herself. Glaring reluctantly into her own icy blue eyes. Her father's icy blue eyes.

Needs a reminder of why it's not good to let herself feel this way about Emily.

.

.

* * *

**There always seems to be a sting in the tail doesn't there? :P**

**So...this wasn't exactly my plan for this chapter, but like I've said before, Emily Fitch does whatever she wants, I cannot control her. Next chapter will feature our other Skins ladies and maybe even Cook...if he decides to show up...maybe even Freddie...in a fight with Cook...now I'm just making stuff up...**

**Anyway, I don't think I'll need to change the rating on this or anything, but you should just know that in the next few chapters there'll be some dark emotional stuff developing that will weave in and out of the story...I'll do a little disclaimer on the applicable chapters, but just be aware that the angst hasn't even really started yet my friends...**

**So for now I bid you adieu...and if you'd like to leave a review encouraging Emily to go for it with a certain nerdy blonde I will pass it on...I told you I'm delirious...**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Fuck, I'm really sorry this took so long...I have no excuse other than life is shit and I've been avoiding using my brain while simultaneously killing any brain cells that I do have with alcohol, and believe it or not I actually use my brain to write this stuff...I've also been trying to master Microsoft Power Point because I have a birthday presentation to make, and it seems my dreams of its magnificence are disproportionate to my actual capabilities...but I'm still _super _committed to this story...I'll really try not to take so long next time...oh, and for all the stories I normally review but haven't, I'm really sorry. I will get to them eventually...**

**Anywayyy, I hear you ladies – you're loving all the book flirting and bathroom kissage but you want the plot to actually progress? You want Emily to actually **_**speak?**_** Then I think you'll like this...it's all part of the vague plan anyway...that I make up as I go along...that's a plan right? Oh, and apologies for how I write Pandora...some people can do it well...I'm not one of those people...anyway, this one's not my best but at least it's something...**

* * *

.

.

Thursday is the first time that Naomi lies to her friends about whatever's going on with Emily. Not an omission, not a deflection. A blatant lie. She feels terrible about it. Can't believe she got away with it for this long.

She's got her head stuck in her locker trying to get in and out quickly when she hears Panda call her name from down the hall, closes her eyes and curses her luck. She was really hoping to get away with disappearing for lunch without an explanation to her friends, but now that doesn't seem likely.

She turns to face Panda as the blonde bounds up to her excitedly, her golden pigtails bouncing around her head and a giddy smile on her face.

"Hey Panda," Naomi greets her, smiling in return despite her sour mood because Pandora has one of those infectious energies that can't help but rub off on you.

"Hi Naomi, I like your nails. Ready for lunch? I love lunch on Thursdays, cheeseburgers and chips. It's the only time I get to eat them because my mum doesn't like me having junk food at home because she says all the bad stuff in it makes me too excitable, but I don't care because it's yummy and I quite like cheese also, but mum says the cheese on them is artificial and not good for you..."

Naomi notices Katie and Effy walking towards them while Panda continues to ramble about cheese, her stomach twisting with anxiety as she tries to come up with a plausible lie for the inevitable questions her friends will ask once she tells them she can't have lunch with them. She can't exactly tell them that she's going for a secret rendezvous with Emily.

During third period she'd gotten a text from the redhead, her heart galloping as her anxious and somewhat reluctant fingers pressed the buttons on her phone and opened the message.

**"Adventures first...explanations **

**take such a dreadful time."**

**- meet me in the library at lunch.**

It had been a relief in some way, getting the message, but it had also caused even more anxiety. She hadn't seen Emily at college at all yesterday and hadn't heard from her either. Had debated sending a text all day until finally giving in during her second last class, spending a half hour composing a two sentence message, trying to sound extremely nonchalant and asking if the redhead was at college that day. She hadn't gotten a reply by the end of college, so she'd kept her phone close by at all times. Checked it almost compulsively, even though it would have beeped to alert her to a new message anyway. Her mum had noticed her obsession with her phone when she'd kept checking it during dinner but Naomi brushed it off easily. She didn't have a problem keeping things from her mum. She kept one eye on it all night, thinking of possible reasons why Emily hadn't replied, all of them starting off fairly benign and reasonable but then becoming quite insane and irrational as time went on without any response. She went from reasoning that maybe Emily's phone was out of battery or she'd left it somewhere or lost it, to imagining Emily had left her phone at some slut's house that she'd spent all day fucking. Or that the battery was dead because she'd been at some slut's house and spent all day fucking. Or that she'd lost it on her way to some slut's house that she'd spent all day fucking. Basically every scenario included Emily having dirty sex with some slutty girl, and it was all Naomi could think about until about 3am, when she proceeded to pass out, mentally exhausted.

But she'd woken up this morning feeling different. Didn't even bother to check her phone until she left the house for college because she knew Emily wasn't going to message her back. Emily did things when Emily wanted to, how Emily wanted to, and Naomi had finally realised that whatever was happening between them wasn't going to be anything real. And that was okay. At least if was over quickly without anything really happening. For all she knew it was a game to the redhead, but Naomi had decided not to play anymore. It wasn't like the other times she'd vowed to stay away from Emily – this felt different. Final. Like she'd finally learnt her lesson. It was made easier when Emily wasn't in homeroom, and Naomi had briefly let her mind wonder where the redhead might be before she shut it out completely. Reminded herself that she didn't care. Emily could have as much sex with slutty girls as she wanted. She didn't care. Despite what the knotted feeling in her stomach tried to tell her.

So when she'd gotten the text from Emily she was torn over what to do about it. Considered not responding at all and continuing to ignore the redhead, but it was increasingly difficult to ignore the ache in her stomach and the tightness in her chest. She'd gone back and forward on it all morning, finally making her decision just before lunch. She reasoned that she should probably meet with Emily just to tell her that this messaging flirting thing they are doing isn't going to happen anymore. That there will be no more bathroom kissing. Or library kissing if that's what the redhead has in mind. That's the only reason she's meeting her. Really.

"Are you still talking about the cheeseburgers Panda?"

Naomi's focus is drawn from her Emily dominated thoughts and her head snaps over to Katie, the brunette rolling her eyes and smirking affectionately at Pandora. It's something Naomi has noticed that Katie and Effy do, playfully making fun of each other in a loving way, but she knows that if anyone else said anything about one of them the other's would attack like pit bulls. Especially Katie. She wonders if they would defend her with the same protectivness. Likes to think that they would. That she's been accepted into their fold. Instantly feels a thousand times more horrible for keeping everything about Emily from them. For the lie she's about to tell. Comforts herself with the thought that this is the first and last time, because from now on there'll be no more reason to lie. No more Emily.

"Well I can't help it if I find them delicious," Panda says a little sulkily, and Naomi can tell that the other two have probably been giving her shit about it all morning. She knows that Panda is a little more sensitive to teasing than Katie and Effy.

"You're right Panda," Effy says as she sidles up to her and nudges her playfully with her elbow. "They are delicious, so what the fuck are we still doing standing around here then?"

Naomi panics. Realises that this is where she needs to come up with her lie. A reason she's not following them into the cafeteria. Her fingers fidget with the pages of the book in her hand, and she realises that she doesn't need to bend the truth too much. Not really.

She looks up to find Effy and Panda already turning and walking towards the cafeteria arm in arm. Shifts her focus over to Katie and finds the brunette looking at her expectantly, eyebrows raised.

"Well come on. Panda will probably eat all the cheeseburgers and she's been going on about them so much that she's brainwashed me and I'm craving one."

Naomi takes a deep breath. Can feel the blood pumping through her veins as her heartbeat speeds up. It's somehow worse that she only has to lie to Katie. As if instead of the lie being spread between the three of them it's now concentrated on Katie. The full weight of it on the one who would probably be most affected by the truth if it ever came out. The blonde keeps Katie and Emily so separate in her brain that sometimes she forgets that they're not separate. That they're twins. Twins who dislike each other and don't speak. And she's found herself in the middle of them. She's never had a problem lying before. Always finds it easy to tell people what they want to hear or what she wants them to think, but she can't stand the idea of lying to Katie. Especially about Emily. It's the epitome of how fucked up everything is.

"Oh, I'm not coming to lunch."

Her words are clear and precise. Much more careful than they usually are. If Katie had known her for longer she would have picked up on the subtle change in her, the forced calm, but the brunette doesn't seem to notice. Naomi wonders if her own mother would even pick it up, and she's suddenly hit with a wave of sadness at the thought that no one knows her well enough to notice these things. Then she thinks of Emily, and the way that a few times when they've been together the redhead has seemed to discern certain things that have made Naomi feel like maybe Emily knows her better than she thinks. But then she reminds herself that that's impossible, because they've barely spoken, especially in the last week. Emily just attacks her with her lips.

Katie pauses and stares at her, a smile gracing her lips. "Oh, okay. Got something more important to do than have lunch with your friends? Some hot lunchtime date huh?"

Naomi knows that Katie is only teasing but it hits a little too close to home, her breath catching in her throat and adrenaline coursing through her veins. He grips the book tighter, tries to keep the tension out of her expression and her voice. Laughs nervously.

"Not quite. Have to do some photocopying and research in the library because I won't have time after college and I need it tonight."

She knows enough to keep it vague. Holds up the book in her hand for emphasis as if it holds some significance.

Katie nods, accepting the lie without question. It makes Naomi feel even worse. Doesn't expect it when Katie asks if she wants her help to get it done faster, the brunette's sincere offer leaving Naomi feeling like she's been punched in the stomach.

Her eyes widen slightly and her voice rises an octave. She can feel a blush creeping up her neck. Knows she needs to get out of there quick.

"Oh no, I'll be fine. You go ahead though, before you miss the cheeseburgers. Panda's probably already had five by now."

She forces a smile and Katie chuckles.

"She'd just keep eating them if no one stopped her. I'll see you later."

They share a smile and Katie turns and walks away. Naomi watches until the brunette is out of sight, then leans back against the row of lockers and takes a deep breath, clutching the book to her chest.

She's startled by a beeping sound and movement in her pocket, her phone alerting her to a new message. She quickly pulls it out and checks it. Her stomach flipping when she sees it's from Emily.

**You know it's rude to keep **

**people waiting :P**

The cute little emoticon at the end does nothing to calm the anger that flares within the blonde upon reading the message. After ignoring her all yesterday Emily is now giving her shit about being rude?

Naomi purses her lips and steels herself, more determined than ever to put a stop to this with Emily. Slams her locker door shut before heading off towards the library, spiteful thoughts swirling through her head.

_She strings me along and she has the audacity to call me rude. Fuck her. She doesn't reply to my text probably because she's having sex with some slut and then she calls me out for keeping her waiting. Well she can get fucked, if she hasn't already today._

She's fired up by the time she marches into the library, nodding her head at the ever silent librarian and sweeping her eyes through the room. Emily isn't in sight but Naomi's not surprised by this, given the clandestine nature of their relationship? Friendship? Whatever it is, Naomi wasn't expecting Emily to be waiting at the door for her with a rose.

The library is empty, because apparently at Bristol college no student will go to the library when they don't have to. It's probably the most private space they'll find at lunch. Emily must know this and it's why she suggested meeting there, which annoys the blonde more, even though she's thankful for it. She might want to keep it a secret, but she has no idea why Emily would want to.

She walks through to the bookshelves along the back and wanders past each of them, checking the aisles for any sign of red. Gets to the end and there's nothing. No sign of Emily. She glances around quickly, paranoid thoughts of being set up for something creeping into her mind. Her gaze falls onto a door in the corner that she's never noticed before, and something propels her forward until she's twisting the handle. To her surprise it's not locked, and she pulls the door open, peering inside before she takes a step in. It's a small private study room with a couple of tables and chairs, a computer in the corner. It's darker inside here than the rest of the library, the small windowless room illuminated only by some dodgy dim lights.

Emily is sitting at one of the tables, her small body taking up much more space than it needs, relaxing across two chairs with her bum on one and her feet on the other while she taps at her phone. Her head whips up as soon as Naomi enters the room, their eyes locking and a smile breaking across her face that surprises the blonde, momentarily bewildering her because she can't stop her body from reacting to seeing Emily. Her heart thumping and her stomach fluttering with butterflies. And Emily looks _good_. Her cherry red hair is swept away from her face into a messy ponytail, some dark eyeliner accentuating her eyes, and a tight fitting singlet and some skinny jeans over some hi-tops. Naomi hates herself for ogling Emily so obviously, but she can't help it. She never can.

"Hey," Emily's husky voice greets her, sounding genuinely happy to see her. "I was wondering if you'd ever get here."

She swings her legs off the chair and stands, and Naomi still can't find her voice as Emily moves towards her.

"This door locks by the way. I've got a key."

She smirks and takes another step closer, and something finally clicks in the blonde and she moves back, careful not to get too close to Emily.

"We won't." Her voice cracks and she clears her throat, needing to speak with more conviction. "We won't be needing the door locked."

Curious dark brown eyes stare into resolute blue and Naomi feels her certainty fading as each second passes.

"Is something wrong?"

Emily sounds so sincere that Naomi almost breaks. Almost gives in. Almost locks the door and jumps the redhead.

But then she thinks about all the times she's seen Emily with other girls. All the times Emily has played with her mind. No. She won't let that happen again.

"Look Emily, I don't know what game you're playing with me or what your intentions are or whatever –"

"Intentions?" Emily smirks but it's not convincingly carefree. "Is this a Jane Austen novel?"

Naomi sighs. Tries to stay on topic even though Emily's smirk is quite distracting. As is the way her singlet stretches around her chest...

The blonde shakes the thoughts out of her head. Needs to stay focused.

"This isn't a joke Emily. You might do _this_...whatever this is...all the time, but I don't. And I think we should stop, before it gets any more complicated."

She nods her head just once at the end, like an emphatic full stop on the sentence.

Emily stares at her with that same unreadable expression that she always has. Naomi feels as if she's being studied. Evaluated. She breaks eye contact with Emily and stares at the floor. Knows she won't measure up to whatever the redhead wants anyway.

"I thought we were just...having fun. Getting to know each other."

Emily's tone is low and soft, and Naomi almost feels compelled to believe her. Like the redhead's voice casts some kind of spell over her. It would explain a lot.

But she manages to pull herself out of it. Keeps her thoughts on track.

"I'm serious Emily...I'm not one of those girls that runs around secretly kissing everyone in bathrooms and doesn't care," she looks down, a slight blush colouring her cheeks, "we've barely even talked."

Emily sighs loudly and nods. Like she knew the conversation was coming and she was on borrowed time. Naomi keeps her eyes down, feeling far too honest to look at Emily right now.

"I thought you didn't want anyone to know about...this..." Emily says softly.

Her voice sounds different to a moment ago in a way Naomi can't pinpoint. Less sure of herself maybe.

"...I thought you didn't want Katie to know."

It's the truth. Naomi isn't ready for anyone else to know yet. She thought Emily wasn't either, but the blonde is surprised by the hint of rejection in the redhead's tone. Can't help little bubble of hope swelling in her chest at the thought that maybe this was all Emily's way of protecting her. Feels the butterflies swirling in her stomach again like never before.

"My favourite colour is green."

Naomi looks up into kind brown eyes that are much closer than they were a moment ago. She hadn't noticed Emily step closer to her but now she finds herself standing less than a metre away from the redhead, the tension between them shifting again. Charged. She stares at Emily with questioning eyes, not quite sure why Emily is telling her her favourite colour.

"I like sunflowers, and if I could only eat one meal for the rest of my life it'd be lasagna. And my favourite TV show is called Man vs. Food, where some silly American guy travels around stuffing his face full of fatty food."

Naomi scrunches her nose at that last one, but her confusion remains.

"Emily, I don't...why are you telling me this stuff?"

The redhead takes another step forward, right into Naomi's personal space, making the blonde's breath catch in her throat. Emily stares at her with intense brown eyes, before they light up with a soft smile.

"You wanted to talk," Emily says simply by way of explanation. "You wanted to get to know me."

The redhead lifts a hand and tenderly tucks some blonde hair behind Naomi's ear, let's her hand linger on her cheek.

Naomi feels like she's holding her breath, her heart thumping furiously.

"Naomi Campbell, would you like to go on a date with me?"

.

.

* * *

**Who could refuse that offer? :P**

_**Man vs. Food**_** is a real show by the way if you haven't heard of it. I've recently discovered it and am obsessed...it'll change your life...probably not in a good way...**

**Oh, and you should bookmark this site - www .youtube. com/user/niceoneblondie - hit play on the playlist and listen to it every time you're on your computer...there is some awesome shiz on there and you fail at life if you don't love it...**

**I know I probably don't deserve them but reviews and feedback would be much appreciated...they really are useful when I write. Also, for all the Memories & Dust fans; I am going to finish that off and hopefully it won't take me too long, but I need your help. I have one of the two chapters left planned but I need an idea for the other one, so...give me your ideas...as long as it's different to what I've already covered, shoot them my way...thanks.**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks once again for your reviews...you guys are _truly _awesome. I could apologise for my absence and tell you why this chapter took so long but I know what you all want, so I'll just shut up now...**

**Actually, one more thing: I think some of this chapter might be a bit silly maybe?...but I don't give a fuck...hopefully you won't either...**

* * *

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.

Naomi hears the front door unlocking, accompanied by the usual cacophony of flustered sounds that indicate that her mother is home; plastic bags swishing, keys jangling, and a muttering of curse words under exasperated breath.

The blonde stops in her tracks and winces. _Shit_. She'd been hoping to sneak out before her mum got back from Tesco. Before she could be peppered with questions about where she's going and who she's going with and what they'll be doing. Her stomach is already knotted with nerves, she doesn't need her mother making her even more anxious.

She sighs, resigning herself to the inevitable, because climbing out the window requires far too much effort and more coordination than she has. Plus, she's in a skirt. So she steels herself as best she can. Gives her reflection the onceover in the mirror one last time, to make sure nothing has changed from when she looked a mere minute ago. She doesn't think she's ever been so nervous about the way she looked before. Emily told her to wear something casual, so after about three hours of trying on everything she owns in different combinations, she finally settled on her favourite skirt and a girly top, a cute little blazer and some flats. She knows she doesn't look perfect, doesn't think she looks half as appealing as some of the girls she's seen Emily with, with their boobs and long legs on display, but she looks pretty good. She's made an effort with her hair and make-up too, another reason why she didn't want her mother to see her before she left. Her mum will know. She might not know the truth, but she'll know that something is different.

So she decides to go on the offensive, a tactic that sometimes works, where she talks and moves quickly and doesn't give her mum a moment to interrupt. As she grabs her bag her eyes fall to the scribbled note explaining her whereabouts that she'd planned to leave for her mother, some story about studying at Panda's house. She scrunches the paper into a ball in her fist. Obviously she can't use that excuse with the way that she looks and the obvious effort that's gone into it.

"Naomi?" she hears her mum call from the front of the house.

She takes a deep breath, throws the paper ball in the small plastic bin as she walks out of her room and down the hall, her heart hammering in her chest. She's used to lying to her mum about many things, but lying about Emily feels different. She doesn't know why.

She finds her mum in the kitchen with her back to her. Stands at the threshold of the room, deliberately doesn't step in.

"Hey mum, I was just about to leave you a note. I'm just on my way out."

Her mum swivels around as she speaks, and Naomi watches as the older woman takes in the way she looks, tries to act nonchalant.

"Oh wow, you look nice," her mum remarks, and Naomi is annoyed by the surprise in her tone. Takes it to mean that she doesn't usually look nice. Feels even more self conscious than she did before.

"You look a bit more dressed up than usual," her mum continues after a beat, "going somewhere special? A _date _maybe?"

Naomi laughs nervously, trying to feign shock at such a ridiculous question, but it comes out strained. Her eyes dart around the room and she tries desperately to lock them onto her mother's to appear less skittish, but her nerves won't let her. She holds the strap of her bag in one hand and her other is in her blazer pocket to stop them fidgeting. Reverts to her backup lie.

"Not a date, just dinner with my friends. Katie wanted to go to this nice restaurant in town so we thought we'd all get a bit dressed up."

She holds her breath when she's done. Finally looks at her mum and studies her face for her reaction.

"That sounds lovely." Her mum's smile quickly fades and her brow furrows. "But you've never been out into town on a school night before have you? Should I be worried? Saying something about curfews and not getting arrested and talking to strangers?"

For most parents it would be a joke because of course there should be rules for their teenage daughter going into town at night, but Naomi knows that her mother is serious. She's been such a hassle-free daughter than Gina hasn't had to do much parenting, so a situation like this poses a conundrum for her about what the proper protocol is.

"I'll be fine mum, and I won't be home too late at all." She smiles innocently, and then just to seal the deal adds, "You know I never do the wrong thing."

Her mother nods and smiles proudly, and despite everything Naomi still feels a twinge of guilt at lying to her mother, who trusts her so implicitly. Trusts her to be the Naomi that everyone thinks she is. Dependable, stable, controlled.

_Boring_.

It almost makes her want to do something stupid just to prove them all wrong. Although going on a date with Emily Fitch might be just stupid enough.

"You're right," her mum says as if she's admonishing herself for even questioning it. "Do you need a lift somewhere?"

"No I'll be fine. We're all meeting at Panda's and then taking the bus, and Panda doesn't live far from here, I'll walk."

She's glad for the fact that her mum doesn't know that Panda actually lives at least a thirty minute walk from their house. Not that she's actually going there.

"Alright, well, if you're sure?"

Naomi nods.

"Do you have enough money?"

She nods again.

"Well then," her mum shrugs, "have fun I suppose."

Naomi flashes a quick smile before taking off, eager to get out of the house and fearing that she's running late. She doesn't want to leave Emily waiting for her.

They'd decided to meet at a corner a couple of streets away from Naomi's house. Emily had very sweetly offered to pick her up at her door but Naomi had refused it immediately, knowing that she didn't want Emily going anywhere within sniffing distance of her mother. She didn't need to deal with those questions. But her vehement refusal seemed to hurt the redhead somewhat, and Naomi had quickly mumbled something about her mum being a pain in the ass and not wanting to deal with her questions. But from the look in Emily's eye it was obvious that she knew Naomi didn't want her mother to know, and not just because she didn't want to deal with questions. Emily let it slide though, nodding her head and then figuring out another meeting place.

Naomi rounds a corner and the place where they've agreed to meet comes into view, as does the redhead who is standing with her back facing her, looking even smaller from this distance. The blonde feels something swelling in her chest and a smile breaking across her face. Can't remember the last time she felt such joy at seeing another person before. Doesn't know if she ever has. Although the feeling is accompanied by intense anxiety, her stomach swirling with nerves and her hands feeling clammy.

She notices Emily standing in front of something. One of those motorised scooter things that she's seen people drive around Italy in movies. Her heart leaps out of her chest. This was never part of the plan. She'd thought they'd take the bus or something.

Emily's head swivels around in a casual glance, and Naomi watches her do a double take when the redhead notices her walking towards her. A smile lights up Emily's face, and Naomi knows hers is matching. She tears her gaze away from those enigmatic brown eyes and takes in the rest of Emily. The redhead is wearing tight skinny black jeans with sneakers, and a white singlet with a red and black plaid shirt buttoned over the top, a tight charcoal cardigan over that. Her hair hangs effortlessly around her shoulders, her eyes dark with eyeliner, and her lips coloured with bright candy apple red lipstick.

Naomi's first thought is to wonder whether the lipstick will stain her own lips when she kisses Emily. _When_, not _if_. Knows that will be a dead giveaway if her mother sees her later tonight. If anyone sees her. Doesn't stop her magining a path of faint red marks trailing from her lips across her jaw, then down her neck and disappearing under her top.

She feels something flutter low in her belly. Likes it.

Her second thought is that Emily looks like a lesbian. Not like the women with shaved heads and work boots that she's seen on TV, but there's something obvious about Emily's sexuality. Naomi thinks that people are going to know Emily's a lesbian and probably think that she's one as well. Probably whisper about them and glare at them in whatever restaurant or wherever they end up going.

Her smile slips slightly. The nerves starting to trump the excitement. She doesn't know if she's ready for this. Dating a _girl_.

But her legs continue to propel her forward, mostly because she can't help thinking how hot Emily looks, and where else that red lipstick might stain her skin.

She pulls up just in front of Emily, the two locking eyes for a long time, smiles stretched across their faces.

"Hi," Emily almost purrs, and Naomi instantly feels like she wants to touch the redhead in some way. Concentrates on standing still because her body wants things that her mind isn't ready for.

"Hey."

"Wow you look..." Emily smiles, her eyes running up and down the blonde. Lowers her voice a notch. "You look beautiful."

Naomi can feel herself barely able to contain a beaming smile. She doesn't see it, but Emily telling her she looks beautiful makes her feel it. Also increases the swirling in her stomach.

"Thanks."

She wonders if she should return the compliment. Doesn't know how any of this works. Dating another girl. She barely knows what it's like to date a boy, so dating a girl is a complete mindfuck. A million thoughts bombard her mind, and her apprehension and confusion must show in her expression because Emily takes a step forward, placing a comforting hand on the blonde's arm.

"Naomi? Are you okay?"

Naomi's eyes flick up to meet Emily's concerned gaze then and something happens. Her brain malfunctions and she actually starts blathering out the thoughts that are occurring to her. Like her filter is malfunctioning.

"I'm just a little freaked out. I mean, I don't know how any of this works. Is one of us supposed to be the boy and pay for things? And who decides who that is? Is it me because I'm taller? You because you've dated other girls before? What happens wh –"

"Whoa. Naomi."

She feels Emily stepping closer into her space and holding her other hand out to her arm. Is surprised to find the close proximity oddly calming. As are the intense brown eyes staring into hers. And the amused smile tugging up the redhead's lips.

"Yeah?" Naomi manages to mumble.

"Don't think so much. You're starting to freak me out. Just...relax. There are no rules here. It's not about us both being girls okay? This is about you and me, Naomi and Emily."

Naomi surges forward then, Emily's lovely words driving her until their lips are pressed together, obviously taking the redhead a little by surprise if the gasp that escapes her lips is any indication. This is the first time Naomi's instigated a kiss but she doesn't think about that, doesn't think about anything other than how soft Emily's lips are and the feel of Emily's hand sliding up her neck to cup her cheek. Naomi's mind is oddly quiet, her brain focusing on the physical sensations firing through her body right now. The shiver down her spine. The heat radiating from wherever Emily's skin is touching hers. The flutter low in her stomach that has nothing to do with nerves. The kiss is chaste but lingering, the two girls lost in the moment until a passing car brings them back to reality, Naomi stepping back and out of Emily's embrace.

She studies the ground for a moment while she tries to compose herself, before finally looking up with a sheepish smile. Finds the redhead staring back at her with an amused smile that's a lot softer than a smirk. Adoring even.

Naomi's not sure what to say. Is thankful when Emily finally fills the silence.

"So this is my baby."

The redhead turns and takes a step back. Slaps her hand on the seat of her scooter.

Naomi winces. She'd almost forgotten about that. Her eyes run over the scooter. Its red paint is chipped and scraped and the little dash with the odometer and other gauges looks old. The whole thing looks like it shouldn't be running anymore.

"I can tell by the look on your face that you're worried, but trust me, you've never been safer. You'll be okay."

The words do little to ease the blonde's nerves because she never believes people when they tell her she'll be okay. Mostly because they're usually lying and saying that to placate her, like they did at her dad's funeral. But something in her trusts Emily, even though she has reason not too, so she nods her head and accepts the helmet that's being offered to her.

She follows Emily's lead and puts the helmet on, thankful that she hadn't pinned her hair up because it would have been ruined.

Emily climbs onto the scooter and turns to face her. Naomi's chest feels so tight she can barely breathe, but she can still appreciate how good Emily looks on the thing.

"Right, so you jump on behind me and hold on around my waist okay?"

Naomi nods. Not conscious of the challenge her being in a skirt poses until she attempts to mount the seat gracefully.

"You could have told me we would be going on this thing," she admonishes the redhead playfully. "I wouldn't have worn a skirt."

Emily chuckles her throaty laugh, and Naomi doesn't care if she's being laughed at or with, as long as she can hear that laugh again and again.

"If I'd told you, you wouldn't have come," the redhead says simply.

Naomi opens her mouth to protest but closes it again quickly. It's true. When she and Emily had been discussing the logistics of their date she'd felt completely overwhelmed, and the mention of a scooter being their transport maybe have tipped her over the edge.

She'd immediately said yes when Emily had asked her out, and the redhead had kissed her thoroughly, before they sat down and talked about the date. Emily wanted to take her out that night, somewhere she wouldn't tell Naomi. The redhead had briefly mentioned again that Naomi wanted it kept a secret, and when the blonde confirmed the idea with a nod of the head she'd thought she'd seen hurt briefly colour Emily's expression. But she didn't question it because she wasn't prepared for the answer. Thought it was complicated enough for a first date without stirring up even more trouble.

But Emily is right, if she'd told her about the scooter Naomi more than likely would have called the whole thing off.

She smiles to herself. Likes that Emily already knows her so well.

It's not graceful, but she manages to slide herself onto the scooter behind Emily, her arms reaching out to the redhead's hips tentatively, a smile sneaking onto her face. She runs them around Emily's waist, pressing against the redhead more than is necessary, but she knows she's not the only one who enjoys it when she hears Emily intake a sharp breath.

Her arms come to settle around the front of the redhead and their bodies are pressed flush together. Briefly wonders if this was why Emily wanted to travel this way in the first place. Says as much to the redhead, feeling bold.

"You just wanted to ride this thing so that you'd have me pressed up against you huh?"

Emily turns her head slightly and chuckles, and Naomi can feel the redhead's stomach muscles tensing under her palms. She likes it.

"This is just a pleasant benefit. But it was either this or the public bus, and I didn't think you wanted to take a chance on being seen."

Emily keeps the levity in her voice but Naomi is sure she hears an underlying accusation. It rattles her for a moment and all she can think to do is squeeze her arms a little tighter around Emily, lean closer into her back. She wants Emily to know that she appreciates how sweet she's being, especially because she's convinced she hasn't done anything to deserve it.

She gets her answer when Emily's hand moves to cover hers that are wrapped around the redhead's waist, sinking back into Naomi a little. They sit like that for a moment, Naomi's arms moving in and out with Emily's breaths, before the redhead finally straightens up.

"You ready for this?"

It feels like Emily's question is about much more than this scooter ride. Naomi feels the gravity of what is really being asked. Knows that if she does this there's no going back, for either of them, and that Emily is giving her one more out.

She could take it. She could say she changed her mind and go home. Give in to every fear and anxiety and thought that she wasn't good enough. It would be easy. Much easier than the alternative, and she's always done the easy thing. Always hidden in her room with her books. She's always thought that taking the easy way out is a family trait.

But she doesn't want to be that person. She doesn't want to be the girl who dreams about having the kind of adventures in life and love that she's read about in her books. Doesn't want to always be running away from things. Wants to run toward something for a change. Toward Emily. Even if it ends up in disaster.

It's thrilling and terrifying at the same time, the way she always feels around Emily. It could be the best choice she's ever made or the biggest mistake, but something about Emily Fitch makes her want to take that chance.

So she tightens her hold around the redhead, leans in close to her ear and takes a deep breath.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

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* * *

**So, I wasn't intending to leave it here but I'm fucking tired...(it's 3.30am). I'm going to try like hell to finish their date and upload it around the same time tomorrow...if I don't I give one of you permission to punch me in the face...seriously, I've blown off plans to get this done because I've been an ass with uploading lately...so I'm gonna try.**

**Also, I just wanted to put in a shameless plug for something I like. Aussies might be familiar with a singer named Katie Noonan (she is awesome!), although nobody else probably is. Anyway, she is odd but fantastic, and her and her band have an awesome duet with Sia called 'Sweet One'. It's wonderful and weird in a way that both her and Sia's songs are always wonderfully weird, but I just thought I'd let some of you know it exists, because it's brilliant and you may not have heard of it...you can find it here: www .youtube. com/watch?v=pKf8IECZph8**

**Again, I'm sorry I took so long...please leave a review to tell me how annoying I am...or your thoughts on the chapter...i have a fairly firm idea of where Emily is taking Naomi for their date but if you have any let me know, they could be better than mine!**

**:)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Look! I made it! I may be bleary eyed and on the verge of passing out but I kept my promise! Nobody needs to punch me in the face...actually, hold that thought. Now for the bad news that might actually be good news – this is not the full Naomily date. I don't know what happened, but it turned into something bigger than I had planned and I kind of ran out of time. So think of this as like part 2 of 3...I'm really going to try and get part 3 done tomorrow or the next day...apologies for any disappointment...I think it'll be worth it though...plus, three updates in as many days potentially, that aint bad?**

**Big thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially **_**I'mjustafanficreader**_**, who warrants a special mention because she left a bunch of them from chapter one onwards...that takes some dedication, and is much appreciated, as are all of the reviews get...big love.**

**Oh, and again, some of this might be **_**just a tad**_** implausible...I doubt breaking and entering is as easy as I make it seem...also, I know absolutely nothing about Bristol other than what Skins showed me, so all my references to anything in Bristol is completely made up...especially all the history stuff...it's more convenient for my story...**

**So here you go, some more of their date...Emily's got game...**

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Naomi holds firmly onto Emily's waist as they zip quickly through the streets of Bristol on the scooter, her head ducked low behind the redhead and her eyes closed. She's terrified, has never been on a motorbike or anything this exposed before, feels as if her heart is going to beat right out of her chest. As her grip around Emily tightens she knows that the redhead must get the hint, because she can feel the scooter noticeably slow down somewhat, and after a minute or two she feels confident enough to lift her head and open her eyes.

She can't help but gasp as she takes in the scene surrounding her. She's never seen Bristol at night like this before, not even when she was out with Freddie. The streets and shops and houses lit up with lights, boats coming in and out of the harbour, people strolling down footpaths. It's an unseasonably mild night, just enough warmth from the day hanging in the air to make it comfortable, although Naomi does feel a little chilly from the wind whipping over her as they drive.

Not much around her looks familiar, which isn't surprising considering she still hasn't seen most of the city she now lives in, and she has no idea where they are. Has the distinct impression that they're moving out of town though. She's only gone into town with the girls a couple of times, and even then it's been mostly to the same places. Everything feels new, like she's discovering something she never knew existed, and she almost wants to laugh with how appropriate that feeling is on her first date with Emily.

Everything goes by in a blur and Naomi is surprised by how calm she feels, how right it feels to be on the back of Emily's scooter. She expected to feel overwhelmed or nervous, an anxious mess, but now the only reason her stomach is flipping is because she can feel Emily's stomach beneath her fingers.

After about twenty minutes they slow in front of a huge wrought iron gate, a massive Victorian mansion guarded behind it, with manicured lawns and beautiful gardens. The sun has set for the day but the moon and the street lights provide enough light for her to see easily. Her eyes run over the beautiful building, taking it all in, before she suddenly remembers that Emily has taken her here. The thoughts come quickly then, wondering what this place is and why Emily has brought her here and what they're going to do. She briefly questions whether this is where Emily lives, although that seems implausible, and the redhead isn't offering any answers yet. Hasn't even turned off the engine as they sit there idly.

Naomi gets at least one answer when her eyes fix on a plaque on the gate that tells her that this is the Prendergast Mansion, with the house and garden open to the public although apparently it closes at 5pm on a weeknight. _That'll explain the locked gate and darkened rooms_, Naomi thinks to herself.

She's still wondering what they're doing there when Emily finally cuts the engine, sits up straight and lowers her legs and kicks the stand to the ground but also helps steady the scooter with her tiptoes.

Her arms still held firm around the redhead, Naomi moves when Emily does, sitting up slightly. They stay like that for a moment, Naomi's mind still wandering, staring at the house and thinking about what they could possibly be doing.

"Naoms?" Emily says softly, her amused voice pulling the blonde out of her daze.

Naomi's stomach flips when it sinks in that Emily has called her _Naoms_, the affection in her husky voice when she uses the nickname sending Naomi's heart fluttering. It's familiar, and she takes it as another sign that she and Emily are really getting closer. That it's not just riddles and quotes and stolen kisses.

"Yeah?"

"As much as I've enjoyed having you holding on to me like this, you're going to have to let go if we're ever going to get off this scooter."

Naomi blushes and immediately retracts her arms from around Emily. "Oh, right."

She knows Emily was only teasing but she can't help feeling like an idiot, especially after she thought she'd been doing so well, passing for socially normal even.

Emily steps down from the seat and easily extricates herself from the scooter, lifts the helmet off her head and rests it on the handlebars. Her hair falls perfectly around her shoulders again as if it hadn't been disturbed, and Naomi groans inwardly because she knows that's not going to be the case when she removes hers. Every morning she wakes up with her hair sticking out in all directions, and when she used to ride her bike she'd take her helmet off and it'd be a disaster. She wishes she had thought about this earlier, although there still wouldn't have been much she could do about it.

Emily turns to her with a small smile and an outstretched hand and Naomi takes a hold of it gently, but is forced to grip onto it tighter when she loses balance and almost topples over taking the bike with her.

The redhead moves swiftly and manages to steady her, and Naomi has never felt so uncoordinated and idiotic in her entire life, including the six months she was at one school where sport was mandatory and they forced her to play tennis.

Then she realises that she's being held in Emily's arms, and suddenly looking like an idiot comes with a rather lovely side effect. Emily is looking at her with unguarded affection, and it makes the breath hitch in her chest. They stand like that for an intense moment, before Emily breaks the silence, her voice thick as her eyes flick up to the helmet Naomi's still wearing.

"Maybe you should keep that on all night. You seem to be quite accident prone."

The blonde can't help but smile, and the tension now relaxed between them they both take a step back.

"Very funny," she says with feigned annoyance.

She can feel the redhead watching as she takes off her helmet, pulling it off slowly and praying that it hasn't left her hair looking too ridiculous. She hadn't done much with it tonight, just some light curls, but she won't be surprised if it's looking like she's just walked through a wind tunnel.

Emily takes the helmet from her and hangs it on the other end of the handlebar, and Naomi's hands fly to her hair instantly, trying to survey the damage and checking that nothing feels out of place. She doesn't even notice Emily moving closer to her until she feels warm hands firmly holding her forearms, halting their movement.

"Your hair looks perfect," Emily says simply, and blue eyes flick up to meet brown.

Naomi can't help but feel reassured by the sincerity held in the redhead's gaze, and she lowers her arms and tries to forget about what her hair might be doing right now. Decides to focus on something else.

"So what are we doing here anyway?"

Emily turns to her with her trademark smirk, and Naomi immediately knows that she's not going to get a straight answer, but she waits for one anyway.

"I want to show you something," Emily says simply.

The blonde looks to the mansion. "In there?" Her voice falters with uncertainty. The house doesn't exactly look inviting, shrouded in shadow, and she's a bit of a scaredy cat. Plus, it's closed, so she's not sure how they're going to get in.

But she doesn't get an answer. Watches as the redhead wordlessly takes a hold of the handlebars of the scooter and walks it over to a large shrub along the outside of the fence, partly obscuring it from view. At that Naomi is sure that they're probably doing something illegal, if not frowned upon. She's torn between being excited and terrified by the idea, because she's never done anything illegal in her life. Never really done anything wrong either, if you don't count all the lying she's been doing recently.

"Come on," Emily calls to her. "We're going round the back."

Naomi takes one last cautious look at the mansion before looking back at Emily. Takes a deep breath. Decides that she's already gone this far carried by impulse and curiosity, she may as well keep following the redhead, much like Alice and the White Rabbit. Look how well that turned out.

She draws level with Emily and feels a small warm hand find hers, their fingers interlocking, before Emily leads them down the side fence. Naomi squeezes her hand gently. Likes that Emily is always seeking hers out.

Only a dim light penetrates through the surrounding trees so they walk slowly, Naomi's eyes trained to the ground to watch her step, a silence settling between them. The property is huge and they walk soundlessly for longer than she would have thought.

Her mind is buzzing with thoughts, not sure if she's supposed to speak or what she's supposed to say. Wonders if Emily is being quiet because she wants her to be quiet too or because she wants her to speak, which brings her back to the fact that she doesn't know what to say. She tries to think about what she'd talked about on the only other date she's been on with Freddie, but then realises that he'd talked about himself most of the time while she listened. She gets desperate, remembers an interesting story she'd read in the paper yesterday and is about to recount it for Emily when the redhead finally speaks, much to Naomi's relief.

"This mansion is almost 200 years old and it was a church for some 400 years before that, but then the wealthy Prendergast family bought the land, knocked the church down and built this."

Naomi is too busy looking up at the building to notice Emily has stopped until she feels a gentle tug on her arm. Smiles sheepishly at Emily's smirk and then takes a step back to level with her. Follows the redhead's eye line until she notices what looks like it might be a small gate, built into the fence and mostly hidden by shrubs.

She feels Emily's hand leave her own and misses the warmth instantly, a chill in the air now more noticeable in the shadows. Watches as the redhead sweeps the vines and branches off the gate with one hand, her hand fumbling with a key until it's unlocked.

She glances back at Naomi clearly impressed with herself, and the blonde can't help but roll her eyes. It seems to make Emily grin even wider.

Emily reaches her arm back again and Naomi places her hand in the redhead's small palm without even thinking. Follows Emily through the narrow gate, ducking her head to make sure she clears it. It's then that she realises what they're doing. Breaking and Entering. Well maybe not breaking, but they're definitely entering where they're not supposed to be. Emily might have a key but Naomi can tell from the cautious way that the redhead's eyes are sweeping the area that they're not supposed to be there.

"Are we trespassing?" she whispers, suddenly paranoid that they're being watched.

Emily chuckles loudly, clearly not as concerned with being overheard as her date is. "I told you, I wanted to show you something. Trust me, you're going to like it."

They walk further around the back, Naomi tugged along by Emily as she scans around the garden. It's beautiful, perfectly manicured and maintained, the moonlight bouncing off the colours of the flowers.

But the grass then gives way to pavers, and she treads across them softly even thought Emily doesn't seem bothered by the sound they're making. They draw closer to the building and Emily pulls out yet another key, unlocking the solid looking door with a click, and it's not until then that Naomi really realises that they're actually going inside. Inside the dark and closed mansion.

Emily holds the door open for her and flicks on the light, gesturing for her to go inside but Naomi simply blinks at her for a moment, her rapid heartbeat thumping in her ears and a no doubt terrified expression on her face.

"Trust me," Emily says quickly.

Naomi stares at her, and as the moment stretches on watches Emily's smirk start to drop, as if she realises the gravity of that statement. Her expression becomes unreadable, and Naomi can't decide whether Emily is being sincere or is wishing she could take it back, but all the blonde does know is how she feels.

So she takes a step inside, tentative at first until she's standing a little further into the entryway, her eyes scanning around the room as Emily follows and closes the door behind them.

The house is beautiful, everything perfect and shiny and in its place, and Naomi finds her feet moving as the impulse to explore the enormous mansion carries her forward. But then she remembers that they're trespassing and turns back to the door, finds Emily punching buttons on a little keypad that she assumes is the alarm.

The redhead turns to her and smirks. "Come on."

She holds her hand out and Naomi takes it again, follows as Emily leads them down a hallway and through rooms, turning on a couple of dim lamps as they go to light their way. The blonde is a little freaked out, a _lot_ freaked out actually, waltzing through the halls of a darkened old mansion that is most likely haunted. From what she's learnt from TV and in movies old houses are always haunted. She wonders how she could ever agree to this. Emily could be leading her to a ritualistic sacrifice for all she knows. But then she realises that that's her answer right there – Emily. She's going because Emily asked her. Following because Emily is leading her. Trusting Emily. Almost as if she doesn't have a choice in the matter.

They come to a stop outside double doors. Naomi looks around instinctively to try and figure out where they could be, her eyes finally falling on the redhead and locking with hers, a small nervous smile on her lips.

"This is what I wanted to show you," Emily says softly, dropping Naomi's hand and pulling out yet another key, unlocking the doors and then using both hands to open the double doors together.

Naomi finds herself holding her breath, half in anticipation of what it is that Emily wants to show her, and half in hope that it's something she'll like. Wants Emily to know her well enough to know what that would be.

Emily's hand slips into the room and along the wall, and Naomi hears a click and suddenly everything is bright. She blinks a few times and waits for her eyes to adjust to the light, then takes a step forward, her mouth dropping open as her brain comprehends the sight before her.

She steps forward again as her wide eyes sweep around the room quickly, her heart swelling and her mind reeling. It's a library. One of the most beautiful libraries she's ever seen. Mahogany bookshelves line the walls and reach up two stories high, their selves filled with books of all shapes and sizes. Two ladders run the length of the room on each side, several small tables with armchairs scattered around them in the middle of the room. Soft, lush carpet and artwork on the walls. It's perfect.

Naomi takes it all in, the thousands of books and their antique musty smell, her jaw still on the floor. She hears Emily walking up behind her and standing by her side.

"Eventually there was only one Prendergast left. A quiet, anti-social woman who liked to collect books. This library was the love of her life."

Naomi nodsher head. She cannderstand that.

Her eyes scan the book titles that are legible from where she is. She finds a few of her favourite classics as well as some children's books. Some modern classics and surprisingly, the coloured spines of the Harry Potter series.

"She never got married or had any children, so when she passed away five years ago she put the estate into the care of a trust, asking that they open the house and grounds up to the public."

Naomi's head continues to swivel around in wide-eyed wonder.

"Except for the library," Emily adds, her tone noticeably lower. "She didn't want the public messing with her books."

Naomi's head snaps over to the redhead, her brain finally focused enough to ask at least a few of the handful of questions flying around her head.

"Then how are we...how do you even have a key for this room? How do you have any of those keys to get in here? How do you know all of that stuff about the family?"

Emily shrugs. "I knew this girl that I–"

She cuts the sentence off and closes her mouth, but Naomi knows how it would have ended, it was a girl that Emily had obviously slept with. Could still be sleeping with for all Naomi knows. She feels her chest tighten and a weight in her stomach, then an irrational surge of anger. She hates that she's been reminded of Emily's other girls, was doing such a good job of staying in the moment and keeping those thoughts on the periphery. The thoughts of Emily with all those girls she's already seen her with, plus the one's she hasn't seen her with, which Naomi is sure are many. But she shakes her head. Pushes the anxiety away again. At least for now.

The redhead lowers her eyes and looks slightly embarrassed, but continues explaining after a beat.

"Anyway she used to work here during the summer because her dad was the caretaker for a while. I used to like coming here and spending time in the library so one day we managed to nick her dad's keys and make a copy without him noticing they were even gone."

Naomi hasn't taken her eyes off Emily, and she watches as the redhead finally lifts her head, their eyes locking.

"I still like to come here and just enjoy the books every once and a while. I thought you would like it."

The last part of the sentence sounds so unsure that it pulls at Naomi's heart. She takes in the way Emily is biting her bottom lip and how her eyes are darting around nervously. Offers a wide appreciative smile.

"I think it's the best place you could have shown me," Naomi says softly but with all the sincerity she can carry in her voice and expression.

Emily's frown softens, a small smile animating her face again, and Naomi can't help but grin. She means it. Can't think of any place that Emily could have taken her that would have been more perfect than this room.

"Well then," Emily says as she claps her hands together. "There are over a two hundred thousand books in here. Let's see how long it takes to find your favourite."

.

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* * *

**Yes, I think libraries, aquariums and museums on a first date are perfectly acceptable...I am not embarrassed by that fact.**

**So like I said, I'll try and get the next part up within a day or two...also, just quietly, I love that a lot of us Aussie's seem to share an awesome taste in home-grown music...we have some good indie shit in Australia.**

**Anyway, I always appreciate hearing your thoughts...it's hard for me to see it from your perspective obviously because I'm the one writing it, so any feedback would be marvellous!**

**Cheers **

**:)**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: You are all lovely and wonderful and hilarious...and I honestly didn't even think about the Beauty and the Beast reference...it must have snuck in there subconsciously...but hey, I'll take the credit for it! I also added some **_**really**__**minor**_** stuff to that last chapter a couple of days ago – just some of Naomi's reactions to Emily...nothing plot altering, just some stuff that I'd accidentally left out...and shout-out to **_**lazyboo**_** who is always super lovely and checked up on my today when I needed it – you are a champion...if any of you aren't reading her story **_**No Barrier**_** you should be! **

**Anyway, on to part 3 of the date...it's not my best but it's all I got at the moment...I don't know how I even managed to finish it with how sick I'm feeling...hopefully it's okay...oh, and it's not proof read so I hope it makes sense...I wrote the second half of this hopped up on night time cold and flu tablets...weeeeeeee...**

* * *

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.

An hour later Naomi feels like one of those kids in Willy Wonka's factory. Except she thinks this is way better, her sparkling blue eyes wide with wonder and a delighted smile on her face. She's still on the hunt for her favourite book but she's found other's she loves, as well as any number of strange and marvellous books she's never heard of, and some that have been out of print for decades. She's been up and down each ladder too many times to count, pushing herself off from the shelves and sliding around gleefully as if she's in a musical or something, Emily joining in as they laugh together like kids. She keeps gasping and calling out the titles of rare books and old editions while Emily just smiles and laughs, indulges her. Naomi guesses that Emily probably knows all of the books in here, but the redhead is patiently letting her discover them all for herself.

Naomi's never been so enchanted by anything in her life, and when she pauses to think about how Emily has showed this place to her, something like hope swells in her chest. She's touched that Emily has taken her here, to a place that means something to the redhead, to a place that she knew she would like. This is only the second date she's ever been on, but Naomi's pretty sure nothing will be able to top it.

She's about halfway up a ladder, thumbing through another couple of shelves slowly, still none the wiser to the late Ms Prendergast's unique shelving system. As far as she can tell everything seems to be everywhere, which is a little maddening for the blonde. She likes order, and in her head she can't help but rattle off ways that she would organise the books if this glorious room was hers. Still, she's overwhelmed with the privilege of even being in here...even if it is trespassing.

Her gaze drops down to the redhead casually lounging across an armchair with her head in a book, her legs hanging over one side of the chair and her head resting on the other, looking unusually small and fragile from Naomi's vantage point. She's not used to seeing Emily look so small, the redhead always seeming to be so much bigger than she physically is. Like there's too much of her for her petite frame to contain.

Naomi takes a deep breath. Feels a rush of excitement and affection for her. Grips the sides of the ladder tightly, surprised by the _want_ coursing through her veins. Has to stop herself from scrambling down and jumping the girl. Needs to focus on something else instead.

"What's that you're reading?" she calls down, smiling softly as amused brown eyes lift up to meet hers.

Emily scrunches her face and rotates the book so that Naomi can see the cover. "This may be the weirdest fucking book ever printed. This dude has made up a race of aliens, and then created a sex manual for them...with _illustrations_."

Naomi scoffs, narrows her eyes. "Why would someone even write that? And more importantly, why would Ms Prendergast own it?"

Emily raises her eyebrows playfully and shrugs, flips over the page and then smirks, her eyes circling wide. Holds the book open and turns it around for Naomi to see.

The blonde can't see the detail of it from that distance, but she can make out enough of it to know it's disgusting. Closes her eyes and scrunches her face. "That's just wrong."

Emily chuckles at her reaction.

"It also has tips on human-alien _relations_," Emily adds with laughter in her voice. "This guy is a fucking freak. And clearly so was old Ms. Predergast."

Naomi shakes her head. Smiles fondly as she watches the redhead shut the book and gently drop it on top of the pile of books she's built on the floor. She studies the way Emily's body moves, from the constantly changing shades of her blazing red hair to the toned outstretched arm and her slim, short legs. Is surprised by the ache low in her stomach. It's all knew to her, wanting someone like this, and she has no idea what to do.

Emily picks up another book and starts flicking through it, completely unaware that she has an audience. Naomi sighs. She appreciates that Emily has been so patient with her, letting her explore the library, and she's enjoyed it...but she actually wants to _talk_ to Emily. Wants them to spend some time together and actually get to know each other a little bit.

She's lost in thought when she hears a pointed _ahem_, refocuses her eyes to find herself staring right at Emily, who is looking right back at her with a playful smirk.

Naomi looks away quickly, knowing that she's been caught out, cringing with embarrassment as her cheeks flush pink. She can't help feeling like an idiot, like the least cool person in the world, and doesn't want Emily to think that about her. She's seen the types of girls the redhead has been with, sexy and confident and aloof and slutty, and she knows she's not any of those things. Feels like maybe Emily still hasn't cottoned on to that fact and doesn't want to remind her of it.

Her eyes dart around quickly before finally daring to glance back at the redhead who's now sitting up properly in the chair with a soft smile, almost as if she knows the blonde is embarrassed and doesn't want her to be. Naomi can't help the reciprocating smile that sneaks onto her face, reassured enough by it that Emily doesn't think she's a complete loser.

They smile at each other for a long moment, which surprises Naomi by not feeling awkward, before the redhead stands slowly. Adjusts her clothing and runs a hand through her hair.

Naomi is practically hypnotised by the way the cherry red strands fall back down around Emily's face. Realises she's being spoken to and shakes her head to clear it.

"Huh?" she chokes out inarticulately.

Emily smirks and the blonde knows she's been caught out again, but the redhead doesn't linger on it.

"I asked if you're hungry, because I'm fucking starving."

Naomi blinks. The question is slightly unexpected, but now that she thinks about it she is actually quite hungry. She hadn't noticed before because she'd been too wrapped up in this fantasyland of a library and the girl who had showed it to her, but with a clearer head she can feel an ache in her stomach, one that's got nothing to do with how good Emily looks.

"Yeah, I am actually."

Emily nods. "Alright, time for dinner then. Come on down."

The redhead moves forward towards the ladder and motions with her hands for Naomi to come down, but before she can take more than a few steps the blonde's hand flies up with her palm held out in a halting gesture.

"No, wait," she calls out somewhat desperately to a startled Emily as something occurs to her. Watches as the redhead stops in her tracks. "If you come any closer you'll be able to see up my skirt."

A sly grin tugs up one side of Emily's mouth and her eyes seem to sparkle with amusement while Naomi feels her cheeks blush again, lowers her head and smiles bashfully. She can't believe she's just said that. That she assumed that that's what Emily has on her mind.

But the redhead seems to find it amusing. Holds her hands up in a pacifying motion and takes a couple of steps back. "Is this okay or do you want me to turn around and close my eyes as well?

Naomi rolls her eyes and can't help her smile. "Shut up."

She climbs down the ladder carefully, feeling self-conscious and glancing over her shoulder at Emily every few seconds, feeling a little shaky after everything that's just happened. A few steps from the bottom she feels a firm hand on her back, the touch sending a shiver down her spine and almost making her lose her balance. She's surprised that Emily is so close. The redhead's hands shift to each of her hips, guiding her down the last step and onto the carpet carefully.

It's not until Naomi turns around to face Emily that she realises how close they are, the redhead trapping her against the ladder, the two standing mere centimetres apart. Her heart starts to race and she can feel the heat emanating from Emily's body, her eyes darting around nervously until she finally flicks them up, darkened brown eyes holding her gaze.

They stand like that for a long moment, Naomi racking her brain for something so to fill the silence but all she can think about is how soft Emily's lips look and how cute her button nose is and how dark her eyes are all of a sudden.

Emily leans forward slowly and Naomi feels her breath hitch, holds it in as the redhead moves closer, her lips hovering next to the blonde's ear. So close that her warm breath is sending shivers down Naomi's spine. Electrifying her body right to the tips of her fingers and toes. She can't get over how Emily can make her feel this way without even touching her.

"You know," Emily purrs into her ear, so seductively that the blonde feels like her knees are going to give way. "I should probably tell you that I've been able to see up your skirt all night."

Before Naomi can really register what's been said Emily is gone, the warmth around her evaporating as the redhead leans back and swiftly moves away from her and towards the door.

Naomi blinks and finally releases her breath. A blush colouring her cheeks as she eventually comprehends Emily's words. She doesn't know how to feel about the redhead looking up her skirt. Leans more toward embarrassed, but also feels flattered by it. At least she's wearing nice underwear.

She glances up to find Emily waiting for her at the double doors.

"Come on then."

Taking a deep breath, Naomi makes her way over to the redhead, her legs still slightly shaky. Emily waits for her to draw level and then casually slips her hand around the blonde's as if it's something she does every day. Naomi feels a tug on her arm as the redhead sets off down the hall, her legs shuffling quickly to catch up before falling into step Emily's. She looks down at their entwined hands and smiles. Likes that Emily didn't hesitate in claiming her hand.

She follows through the dimly lit hallways, the lingering glow from the library the only source of light, until Emily comes to a stop outside of a wooden door. Naomi can barely make out what the plaque on the door reads but she's pretty sure it's STAFF ROOM. She narrows her eyes. She'd assumed that they were going to the kitchen or something. Isn't sure what they'd be doing in here.

Emily lets go of her hand and Naomi misses it immediately. Watches as the redhead reaches into her pocket and produces the set of keys, Emily glancing sideways at her and smiling slyly before unlocking the door. She pushes it open and takes a step in, reaching around and flicking on the light, the sudden brightness causing Naomi to flinch instinctively.

She blinks furiously for a few seconds until her eyes adjust to the light. Opens her eyes to find Emily standing in front of a couple of vending machines. Realises that she mustn't look impressed because the redhead is suddenly looking unsure, her eyes downcast and her lip tucked beneath her teeth.

"I know it's kind of shit, but it's the only food in here," Emily shrugs. "The kitchen is part of the museum so none of that shit in there actually works."

Naomi shakes her head emphatically and steps toward the redhead. Wants to reassure her because she really couldn't care less what they ate as long as they are together.

"I don't mind. You should see some of the crap my mum makes."

She offers Emily her brightest smile and feels rewarded when the redhead's face softens. It's not true, her mum is actually a great cook, but she's happy to lie about it if it gets Emily to smile at her again.

She turns back to the machines. "So what are our options?"

Emily takes a step forward, clears her throat dramatically and straightens her posture.

"Well, here we have the Coca-Cola machine," she announces as she waves her hand out to it like she's presenting something on the shopping channel.

Naomi giggles at Emily's showmanship, even though it's pretty redundant given the dozens of Coke signs emblazoned all over the machine, but she likes this side of Emily. Playful and not afraid to look silly.

"You've got your classic," Emily continues as she points to the rows of standard red Coke. "Then here you've got your Diet and your Zero. Good for ladies watching their figure."

She points to the two rows and then leans toward the blonde, her hand around her mouth and her voice low in a mocking conspiratorial whisper. "But you don't need to worry about watching your figure. I'm doing that for you."

She leans back and winks, and Naomi can't help the goofy grin on her face as she watches Emily ham it up.

"Then we've got the Vanilla Coke and the Diet Vanilla Coke, perfectly acceptable choices. And then we've got Sprite which is lame...and Fanta which is even lamer." She raises an eyebrow and glares at the blonde pointedly but still with a smirk. "You will be judged unfavourably." Glances back at the machine. "Oh, and bottled water, which is kind of lame too." Locks eyes again with the blonde. "So what'll it be?"

Naomi smirks, feeling a bit playful herself. "What would you say if I told you that I was a Pepsi girl?"

Emily's jaw drops in feigned horror, her eyes circling wide. "Then I'd say get the hell out of my goddamn house."

"This isn't your house," Naomi replies, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. "We're breaking and entering remember?"

Emily steps toward her, waving her finger back and forth. "Oh no, there was no breaking. We broke nothing. I have keys and an alarm code."

Naomi takes a step forward too so that they're toe to toe, refusing to back down. "Fine. Trespassing then."

They stare each other down and it's then that the blonde realises how close they're standing again, and even though she's taller and looking down at Emily she still doesn't feel like she has the upper hand, her stomach swirling and a warmth running across her skin as she looks into brown eyes. They hold each other's gaze for a moment, and Naomi watches intently as the redhead licks her lips and then curls them into a smirk. The blonde isn't sure how it happens, but something shifts between them without either of them actually moving, the tension snapping from playful and teasing to something altogether more intense. Her fingers twitch with the need to touch the girl in front of her, but before she can reach out Emily is stepping away and moving back to where she'd previously been standing.

"So, what'll it be?" the redhead asks, her tone noticeably huskier.

It takes a second for Naomi's mind to clear enough for her to form actual words. "Normal Coke," she barely croaks out.

Emily nods and turns around to the machine, and Naomi watches slightly puzzled as the redhead hits the machine a few times in the same spot while pressing one of the buttons. She's sceptical, doesn't think that sort of thing ever works outside of Hollywood movies, but she's pleasantly surprised when the machine clunks and a can slides down. Emily retrieves it then turns back to the blonde and grins smugly, opening it before handing it to her.

Naomi reaches for it, can't help but be impressed by Emily's thieving, however illegal and immoral. "Thanks."

Emily nods and turns back to work the same magic on the machine until another can drops down, holds it in her hand and then slides over to the next vending machine.

"Okay, now junk food."

-x-

"So you still haven't told me your favourite book."

Naomi raises a challenging eyebrow at the redhead and then shoves another piece of chocolate in her mouth.

For the last hour and a half they've been sitting across from each other on the plush carpet of the library, their backs resting against the base of armchairs and their legs resting side by side between them. They've been eating potato chips and chocolate and little cookies and sipping on their drinks after Emily practically emptied the vending machine without paying a cent. They've discussed literature and television and music and politics, and Naomi is almost ashamed to admit that's she been a little surprised by just how intelligent Emily is, but she's also starting to realise that the one thing they haven't talked about is themselves. Actually, she's talked about herself, but Emily has kept everything at arm's length. Deflecting questions and deftly changing the subject so that Naomi doesn't even realise her question hasn't been answered until they're talking about something completely different. The blonde doesn't really know anything about the redhead that she didn't know yesterday. Doesn't know about her family and what's going on with Katie or more about what happened with Freddie. But she does feel more comfortable around Emily, more at ease. Less and less worried that she's going to say or do something stupid and make an idiot out of herself, although she's sure she's done that enough already.

"Come on," she pleads. "I told you mine."

Emily studies her for a moment, before another smirk curls her lips. "I'll give you a clue. It's somewhere in this library."

Naomi scoffs and rolls her eyes. "It's the alien sex book isn't it?"

The redhead almost chokes on her drink, clearly not expecting the witty response. Wipes her mouth and stares at Naomi with an impressed expression.

"You're funny," Emily says sincerely, as if the thought had just occurred to her and she let it tumble out of her mouth.

Naomi smiles bashfully and can feel heat flush her cheeks, her stomach flipping delightfully. Keeps her eyes down for a second until she can hear shuffling, then looks up to find Emily shifting across to sit next to her, their shoulders touching.

Naomi feels her pulse quicken, stares straight ahead and tries to keep her breathing even. Struggles when Emily shifts her thigh over to hers the tiniest bit so that they're resting flush against each other. Feels like her skin is burning where they're connected, even though her bare skin is only touching the redhead's jeans.

"So, where did this epic love of yours for reading come from?"

Naomi blinks. Feels her heart thud. Her mind snapping into focus and sobering with the answer immediately. She's instantly overwhelmed with emotions that she usually keeps safely locked away. Doesn't know how it's happened but the redhead seems to have released it all so easily, with just one innocuous question. Got her thinking about things that she never thinks about. The memories that now burn.

She tries to lock it all back up but it's too late and she can feel the tears stinging her eyes. Releases a shuddering breath and struggled to keep it all in. Feels Emily move beside her and suddenly a warm body is pressed to her side and a small the redhead's face etched with concern.

"Hey," Emily whispers softly, her eyes searching. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

Naomi tries to blink back the tears and even out her breathing. Concentrates on not throwing up.

"I know. You didn't. It's my dad. The reason I love reading. He used to read to me when I was little and now he's dead."

She doesn't mean to say it like that. So blunt and automatic and so final. Doesn't mean to say it at all. But there's something about the way Emily is looking at her, comforting her, that makes Naomi want to tell her everything. Tell her all about her dad and her mum and why she can't stand to look at herself in the mirror.

But she doesn't.

Closes her eyes because she knows she's said too much already and doesn't want to see Emily's reaction. The inevitable pity. It just makes it so much worse.

She's thankful when Emily drops her hand from her cheek a moment later. Relieved when the redhead shifts away from her and sits back so that they're sitting side by side again. But in the same breath she misses Emily being so close. Misses the warmth of her. How strong she feels. Smiles a few seconds later when she watches that same small hand lift up and grasp hers, interlocking their fingers.

They sit like that for a while, Naomi losing track of just how long, as she tries to calm her heart and get her breathing back into its normal steady rhythm. Emily stays silently by her side, moving their joint hands across to rest in her lap and covering them with her free one.

Eventually Naomi looks up, and is met with kind brown eyes and a comforting smile. They stare at each other for a moment, before Emily breaks the silence.

"I should probably get you home."

Naomi nods, relieved that there doesn't seem to be any hint of disappointment in Emily's tone. Just concern. Wipes her eyes, careful to avoid ruining her makeup, and sniffs. Forces a smile.

"God, crying – I'm pretty sure that's the number one thing people tell you not to do on a date."

Emily laughs and reaches out to gently tuck some loose hair behind the blonde's ear. "I'm pretty sure it's right up there with breaking and entering _and_ stealing."

Naomi smiles genuinely, relieved that the tension has finally dissipated in her body.

"I think you mean trespassing."

.

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**Sidenote: As far as I know that alien karma sutra book doesn't exist...I just tried to think of something weird...although I wouldn't be surprised if it did exist...there's a lot of weird shit out there. Also, I have no idea how to get shit out of a vending machine short of sticking your hand up the shoot thing...so...that's made up too...clearly I'm going for realism with this thing :P**

**So...there you go...I'm being sneaky, but the actual conclusion of their date will be revealed next chapter...in a flashback...anyway, it would be lovely to hear your thoughts as always...or you can just berate me for taking so long to update...**

**:)**

**[ EDIT: okay, seriously guys, DO NOT google alien karma sutra unless you can handle weird shit...Pinkbanana2 alerted me to this fact - some things cannot be unseen...ew...i'm going to have nightmares now... ]**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: *peeks out from behind laptop*...er...hi...I'm sorry this took so long...my lady friend Hi Mum Hi Dad Hi Bitches takes up all of my time...and the use of my right hand...so blame her :P**

**Anyhoo, I hope everyone still wants to read this...it's kinda short and kinda crap but I needed to get back into the story...so I hope you aren't too disappointed and annoyed that it's taken so long...don't hate me! *ducks back behind laptop***

**Oh, and this hasn't been proof-read because I am tired...more apologies :/**

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Naomi chances a glance across to the other side of the cafeteria for the fourth time in as many minutes, pretends to be stretching instead of just innocently looking around like she did last time, greeted with the exact same sight as she has been every other time. Emily ignoring her. Refusing to even meet her eye.

The blonde turns back around and sighs, purses her lips. Plays with the straw in her drink while her lunch sits barely touched, her appetite replaced with anxiety. Her mind continuing to mull over the increasingly frustrating situation with Emily.

They haven't spoken all day. Haven't spoken at all since last night. Not a single word since Emily gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek goodnight and Naomi watched her drive away on her scooter. And it's not just that they haven't spoken, they literally haven't communicated at all. The redhead hasn't sent her a text or replied to the two nervous ones Naomi sent during the day or the one last night, the blonde staying up until the early hours of the morning, feeling pathetic as she waited by her phone for a response. Emily hasn't even looked at her. Not once in the college grounds or the halls, not in homeroom this morning and not now, when they sit less than thirty metres away from each other.

"What do you think Naomi?"

The sound of her name startles her to the point where she almost knocks over her drink. "Shit," she mutters under her breath. Lifts her gaze and finds three pairs of eyes studying her with a mixture of amusement and curiosity. She smiles and shakes her head, dismissing her clumsiness. "Sorry, what was that?"

"The party Saturday night," Panda says excitedly before a goofy grin spreads across her face. "JJ's going to be there."

Katie makes a face at the mention of JJ's name and then looks at Naomi expectantly, the blonde realising that they are waiting for her answer. She also realises that she's obviously missed more of their conversation than she thought. Stares back with a blank expression.

"Bloody hell," Katie says with a hint of a laugh and a faint smile. "The party that Cook is throwing at his place? What are you daydreaming about that's more important than our partying plans?" Her eyes widen slightly, a devilish glint in them. "Or should I say _who_?"

Naomi feels her heart stop for a second at Katie's words, then speed up furiously, her mind reeling and her body involuntarily tensing. She knows that Katie doesn't know who she's been thinking about or what has been happening with Emily. Knows that she would have mentioned it immediately if she did, but the paranoid thought of her friends knowing the truth is enough to have her heart beating out of her chest. Feels constantly on edge about it.

Katie's smile drops as she takes in the strained look that Naomi couldn't keep off her face. "Oh god, it better not be Freddie again." She scrunches her nose and shakes her head, looking like she's just tasted something sour.

The sight makes Naomi smile. Feels her heart start to slow and her body relax. Of course they don't know. They're her friends. They trust her.

It's all she's ever wanted, but she can't help the guilt twisting in her gut. Hates that something major is going on in her life and she's lying to her friends about it. Lying to everyone.

"So, you coming to the party at Cook and Emily's?"

Naomi's gaze shifts over to Effy's and finds the brunette smirking at her, that knowing look in her eyes that she always seems to have. The one that makes Naomi feel like she's transparent, that Effy can see the thoughts in her mind and the emotions in her heart. She feels a blush creeping up her neck at being reminded of her suspicion that Effy knows more than she's let on, and more than Naomi is comfortable with her knowing. Hopes that whatever the brunette thinks she knows she keeps it to herself, or better yet, that it's all born out of her own paranoia an Effy is none the wiser.

But she forces a wide smile on to her face, ignoring Effy's penetrating stare. "Um yeah, sure. Party sounds fun."

Panda starts rambling about what she's going to wear to the party and Naomi is thankful that the attention is off her. Takes a sip of her drink and tries to calm her nerves. Thinks it's silly to feel like she's being interrogated when it's just her friends asking if she wants to go to the party. Cooks party. Her brow furrows. _Cooks party_. And he lives with Emily, which makes it her party as well.

Her eyes narrow and flick over to where Emily is sitting, not even bothering with pretence as she glares at the redhead, who continues to ignore her. Continues to sit there with Cook and JJ, her feet up on a chair and her phone in her hands, her attention focused on the small device and her fingers tapping away. A pang of jealousy hits her as she realises that Emily is probably texting some girl, replying to the texts of some other girl and not hers. Anger and hurt swirls in her stomach. She wonders why Emily hadn't told her about the party, just another question piling on top of the ones she already has about why she's being ignored.

Her fingers continue to fiddle with her straw as she tries to come up with answers. Thinks she knows what Emily might be upset about but doesn't know why the redhead is dealing with it like this. She stares down at her drink and once again runs over what happened at the end of their date last night.

_They packed away the books and rubbish from their food, Naomi taking extra care sliding the books back onto their shelves, leaving everything looking as if it hadn't been disturbed at all. They moved around in silence, the blonde doing her best to try and swallow down all the emotion that had bubbled up and swept through her unexpectedly when she'd told Emily about her dad. Blurted it out more like. She took deep breaths and tried to push all those thoughts back down again where they belonged. _

_Emily took her hand once again as she lead them back through the house silently, turned off lights and locked doors, armed the alarm and offered Naomi a comforting smile. _

_Once her emotions had subsided the blonde just felt like a complete prat. Embarrassed that she'd gotten so worked up. Ruined their date. The last thing she wanted was for Emily to think she was some kind of sad case, bursting into tears over a harmless question. Especially on a date. Their first date. _

_The redhead was being very sweet about it, which Naomi was thankful for, but she wasn't used to people knowing about her past. She'd never told anyone about it. Never had anyone to tell. Didn't know why she told the redhead in the first place, or how she felt about it now that she did. Another layer of anxiety added to what she already felt around Emily._

_They walked back through the garden in silence, the lights from the street barely filtering through and leaving them mostly in shadow, Naomi thankful that Emily confidently led the way as her feet shuffled along behind her. She liked the feeling of her hand in Emily's, still couldn't quite believe how someone so petite could make her feel so safe. Tried to think of something to say, worried by the silence, worried that Emily was being reminded of all the reasons she doesn't normally date girls like her._

_The redhead came to a stop once they were on the street, turned to face her and swung their arms between them a little and smiled softly._

"_Feeling better?"_

_The look of genuine concern on the redhead's face and in her husky voice brought a smile to Naomi's lips. Emily asking that question alone made her feel better._

_She nodded her head, her free hand playing nervously with the hem of her blazer. "Yeah, thanks. Sorry about before. I don't usually cry on dates." She frowns at her choice of words, stumbles over others as she tries to get the right ones out. "I mean, not that I've ever been on that many of them really, two actually, including this –"_

_Naomi's words were cut off by Emily's warm lips on hers, pressing a chaste kiss against them as she took a step closer. The blonde's eyes circled wide with surprise before she realised what's happening, her eyes then closing and her hand ceasing to fidget as she relaxed into the kiss. And then just like that it was over, Emily pulled back with a cheeky smile on her face._

"_I'm glad you're feeling better."_

Well I am after that_, Naomi smiled to herself, gazed after the redhead with a dreamy smile on her face as Emily retrieved her scooter from along the fence._

_Naomi winced as she sidled up to the scooter, the death trap on wheels._

"_Come on," Emily chuckled slightly, obviously catching Naomi's look of disapproval. "It's not that bad. You just need to hold on to me really tight." _

_The redhead punctuated the sentence with a wink, and if it were anyone else Naomi would have laughed in their face and thought it was cheesy, but not with Emily. When Emily did it she felt a flutter in her stomach and a bashful smile play on her lips._

"_And before you know it," the redhead continued, "I'll be dropping your off at your front door."_

_Naomi's face instantly dropped, so much so that she could see Emily's smile falter quickly in return._

"_Oh," Naomi croaked out, her chest starting to tighten. "I just think it would be best if you dropped me off where you picked me up. My mum and everything."_

_She shrugged hoping that was enough of an explanation and the redhead wouldn't mind. Got her answer immediately when she watched Emily's face transform, change from a gentle look of concern to something hard. Angry. Maybe even hurt._

_Naomi can feel the tension tighten between them. Opened her mouth to try and explain herself. To let the redhead know that she didn't mean it like that, that it's not about her personally, just that she's a girl. _

_But Emily beat her to it, not even looking at her as she shoved the helmet at her. "No problem." Her words were short and sharp, the redhead turning around as soon as the blonde had taken the helmet. _

_Naomi watched Emily settle onto the bike, desperately wanting to say something to make it better, but quickly realising that she couldn't. The truth was she didn't want anyone in her life knowing about this, whatever this was with Emily, and she understood why the redhead would be hurt or angered by that fact but that was the way she needed it to be for now. All of this was a lot, too much, and she needed time for all of the craziness in her brain and her emotions to settle._

_It was no use though, because even if she did have the words to make the situation better, it was fairly clear that Emily didn't want to hear them. That she was done with the conversation._

_So Naomi sighed, slid the helmet onto her head and fixed the clasp, then attempted another extremely ungraceful mounting of the scooter. She wrapped her long arms around Emily somewhat reluctantly, felt the tension in the redhead's body. Felt the guilt twisting in her own stomach at having been the one to ruin what had been an almost perfect night._

_Naomi had her eyes clenched shut most of the drive home, Emily zipping through the darkened streets of Bristol much faster than she had earlier on, and the blonde had the distinct feeling that she was being punished. Out of sheer fear and anger she gripped tighter to Emily, so tight she assumed the redhead would have been in a little bit of pain. Naomi didn't care. She knew she'd fucked up a bit, but Emily was just being childish and borderline dangerous._

_She opened her eyes when she felt the scooter slowing, glanced around and realised they were back at the spot where Emily had met her earlier, although now under vastly different circumstances. Removed her arms from around the redhead as soon as Emily turned off the ignition and balanced the scooted, the dismounted with just as little grace as she had when she'd gotten on, desperate to put some distance between her and her date._

_Emily slid off the scooter and took off her helmet, resting it on the handlebars as Naomi followed suit, removing hers and handing it to her. The blonde tried to catch Emily's gaze, hoped that she could somehow convey everything with a simple smile, but the redhead didn't give her a chance. Kept her eyes focused on everything except her._

_So she was a little stunned when Emily stepped forward a second later, pressed a swift kiss to her cheek and then moved away just as quickly._

"_Night Naoms," she said softly, and Naomi felt it like a punch in the stomach, the hurt in the redhead's tone. The disappointment._

_Once again she opened her mouth to say something, to say thank you for the night or to try and make it better, but Emily didn't seem interested. The engine of the scooter came to life once again, and before Naomi could so much as say 'goodbye' the redhead was off and driving back down the street. Naomi watched until Emily disappeared around a corner, then felt her whole body deflate. _

_She'd fucked it up. Had thought that she'd actually been doing a good job of being on a date and not making a complete tit out of herself, had loved everything that Emily had planned and enjoyed herself, but then she'd gone and fucked it all up. Felt the need to apologise to the redhead, so still standing on the spot where Emily had deposited her Naomi pulled out her phone and sent a hasty text, thanking Emily for the night and apologising for the way it ended. She didn't even agonise over the words, just typed it out and pressed send before she could think better of it and change her mind. Stood there for a few minutes before she realised that Emily was driving, and likely wouldn't see the message right now. So she made her way home, running over everything and counting the seconds until the redhead texted back._

Naomi clenches her fist slightly when she thinks about how Emily never did text back last night. Not to the first message or the two she sent today. The blonde had considered calling her last night and trying to sort things out that way, but she isn't sure how any of this stuff works, what the proper dating protocol is for this situation. She wishes that she could talk to someone about it. That she could explain to someone what had happened and get some advice. But she can't.

She's starting to get angry now, wondering where the redhead gets off treating her this way. Like she's disposable. Thinks that maybe this is all a game to Emily. It worries her a little how easily Emily can go from hot to cold, from being sweet to her to pretending that she doesn't exist. Wonders if the redhead is always like this. decides she doesn't like it.

Her eyes fix on Emily again and Naomi realises that there's some girl sitting across from the redhead, trying to engage her in conversation. Emily looks as disinterested as she usually does and the blonde feels a faint hope swelling in her chest, hope that is distinguished when the redhead looks up at locks eyes with her for the first time in what feels like forever. But the elation fades quickly when she takes in the expression on Emily's face. The almost spiteful and sinister expression that sends a chill down the blonde's spine.

But the eye contact is short-lived, the redhead flicking her eyes back to the girl in front of her and suddenly looking like she's never been more interested and amused in her life.

Naomi grips her drink so hard that she almost spills its contents. Struggles to slow her thumping heart. Feels a surge of anger as she considers the way Emily is behaving. Thinks she doesn't deserve it.

For the rest of lunch she watches as Emily blatantly flirts with this girl, right in front of her, almost like she's putting on a show. Decides that she's not going to just let this happen, just let the redhead treat her like this. Thinks about the Emily that picked her up last night, rather than the one that dropped her home. The Emily that told her that her hair looked perfect, that took her to that amazing library, that made her laugh and gave her butterflies and was sweet to her when she needed comforting. She wants _that _Emily back.

Suddenly she's very thankful that the party tomorrow night is at Emily's house, and it will be perfect for her to corner the redhead at some point and make her listen.

Now she just has to figure out what she was going to say.

.

.

* * *

**So...hopefully that wasn't too shit...I'm hoping it will get me back in the swing of things...but seriously, thanks for all your well wishes and messages of concern over my prolonged absence...everything is relatively fine, I was just busy and also suffering killer writer's block...let's all pray it has gone for good!**

**Special shout out to the anonymous reviewer **_**B**_**, your theory on Emily's favourite book is awesome and I wish I had thought of it...but you will find out what her favourite book is eventually...maybe right at the very end...mwahaha... **

**Also, to any Aussie readers: I just wanted to say that I **_**sincerely**_** hope you and your family and friends are all okay...these floods are devastating and just really heartbreaking...I keep watching the news in disbelief...my boyfriend's family and friends are up there and thankfully they will mostly be okay, but so many people aren't...so I hope you're all well, and if not, my thoughts are with you. And please, if you're able to donate to the relief fund please do so, they're going to need a lot of help up there. **

**So, I can definitely say my next update won't take as long as this one...and will hopefully be better...and with lots of delicious Naomily angst...but feel free to yell at me in a review to vent your frustrations!**

**:)**


	25. NOT A NEW CHAPTER

hi,

in about a week i will be deleting my account and these stories from this site, so if you want them you have some time to save them or whatever...and obviously i won't be finishing the third one. please don't send any messages or reviews asking me to continue, i'm just letting you all know in case you want to save anything.

thanks for all of your encouragement and support, you've all been great, and i'm sorry.


	26. download links

thank you for all your kind words and support, but really, i don't deserve anyone's sympathy.

i honestly didn't realise that my writing meant so much to so many people, so i'm sorry, and i hope one day i can finish the last story. if i do i'll post it on here.

some of you have requested that i email you the stories, but FF is deleting all of your email addresses because it blocks them out if you don't put a space in them, so i thought it would be easiest to upload them here - http : / www. mega upload . com /?d=5XP7J66Y (take out the spaces). now anyone who wants them can download them all. (i certainly didn't get that idea from illegally downloading tv shows...nope :P )

this account will be gone in a week, but the stories will stay linked up there.

thanks again

:)


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Um, hi there. So, as you know I had every intention of deleting this account...and I thought it would make some of the mountain of shit I'm dealing with right now easier...but your messages and some sage advice from my awesome big sis helped me realise that doing what you love can only make you happier...and somehow I'd forgotten, but writing this story makes me happy. For the first time in a **_**very**_** long time I felt the desperate need to write...for myself...and that felt amazing. I know I've said it before, but I truly didn't realise my writing meant so much to people...and those of you that expressed that to me helped remind me of how much it meant to me too...so thank you from the bottom of my heart...and here is another chapter for you all...**

* * *

Since it's been so long since the last update, here's a little refresher for SIHNT:

Naomi is new to school because she and her mum move around a lot. She has a difficult relationship with her mum for an as yet unknown reason. She's the introverted insecure type with a mysterious past who gets swept up into being friends with Katie, Effy and Panda, who are all best friends and kind of awesome. Freddie is the Mr Popular type doofus who hits on Naomi but is rebuffed...kinda. Mostly because Naomi has a big fat lesbian crush on Emily. Emily is a pain in the ass difficult type with a mysterious past (cliché much?) and lives with her best buddy Cook and they cause trouble together because I really liked them being buddies in Emily's unnecessarily heartbreaking S4 ep. JJ is around but useless, as usual. Emily and Katie hate each other for some reason that will be revealed in the third act. Naomi really likes libraries.

Last we left off, Emily and Naomi confronted their feelings for each other and went out on a slightly illegal date, but when Naomi didn't want her mum to see Emily dropping her home, Emily got pissed and is now back to acting like a three year old. There is a big party at Cook and Emily's place where Naomi has vowed to once again confront the hot little redhead...

* * *

.

.

"This is where Cook lives?"

Naomi stares open mouthed at the surprisingly impressive house in front of her, standing on the footpath and falling behind her friends as they make their way up the path to the front door, heels clacking on the stones. It's not the nicest or biggest house she's ever seen, but it may as well be, compared to the squalid little student housing she'd imagined Cook and Emily would be sharing. She'd pictured peeling paint and overgrown garden and smashed windows or something vaguely dramatic like that. Not a clean and large house in a rather posh neighbourhood.

She can hear the thumping music and the sounds of people talking and laughing and flirting and fighting spilling out into the otherwise quiet street and for the eighteenth time that minute she thinks about Emily. Thinks about what Emily will be wearing and if Emily will like what she's wearing and what she's going to say to Emily and what Emily will say to her and whether Emily will have a girl there with her and Emily Emily Emily.

Naomi snaps herself out of it when she realises that Effy is answering her question.

"...then his mum got remarried and started a new family and Cook was a bit of a handful –"

"That's a fucking understatement," Katie scoffs.

"...so they moved into a new house and he stayed here. Then Emily moved in last year."

The blonde catches Effy quirk her eyebrow ever so slightly at her when she says Emily's name, and Naomi can't help but feel her face flush a little, thankful for the dim streetlights shadowing most of her face. Her embarrassment doesn't help her state of mind, having worked herself up into an anxious flutter about the evening. The idea of having to be socially competent and not make a fool of herself, let alone the prospect of having to confront Emily, is all tightening the knot in Naomi's stomach.

She hears an explosion of noise and realises that Katie has opened the front door of the house.

Once again she feels like she's about to fall down the rabbit hole.

-x-

Two hours, three beers and several shots of something green and thoroughly disgusting later, Naomi's anxiety has been replaced with a dull calm, helped along by the fact that there's been no sign of Emily. She's given up the prospect of confronting the redhead, her nerves and frustration dissipating the more she drinks. Not for the first time in the last few weeks, Naomi finds herself surrounded by people she's never seen before in her life. A group of strangers spontaneously congregated around the kitchen table that she'd sat at when she needed to take a break from listening to Pandora talk about JJ for a solid twenty minutes. Naomi likes Pandora a lot, but she's finding that listening to her talk about anything for twenty minutes is a bit much.

A pack of cigarettes is thrust in her face in offering, and without thinking about all the statistics on smoking that she knows and despite the fact that she hates the taste and smell and everything of it, Naomi can't help but want to feel included and part of the group. So she slips one out carefully and places it between her lips, leaning toward the flame of the neon lighter that her new best friend whose name she's forgotten is holding out to her. She struggles not to cough when she first inhales, sipping on her beer to soothe the burning in her throat. At least she hopes it's her beer.

Her nameless new best friend readjusts herself on her seat and her thigh knocks into Naomi's, and it's not until then that the blonde realises that everyone around her is packed tightly around the table, and there are two girls pressed against each side of her. She takes what she hopes is a subtle glance at her new friend to her right, looks her up and down briefly before her eyes flick to her face. She's pretty, but in a plain way. Naomi does notice that the girl has pretty big boobs, which are threatening to escape from the low cut top she is wearing. Hoping to remain subtle, Naomi glances to the girl to her right. She is gorgeous, with dark black hair, bright blue eyes and fragile features. It occurs to Naomi that maybe she should be attracted to this girl, if that's how this whole gay thing works, which she thinks it is. But she doesn't feel anything. No accelerated heartbeat or tummy flipping or a desire to get to know this girl. And for the first time in a while the enigmatic redhead re-enters Naomi's thoughts, and all she can think is that Emily is the girl she wants to stare at and get to know, the girl who makes her heart race and tummy flip. The girl who also infuriates and confuses her.

She shakes thoughts of Emily out of her head and wonders where her real friends are, a small smile tugging at her lips when she thinks about her friends. She has real friends for once. Real friends who like her and want to hang out with her and find her interesting. Determines to find them and have some fun while she's got this delightful buzz and her inhibitions are lowered.

Naomi feels a rush of invincibility. Like nothing in the world could possibly go wrong or bring her down and she suddenly forgives every drunk teenage girl that she's ever mocked. Every tipsy girl she's ever seen acting like a fool and judged. She gets why they do it now. This feeling that nothing can touch you. It's amazing.

She manages to slide away from the crowded table not at all gracefully, waving her hand dismissively at her new friends who momentarily ask where she's going and call her back, then seem to forget about her instantly as the hole in the mass of people closes up and they carry on with their conversations.

The blonde quickly finds herself more than a little unsteady on her feet, bracing against the wall of the hallway momentarily while she takes a second to find her balance, swearing under her breath. She hadn't felt just how drunk she had become while sitting there until she had gotten to her feet. Now the house seems to be spinning on an axis while she stands still. Lights are blurring and people are speaking way too fast and the bass of the music feels like her heartbeat.

Someone brushes past her and if she weren't so drunk it would have caused a minor wobble, but in her current state her feet aren't moving quick enough to regain her balance and Naomi feels herself falling over before she realises exactly what's happening. She manages to close her eyes as the only way to brace for impact with the floor or wall, sure she won't be hurt given her newfound invincibility, but suddenly she feels herself being lifted back up and rebalanced on her feet.

"Fuck Naomi. I'm sorry about that, you okay?"

The blonde takes a second to comprehend the question, doesn't even bother to wonder how this person knows her name, but she steadies herself and brushes their hands away.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine," she slurs as she adjusts her clothing. "You really shouldn't...you know, knock people over...it's rather rude."

The person chuckles and Naomi's foggy brain realises that she recognises them. She lifts her head and meets their eyes. Kind dark eyes.

"Freddie? Why the fuck did you knock me over?"

He studies her for a moment, before breaking into an amused smile, his eyes crinkling. "You're absolutely tanked aren't you?"

Naomi leans back against the wall casually to help prop herself up, crossing her arms and trying to scowl. She's sure she's pulled it off but Freddie continues to smirk at her like maybe she hasn't.

"I don't know what you're talking about Frederick." She scrunches her nose. "Alfred? Wilfred? What is your name again?"

Freddie laughs again and Naomi can't help but think about how gorgeous his smile is. How kind and warm and friendly he is. She finds herself momentarily wondering why it was that it didn't work out between them, and by the time she does eventually remember, Freddie has taken a step closer and is looking at her intently.

"Wha...what are you doing?"

Naomi's wide eyes blink madly as Freddie leans in closer, but she's not sure what to say or do, paralysed by indecision and drunkenness.

Freddie leans in close and kisses her cheek softly, and the blonde can't help but close her eyes.

"You're a very cute drunk," he whispers in her ear.

Naomi feels something tingle down her spine. She knows Freddie wants her and in the back of her mind she knows it's not right or what she wants, but it feels good to be wanted. After pretending for so long that she didn't want anyone, then to admit that she wants someone who doesn't seem to want her back, having someone want her feels like soothing an ache. She likes the way that he looks at her and how gentle he is and that he smells really nice.

So she gives in to the moment. Closes her eyes.

She feels warm breath move back across her cheek and Naomi knows that his lips are headed for her own, is willing to let him kiss her, but she's broken out of his spell by another familiar voice calling her name.

She opens her eyes and pulls her head away as Freddie steps back and puts some space between them. Turns towards the voice calling out for Naomi.

"The fuck do you want Cook?"

Freddie's demeanour shifts completely as he addresses Cook, his smile and kindness gone. Naomi is reminded why, and takes a step to the side, away from both boys. She's regretting even contemplating getting involved with Freddie again, however briefly. Knows it was a mistake.

"Now that's no way to greet a person, let alone the host of this here party," Cook teases with his trademark smirk. "Did you forget your manners Freddie? I know you was taught em, because your sister remembered to thank me after I made her come."

Naomi's eyebrows shoot up in surprise and she takes another step back, expecting Freddie to charge at Cook, who looks like that was his goal, but instead the taller boy shakes his head. "Go fuck yourself Cook."

Freddie turns and walks back down the hall, Naomi's eyes fixed on him until he disappears into another room. Hears Cook shout after him, "I've got your sister to do that for me."

The blonde winces and turns back to him, finds him smirking, as always. "You are disgusting. What do you want Cook?"

He pretends to be hurt by her abrasiveness, clutching at his chest. "Come on Blondie. You should be thanking me."

Naomi knows she should just ignore Cook and walk away, knows the sober version of herself would, but she takes the bait anyway. "Thank you for what exactly?"

"For saving you from Funsponge. You know he was gonna kiss you right? His tongue down your throat..._again_. Nobody can live through that twice."

Cook grins widely, so obviously pleased with himself and looking like he wants to be patted on the head like a puppy. Naomi is actually thankful that he stopped her from going any further with Freddie, because she's honestly not sure whether she would have in her current state, but she's not about to tell Cook that.

"How do you know I didn't want him to kiss me?" She crosses her arms again defiantly. "I wasn't pushing him away was I?"

"Well no," Cook concedes, his smile morphing into a challenging smirk, "but I'm pretty sure you want to bone someone else."

He eyes Naomi knowingly and she instinctively looks away. Shrinks back into herself, confused and terrified that Cook might know something. That Emily might have said something. That other people might know. She doesn't know what to think.

Cook takes a step closer like he's going in for the kill, while Naomi continues to stare at the floor, can feel his gaze fixed on her.

"So the last few weeks my best mate has been like a fucking yo-yo, up one minute then down the fucking next and I'm not as clever as some so I can't keep up. But I thought fuck it, I'll throw her a party. Fit birds, party favours, get her a bit fucked up, have a bit of fun. But instead of fucking enjoying all this shit and being up to her ears in ladies, Emilio hasn't come out of her fucking room."

Naomi's head lifts at the mention of Emily. Can't help it. Finds Cook eyeing her suspiciously.

"So I ask myself, what has changed in these last few weeks? And it took me a while and a few shots but you know what I come up with?"

Naomi holds her breath and feels her body go rigid. Cook takes yet another step closer and lifts his finger to point at her. "You."

The first thing that floods the blonde's mind is relief. Relief that Emily isn't up in her room shagging the brains out of some slapper. That if Emily is upset and sulking in her room, then she must actually really like her, and maybe Naomi can fix this somehow.

But the drawn out and accusing silence prompts Naomi to try and defend herself, the blonde stammering and protesting, struggling not to let her voice waver and to organise coherent words through her drunken haze.

"Listen Cook, I don't...I don't know what you think you're talking about, but –"

"Don't worry Blondie, Red didn't say anything, she's not like that. You two just aint as subtle as you fucking think you are with the way you're always staring at each other all googly eyed. "

Naomi forces her eyes to the ground again. She winces and silently curses herself. Should have known this would happen. That someone would notice. Can't help thinking that if someone like Cook has noticed, then other people must have. She knows Effy has, but she just put it down to Effy being weird and using that unnerving super power of hers. If Cook has noticed then other people have too, and it's only a matter of time until Katie knows and hates her and then everyone will hate her.

She finally takes a deep breath, a small part of her also feeling a profound sense of relief. Thinks that maybe if people found out by themselves then she wouldn't have to tell anyone. That it would be taken out of her hands. On some level she likes that Cook knows, that there's one person that she doesn't have to lie to. She's so sick of lying. She's been doing it her whole life and it's exhausting.

Cook finally steps back and puts some space between them, any vague sense of menace or amusement dropped, and for the first time Naomi feels like she's meeting the actual Cook.

"Now that's me best mate up there. And I know she comes off all hard and tough, but she's been though some shit and she aint as tough as she looks. It's not my business what you little lezzas get up to, unless you want to show me videos, and I know you're a pretty girl and all that but if you fuck her up, I'm going to have to make it my business. You got me?"

His demeanour isn't as threatening as his words, and even though Naomi knows that Cook means it, she can also tell that he's saying it because he loves Emily.

The blonde nods, comforted by the silent understanding between them.

Cook breaks out into another beaming grin, back to looking like that very pleased with himself little puppy. Naomi's still not sure what to say, decides to say nothing, and watches as Cook starts backing down the hallway towards the lounge.

"Good chat Blondie. Now why don't you run upstairs and cheer Emilio up, and leave the pretty girls down here to me ay?"

He smirks at her before turning and heading back into the party. Naomi can hear him yelling something about shots already. Rolls her eyes. She knows that Katie hates Cook and no one else seems to really be too keen on him either, and she'd thought he was a pig, but now that's she's seen how much he cares for his friend she's willing to give him a chance. Although she still thinks he's a pig.

The blonde takes a deep breath, tries to calm herself as she thinks about what she's going to do next. The glorious buzz that she'd had just minutes ago is fading and being replaced by those nerves that she'd managed to dull for most of the night. She's still a little unsteady on her feet, pushing herself slowly away from the wall and balancing herself, taking a second just to find her feet.

She thinks briefly and vaguely about her options. She can go find Emily and talk to her, or she can go back to the party and have a few more drinks and probably do something stupid that she'd regret, or she can go home. Except she doesn't want to go home because she doesn't want to risk her mum seeing her this drunk. Plus, she can barely remember where her house is at the moment.

Her feet seem to make the decision for her, and before her brain can catch up she's already taking the first couple stairs. Her stomach flutters with excitement but also nerves. She's going to see Emily's room...with Emily in it, which is where the nerves come in. If she can find it that is. She reaches the top of the stairs and looks down the hall hoping for some shining clue to guide her to her destination. Nothing. Just a series of closed doors. Curses Cook for not telling her which room it is.

Naomi moves into the middle of the hallway, studying each door and waiting for some kind of divine inspiration. Feels like an idiot just standing there, but she doesn't want to make a fool of herself and walk in on a couple like she did at the last party. A couple of minutes tick by with the blonde still standing motionless and she's about to give it up, chuck it all in and avoid the embarrassment, but she hears the faintest sounds of a familiar song coming from one of the rooms. A song Emily mentioned liking on their date.

It makes the blonde's stomach knot once again, knowing that Emily is behind that door, but the alcohol in her blood system rallies and gives her another surge of bravery. She steps forward and knocks on the door without thinking twice. It's not until then that she thinks about the fact that Emily might not be alone in there. She wants to think that Cook wouldn't send her up there if that is the case, but she doesn't really know him. Maybe this is all a game to him. Maybe he is as much of an asshole as Katie says he is.

There's no immediate answer to her knocking, and Naomi can feel her hands twitching by her sides, desperate for distraction. Does something she never thought she'd do.

"Emily? Are you in there?"

She calls out loudly through the door, shocked at her own boldness. Silently thanks the litre of alcohol she's consumed throughout the evening. Thinks that she should probably care about what she looks like, or why Emily needs to take so long to answer the door as if her and the slutty girl she might be with need to put their clothes back on, but all she can focus on is seeing Emily. Emily Emily Emily. Pretty Emily with the flaming red hair.

Pretty Emily with the flaming red hair who won't open the door.

Naomi's face falls into a worried frown, but quickly morphs into a scowl. Suddenly she feels incredibly angry. Angry that she's been kissed by Freddie and mocked and threatened by Cook and now she's standing outside Emily's door and the redhead won't answer. Remembers why she wants to talk to Emily in the first place. Thinks it's not fair for Emily to treat her like this when she didn't do anything wrong, not really. Wants all the games to stop.

So she tries something a little more direct, clasping the door handle and twisting it open, half expecting it to be locked. To her surprise it's not, and she finds herself staring into Emily's room, her heart pounding. Blue eyes dart around the large room, bouncing around the walls and taking in the band posters and hand written quotes and fairy lights, until finally settling on the figure lying on the bed with headphones in ears. Seemingly oblivious to her entry, head turned away. Relief floods through the blonde when she realises that Emily is alone.

Naomi stares for a second at the girl, resting on her bed looking so peaceful and small, more like the Emily she's seem glimpses of when they are alone. Nothing like the Emily she normally sees. All hard edges and attitude.

The redhead still hasn't noticed the intrusion and Naomi is starting to feel like a creeper, so she steps tentatively into the room and clears her throat, hoping to alert Emily to her presence. The blonde rolls her eyes when it doesn't work, feels like she's in a sitcom or something, and takes another step into the room, feeling even more like she's trespassing.

"What are you doing? Trying to rob me or something?"

The husky voice hits Naomi in the stomach and she feels it flutter. Feels her heartbeat double in speed. It's only been a couple of days but she's missed that voice. She misses Emily. She's not used to missing people. Just one other person.

"That's not the most stealth cat burglar outfit, but it is pretty cute."

Naomi frowns in confusion, wondering how Emily can see her when the redhead hasn't moved from her position on the bed.

"How do you –"

"The mirror," Emily cuts her off, still not showing her face. "I saw you creeping in here looking all scared and couldn't help myself."

Naomi can hear the amusement in her voice and scowls, that familiar feeling of Emily always having the one-up on her hitting her again. She always feels a couple of steps behind, like she's forever playing catch-up with whatever is going on between them. Wants it to stop, wants them to be on the same page just once.

"You can be a real asshole."

She just blurts it out, her eyes wide, a little surprised at herself. It's one of the few times in her life she hasn't censored herself. Just felt like saying something and said it. It's something she's noticed herself doing around Emily; feeling like doing something and just doing it.

Emily slowly sits up, her gaze fixed on the blonde, an expression Naomi can't pick.

"You came up here to tell me I'm an asshole?"

Emily's tone gives away nothing, and Naomi isn't sure whether she's hurt the redhead or not, but she can't seem to make herself stop now that she's started.

"Well no, I didn't come up here for that exactly, but you're being an asshole so I wanted to let you know that sometimes you're an asshole. Like yesterday you were an asshole to me. Although I'm sure you already know that."

Her eyes are darting everywhere around the room to avoid Emily and her hands are balled up by her side, so Naomi doesn't comprehend that the redhead has stood up from the bed until she is taking steps towards her, until she is almost right in front of her.

Naomi shuts her mouth and blinks a couple times, unnerved by Emily's sudden proximity. She doesn't know what the redhead wants, and Emily's face is still completely passive. Unreadable. Not quite the peaceful girl that was lying on the bed, but not the abrasive Emily either, somewhere in between.

They stand in a charged silence for a prolonged moment, Naomi's heart thumping as Emily's eyes bore into hers. A million thoughts are shooting through Naomi's mind, but all of them are silenced when Emily reaches out and takes her hand, threading their fingers together.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Emily says softly, and Naomi can't help but think that it's the most sincere apology she's ever heard.

Heat radiates up her arm from where Emily's skin in touching hers and it feels like her whole body is tingling.

"I really like you," Emily adds, her eyes not wavering from the blondes.

And with that Naomi forgets about wanting an explanation for the way Emily treated her or what is going on between them or the need to say anything else really. Not with Emily holding her hand and looking at her like this. Not with the way her stomach is flipping. Not with Emily stepping in closer to her and raising her free hand to cup her cheek. Emily's warm breath on her lips. Not with soft lips meeting hers in a most perfect kiss.

Not when she has Emily.

.

.

* * *

**I hope that was okay...I'm a little rusty but I'll get there. I apologise for any inconsistencies...I didn't read the old stuff back I just kinda went with it. Oh, and this is not by any means the happy ending...much more angst to go...but some kissing is good :P**

**And because I can't help myself, I'd like to share some awesome Aussie music with you all – a good friend recently introduced me to Big Scary and we went to their show in Melbourne this past weekend and it was fucking magic. The lead singer is a cutie pie and the lady drummer is insanely awesome and adorable. My two fave songs at the moment are **_**Mix Tape**_** (www .youtube. com /watch?v=HS3lQSOVEL8) and an oldie, **_**Autumn**_** (www .youtube. com /watch?v=RcmARUa8eAc).**

**The other group is The Jezabels...and I myself am late on the bandwagon, but whatevs. Their latest album is **_**glorious**_**, particularly **_**Endless Summer**_** (www .youtube. com /watch?v=0rGiz1NfD50). They remind me of something from the 80s and it's awesome. Their tour is sold out :(**

**(don't forget to take out the spaces)**

**Thank you again to everyone who encouraged me to keep writing this...you reminded me how much I missed and needed it. I'm sorry for the scare and for being a drama queen...but I guess the good thing is that there's a new chapter? I can't tell you when the new chapter will be up, but hopefully not too long...I have a legitimately crazy neighbour who likes to yell until the AMs, so since I'm not sleeping hopefully I can write. New Florence album out this weeeeeeek...go buy it!**

**:)**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Ladies, you flatter me with your very generous and kind words...it was a tough week and some of your reviews and messages actually made me misty eyed...I wish I could hug you all. I was never much of a hugger until recently but now I'm all over that shit...helped by the fact that one of my friends is a hugging fiend, who has started smothering my cheeks in kisses when she's drunk...we need to get her a boyfriend...although it's understandable because I do have very kissable cheeks...just saying. Anyways, it seems for some of you that through this story we are helping each other with some shit, so that's kind of crazy and awesome. **

**Anyhoo, I hope you like this chapter...it's late and I've barely proof-read it so apologies for crappyness...**

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Naomi cracks her eyes open slowly, blinking several times as they adjust to the soft light. They feel dry and sore and her vision is taking longer than usual to focus. Her throat feels rough, her head is aching and she really needs to pee, but getting up and actually moving doesn't seem to be an option at the moment. She's a little cold so she reaches around her back to pull some more of the blanket over herself, but her hand stops dead when instead of grabbing a handful of blanket she feels the warm skin of whoever it is in bed with her.

And that's when it all comes flooding back, bombarding her brain like a sledgehammer. The party. Lots of alcohol. Freddie. Kissing Freddie. Cook. Cook knowing about Emily. Emily. Lots of alcohol. Emily and kissing. Lots of kissing. That's where it ended, kissing Emily. She has no idea how she ended up in this bed or whose bed it even is or who is in it with her.

Somewhat belatedly, Naomi lifts the blanket and checks that she's still fully clothed, releasing the breath she's been holding when she sees that she is.

"Morning."

The husky voice startles her, but at least she has an answer to who is in bed with her. The blonde's heart starts to race, suddenly acutely aware of every part of her body and its proximity to Emily. Naomi's not used to this. Sleeping in the same bed as someone she likes. Someone she was kissing half the night. She's not sure what to say or whether to turn around to face Emily, but her silence stretches on, awkwardness dictating her decision as she clears her throat.

"Ah, morning." She rubs at her eyes and winces in pain. No wonder her eyes are so sore. "Fuck, I fell asleep with my contacts in."

"More like passed out," Emily adds from behind her with a yawn.

Naomi groans and sits up, carefully removing her contacts with a hiss of pain, her back still to Emily. Her vision is blurred and her eyes feel rubbed raw and dry but her glasses are in her clutch and she has no idea where that is, so she has to put up with it for now.

"I passed out?"

She places the dried up contacts on the dresser next to the bed, notices the ten or so books piled on top of it, wishes she could read their spines and discover which books Emily likes to read, at least at the moment. Also notices a single glass of water. Her throat is aching for it but she's not sure if it's hers. Doesn't want to be presumptuous.

Naomi hears Emily sitting up behind her, swallows her nerves and turns around to finally face her, her heart thudding in her chest when she finally eyes the redhead. Notices that she has her hand reaching out, offering Naomi her glasses.

"I found them in your purse last night," Emily offers in explanation. "I figured you would need them in the morning."

Naomi slowly extends her hand and grasps her glasses, her fingers inevitably brushing Emily's, skin tingling where they touch. She slides them on somewhat self-consciously. Waits a few seconds for her vision to adjust before looking back at Emily.

And it's not like in the movies or TV shows that she's seen where Emily looks more beautiful and glamorous than Naomi's ever seen her. Her hair is a mess and there is eyeliner smudged under her eyes and her face doesn't quite look like it's woken up yet. But Naomi thinks that without a doubt this is the most beautiful Emily has ever looked. She looks more like Emily than Naomi has ever seen her, sitting there in a black singlet with messy hair, and it takes her breath away.

Naomi would be embarrassed for staring so unashamedly at the redhead if Emily wasn't also staring back at her the same way. Thinks that with anyone else she would be feeling self-conscious about just waking up hungover, no doubt looking a mess, but not now. Not with Emily looking at her like this. Emily finally breaks the silence, answering the question Naomi had forgotten she'd even asked.

"You were pretty drunk," Emily says with a smirk, clearly wanting to have fun with this. "Just how much of last night do you remember exactly?"

Naomi looks down, her hands tangling in the sheets, a symptom of her nervous habit. "Well, I mean..."

A small hand enters her view and settles over her fidgeting hands, stilling them. She studies their hands together for a second, Emily's so warm and gentle, before looking back up at the redhead.

"Do you remember coming up here?"

Naomi nods. "Of course."

"How about calling me an asshole?"

Naomi can't help but return Emily's sly smile. "I did do that, yes."

The redhead shifts a little closer, and Naomi instinctively leans in closer also, always pulled into Emily's orbit.

"Do you remember me holding your hand?"

Naomi doesn't take her eyes off Emily's, feels the redhead take one of her hands and entwine their fingers, just as she did last night.

"Yes."

Her answer is faint, the blonde struggling to control her breathing as her heart continues to race.

Emily shifts even closer, the two leaning in so close that Naomi can feel the other girl's warm breath on her lips.

"Do you remember me kissing you?"

Emily's voice drops so deep and sultry that it hits Naomi low in the stomach. All the blonde can do is nod. Mesmerised by watching Emily lick her lips teasingly.

"Do you remember falling asleep on my bed when I went to get you some water?"

Emily raises an eyebrow and leans back, a frustrated Naomi leaning back also. At least she's finally got her answer about how last night ended. Also remembers the glass full of water that is apparently for her, her throat still crying out for it.

The blonde frowns, feeling embarrassed. She's sure that Emily is used to girls who can party hard and hold their alcohol. Knows Emily can. Wonders if maybe the redhead had been expecting more from her last night and was disappointed when she fell asleep. That feeling of inadequacy that she usually feels in Emily's presence sneaking up on her again.

"Well in my defence, I did drink about 3 litres of alcohol last night."

"Right."

Emily's tone is flat and she looks away, takes her hand back from Naomi and runs it through her hair. The blonde stares down at her empty hand and then back and Emily. It takes her a moment but she finally realises that Emily might have thought that she was using being drunk as an excuse for everything that happened last night, not just falling asleep.

"Emily I didn't –"

She's interrupted by the sound of the bedroom doorhandle turning, her stomach dropping and panic gripping her at the prospect of someone finding her in Emily's bed, just before she hears Cook calling out.

"Knock knock."

He bursts through the door with a wide grin, looking not at all surprised to see Naomi in bed with Emily. The blonde's heart thumps in her chest, a shot of adrenaline pumping through her, and she instinctively pulls the blanket up higher against herself. A pathetic attempt to hide.

"Fuck Blondie, those glasses are hot. Very librarian porno."

Naomi self-consciously adjusts her glasses, childhood embarrassment returning instantly. Emily whips her legs over the side of the bed and stands, hands on hips, her face scrunched in anger.

"Fucking hell Cook. What good is it shouting _knock knock_ if you're already opening the fucking door. That's not how it works."

Naomi knows she should be concerned about the fact that Cook is standing in the doorway and that Emily might be angry at her, but all she can focus on are Emily's legs. The redhead is wearing a tiny little pair of shorts that barely cover her bottom, and Naomi can't tear her eyes away from all that skin. Her eyes trail up to where Emily's singlet has ridden up, her gaze focusing on the tattoo on the girl's hip. She can see more of it now, the brilliantly bright colours, thinks it looks like some kind of bird. Emily turns her body slightly and the light catches the tattoo in a certain way, making a mass of small silver-like lines visible through the coloured ink. Naomi swallows and feels her muscles tense instantly. She knows what those lines are.

"I see last night worked out well for you after all Emilio. Right Blondie?"

Naomi knows she's being spoken to, finally turns away from Emily to find that Cook has stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Catches him wink at her and grimaces. Can't help but wonder how many girls Cook has found in Emily's bed in the morning. How many he wouldn't have even seen. Wonders if there will be more after her.

Emily reaches over to her dresser and grabs a blue hoodie, sliding into it quickly, reminding Naomi of what she saw underneath it. It's far too big for her and Naomi can't help but swoon a little at the sight. All the awkwardness and uncertainty and tension of the moment worth it for being able to see this.

"What the fuck do you want Cook?" Emily asks wearily, tucking some hair behind her ear.

Cook plays his usual routine of acting hurt and surprised that he's not wanted. Naomi rolls her eyes, already wise to it.

"Well good morning to you too Little Red. I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll be sure to let you two get back to whatever it was you were doing...unless you want me to play too?"

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

"Cook," Emily warns him.

"Yeah alright," he concedes, his smirk dropping. "I just thought I should inform any possible _guests_ that Effy and Panda crashed here last night, so anyone not wanting to be seen by them might not want to leave through the front door. If you know what I mean."

He looks directly at Naomi and she feels compelled to say something. "Uh, thanks Cook."

He smiles and seems to take that as an invitation to continue the conversation, stepping forward and taking a seat on the end of the bed. Emily sighs loudly and Naomi shifts as far up the bed as possible. Cook doesn't seem fazed by their obvious desire for him to leave.

"Although I have to say, I am surprised to see you here this morning Naomikins. Emily doesn't usually let her girls stay the night in Casa Del Cook." He rubs his chin dramatically while taking a glance at Emily, who ignores him, then turns back to face Naomi with a smirk. "Why I do believe that you might be the first."

As she comprehends the meaning of Cook's words Naomi feels something in her chest inflate, her lips curling up into a shy smile. Thinks to herself that Emily must feel it too. That there really must be something between them because Emily let her stay the night in her bed and she's never let any other girl stay the night.

She looks over to Emily hopeful for any sign that she's right. Feels deflated when she finds the redhead now standing with her back to them both, furiously typing something on her phone. Naomi wonders who she's texting. Doubts start to creep into her mind. Maybe Emily didn't want her to stay. Only let her because she passed out in her bed.

"Well James, I didn't think Naomi would appreciate me throwing her into a taxi at 4am or calling my darling twin and telling her where Naomi had been for most of the night."

Emily doesn't look up from her phone, her tone even and detached.

Naomi feels something sink in her stomach. Thinks that this is always the way with the two of them. Every time they take a step forward together they take another step backwards. She never knows where she stands with Emily Fitch. Thinks that that's the way Emily likes it. Thinks about the scars she saw under Emily's tattoo and realises that there is so much that she doesn't know about her. That that's the way Emily wants to keep it.

Cook glances between the two girls with a sceptical but amused look. Shakes his head and stands once again.

"I guess it was a good thing that I saved Naomi from the Funsponge last night."

Naomi cringes at the memory of what happened with Freddie the night before. How she let him kiss her. How desperately she just wanted to be wanted. Doesn't think she'd told Emily about it last night. Glances at the redhead and finds her eyeing her questioningly.

"I think I've caused enough excitement in this room."

Cook walks back to the door and opens it. With a wicked grin he tips his head to Emily before turning and walking through the door. "Top night ladies," he calls out as he closes it behind him.

Emily pivots to face Naomi square on, arms folded across her chest.

"Something happened with Freddie last night?"

Naomi can tell that Emily is trying to keep the question light and casual, but there's an edge to her tone and a tension in her shoulders that belies that. She's not sure what to tell Emily. Scared that if she tells her the truth it will give the redhead an excuse to put even more distance between them. But she doesn't want to lie anymore. Doesn't want anything with Emily to be a lie.

"He kissed me."

She keeps her gaze fixed on Emily, watching to see if the redhead gives anything away. She doesn't, of course.

"Okay."

Naomi frowns, unsure what that reply even means, is about to explain that she didn't want Freddie to kiss her when Emily turns and begins to walk away.

"I'll be back."

She's opening the door before Naomi even knows what's happening and closing it behind her without another word, leaving Naomi still sitting in her bed, stunned and wondering when exactly the redhead is going to come back. She takes a breath and closes her eyes, trying to push down the wave of emotion rising inside her. Can't believe that something that started out so perfect when she woke up has come to this. She opens her eyes and runs a hand through her hair. Takes off her glasses and rubs at her sore eyes. She doesn't want any of this. Doesn't want this almost constant knot in her stomach, the endless uncertainty with Emily and the sneaking around behind her friends. She'd thought Emily was worth it. Thought last night meant something. But clearly she was wrong.

Pulling the blanket off her she shuffles to the edge of the bed and stands, taking a second for her muscles to stretch. She glances around the room, realising that she is in fact alone in Emily's bedroom, her curiosity well and truly piqued. She puts her glasses back on and swivels around slowly, properly taking it all in for the first time in the light of day.

The first thing she notes is that it is surprisingly neat and tidy. For some reason she expected it not to be. It's also rather minimalist. A few pieces of functional furniture, a stereo and a stack of CDs, and a few other random things, being all that fill the room. Effy had said that Emily had moved in last year, but the room barely looks lived it. Naomi wonders if maybe Emily needs it to be that way so that she can leave easily. Emily doesn't seem the type to want to be tethered down to anything...or anyone.

As with every room she ever enters Naomi is instantly drawn to the large bookcase. Needs to know what lines the shelves and what they say about their owner. She walks over and stands before it, her eyes moving slowly along the shelves. She spots a few surprisingly titles but nothing too shocking or disturbing. It's a fairly impressive collection really, a lot of modern classics like Kurt Vonnegut and George Orwell, and some contemporary authors like Jonathan Franzen and Don DeLillo. A lot of political and current affairs books. She's very pleased to see one of her favourite books, _No Logo, _looking well read. If anything, everything on those shelves just makes her even more interested in the redhead.

She takes a step back and angles her head to see the bottom shelf, a small smile curling on her face when she spots a copy of _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_. She bends down and pulls it off the shelf. It's quite an old hardback edition, one Naomi supposes Emily had gotten secondhand or something. She flicks through the pages carefully, her eyes wide with wonder, the smell of an old and well loved book something she adores. Spots something fluorescent on a page that passed, flicking back trying to find it. It's a quote from the book, highlighted in pink. Naomi's first instinct is to wince, she hates when people mark their books, but after a moment she realises that it's one of the quotes Emily had texted her in the weeks prior. Feels the same flutter of excitement that their little game had given her. Curious, she flips through more of the book and finds more highlighted quotes. Some that Emily hadn't sent. Beside some of them Emily has written _Naomi_. One of them has _Naoms_.

The blonde feels that hope inflate her chest again.

She closes the book. Returns it to the shelf. Thinks about their date and then what had happened at school on Friday, how Emily had ignored her and how they hadn't talked about it last night, how they never talked about anything real. Emily shuts down and Naomi is always too scared to confront her.

And now Emily has another reason to push her away.

But Naomi decides that she isn't going to let her. She knows that Emily likes her. Knows that there is something real between them and that it might be complicated but that doesn't mean that it can't work.

So she decides to wait for Emily to return. Takes a seat on the edge of the bed and fidgets with her nails, the more time that passes, the more time her nerves have to grow. She looks around the room for a distraction. Finds her clutch sitting on the chair. She leans over and grabs it, knowing she needs to check her phone. When Cook had mentioned her friends earlier Naomi had known her phone would probably have a few missed calls from last night. Katie's party rules were certainly violated.

She pulls out her phone and is greeted by eight missed calls, five voicemails and seven texts. It's all mostly from Katie but also a few each from Effy and Panda. One text from Freddie. Naomi doesn't want to deal with it now and doesn't know what to say to explain any of last night, so she slides her phone back into her clutch and throws is back onto the chair.

Without a watch so she's not sure how much time has passed, but Emily comes back not too much later, still wearing the adorable hoodie. Naomi smiles as she enters but Emily meets her with that neutral passive expression back on her face. The one that tells Naomi that none of it matters.

But Naomi knows better. Stands on shaky legs, clears her throat and takes a deep breath to settle her nerves.

"Earlier before I didn't mean to say that I was drunk and that's why I came up here and made out with you."

Her voice is a little breathless, and as she speaks she watches Emily frown slightly.

"I just meant to say that that's why I passed out. Because I was drunk. But that's not why I kissed you. I wanted to kiss you."

She pauses to gauge Emily's reaction to all of this, the redhead taking a step closer and her shoulders relaxing, but her expression still unmoved.

"And if you're mad about the thing with Freddie it was nothing. Really. I was super drunk and didn't really realise what was happening and I was about to stop him when Cook interrupted."

Emily opens her mouth, looking like she's about to protest, but Naomi holds up a hand and talks over her.

"Let me get this out."

Emily closes her mouth and crosses her arms, looking mildly impressed. Naomi takes a breath and continues, her tone softening after an encouraging sign from the redhead.

"I was looking for you the whole night Emily. Our date was so great and then you dropped me off and you seemed angry that I didn't want my mum to see you, which I get and I'm sorry. And I wanted to talk to you about it the next day but you were ignoring me and with some other girl all day."

Naomi doesn't know where this shot of courage is coming from but she takes the few steps forward until she's standing in front of the redhead. Reaches out and entwines their fingers the same way Emily did last night and this morning.

"I came to the party to see you, Emily."

The blonde holds her breath, waiting for a reaction, her eyes fixed on Emily who is staring down at their entwined hands.

An agonisingly long moment passes where Emily refuses to meet her eye, and Naomi is about to give up, about to pull her arm back and run out of the room. But then she feels it. Feels Emily squeeze her hand tighter. Watches as Emily tilts her head up and stares right at her with all the warmth and affection that she had last night. Watches the small smile grace Emily's face.

"I was going to make you breakfast."

Naomi scrunches her nose in confusion. She's not sure what that has to do with anything.

"Cook's right," the redhead continues, clearly sensing Naomi's need for elaboration. "You're the first girl to ever stay the night here...with me. I wanted to make you breakfast, and I went downstairs to raid the kitchen, but we've really got fuck all. Especially after last night. So I've made Cook go down to the corner shop and get some stuff." The redhead shrugs. "I'm sorry I took so long."

Naomi can't help but wonder if Emily is talking about more than just her prolonged absence from the room. Can't keep the joyful smile off her face. Feels her stomach flip at Emily's words. What this means for them now.

She tugs their hands closer to her, pulling a smiling Emily in and sliding her free hand around her neck, tangling it in red hair. Feels Emily place a gentle hand on her hip.

"That was a quite a speech there Miss Campbell," Emily teases. "It was downright swoon worthy really."

Naomi scoffs, is about to tell Emily that her speech wasn't too bad either, but her words are once again cut off by Emily's lips.

A soft and slow kiss that Naomi's been waiting all morning for.

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**Aww...Naomi finally has her girl...but for how long? Aaaand...it's only been like a week since the last chapter...snaps for Sonja :P**

**And seriously peeps, 'No Logo' by Naomi Klein is one of the most important books ever written...when I was a naive eighteen year old it blew my mind. If you haven't read it you really should.**

**Oh, and I'm sure a few of you have heard of her already, but those who haven't should jump on the Emma Louise bandwagon (www .youtube. com/watch?v=cvzu3bKgt5Y). I'm going to see her in a couple of weeks and I'm super jazzed about it...aaaaand she's super cute :P**

**I seem to be on a bit of a writing roll so hopefully the next chapter isn't too far away...although I really should start sleeping. They say it's good for you.**

**:)**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: I feel like you all need a reward for your patience with this story and just general loveliness...so here's some (mostly) fluffy Naomily cuteness for you all...and believe me, lovely squishiness was the **_**very**_** last thing my bruised and battered heart felt like writing...ugh...shoot me. So I hope you all enjoy it while it laaaaaaaaaaasts :P**

**Oh, and I think my alcoholic neighbour, (not the crazy one), thinks my best friend and I are dating. It doesn't help that she overheard said friend ask me what we were doing for date night...but we just call it that because we are both single and ridiculous and inappropriate...not weird at all :/ Although it could be beneficial because my crazy neighbour has a creepy friend who always leers at me whenever I see him...which is unfortunately increasingly...so maybe they'll gossip and he'll stop...it's like a fucked up Melrose Place around here...with less pretty people, no sexy pool and a lot more yelling. No wonder my mum wants me to move out...**

**Anyways, enough of my rambling...I hope this is somewhat satisfying...**

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"So if you could watch only one movie for the rest of your life it would be _The Goonies_?" Naomi asks somewhat incredulously, eyeing the redhead sceptically.

The two of them are up in Emily's room watching a movie. Well that was the original plan, but they seem to be talking during most of it anyway, peppering each other with trivial questions. It's been two weeks since the party and although they haven't talked about anything official, or talked about it at all, Naomi is pretty sure that she and Emily are dating. They find secluded corners and rooms at school to make out, sometimes during classes that they've ditched. They've been on a few dates too, mostly at places Emily has taken her to out of town, but they've also gone to the movies together once, arriving separately and then meeting in the darkened theatre. It made Naomi incredibly nervous and she felt terrible about lying to her mother and friends about where she was going, but there was also a thrilling excitement to the whole affair. She felt like a character in a movie. A secret rendezvous with a sexy girl. A few times they've also hung out on Emily's bed watching movies and talking and kissing. Now that Cook knows about them and Emily promised Naomi that he would keep his mouth shut it was good to have a place they could relax and just be together. Much like they are tonight, with Naomi sitting up against the bed head and Emily lying on a diagonal across the bed.

The redhead props herself up on her elbow, an amused smile on her lips. "Is it so hard to believe that I would love The Goonies?"

"Well..." Naomi considers her question. Finds it hard to concentrate now that she can see down Emily's shirt. Is pretty sure that the redhead isn't wearing a bra.

"Yes?"

The blonde darts her eyes up from Emily's chest quickly. Find the redhead smirking at her, knowing exactly what Naomi was staring at.

"Um...no. I mean yes. The Goonies is not what I would have expected."

She tries to keep the flush of embarrassment off her cheeks but she feels her face grow hot and knows she hasn't managed to. She's still getting used to this whole, admitting to liking girls thing. Still getting used to not having to hide it all the time.

"Oh, and what would you have expected?"

The blonde rubs her chin dramatically and smirks. "Something with Angelina Jolie wearing leather and kicking some guy's ass?"

Emily scoffs. "So that's what you think of me huh? So cliché? Just some dumb horny girl?"

"Well I'm not interested in you for your brain," Naomi adds quickly, delighted by the amused look on the redhead's face. "And I don't think loving The Goonies proves your smarts."

"Oh really?"

Emily draws herself up onto her hands and knees and slowly crawls up the bed toward the blonde, placing each knee on either side of her until she's straddling her lap.

The combination of Emily being so close and her voice being so low and sultry makes Naomi's tummy flip. Gives her a thrilling feeling even lower. Physical intimacy is something she's still getting used to, still feels a little awkward and unsure sometimes, but with each passing day it's getting easier. There's nothing about Emily being this close that Naomi doesn't like. Especially when the redhead leans forward and kisses her neck. Soft gentle kisses that send shivers all over the blonde's body. Kisses up to her ear and then whispers, "So what are you interested in me for?"

She kisses behind Naomi's ear and the blonde's eyelids flutter closed. Her breath hitches in her chest and she knows Emily heard it because she can feel the redhead smile against her neck. Thinks that maybe she should be embarrassed about being so obvious to Emily about how she makes her feel, but she can't seem to care, not with Emily so close. Naomi is sure that the redhead can feel her pulse racing under her skin. That she can feel how much she wants her.

Emily kisses her way across Naomi's jaw until she reaches her lips but then leans back, the blonde opening her eyes when she feels Emily's lips go missing, sees the girl sitting back with that amused smirk on her face.

"Where's your favourite place that you've lived?"

"Wh-what?" Naomi stammers out. She'd been expecting and hoping for the kissing to continue, not to stop for another round of questions.

"Just teasing," Emily whispers as she leans back into the blonde, pressing their lips firmly together and bringing one hand up to cup Naomi's cheek. Naomi isn't sure what to do with her hands, always feels so lost and unsure about what she can touch and what she can't or what she wants to touch or doesn't think she's ready for yet. Their kissing has been getting progressively longer and more physical, and Naomi is trying to just go with it and be in the moment but a lot of the time she can't make her head shut up. Still can't help worrying that she's not doing it right. Thinking about all the girls Emily has been with and how experienced most of them probably were and how there must be some standard that she has to live up to.

But the decision is made for her when Emily takes both her hands in each of hers and pulls them around her small waist, resting them on her lower back. Naomi feels Emily moan softly against her lips as her fingers explore the soft skin that's been exposed by the redhead's shirt riding up at the back. Feels Emily lean closer against her as the redhead slips her hand up under Naomi's top and rests it on her hip, the blonde feeling goosebumps raise across her skin. She opens her mouth to let Emily in and their kissing intensifies, a heat building between them as the blonde starts to feel Emily's hips gently rocking into hers.

And that's when Naomi lets go and lets her mind blank out everything that isn't Emily. Forgets about the lies she's told and the burning questions she still wants to ask Emily. Forgets about worrying that she's inexperienced. All she can do is feel. Feel Emily.

She slides one hand down Emily's back and grabs her ass, brings the other up to tangle in red hair. Emily's hand is starting to slide a little higher up Naomi's side and the blonde is going to let it, but both girls jump when Naomi's phone goes off, their motions stilling.

"Fuck," Emily breathes out, slowly sitting back on her knees.

Both girls find themselves a little breathless. Naomi reaches her arm out to the bedside table and checks who's calling. Sees Katie's name lit up on the screen and feels that knot of anxiety in her stomach. An irrational fear rippling through her that Katie must know somehow. Must be ringing to confront her about it. Thinks that Cook must have told her. But she takes a breath and just as quickly talks herself down. Reminds herself that Katie doesn't know and Cook would never betray Emily. She isn't altogether comfortable trusting Cook with this, but Emily trusts him with her life, and when it comes down to it she trusts Emily.

"The good twin," Emily says dryly, able to see the screen when Naomi checked her phone.

Naomi nods, not sure what she's supposed to say when it comes to Katie and her friends. She wants to know what happened between them all, but Emily always avoids the subject and Naomi feels uncomfortable when it comes up because then they'd probably also have to confront the fact that she doesn't want her friends to know about all this. So most of the time she loses her nerve and steers the conversation away from it. There are a lot of things they don't talk about. Like why Emily is living with Cook and not at home. Or the scars Naomi noticed under Emily's tattoo. Naomi knows there is still a lot about Emily that she doesn't know. Knows there is a lot about herself that Emily doesn't know.

The mood well and truly broken, Emily crawls off Naomi's lap and sits cross legged halfway down the bed, staring at her hands like they are the most important thing in the room. Naomi feels the tension between them and instinctively draws her knees up to her chest, inadvertently putting more space between them.

It's quiet for an unbearable moment. Naomi feels like maybe Emily is almost trying to force her to finally say something about it. Is about to when Emily speaks first.

"So, where does your mum think you are right now?"

Naomi blinks. She hadn't been expecting that. Equally treacherous conversation. Another topic they had been avoiding. Waits for Emily to look up at her but the redhead doesn't.

"Well, she's working, but...I told her I would be at Effy's."

Naomi can hear the shame in her own voice and it kills her a little. She hates all the lying and she doesn't want to, but she feels like she's trapped. Afraid she'll lose Katie as a friend if she tells her the truth. Doesn't think she's ready to in any case. She's not ready to tell the world who she is because she's not even sure yet.

"Right."

Emily finally looks up and meets her eye and she has that look again. That completely passive and unreadable look that frustrates the hell out of Naomi. She knows that it means that Emily is shutting her out. Putting a wall back up between them. Not that she doesn't deserve it.

So she decides to be brave. Thinks that it's worked for her in the past with Emily so maybe it will again. Maybe if she opens up a little Emily will too.

"It's not that I want to lie to her about you," she says tentatively, straightening her legs. She pauses and waits for any kind of reaction from Emily. Continues when she doesn't get one.

"I just...we're not very close – my mum and I. And I'm still kind of getting used to all of this."

She takes another chance. Reaches her hand out and rests it on Emily's knee.

"I'm not ashamed of you or anything Em. In fact I still can't believe that you actually like _me_."

Naomi watches the redhead and waits for a response but gets nothing. Is about to pull her hand back when she feels Emily cover it with hers.

Naomi looks up and finds the redhead staring at her with warmth and affection and a hint of a smirk.

"I can't believe that I actually like you either."

They share a smile and the redhead threads their fingers together. Scoots a little higher up the bed, closer to Naomi.

"So where is your favourite place you've lived anyway?"

Naomi chuckles, amused by the abrupt change of mood and subject, but nonetheless welcoming of it.

"Um...well I did like Edinburgh, great live music. And I loved Melbourne, awesome everything. And Brighton was pretty colourful and interesting." She squeezes Emily's hand. "But I think I've found something in Bristol that I like even better."

Emily raises an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yup. That cafe around the corner from college has these delicious éclairs that I could get eat endlessly. _So_ good."

Emily laughs. Leans forward and kisses the blonde softly and sweetly. "Those éclairs are indeed delicious."

Naomi smiles, pleased with her efforts and the resulting shift in tension once more. They two girls spend another hour talking and laughing in Emily's room before the alarm goes off on Naomi's phone.

"I love that you set your alarm to tell you it's time to go home. You're such a cute little geek." Emily kisses her nose. Slides off the bed and holds her hand out for the blonde. "Come on. I'll walk you home."

-x-

They spend the walk holding hands and asking each other question after question which seem to be getting increasingly ridiculous and resulting in the two of them dissolving into laughter. Emily tells Naomi that she has to watch The Breakfast Club and Naomi tells Emily that she has to read Cormac McCarthy. She'll lend her a book. Emily tells her that she'll make her a CD with some songs she thinks the blonde will like.

As they approach Naomi's street Emily releases the blonde's hand silently, obviously remembering what happened on their date, but Naomi takes her hand once again. Smiles at the redhead and receives a surprised smile in return. She knows it's easy to feel brave when her mum is at work and won't see her. But still, it's something.

They reach Naomi's front door and both pull up, hands releasing. Their eyes lock and they stare at each other for an intense moment, Naomi caught up in the romance of being walked to her door by the girl she likes after their date. Thinks about how they're supposed to kiss now.

A car drives passed and breaks the tension, both girls stepping back slightly. But Naomi doesn't want her night with Emily to end just yet.

"Did you still want to borrow that book?"

Emily seems to take a second to comprehend what the blonde is saying, but eventually nods her head. "Yeah, thanks. That would be great."

Naomi reaches for her keys and spins around, unlocking her front door and opening it, reaching inside and flicking on some lights.

"Do you want me to wait outside?"

Naomi almost says yes instinctively, out of habit. Bites her lip to stop herself. She's been so terrified of Emily being around her house and the prospect of her mother merely laying eyes on the two of them together and just _knowing_ that something is going on. But her mum is working and won't be back til late, so there's no reason Emily can't come in. No reason Naomi can't show her the house and her room.

"Don't be silly," she says as she takes the redhead's hand and pulls her with her through the front door. "I'll show you my room."

She looks back and finds Emily staring at her with a grateful smile, knows she's done good.

Naomi gives her the grand tour which takes all of about two minutes, not forgetting to point out all of the mismatched or out of place decor that her mother loves but she can't stand. They make their way up the stairs and finally halt at Naomi's bedroom door.

For some reason the blonde feels like revealing her room to Emily is a big deal. Like the redhead is seeing a part of her that other people rarely get to see.

She takes a breath and pushes the door open, leading Emily through, watching the redhead's eyes dart around as she takes it all in. Stands by the door feeling terribly self-conscious as Emily moves into the middle of the room and looks around.

"It's nice," Emily says finally, and Naomi can tell she means it. "It's very you, I think."

Naomi takes a breath and can't help a wide grin spreading across her face. She likes that Emily already knows her well enough to say that.

"Thanks. I guess it's kind of bare but you get used to travelling light when you're moving around a lot."

The redhead walks over to her and places a lingering kiss on her lips.

"Hopefully you won't have to move again this year."

"Yeah."

"Now where's that book you're forcing me to read?"

Naomi smiles, fetches the book and hands it to the redhead. "You'll love it."

"Or at least pretend to," Emily adds with a smirk.

They kiss again, the redhead sighing when they break apart.

"I guess I better get going. It's kinda late."

Naomi walks her out.

"Are you going to be okay walking home?"

"I'm always okay," Emily says in such a nonchalant way that Naomi almost believes her.

The blonde bites her lip. "So, I guess I'll see you at college tomorrow?"

"Ah, probably not. A friend is coming into town so I'm hanging out with her for the day."

Naomi's stomach knots when she hears the word _her_. Thinks about how the only girl friends she's ever seen Emily with or heard her mention were more than just friends. Thinks about all that she knows about Emily and how they haven't talked about whether they're dating or exclusive or anything yet. Tries to ignore the building jealousy in the pit of her stomach.

"Oh, right. Well, have fun."

Emily smiles, seemingly completely unaware of the tension now in Naomi's body. "Thanks. We will."

The redhead grabs Naomi's hip and gently pulls her toward her, snaking one hand around her neck and pulling the blonde's head down until their lips meet. A slow and probing kiss that leaves Naomi breathless once again. She really likes kissing Emily Fitch.

"Tonight was great," Emily whispers against the blonde's lips. "I'll see you soon."

Naomi nods, still too dazed by the kiss to say anything, but as Emily opens the gate and the prospect of not seeing her tomorrow and Emily's maybe date confronts her, Naomi can't let the redhead go just yet. Calls after her.

"Em?"

The girl stops and takes a few steps back up the path. "Yeah?"

Naomi fidgets with her fingers, trying to find the right words and not embarrass herself. Knows from past experience that that will probably happen anyway.

Emily senses her anxiety, moving back up the path and placing a gentle hand on her arm. "Hey, what is it?"

Naomi takes a deep breath, can't manage to meet the redhead's eyes.

"I just...I mean...are you...are you still seeing other girls? Because I know we never talked about it so I guess it's understandable if you are and I was just wondering really, more out of curiosity than anything because like I said it's –"

"Naomi," Emily says a little forcefully, taking the blonde's hands in her own.

Naomi closes her mouth abruptly. Lifts her gaze to find Emily staring at her intensely.

"I haven't been seeing any other girls. And I don't want to. I like being with you."

Naomi feels that bubble of hope and excitement swell in her chest again. A wide goofy grin breaks across her face.

"You're not still making out with Freddie are you?"

Emily says it jokingly, but Naomi can tell there's honest concern underneath the question. Wants to remove that possibility from Emily's mind.

"Oh god of course not. And like I said, he kissed me at that party before I even realised it."

"Well," Emily says as she leans in closer, "if he does that again I'm going to kick his balls in."

The redhead kisses her once again and Naomi can't help the whimper that escapes her. Knows it's completely ridiculous and girly but she likes the idea of someone defending her honour and getting jealous over her. Especially if that someone is Emily Fitch.

"I'll see you soon," Emily says finally, before kissing her a final time and stepping away, back down the path.

All Naomi can manage is a, "Yeah."

She watches the redhead until she's out of sight.

Forget the éclairs, Emily is definitely her favourite thing about Bristol.

.

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* * *

**I hope that was okay...it's late and I'm tired and I can't tell the crap aside from the really crap anymore. Oh, and The Goonies and The Breakfast Club are the best!**

**My new favourite song which you should totally listen to is **_**Lost and Found**_** by Katie Herzig...it's just so pretty pretty pretty and the chorus is what pretty dreams are made of...(youtube. com /watch?v=JUw97QW9juM)**

**So, I just wanted to say again, thank you for all of your support and reviews and messages. As other writers on here would know, sometimes just one funny or insightful or constructive review can inspire you to write a new chapter, or help you focus when you've had a shitty day and would rather be watching craptastic reality tv shows. So thank you for taking the time.**

**:)**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Okay three things - One, thank you all for being so awesome and a special shout out to RebeccaLong who has gone through and reviewed each chapter with very charming and funny reviews that made me smile. Not that all of yours don't. So thank you. ****Second thing – it seems I have done almost too good a job at revealing what a hot mess my life is right now. I'm getting a lot of reviews and messages of support and offering a figurative shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen, and while you cannot know how much I appreciate it and what that means to me, I just want to reassure peeps that I'm not out on the ledge or anything. It's just that I've recently learned that it's better to say it out loud than keep it in and go crazy, and there's nothing to be ashamed of if you're not perfect. Seems like an easy concept but it took me 26 years to learn. So yes, almost everything in my life is in the shitter right now, but aside from my father being terminally ill everything else is self-inflicted, so I feel quite undeserving of all your concern...but I do very much appreciate it. And fear not! I'm alive, have the greatest best friend in the world, an awesome big sis and a wonderful mother, so shit might be rough right now but I'm going to be fine. I make a joke out of things because that's how I am, but rest assured, I'll be okay. In fact, I'm going to be awesome one day. And thirdly, I have the biggest girl crush on Snow White/Mary Margaret from Once Upon A Time...she is just too adorable and gorgeous. That is all :P**

**Apologies for monster length A/N...but two updates in two days go me! This is just a quick little chapter because I want to establish how their relationship is progressing and I'd prefer to do it with short individual chapters rather than one long one...plus, I was bored today...**

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.

.

"I would...marry Prince Eric...fuck Hercules and kill Aladdin."

"Kill Aladdin!" Panda gasps. "But he swings from rooftops and he's dreamy."

"But he's a peasant," Katie shoots back, scrunching her nose is disgust, "and Eric is hot."

Sitting across from them at the cafeteria table, Naomi glances from Katie to Panda with a bemused look on her face.

Next to her Effy leans in over the table. "You do realise you idiots are talking about cartoon characters right?"

There's a short awkward moment of silence before Katie sits back in her chair looking a little embarrassed. "Panda brought it up."

Naomi catches Effy's eye and the two can't help but laugh. Katie and Effy continue on with their playful banter and Naomi takes an opportunity to just sit back and enjoy it. She loves this. Loves having real friends that she has fun with and can be silly with. Friends that seem to accept her for exactly who she is, no questions asked.

Friends who trust her.

Naomi winces when she once again thinks about her lies. All those fucking lies. She feels like she's told so many that it's getting harder to keep it all straight. Harder not to feel trapped by them. She hates it, but it's becoming second nature to her now. Coming up with bullshit excuses and covers for where she's been and what she's been doing. It's been almost a month now since she'd woken up in Emily's bed after the party, but when she'd told her friends that she'd not been feeling well and simply gone home, they accepted it without question. Katie had even asked if she wanted her to make chicken soup, which made Naomi feel even worse. Effy is a little harder to gauge. Naomi is pretty sure that the brunette knows or suspects something, but there seems to be a silent agreement not to speak about it, and Effy has never questioned any of Naomi's lies. A few times Naomi has had the desperate urge to just confront Effy about it and tell the truth, but she can't be sure, and she isn't ready to sacrifice her friendships. Not until she knows exactly what happened between Emily and Katie. Something she feels like she's getting closer to.

She lifts her gaze and glances across the room until she spots flaming red hair. Has to stop a smile from tugging at her lips. Emily is sitting at a table chatting to Cook and JJ but her gaze is fixed on Naomi, the two locking eyes and the redhead winking. Naomi can't stop a small smile then. Emily always does things like that when they can't acknowledge each other in public. Will wink or nod or some other small gesture to let Naomi know that she's thinking about her. Naomi has always thought it was such a cliché, but she finally understands what it is to have someone make you feel like the only person in the world.

Throughout lunch Naomi keeps stealing glances over at Emily, more often than not finding the redhead glancing at her too. She's listening to Effy and Pandora telling the story about the time Pandora's mum accidentally got high from one of Effy's brownies, when she glances over and sees a girl standing at Emily's table talking to the redhead. That tall girl Mandy. She instinctively tightens her grip on her drink. Tries to be as subtle as possible while trying to follow what's going on at Emily's table. Emily says something and Mandy laughs. Emily laughs too. After watching one a off for a few minutes Naomi hears her name being called by Panda and is forced to look away and rejoin their conversation. By the time she feels safe enough to sneak another glace across the room Mandy is gone. And so is Emily.

Naomi's eyes dart over to the clock on the wall and there is still plenty of time before lunch is over. Her mind goes into a tailspin of panic over where Emily might have gone and whether she's with Mandy. What she's doing with Mandy. Whether Mandy still has her clothes on. Naomi feels her heart start to race as the jealousy surges through her. She knows that Emily promised her that she wouldn't see other girls, but the blonde can't help the paranoia clouding her mind, stopping her from listening to reason.

She spends the rest of lunch fidgeting with her straw and tapping her foot, consumed with thoughts of Emily and Mandy. She can't concentrate enough to keep up with the conversation around her but she does enough to avoid any questions. By the time lunch is over her jealousy has turned to anger. An irrational baseless anger that is nonetheless all consuming. She's inexplicably angry at the redhead. Doesn't know why she was even talking to Mandy really. It's not like they're friends.

"So we'll meet at the cinema at five yeah?" Katie confirms as they leave the cafeteria and the four of them prepare to go to their lockers and classes.

Naomi had almost forgotten that they were seeing a movie this evening. The knot in her stomach is preventing her from being excited about it, and truth be told, she doesn't feel much like going anymore and would rather spend the night at home reading or listening to music and painting her nails. Doesn't want to have to pretend she's not in a grump. She obviously can't tell her friends about why she's feeling shitty, which in turn makes her angrier because this is precisely the sort of thing that she should be talking to her friends about. But she does want to see the movie and doesn't want to tell yet another lie to excuse herself, so she nods along with Effy and Panda.

Naomi's glad to be out of the cafeteria and heading to class where she can at least concentrate on something other than Emily. But as she takes her seat and the class progresses she realises that that's impossible. _All_ she can think about is Emily. Like some kind of Emily-specific mental illness. It doesn't help that she hasn't talked to the redhead all day or received a text or email or anything. She feels that knot in her stomach growing again. Drives herself crazy wondering if Emily showed up to her class after lunch.

-x-

Naomi is taking a bathroom break halfway through her class when she opens the stall door and sees Emily waiting for her at the sinks with a cheeky grin. Finds herself feeling annoyed rather than relieved at seeing the redhead.

"Jesus. Do you have a GPS on me or something?"

Emily seems confused and taken aback by her annoyed sarcasm, her smile fading quickly.

"No, I'm just clever. I know you have economics after lunch today and when I went past your class you weren't in there so I figured you were in here."

"Right."

Naomi keeps her head down while she washes her hands. Feels the redhead step closer to her.

"Are you pissed at me for something?"

Naomi scoffs. Finally lifts her eyes and looks at Emily through the mirror. Can't help herself.

"Did you have fun with that Mandy girl at lunch?"

She watches Emily's eyes narrow for a second before seeing the comprehension dawn across her face. The redhead crosses her arms defensively.

"So what, you think I hooked up with Mandy at lunch, is that it? That's why you're pissed at me?"

Naomi shrugs, tries to hold her nerve. She's not used to confrontation and hates feeling like her emotions are getting the best of her.

"I didn't...I didn't say that."

Emily raises an eyebrow. "Well then what were you saying? What exactly are you accusing me of?"

But the more defensive Emily gets the more persistent Naomi does.

"Why were you even talking to her? Where did you two go when you left?"

Emily scoffs. "So I'm not allowed to talk to people now? Is that how it is?"

"You know that's not what I meant," Naomi replies, frustrated by the conversation. Neither of them saying what they really want to.

"Then what _did_ you mean?" Emily presses again, looking equally frustrated. "You think that I would cheat on you and hook up with someone else?"

Naomi locks eyes with Emily through the mirror and they stare at each other for an intense moment before the blonde looks away silently.

Emily's stance softens. Her voice lowers. Naomi can hear the hurt in it. "Do you really think that?"

Naomi takes a second to consider it. She's heard all about Emily's reputation, hell, she's seen some of it. She still has Katie's words in her head, warning her to stay away from her twin because she's bad news. But she also knows the way Emily looks at her. The way she speaks to her and holds her hand and always opens the door for her and has that smile that seems to be only for Naomi.

She lifts her head and turns to face the redhead, a repentant look on her face.

"No, I don't think you'd do that. I'm sorry...I just went a little crazy when I saw her talking to you at lunch and then the two of you were gone. I shouldn't have assumed. It's just hard sometimes with this whole thing being a secret."

She bites her lip. Waits anxiously for Emily's response.

"Isn't that how you want it?"

The blonde can hear the hurt and blame all wrapped up in Emily's question. Finds herself wishing she'd never said anything because she knows she can't win this argument. Emily's right. It's her fault that everything is a secret. She's the one who wants this. It's not fair for her to get angry with Emily about it. She's the one who asked for it to be like this. The one asking Emily to lie.

"I'm sorry."

She keeps her eyes down, a sense of shame weighing on her. The silence stretches between them and Naomi doesn't know what to say. Not sure if there's anything she even can say. Maybe Emily will think that this is too much. All the sneaking around and lying. Maybe Emily will think she's not worth it. Naomi wouldn't blame her.

But Emily eventually steps forward, much to Naomi's relief, taking the blonde's hand in her own.

"How do you think I feel? I know Freddie is still after you, as well as half the boys at this school. I bet quite a few girls would be too if they thought they had a chance. But I see the way Freddie looks at you. You think I like that? Him not knowing that you're mine."

Naomi feels her heart thud in her chest and then speed up.

"I'm yours?"

Watches a small smile curl up one side of Emily's mouth.

"Well, I know that's a bit caveman of me, but –"

Naomi doesn't let Emily finish her sentence, sliding her hand around the girl's neck and pulling her close, silencing her with a lingering kiss.

"I like being yours," Naomi whispers softly against her lips. Feels Emily's hands come around to rest on her lower back.

"Good. I like it too."

Emily leans forward and kisses her again, more forcefully this time, pressing Naomi gently against the sink. There's a hunger and passion to the kiss that drives Naomi crazy, a possessiveness that makes her want more. More Emily Fitch. She wraps her hand in red hair, the other one on the girl's hip, hooking into Emily's belt loop and pulling her closer. So close that their hips press against each other. The edge of the sink is pressing into Naomi's back but she doesn't care. Can barely feel it compared to everything else Emily is making her feel.

They pull away after a couple of minutes, each girl breathless, still keeping hold of each other. Naomi opens her eyes and finds the redhead staring at her with such an intense hunger in her eyes that it's making her feel all sorts of things low in her belly.

"Come to my place after college," Emily says in the impossibly sexy voice that makes Naomi's knees weak.

Transfixed, Naomi can only nod.

"Good."

Emily pulls her closer and kisses her again, it's less intense, but Naomi can still feel it down to her bones.

"You better get back to class."

Naomi nods, still a little dazed, but knows she's been out of class for a while now. "Yeah."

Her legs feel a little shaky as she makes her way across the room, and the smile that Emily gives her when the blonde turns back as she's walking out the door doesn't help.

It's not until she's back in class that Naomi remembers Katie's reminder at lunch about the movies tonight. She doesn't really even consider cancelling with Emily. She wants to go be with her friends, but she's with her friends at school all the time. And it's Emily. Emily Emily Emily. It's all she can think about. All she wants. And there will be plenty of times that she'll go to the movies with the girls. One more lie won't hurt.

.

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**Confession: my friends and I have played Disney Prince/Princess marry fuck kill before...we're super mature :P**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Whatup! It's your friendly FF town crazy...I was supposed to go out tonight but there was a scary storm that freaked the fuck out of me (I'm super lame and seriously scared of thunder), but at least I had time to finish this while I was all alone and huddled on my bed rocking back and forth.**

**Oh, and to my anonymous reviewer who invited me to come party in Scotland – while the super cute accent alone is enough of a reason for me to say yes, unfortunately I must decline...it's cold over there at the moment...I'm like superman, I need the sun!**

**I hear there are some folks who like reading Naomily kissy-time...hmm...**

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.

.

Naomi has never felt this _desire_, such an intense _want_, for anyone or anything before. A need to touch and kiss and explore everything about Emily and to hear those little groans the redhead makes when she does.

Emily shifts her hips and slides her thigh between Naomi's and the blonde gasps. Feels Emily smile against her neck and murmur something that she can't make out. Naomi just nods, silently urging Emily to keep going. To keep making her feel like this. To never stop.

The redhead trails slow, open-mouthed kisses back up to capture Naomi's lips once again, the steady pressure of her thigh driving the blonde insane.

"You're so sexy," Emily breathes out between kisses, her hand sliding higher up Naomi's stomach under her top.

They've been here before. Kissing and touching and grinding on each other on Emily's bed. And it's still all very PG over the clothes stuff, although it's gotten more intense every time, but it always gets to a point where they both stop. Emily seems to know Naomi's unspoken boundaries and always pulls up before things get too far, sometimes with a frustrated groan. The blonde isn't stupid, she knows that Emily is used to having sex. Wonders if this last six weeks is the longest the redhead has gone without sex in a while. Emily isn't pressuring her but Naomi feels it anyway. And right now she wouldn't care if things went too far. She just wants as much of Emily as she can get.

As if hearing her silent wish, Emily shifts her leg back over to straddle the blonde, leans back onto her knees and rips off her tshirt quickly, throwing it to the ground. Naomi's eyes go wide. She inhales sharply and feels a flutter low in her belly. The redhead has still got her bra on but it's the most of Emily's skin she's ever seen. Soft perfect skin that she just needs to touch.

So she does. She doesn't think about it, doesn't wonder if she's doing it right, doesn't freak out. She just lifts her hands and places them on Emily's hips. Like it's some simple thing that she's allowed to do now. Which she realises she is. Emily wants her to. She feels her fingers brush across the lines under Emily's tattoo. It's still half hidden but Naomi can see that it's definitely a bird now. A swallow. She has so many questions about it but now is not the time. Her hands slide slowly across the redhead's stomach, so slowly, wanting to feel everything. Feel the goosebumps raise across Emily's skin and the movement of her stomach with her rapid breathing. Her right hand travels up between Emily's breasts, feels her heart thumping so quickly under her palm. Naomi's eyes, which had been transfixed by the journey of her hands, flick up to meet Emily's. Her brown eyes looking darker than Naomi has ever seen them.

"You're so perfect," Naomi says softly.

It's the only thought in her mind. What she's thought since the first time she saw the redhead. She's so caught up in the moment that she doesn't even feel embarrassed being so honest. Doesn't care if Emily knows exactly what she's feeling. Thinks Emily probably always knows anyway.

And for the briefest of moments Emily softens. For the first time since meeting her Naomi thinks that Emily looks small. Looks unsure.

But then it's gone. And that look is back in her eyes. The one that always lets Naomi know that Emily is in charge and makes her feel safe.

"Fuck," Emily breathes out as she pushes her body back down onto Naomi and slams their lips together.

Naomi almost feels like the breath gets knocked out of her but she can't stop kissing Emily, and it doesn't seem like the redhead will let her at any rate. Everything is suddenly hurried and frenzied. Emily grabbing at Naomi's top and pulling it up. Kissing her stomach. Naomi's hands tangling in red hair. Emily's thigh back between the blonde's. Naomi pushing hers up this time. Emily's throaty groan as she arches up and lets her head drop back. Naomi leaning forward and kissing the perfect skin of her chest.

And it's everything Naomi always thought she would want. Someone who wants her so desperately. But when Emily's hand slides further under her top. When it's pushing Naomi's bra up and covering her breast. When Emily's other hand slips into the waistband of her jeans and makes Naomi's muscles quiver, it's not right. Not for her first time. It's too much, too quick. Like Emily is sprinting towards a finish line.

"Wait...Em," Naomi breathes out, pressing lightly at Emily's shoulder.

Emily doesn't stop, keeps kissing her neck while her hand inches lower, and Naomi briefly questions if she'd even said anything. But when Naomi feels Emily tugging her underwear down, her hand darts down to grab the redhead's.

"Emily," she says more forcefully.

The spell seems to be broken then. Emily lifting her head and meeting Naomi's eyes. The two girls frozen in place and breathing heavily.

"Fuck," Emily says after a minute, drawing her hand back up and lifting herself off of the blonde. "I'm sorry, I didn't..."

She doesn't complete her sentence and rolls onto her back, hands coming up to cover her face as she takes a deep breath.

Naomi pulls her top down and nods, not sure what's she's supposed to say. Not sure how Emily was going to end that sentence. Doesn't want Emily to feel bad. Doesn't want Emily to think that it's something she did.

She's staring at the ceiling and feels Emily take her hand and entwine their fingers. It's reassuring. Both girls silent as their breathing evens out. Naomi wants to tell Emily that it's okay, that it's not her fault. Has never admitted to anyone that she is a virgin, but wants to explain to Emily why she couldn't just let it happen like that. Takes a deep breath.

"I've never..." She trails off, hoping that Emily gets the idea and she doesn't have to actually say it out loud. Feels the redhead squeeze her hand a little tighter after a second.

"Oh."

Naomi can feel Emily turn to look at her. Can't bring herself to look back, keeping her eyes on the ceiling, her heart racing with adrenaline.

"Not even with a boy?"

Naomi bites her lip. Winces as she feels her cheeks burn. All she can manage is a slight shake of her head.

"Oh."

The blonde closes her eyes. Takes a deep breath. She feels better now that Emily knows, but she's also wondering what the redhead is thinking. What she'll think of her.

Soft lips on her cheek, a lingering kiss, snap her mind back to the moment. She opens her eyes and turns her head. See's Emily lying on her side with a comforting smile.

"I'm sorry. If I'd known I wouldn't have –"

"I know."

The redhead leans forward and gives her a chaste kiss. Nothing like their kisses from a couple of minutes ago. But Naomi knows there is just as much feeling. Knows that Emily is telling her just as much with that kiss as she did with the others. Telling her that it's okay. That she'll be safe with her. She can trust her.

They both settle onto their backs again, holding their hands between them.

Naomi closes her eyes, falls asleep with a smile on her lips.

-x-

Naomi wakes with a start. Knows she wasn't supposed to fall asleep. Not in Emily's bed. And not with her contacts in again. She looks to where she last saw Emily and notices that the redhead isn't there. Glances around the room. The redhead isn't there at all.

She leans over the bed and finds her bag, pulls out her phone and checks the time. She's been asleep for a couple of hours, but it's a Saturday evening and her mum is at work and then going on a date with Tesco Roger, so no lies necessary.

She slides her phone into her pocket and sits up, wondering where Emily is. There's no note and Naomi can't hear any noises in the house, but she's anxious about leaving Emily's room in search of her. Since the party she hasn't really hung out in any other part of the house other than Emily's room. Doesn't really feel comfortable wandering around Cook's house, but doesn't want to sit in Emily's bed all night either.

She slips out of the bed and pads her way over to the door. Leans her ear against it and holds her breath trying to listen. Nothing. She grabs the handle and twists it, pulling the door open slightly. Nothing seems to be moving in the hall, though she's not sure what she expected to find out there. She sticks her head out tentatively, calls out Emily's name, once softly, then again a little louder.

"Blondie?"

"Cook?"

Naomi opens the door and steps into the hall. He sounds like he's yelling from downstairs.

"Yeah mate. Emilio just ducked out for a bit after your shag-a-thon. She'll be back any minute. So come the fuck down here and eat some of this pizza yeah? You can tell Cookie all about your afternoon."

She doesn't really want to hang out with Cook, especially if it's just the two of them and he's already making gross jokes, but the mention of pizza reminds her that the last time she ate was at breakfast. And if Emily will be back soon then she won't need to be alone with Cook for too long.

"It wasn't a shag-a-thon," the blonde corrects him as she traipses down the stairs.

"Right," Cook replies as he comes into view, sitting at the kitchen table surrounded by five pizza boxes, cigarette in hand.

"Jesus. Practicing for a competitive eating competition?"

Cook scoffs, clearly delighted by Naomi giving him shit.

"Nah, I'd never beat Emily. But you'd know more about that than I would, wouldn't ya?"

He smirks and Naomi rolls her eyes. She doesn't know how Emily puts up with it.

"Emily told me to order pizza but didn't know what one you'd want so told me to order a few different ones," Cook explains while exhaling smoke over his shoulder. "Red is payin so I do what I'm told."

Naomi opens one of the boxes and finds BBQ chicken. Takes a slice.

"So where did Emily go anyway?"

Cook shrugs. "Out."

Naomi grimaces. Not the answer she wanted.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, it's a little awkward, but Naomi is more concerned with her growing anxiety over where Emily went. She knows she fell asleep and can't expect the redhead to have just sat there waiting for her to wake up, but she still feels kind of abandoned. Can't help feeling like Emily should have been there when she woke up.

She glances over at Cook. Frowns when she finds him picking ham out of his teeth. She doesn't really understand how he and Emily are best friends. Decides this could be a good chance to ask some questions.

"So, when did you and Emily become friends?"

Cook takes his fingers out of his mouth. "Me and Little Red? Ah mate, primary school I reckon. But back then we all used to be mates. And her best mate was Freddie. When things got proper fucked up that's when Emily became like me little sister. Me little sister who can beat me up."

Naomi can't help but smile at the obvious affection and love on Cook's face when he's talking about Emily. Thinks that there is some good in him, you just have to get past his bullshit.

"When things got fucked up?"

Cook takes a drag of his cigarette, then realises his poor etiquette and offers his pack to Naomi. The blonde takes and lights one without thinking. It's what she's been doing lately around Emily. She's still not sure why but at the same time she doesn't stop herself, happy to keep Cook talking.

"When the world found out she was a muff muncher. That was the start of the fucking shitstorm."

Naomi exhales a cloud of smoke and nods for Cook to continue. Emily hasn't talked much about it so she wants to hear as much as possible from him. Hopes that maybe she can piece together what happened with the Fitch family and why Emily ended up moving in with Cook.

"One day some cock slammed her into a wall, called her a dyke and broke her fucking arm. School didn't do shit about it. Her olds didn't want to make a fuss. I beat the fucking shit out of that kid."

Naomi's mouth drops open in shock, a sadness filling her for Emily. She can't believe what the redhead had to go through. That people physically hurt her. That her parents didn't stand up for her. Her mum might have her flaws, a lot of them in the blonde's opinion, but Naomi still knows that her mum would never let anyone hurt her like that. Can't imagine how it must have been for Emily. Wonders if it's still that way for Emily and Naomi just hasn't noticed because she's been too wrapped up in it.

"Why didn't her parents do anything?"

Cook shakes his head. "Not my place to talk about that Blondie. If you already knew, you wouldn't be asking. And if you don't know then Emily doesn't want you to."

Naomi opens her mouth then closes it again. Feels that knot in her stomach forming. Cook is right. Blunt, but right. She knows Emily is keeping things from her but she doesn't like the idea of someone else knowing that too, especially someone like Cook. Makes her feel like maybe this thing between her and Emily isn't what she thinks it is.

The sit in silence for a little longer, Naomi's appetite gone after half a slice, content with her cigarette. She slides her phone out of her pocket and checks the time. It's been twenty minutes since she woke up. Still no sign of Emily. She decides to send her a text, something cute and innocuous just to contact her in some way, but as she's typing her phone vibrates with a message from Katie.

**Bitchh! Get your ass ovr**

**ti Effys becuse we'rre**

**almost drunnk and you**

**should be here drnk tooo. **

Naomi chuckles, thinking of a drunken Katie trying to text. Drunk Katie is fun. She's a little less uptight and a bit more outrageous and makes Naomi laugh. That big belly type laugh that gives your stomach muscles a workout. She makes Naomi do things that she never thought she would. Like sing Karaoke at some grungy pub they'd been to the weekend before. Or watch a Hilary Duff movie. She never makes Naomi feel like an idiot or out of place. None of them do.

The blonde has a sudden urge to hang out with her friends. To give all this Emily stuff a break for a night and just go and have some silly carefree fun with her friends. Stubbs out her cigarette in the empty pizza box Cook is using as an ashtray and is about to text Katie back when she hears the front door opening. Knows that it has to be Emily, finally back from wherever she'd gone.

Naomi hears the footsteps approaching the kitchen, the redhead coming into view seconds later. She grins at Naomi and steps towards her. "I see you found the pizza." She bends forward and kisses the blonde, a lingering kiss on the lips.

"I was about to send out a search party," Naomi jokes lightly, but she watches Emily closely. Wants to know where she went.

Emily pulls a chair out and takes a seat next to the blonde, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

"It's no big deal. I just had to pick something up for a friend."

Emily reaches into her bag and pulls out a plastic bag filled with hundreds of tiny white pills and some smaller plastic bags filled with white powder. Drops them in front of Cook who's smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

"Good work Emilio. I owe you one."

"Fucking right you do."

Naomi releases a deep breath. She never thought she'd be so glad to find out that her girlfriend was out buying drugs. But at least she wasn't with some girl. Some girl who can give her what Naomi isn't. But it was just a favour for Cook. Naomi feels silly for worrying.

Emily rests her hand on Naomi's thigh. "I'm sorry I had to leave you here." She turns to Cook. "Next time you're getting your own gear."

Cook dips his pinkie finger into the powder, rubs it into his gums. Naomi feels like she's watching a movie. Never in a million years thought this would be her life.

"Not my fault all of your exes have the best shit. You get a better deal."

Cooks winks at the redhead and Naomi feels her stomach drop. She knows what Cook is implying. Feels that knot tighten.

Emily scoffs. Shakes her head and squeezes Naomi's thigh. Doesn't seem fazed by Cook's comments, but she never does, Naomi thinks.

"No more discounts Cook. In fact I think she charged me more...when I...er...declined our usual payment method."

She smiles reassuringly at Naomi but the blonde doesn't really find any of this conversation comforting or reassuring. It makes her feel like she's out of her league. Like she's a kid playing with the grown-ups and one day the joke will be over and they won't let her play anymore.

"Naoms?"

Naomi's eyes flick up and find brown eyes searching her own for a sign that everything's okay. Naomi doesn't know if it is, but she wants it to be, so she smiles. Knows that when it's just her and Emily everything is okay. Wants it to be just the two of them.

Emily somehow seems to understand her need for them to be alone right now.

"Let's go up to mine yeah?"

The redhead stands and offers her hand out to the blonde who takes it and rises to her feet.

"Don't forget to make loud noises," Cook calls out as they climb the stairs.

-x-

Lying in Emily's bed an hour later Naomi is feeling better. Feeling like they are them again. There's a movie on in the background but both girls are too wrapped up in each other to notice, kissing and touching slowly, knowing it won't go any further. Naomi catches sight of the colours on Emily's tattoo.

"Is your tattoo a swallow?"

Emily seems taken off-guard by the question but recovers quickly, her reaction intriguing the blonde. "Ah yeah. It is."

"It's pretty. How long have you had it? It's still really bright."

A darkness clouds Emily's face for the briefest of seconds, but Naomi is there to catch it.

"It's less than a year old."

Naomi brushes her finger along the top of it, just visible under Emily's jeans. Feels the redhead inhale sharply.

"It feels like there are...like...lots of scars or something under here."

Emily clears her throat. "Yeah. I was in an accident when I was younger. Kind of nasty and it didn't heal properly."

Naomi can feel the tension in Emily's body. Feels the tension creep into her own. Knows that the answer is bullshit. That's not how Emily got those scars. She lied.

Emily must sense the shifting mood between them as well because she covers Naomi's hand with her own, taking it from her hip and playing with the blonde's fingers. Slipping them in and out from between her own fingers. Running a finger down her open palm.

But all Naomi can think about is that Emily lied.

-x-

Emily makes sure to walk Naomi home before ten, just in case her mum gets home early from her date. The blonde is still feeling out of sorts, and Emily picks up on it, asking her if anything is wrong but Naomi shrugs it away. Doesn't know how to confront Emily about it or even if she should. She's still upset that Emily lied to her, but the more she thinks about it the more she can understand it. It's not something people usually shout from the rooftops so she can understand Emily not wanting to talk about it. But it's the lying that Naomi doesn't like. Although really, she can't judge. She's lying to everyone in her life. Including Emily.

"So, how do you feel about this Tesco Roger your mum is dating?"

Naomi shrugs. "Haven't really met him. He's no doubt the same as the rest of those losers she always dates. He'll do the same thing and then we'll have to move again."

Emily brushes her thumb across the back of the blonde's hand. "I'm sorry. That must be shit."

"Yeah."

It is shit and Naomi hates it. But it's her life. She's used to it. It'll be over soon and she'll be at Goldsmiths. Light at the end of the tunnel.

"Can I ask," the redhead begins tentatively, "what happened to your dad?"

Naomi blinks. Feels her heart start to race. She really wishes Emily hadn't asked that.

"Oh, he died when I was a kid. Car accident."

She says it like every other time she's said it. Practiced and rehearsed and emotionless.

And a lie.

Emily looks at her oddly for a brief second, but it's gone before Naomi can really figure out what it was, replaced with a consoling expression.

"I'm sorry," the redhead says softly.

"Thanks."

They walk the rest of the way in silence, too many thoughts bouncing around Naomi's mind. She doesn't know why she didn't tell Emily the truth. Wait, yes she does. The same reason she doesn't tell anyone the truth. Now she really can't be angry with the redhead for lying about her scars when she's just done the same thing.

Emily kisses her goodnight at her front door and waits for Naomi to be locked up safe inside before she starts walking home. Naomi waves through the glass in the door.

Wonders if the wall between the two of them will ever really come down.

.

.

* * *

**To those of you getting frustrated with the mysterious Emily Fitch...now you know how Naomi feels...but it's not like she's being super honest now either, is it? And I know Cook would use much vulgar language for some things, but I just can't bring myself to type it...I'm a lady :P**

**Aaaand this is super random, (when am I not), and I never really watch actual TV but I love this ad – www .youtube. com/watch?v=ouRUgO2RKaE...and the Prodigy reminds me of when I was like 12 or 13 spending whole summer days at the beach or in the city getting up to mischief and coming home whenever the sun went down...so carefree...ahhhh memorieeeeees...**


	32. author note, sorry

I'm pretty sure most of you are going to be disappointed/pissed off with me after this so I'm going to be blunt –

For various reasons writing this story makes me sad...and sad isn't something I need more of in my life right now. My father is sick and has declined quite rapidly over the last few months and I don't know if any of you have known someone dying of lung cancer but it's just as horrible as you'd imagine. Like all families, mine is complicated and it's bringing out the best and worst in all of us. I'm also getting over a heartbreak and recently realised that someone I thought loved me doesn't give much of a shit about me. My work load has literally doubled this year and since I have to pretend to be a functioning adult I'm doing everything I can to avoid feeling like shit, which means avoiding things that make me sad...like this story. I keep getting lovely messages from you guys asking about it and I appreciate them but I also feel this sense of guilt about it all that I just don't need right now.

For all those and a million other reasons this story is going on some kind of indefinite hiatus.

I hope this doesn't seem like some wanky self-indulgent thing...it's just that I've always felt like we were all in this story together, like it was just as much mine as it was yours, so I felt like I owed an explanation. I also just don't like it when people are mad at me.

I'd like to think that I'll finish it later in the year, but I don't know.

I'm really sorry I've stuffed you all around.

:)


	33. Chapter 33

To the motherfucking asshole that left me that anonymous review – today my best friend and I helped my mum move my dad's stuff from his house into her spare room so she can look after him until he dies. I had my mum crying in my arms about it. I'm sorry my father's terminal illness has inconvenienced you. While my family has to watch as he slowly wastes away and suffocates to death I should have thought about the impact it would have on you and your ability to continue reading this story. How selfish of me. Every time he has an excrutiatingly painful ten minute long coughing fit and then vomits I will think of you and how hard done by you are. I know you're not the one who has undergone multiple rounds of soul destroying chemo and experimental drug trials for years but clearly you're the one who is really suffering here. And you're right, this is bullshit. I should totally stop toying with you and force myself to use my personal time to write something I don't want to write and am not getting paid for just so you can abuse me for it.

You finish the fucking story you fucking asshole. Then go fuck yourself.

On a brighter note, I'd just like to say thanks to the majority of you peeps who said lovely things and sent well wishes. It was really nice. i have an idea for a fluffy one-shot that I'm hoping to find some time to write soon.

(I'm sorry to the rest of you and I know it's poor form but I couldn't let that motherfucker say shit and not reply.)

:)


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